


Ice Hot

by Blizzaurus (Pisara)



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, And some mistletoe action, Enemies to Lovers, Expect very little substance from this fic, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Lots of winter activities in general, Skiing, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 111,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27825577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisara/pseuds/Blizzaurus
Summary: Raquel signs up for a company retreat to Northern Europe in hopes of a much-needed break after Alberto wreaked havoc in her life - that is, until she learns that Sergio Marquina, the aloof office despot is paired up with her. He is her only colleague she strongly suspects cannot stand her. He never says more than two words to her and goes out of his way to avoid being alone with her.But the trip is all expenses paid and she came all the way here, so she has no choice but to get used to sensing his glare at the back of her head during every compulsory team-building winter activity they take part in.She will not chicken out.Even if it turns out she has to share a room with him in the company cabin.Oh, joy.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 795
Kudos: 1311





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally supposed to be a typical advent calendar fic like the one I did last year, but then I realized chapters as short as 1k would not work with this story. So I decided that this fic would be updated every other day instead of daily and would span for more than the 24 days before Christmas. It is has more of a general winter theme than a Christmassy one so I believe this structure works. I hope you will forgive me for putting The Consort on hold for the duration of this fic. I promise I will get right back to it in January!
> 
> Along with being my sort of an advent fic, this story is my love letter for the Finnish Lapland. I hope each one you who enjoys this story gets the opportunity to visit it someday. 
> 
> If my last year's fic was inspired by Jane Austen's Persuasion, this one is by Pride and Prejudice - although it does not follow the plot of the novel at all. I am more so imitating the feel of that story because I have long wanted to write an Enemies to Lovers sort of serquel fic. I must also note that this is written purely as a romcom so some character traits might be exaggerated for comedic effect.
> 
> I hope this will bring joy to your dark winter days. Let me know in the comments what you think about the progression of the story. I will try to reply to the best of my ability :)

Perhaps if she closed her eyes and prayed really, really hard, it wouldn't be real.

_Santa María, Madre de Dios…_

But when she opened her eyes again, there was still pigeon shit all over her finest dress shirt.

Her heel was was placed on the first step of the front entrance. It was as if Satan himself had dispatched one last cavalry to take her down before she could duck into the safety of the pigeonless, sleek hallways of Plan P Marketing. Either there was someone up there who hated her, or this was a revenge coordinated by the seagull she had refused to yield her fries to last summer.

Passers-by were laying amused glances at her as she stood there, frozen, the bird excrement slowly drying on her shoulders and shirt front. She needed a moment to contemplate death, avian hate crimes and what she would do next - in no particular order.

Today was the day of the quarterly presentations. Her moment to shine. The exact reason she had spent more time than usual picking her outfit and styling her hair, leaving her arrival at her workplace at the very last moments. Those would be now spent in the bathroom trying to salvage her appearance.

As she launched inside, a plan forming in her head, she wondered whether a certain someone would think it a bigger insult to be late or walk in as literal pile of shit. 

She very narrowly decided the right answer was the latter one.

* * *

"As you can see, we were not completely successful in overcoming last year's slump-"

The speech was interrupted by Raquel's tumultuous entrance. All the heads in the conference room rotated toward her like clockwork.

"I am sorry I am late," she huffed out, her breath still shaky from the running. 

She made her way to the only empty seat left as everyone stared at her. One pair of eyes she could feel most keenly on her, but she did not let this fluster her, placing her laptop on the table, turning it on and arranging her notes next to it into neat order.

She only got as far as the announcement of dozen updates her computer would have to undergo before allowing her to use it when she attracted the attention of her colleague Daniel. 

"What's with the jacket?" he said, pausing the vital of progress of coloring in the a's and o's of the meeting agenda in order to gesture toward Raquel's seasonally inappropriate outfit.

Raquel offered him a tight-lipped, 'please shut up' smile.

"I am cold."

"Aren't those beads of sweat on your forehead?"

They had been the result of her desperate scurrying here from the bathroom. Raquel, brushing her hand over her forehead to wipe away the excessive moisture there, realized her skin was piping hot and she had to resemble a melting strawberry ice cone with a jacket on. No wonder everyone was staring.

"Yes, but I am still cold."

The gears in Daniel's head were visibly grinding. "Are you running a fever?" 

God, if once in her life she could get away with strangulation... 

"You shouldn't be at work if you are sick, señora Murillo," boomed a voice from the other side of the room. 

Raquel lifted her eyes slowly to meet Sergio Marquina's.

Sergio answered with his cool, indifferent gaze. He was in his usual seat at the end of the room, the light of the projector behind him casting a long shadow over the table. Sometimes Raquel wondered whether he realised how much of an action film villain he looked at times. There was his black suit that was probably permanently stuck to his skin and glasses that most likely contained some sort of a death laser. Perhaps one day when she had provoked him enough he would use it on her.

"I am not sick, señor Marquina," she said with an even, measured voice. 

"If the jacket is distracting your colleagues, you need to take it off," he answered seriously as if she was deliberately obstructing the operation of one of the biggest marketing companies in the world by wearing what she wore.

Something had been activated in Raquel, something that pushed all thoughts of embarrassment aside. That was the magic of Sergio Marquina. Her desire to rise against him at every turn was something powerful enough to override everything else.

Thus, she slowly stood up and unbuttoned the jacket. She let it slip down from her shoulders, revealing to everyone what was underneath.

For a moment, the room was deathly silent. 

What everyone was now seeing was a yoga top Raquel had been planning on wearing for her self defense class in the evening. It was sleeveless, bubblegum pink and exposed a sliver of her stomach. It was perhaps the very worst piece of clothing she could have possibly worn to this presentation, but she'd had no choice and Sergio had _insisted_.

So there she stood, her hands at her hips while everyone gaped at her, refusing to feel an ounce of shame.

Then, an excessively long wolf whistle broke the silence and everyone burst into life, launching and yelling.

The whistle had been let out by Silene who was currently undressing Raquel with her eyes.

She was the HR department's nightmare. Raquel was never really sure if her brazen flirtatiousness was a weapon or just something born out of the mind-numbing boredom of this job. Just in case, she didn't want to give her any fodder. Silene was the head of TKY-O department, ranking at the same level of hieracrhy as everyone else in this room except for Sergio. Her desk was in front of Raquel's which allowed her to see just how often the girl turned on some extraordinarily violent first-person shooter game on her computer when Sergio was not looking.

The person who seemed most amused by her stunt was Andrés, wearing one of his usual cryptic smiles. Just a year ago, he would have been staring at Raquel in the same lecherous manner as Silene. But that had been before _it_ had happened, and Raquel supposed it was only natural for any attraction the men of her workplace might have felt for her to have drizzled out like helium from a leaky balloon. 

He was a private person, and the only things Raquel knew about him were that he was related to Sergio, and that he had been married six times. It really was no wonder. He oozed charm like sweat. She was almost certain even the burly, bearded guy who changed the canister of their water dispenser twice a week could have been persuaded to go home with him in less than two sentences. He was in charge of BRL-N division and customer relations. She really, really hoped that he wasn't currently engaged to one of their clients.

Daniel, the head of DNV-R was almost choking on his usual crackling laughter. He had been sent here after Ángel had been given the boot earlier this year. He had interned for his father before his retirement and the corporate decided that was enough experience he needed to take over his division for the time being, although Raquel was fairly confident he had no idea what he was doing. The last time she had walked by his desk he had been making a house of cards out of his business cards.

Men had it so easy. Raquel had been working here since she hung up her police uniform 9 years ago and she had only managed to score one promotion to her current position after all that time. Though it was not Daniel's fault, the poor guy probably was looking wistfully back to the time he was a bowling alley manager.

The last of the division leaders who was neither amused or titillated was Ágata, the chief of NRB-I. She was rolling her eyes at the others so vigorously Raquel was sure she could soon hear a vein pop. Out of them all, she perhaps felt the most kinship with her. She was also a mother and was actively fighting against the male-biased pecking order of the company. However, her main topics of discussion seemed to be restricted to partying in Ibiza and how much she was looking forward to her next trip of partying in Ibiza which Raquel couldn't exactly relate to. The last time she had been out dancing Paula had still been in a stroller.

Finally, there was Sergio Marquina. The branch manager who had looked like he had gone through all the stages of grief as Raquel had taken her jacket off. He had then turned as red as a firetruck, and his complexion had still not quite returned to its normal paleness. Currently, he was engaging Raquel in a staring challenge. 

He always did this whenever he was displeased about something in her, although the feeling seemed to be perpetual. Raquel couldn't remember a time she hadn't been the first person he had looked at after entering a room. She answered his stare with her own defiant one. 

It did not take long for him to look away. He was always the first to do that. It was disappointing in a way. It was as if he did not deem Raquel worth the battle.

"Very well, you can put the jacket back on," he said, his gaze averted to the extent that he was close to dislocating his neck. It was as if the sight of her skin physically pained him. Bastard.

"No, no, no. I am not going to put my jacket back on. As you said, it was _distracting_."

Daniel sniggered.

And so Raquel spent the rest of the meeting in her pink yoga top, as well as conducted her presentation in it. Midway through it, she started to feel almost proud of herself. Her figures were good, in fact, her division was the highest selling one of the whole branch this quarter-year. And as to the matter of her unprofessional outfit, well, anything she could do to spite Sergio gave her pleasure no matter how embarrassed she might feel about it later.

Sergio wasn't looking at her while she talked. His eyes were glazed over, directed at something far away in the distance. He was probably fantasizing about the moment he'd be able to slip into his coffin and spend the night with his pet bats guarding him.

Raquel could bet all her savings that Sergio had not deigned to pay attention to a single word she'd said. But that was alright. The numbers couldn't lie and he had already seen them. He had to acknowledge her accomplishments somehow.

The others clapped and cheered at the end, perhaps more at her shamelessness than the presentation she had just given. She gave a curtsy with a big smile. 

For the first time in forever, it felt like the _thing_ had never happened and people looked at her like they used to, when Raquel had only been an unremarkable colleague no one was whispering about.

She focused her attention on Sergio before she could see the façade of normalcy fade and everyone go back to looking at her in their usual, pitying manner.

The man had woken up from his trance and looked extremely thoughtful. He was probably contemplating on the foreboding reality of having to compliment her next.

And thus he stayed, stubbornly silent before finally:

"Thank you, señora Murillo," he simply stated, not looking up from his computer screen. "Up next we have señorita Jiménez with her quarterly report..."

Raquel stared at him in astonishment. Was he really not going to acknowledge her at all? 

But then someone else voiced exactly what she was thinking.

"What's up your ass, hermanito? Say something nice to her. You did that for everyone else."

She never thought Andrés would be the one to defend her as she was not quite sure if he even remembered her name most of the time. Then again, Sergio actively loathed her but had yet to fire her. One ought to expect strange things from that pair of brothers.

Sergio gave his brother a glare to which he responded by pulling up an HR complaint form on his computer with an easy smile. Raquel could see it from the reflection of the window he was sitting in front of. She supposed one of the downsides of having your older brother work for you was the constant heckling. As far as she knew, Andrés had already managed to send Sergio to management training camp at least once after fervently complaining he did not compliment his employees enough.

Sergio then sighed before finally offering up his opinion.

"I appreciate señora Murillo's habit of being usually on time and in work appropriate attire. That was probably reflected in her figures."

He then directed his gaze back at his computer.

So that was all he had to say. Raquel had never felt a more burning urge to fling a table at someone.

Now she was certain. She could single-handedly quadruple the profits of the company and he would still not manage to compliment her. 

"You may return to your seat."

Raquel must have frozen there right in front of the screen in her effort to transmit 'I hate you I hate you I hate you' signals to him with just her gaze. She met Andrés' eyes. The man shrugged. _I tried._

She walked back to her seat with her chin held up high, not giving Sergio the pleasure of seeing her rattled.

Ágata replaced her in front of the screen, moving fast as if eager to break the uncomfortable silence in the room as soon as possible.

"Right, before my presentation I wanted to remind everyone of the company retreat to Northern Finland the corporate is organizing for all the senior positions in this branch. The deadline for sign-ups is on Friday midnight this week. Be sure not to miss it."

The reminder of the trip perked everyone up. The anticipation of a luxurious ski trip had the capability to fill people with the sense that maybe their jobs did not suck quite so much, and maybe the higher-ups cared about them after all. Raquel remained skeptical. Free trip was an easy way to improve the morale the corporate had trodden low in the first place, and a fine excuse for their superiors to ignore all requests for a whole year. Virtually, it was the same as the pizza party Fridays they had had last summer. Daniel had not complained about overtime even once.

"I have always wanted to see the Northern Lights," he said excitedly. "What even is the point if we do not see the Northern Lights?"

"I'd love to see reindeer," someone else piped up.

"Reindeer," Daniel repeated, now with an incredulous tone. "Why don't we go stalking for unicorns while we are at it, eh?" 

This comment was so concerning that it was able to take Raquel's mind off Sergio for the rest of the meeting.

* * *

After the meeting Raquel took her time gathering her things, lost in thoughts of how to best remove pigeon shit from clothing. This resulted in her being left behind as everyone else poured out of the room toward the elevators. She soon realized her mistake and hurried out.

 _Wait for me, wait for me,_ she prayed in her mind as she rushed out of the room and saw the others already loading onto the elevator.

But she wasn't fast enough and the doors closed in front of her, none of her colleagues having reacted fast enough to prevent it.

_Oh, great._

The reason for her haste had been the desire not to end up alone with a certain someone, the possibility of which was growing more and more imminent as she began to hear footsteps from behind her.

She pinched her eyes shut and drew in a deep breath. She could do this. If she had been able to face cold-blooded criminals in her last occupation, she could spend a minute or two in an elevator together with Sergio.

When Sergio finally arrived by her side, he said nothing, just stood there looking at his phone. He then lifted his head, saw her and seemed to visibly start like a small animal who had not noticed a predator next to it before now. Raquel did not know whether to be amused or offended by this.

She stared at him, and he stared back at her. This little staring match he lost in record time. He was only able to bear 10 seconds.

"I'll take the stairs," he suddenly announced.

Raquel looked at him incredulously. "It is 13 floors."

He muttered something about needing exercise before disappearing into the stairway Raquel was pretty sure had not been used since the fire alarm Daniel's burnt sandwich had caused several months ago.

Raquel was left staring after him, her vision growing red. _She came short even when pitted against 13 floors of stairs._

She really, really hated that man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, already 100 kudos after one measly chapter! I am so grateful for all the support, you have no idea! I will try find time to answer each one of you over the weekend.
> 
> TW: there are brief mentions of domestic abuse in this chapter. 
> 
> Even though this fic is a light and humorous one, Raquel's past is still discussed every once in a while as I find it impossible to detach from her character.

"C'mon Raquel, it'll be fun!"

Raquel sighed. She was staring at an incomprehensible excel sheet in front of her as Ágata sat on her desk, swinging her feet, trying to coax her into signing up for the company retreat. On top of it, she had to worry that Sergio who was sitting at the back of the room in their open office space wouldn't take offense and give her a warning. Only one of these enterprises was enough to give her a headache. 

"I told you, I cannot leave my daughter for that long," she mumbled, hoping that would successfully stymie Ágata. She loved her, but the thought of spending two weeks with her coworkers in snowy wilderness sounded more like a bad reality TV pitch than a vacation. 

"My Axel is perfectly happy to spend some time with his grandparents. Couldn't your mother take her in?"

She made a noncommittal noise. What Raquel did not want to admit aloud was that her mother might be too busy with her new boyfriend for that. 

It was all thanks to her. After her mother started showing some concerning symptoms, she had started seeking someone to keep her company during the day while she was at work. As luck would have it, Mariví had fallen head over heels with her nurse, and now they were living together in a rental downtown like a pair of lovestruck teenagers who had discovered the joys of cohabitation for the first time. 

She was happy for her, but god, there was something rather depressing about her 60-year old mother who was suffering from the early stages of dementia having a more active sex life than her

God. Here she was, thinking about sex again. She really needed to set up something akin to a swear jar for that. And use the money to buy herself a private island in a month or two.

Ágata did not help the matter by introducing the next topic of conversation. 

"We can chase through hot Scandinavian men together," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

"I am actually not sure if Finland is part of Scandinavia," Raquel mumbled, trying not to think about how long it had been for her. Was it possible for cobwebs to form down there?

Ágata made a dismissive hand gesture. "They might as well be, people up there are all blue-eyed, blond vikings. They'll be easy game too. They know that we Spanish girls know how to have fun!"

Raquel thought back to the half-finished bottle of cheap white wine she had left in her kitchen and the two whole episodes of MasterChef her VCR had picked up for her. Fun, indeed. 

The reason she was alone on a Friday night was because Paula was staying with her friend Máxima. Her family was the kind that owned horses and a summer home at the Canaries. The mother, Alicia, spent her time lounging around in a silken morning robe drinking customized cocktails around the clock. God, it was so hard to stay friends with her. Raquel was really trying but if she had to see one more unprompted "skincare for single mothers" post Alicia had shared with her she was going on a rampage in Madrid like some Spanish knock-off Godzilla. 

"I don't know, Ágata. Perhaps we should not go hunting for those poor men. We would only scare them away with our 21st century appearance, and running vikings are so much harder to take aim at…"

From the back of the room came something that sounded awfully lot like a low laugh. But it couldn't be.

Raquel craned her neck to see whether she had actually heard Sergio-permanent-frown-Marquina laugh, only to find him staring at his monitor emotionlessly, just like always. But she could have sworn that masculine sound couldn't have come from no one else. Andrés was on one of his daily two hour-long lunches and the suspicious rising and falling of Daniel's shoulders suggested he had fallen asleep in the middle of a game of solitaire. 

Perhaps Sergio had just choked on a stereoid-injected protein bar he consumed every hour. At least she thought he did something like that. There was no other explanation for the somewhat impressive musculature of his arms. It was baffling. He should be as frail as a baby bird based on her imaginings about his lifestyle. 

Raquel stared at his arms with a frown before she snapped out of her reverie upon the realization of what she had been doing. This was how she knew her drought had gone on for far too long. She was staring at _Sergio's_ arms.

God, she really needed to get laid. Or buy one of those spray bottles people used to train their cats and just use it on herself.

"If it helps, I don't think Sergio has anyone either," Ágata said, lowering her voice into a whisper.

"Really?" Raquel asked. A second later she realized how surprised she had sounded which probably gave Sergio more credit than she was comfortable giving. 

"Yeah, I know. I know he is kind of a wet blanket, but he looks like a guy who could score a Scandinavian swimsuit model," Ágata whispered, her eyes lingering on his physique maybe a tad too long. "Wait, maybe that is why he suggested Finland for the corporate."

Raquel did not answer on the grounds of not wanting to acknowledge anything about his attractiveness. She could see why a woman who had a fondness for fit, owlish sort of men would be into him, but that was as far as she would cave. 

Sometimes she wonders if he came here with a Clark Kent-esque undercover role, but suffered an amnesia-inducing blow to his head that made him mistake his false identity as his true one. Now he was stuck in this dull desk job, dedicating his whole life for hunting for typos in other people's emails and keeping detailed records on how much time they spent on bathrooms breaks, either for reports going straight to corporate or his own diary of grievances. 

The thought of it was so tragic that Raquel had to take a moment to absorb it. A moment of silence for Superman. 

Ágata construed her silence in the wrong way, her head tilting in that way Raquel hated. It was better characterized as the way one looked at a three-legged puppy. She inwardly sighed. _Here we go again._

"It would be good for you, you know, after…"

God, she couldn't even say it aloud. Was Raquel's life really that demoralizing?

"Anyway," she continued. "There are plenty of _nice_ guys out there. I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't have your pick of men."

Raquel offered her a tight-lipped smile, biting back her reply of _Oh I see. My mistake had been going for the guy with the 'huge raging bastard' written in flaming letters on his forehead. Silly her, not going for a nice guy instead._

But it was no use retorting something like that. Ágata just wanted to help and there was some truth in what she was saying. Raquel really, really needed to get laid.

If only dating was as simple as what she made it out to be.

"So tell me about yourself."

"Well, my core defining personality traits are my gumption, my sense of humor and of course, the fact that my ex husband used to hit me. At least if you ask my coworkers. How about you?"

It was the one thing each of her colleagues thought every time they interacted with her. The poor battered woman. One must spend at least 45 minutes rephrasing emails directed to her lest she burst into tears like the fragile thing she was.

Things really hadn't been the same since the arrest of the notable police officer Alberto Vicuña had gone viral. Suddenly her coworkers that had been flirting or sparring with her either pretended she did not exist out of awkwardness of not knowing what to say to her or simply smothered her with benevolence like Ágata here. Daniel had left her the last piece of pizza on each pizza party Friday. Andrés had stopped leering at her as if there was a giant black vacuum on the place of a woman he once found so desirable. Even Silene's comments that vaguely bordered on sexual harassment started to feel like they were mostly born out of desire to boost her self confidence. 

The only exception was Sergio. Outside of offering her an opportunity to take some time off directly after the incident, his behavior toward her had not changed one bit. She had a suspicion she could show up to work with 2/3 of her fingers amputated and he would still demand she type at the speed of 75 words a minute to ensure maximum productivity.

In a weird sort of way, she was grateful for it. At least there was one person she did not have to put a brave face on for. She could sit here screaming at the top of her lungs from 9 to 5 and he would think nothing of it.

Oh well, he would probably add such behavior as one more reason he thought her a poor employee, but Raquel had stopped giving a rat's ass about that a long time ago. What he thought about her really didn't bother her.

Most of the time.

"Only if you are ready," Ágata hastily added as if she had committed a textbook mistake from her 'how to speak to a domestic abuse survivor' manual.

"I will think about it," Raquel smiled.

In the next moment, Ágata had sprung up from her seat on Raquel's desk and was power-walking toward her own work station. The reason for this was clear. Sergio had risen from his seat and was now fast approaching where Raquel was sitting.

The dragon had left its lair.

Raquel quickly closed the tab where she had minesweeper open and re-immersed herself in her excel sheet, all the while wondering why Sergio had chosen her as his target this time. A familiar sensation filled her stomach as always when she sensed his attention was solely directed at her.

He could be coming over to count her staples to see if she had stolen any more than she needed from the supply storage or something just as petty. One time he had stopped by her desk just to comment on a postcard of Lisbon she had taped to her monitor. She thought it had been cute, as their division names were sometimes nicknamed after world cities they most closely resembled. Her LSB-N had been easily converted into Lisbon and thus she had put up a picture of it up in her work station. But then Sergio had stopped to stare at it one time and told her it was 'funny.'

That seemed to be an obvious code for highly inappropriate so she took it down.

She sensed him behind her and swiveled her chair around and was about to express her regret about how her staple-smuggling crime emporium was crumbling to dust before her very eyes, but Sergio had already opened his mouth before she could start. 

"Are you planning on coming to the company retreat?"

She blinked. He must have heard her and Ágata talk. The fact that he had listened without punishing them for wasting company's time was strange enough, but caring enough to ask her about it? It was plain bizarre.

"I don't know."

"You haven't signed up for it. 

"I know."

Sergio's mouth was a thin, unhappy line. "You are cutting it a bit close."

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone else has signed up weeks ago. The arrangements are already underway."

 _He doesn't want her to come to this trip_ , she read between the lines.

The thought of spoiling his fun of having two whole weeks of Raquel-free existence was almost enough for her to announce that she was coming along right there and then. But she had learned to control her impulses better over time. In her early days at the company, after recognizing Sergio's clear distaste for her, she hadn't been able to go a week without pranking him in some petty way like by switching the caps of his colored pens so he would accidentally sign important documents in pink. There had never been enough evidence to implicate her, but she had deemed it wise to quit while she was ahead.

"Perhaps the last sign-up day should have been moved earlier then," she stated dryly, twirling her pencil in her hand.

Once again, they engaged in a staring match. If they kept this up, Raquel would soon be able to pick Sergio from a crowd of thousands just based on the brown of his eyes.

"If you truly wanted to come, you would have signed up already. I am wasting my time," he finally said, as sharp as a whip, before turning and leaving as if he was unwilling to expend any more energy on talking to her.

Raquel suppressed her urge to use her pen as a murder weapon and lowered it back down on her desk, staring after him fiercely.

She was still thrown off her composure long after he had gone, her cheeks burning and heavy breaths whistling through her teeth as she tried to focus on her work. She was unusually unsettled by him today. This barely constituted as a normal Tuesday and yet here she was, red-hot fury coursing through her veins.

She tried to calm herself down by directing her thoughts far away from him. She needed to go to her happy place. 

But even her happy place had him in it, and no matter how hard she tried, the fantasy persisted. She wanted to push him down to the ground and climb on him, sit astride his torso, wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze…

It was time to open up the document.

Raquel searched for it in her computer files. She had created it for moments like this, when she was so full of frenzy she might actually say or do something that might cost her her job. As much as it frustrated her at times, it kept her daughter fed and clothed. She was not exactly getting child support checks from prison.

The document flickered on her screen. It was a simple blank page with a single sentence written on it.

_Remember what happened to Ángel._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments! I think we can all agree that Sergio needs to learn some communication skills. And you will find out what happened to Ángel soon :D
> 
> Enjoy today's chapter!

Back home after a long day's work, Raquel toed her heels off and slumped on her couch without taking her jacket off. There was no one here to judge her for it. The house was empty and dark like her mind. 

She was starting to look wistfully back to the time when she'd come to home with smoke alarms blaring because her mother had forgotten to turn the oven off and Paula crying because she had accidentally flushed her favorite doll down the toilet. Just a typical day a few years ago. 

Luckily, Paula would be back tomorrow and she could resume her life of hectic motherhood instead of microwaving herself a meal and digging up that half a bottle of wine from the back of the cabinet.

She cringed as she thought about what Ágata and her other coworkers would think of her now. It would probably confirm their assumptions of how she wretched her little life was. 

She wasn't sure what Sergio would think. He probably did not think about her at all if she wasn't right under his nose, breaking some company protocol. He was definitely _her_ nemesis, but perhaps he had his own Sergio who vexed him just as much he did her. The thought annoyed her for some reason. She would like the passion behind their tug-of-war to be mutual.

Or maybe interpersonal relationships were something he simply did not occupy himself with to that extent. Tonight, he would probably work until he passed out, and sleep against his desk until early morning light with a faint smile on his face. He had pleased his corporate overlords. They have granted him sustenance.

It was easy to imagine him being alone as well tonight. Perhaps they were kindred souls in that regard. That knowledge gave her a semblance of comfort and she filled her glass to the brim.

The taped episodes of MasterChef did not manage hold her attention for long, and she felt the burning need to grab her phone and type in the familiar string of search words into Youtube. 

She really shouldn't. It was starting to become a dependence and probably not a healthy one. The fact that she hadn't mentioned it to her therapist was probably a telling sign.

On the other hand, she deserved any small joy she could get after everything she had been through. It was only her right as the victimized party.

So she typed in "Madrid wife-beater cop public arrest" and tapped on the first, often viewed video.

Alberto had shown up at work that day, unbeknownst to him that the camera in his police car had captured rather incriminating footage of an "incident" with his wife and transmitted it live to his colleagues. People always mention that the camera had been manufactured by one of the clients of Plan P Marketing. Some call it fate, Raquel preferred the word irony. 

The police had been waiting for him at the station and had cuffed him before he had even set a foot inside the building. They had then proceeded to cut him out of his uniform with scissors while someone filmed the whole thing. They had all been wearing big smiles in the progress. Probably not because they derived any true pleasure from carrying out justice, otherwise they would have actually heard out Raquel's complaints years ago, they had probably just long deemed Alberto a dick and got their rocks off humiliating him. In any case, it had all worked out in Raquel's favor and the video had went viral. It had been all anyone had been talking about for weeks which meant that the judge sentencing Alberto most likely had also seen it, along with the description of what exactly Alberto had done to her. Thus the sentence; 14 months in prison.

She had been lucky in that regard. Most abusers never had faced a crumb of a consequence for their actions. Plus, she could watch his downfall any time she wanted with a grin on her face.

But there was only so long gulping down cheap white wine and watching the video of Alberto's downfall could warm her heart. Its charm was starting to wear off after almost a year.

She really needed to get a hobby.

Just then, her phone rang and she grabbed it eagerly as she saw her daughter's name on the screen.

"Mama, mama, mama!" her daughter squealed.

"Calm down, cariño," Raquel laughed. "What is all the fuss about?"

"Please please please say yes! Please!"

"Say yes to what?"

There was the sound of shuffling as the phone was passed to someone else. Soon, Raquel heard the lilting, ever-languid voice of Alicia Sierra.

"Raquel," Alicia said, the inflated trill of her R pricking at her ears. "I was wondering whether it would be possible for your daughter to join our family for our yearly winter getaway to our little house in the Canaries. She seems quite keen on this idea."

On the background Raquel could hear excited yelling of Paula and Máxima.

"Oh, when?" Raquel asked, a sinking feeling in her chest.

"The first two weeks of December. I have already pulled some strings to arrange the girls leave from school," she cooed. 

_Two whole weeks..._

The cause for Raquel's distress was not that she did not trust Paula to be safe with Alicia, she had travelled with them before and she was fairly confident Alicia's "little house" was actually a mansion with a private beach, three-meter long fences and guard dogs, but Lord, two weeks was a _long_ time.

Paula had only been gone a day now, and she already missed her. And without her around, she had no reason to act like a functional adult. She would go straight from the pencil skirt and blouse she wore at work to pyjamas and not take them off for the whole weekend.

But those were all selfish reasons. Raquel couldn't give Paula this opportunity herself, not without saving quite a while for it first and it would be cruel to deny it from her simply because she couldn't part from her for that long.

"I- I suppose that is alright," she finally conceded. 

"Perrrfect," Alicia cooed while the children cheered in the background.

After talking over the details, Raquel finally hung up with a heavy heart. The empty house around seemed now twice as big and dark.

What would be the outcome of two weeks spent like this?

Her corpse feasted by wild dogs, a wine glass still firmly in her fist, maybe.

Or more probably, she would be busting her ass at work while her colleagues were off gallivanting in Finland.

Just the thought made her irritated and jealous.

This gave a swift stop to her train of thoughts. Wait, why jealous?

She had an opportunity to go there as well. All expenses paid trip. Two weeks of rest and relaxation and new experiences. Far away from her depressingly empty house. Why had she not wanted to go again?

Raquel tried to recall the reason she had arrived at the decision. Well, first off it was cold. And she couldn't really ski. Ágata might dedicate her whole time there to finding her a man and her other coworkers would invent their own ways of tormenting her. And of course, there was _Sergio_.

But who couldn't get used to a bit of cold? There were people living there, after all. And she would get a hang of skiing in no time, just as she would find ways to humor her colleagues without letting them drive her mad.

And when it came to Sergio...

He was only one man. She was able to go two weeks without snapping and fulfilling her murderous fantasies. Who knew, perhaps he would opt out after he discovered she was coming. From the looks of it, her question of her presence would either make or break his trip.

But that was on him. Raquel certainly let him ruin anything for her.

She curled up on the couch and pulled out the sign-up form. Just to spite a certain someone, she submitted the sign-up form at exactly one minute until midnight.

* * *

Instructions she had received on email required her to show up at the airport at 6 to receive her tickets. She aimed for 6:05 for the sake of an off chance she might end up having to awkwardly wait around for the others alone with Sergio. Well, it would be more uncomfortable for him. Whenever left alone with her, he started to look for the nearest escape like a cornered mouse.

Some deity must have smiled down upon her because as she walked through the doors, a stream from the air conditioner sent her hair blowing, and not in the way where she swallowed half of it. No, in the way a supermodel's hair was blown out for a photo op.

She must have looked positively divine.

And the best part was that most of coworkers had already come and thus witnessed this grand entrance.

Sergio had frozen on his spot, staring at her like she was a valkyrie from his worst nightmares.

Raquel stopped right in front of him, adjusting the grip of her suitcase with an expert motion. She then flashed him her most brilliant smile which caused Sergio's passport slip out of his fingers like it had suddenly turned into butter.

Less than a minute into this trip and the score was 1-0 for her already.

Raquel watched him fish it back from the floor. He had looked genuinely startled to see her here. Perhaps he had half-expected for her not to show. As if the completed sign-up form that had landed in his inbox had just been some sort of a test of character from gods. In that case, he had probably failed. And she had not.

She turned her attention to her coworkers who were standing in something akin to a semi-circle with their luggage. There was Daniel with his lovely wife Mónica, already fixing the coat her husband had buttoned wrong. Next to them stood Silene with her boyfriend that looked curiously like their new young intern from the tech department. After staring at him for quite some time with squinted eyes, Raquel realized she probably shouldn't even ask and moved onto the last couple with her gaze.

There she was in for a quite a shock. Next to Andrés did not stand some pretty young thing he had picked up from his travels to Venezuela or Cuba or the like, but a man close to his own his own age. He was currently staring at a flight brochure in his hand with a frown, as if he was personally offended that they would be served pistachios instead of macadamia nuts today. The matching wedding rings in their hands exposed him as Andrés' latest spouse, and Andrés was certainly gawking at him in a way only a man who had just spent over 500,000 euros on a wedding did.

Oh well, perhaps Andrés would be able to keep this one as there was little evidence about his compatibility with his own sex compared to the common knowledge of his six very unhappy ex-wives. Still, Raquel found himself hoping the man had an irontight pre-nup just in case Andrés' self-sabotage would shatter the relationship like a building rigged with precision explosives.

Just as she began to wonder where Ágata was, the woman appeared from behind the sliding doors, hauling a large suitcase after her. Raquel smiled at her.

That smile quickly faded as she saw that she was not alone. There was a man at her tail, carrying what had to be an assortment of Ágata's carry-on luggage.

"Sorry we are late," she said, linking hands with him.

 _So much for the single ladies' trip_ , Raquel thought.

"Who is this? You did not fill in the form that you would be bringing a plus one," Sergio objected, sounding scandalized at the mere thought of someone dishonoring the integrity of his sacred form.

"This is my fiancé. He will be paying for his own ticket. I am sorry for not putting him in the form, this was all so sudden," Ágata said, casting a loving glance at the man next to her.

As the rest of the group tried to come to terms with the words fiancé and sudden used in the same sentence, Sergio continued to gripe.

"I need to ask the corporate whether they'll allow an extra guest at the cabin. What's your name?" he asked, already aggressively typing something on his phone.

"Bogotá."

"Just Bogotá?"

"I am artist."

"He is an artist," Ágata added and looked back at the group as if in anticipation of their fascinated reactions.

Raquel glared back at her. She was not quite ready to forgive her for abandoning her to singledom. 

Great. Everyone else on this trip had a partner with them but her. As if they didn't have enough reasons to pity her already. If she turned her head now she would catch Mónica making puppy eyes at her with 99% probability.

Perhaps she would end up being feasted by a pack of wild dogs after all, but this time it would be voluntary.

* * *

After they had made it to the gate, the weariness of having to get up at 4 am and her general sour mood was starting show on her face. Thus, when the rest of the group went to tour the nearby shops before the boarding started, Raquel remained on a bench by the gate with Sergio as her sole company. He did not care about her wretchedness unlike the others and wouldn't offer any impromptu comfort.

Raquel once again dug her phone from her pocket and read Paula's travel updates. She had flown off the previous day and had sent her a great deal of pictures. Now she had to be asleep because no new snapshots of her smiling precious girl came through no matter how often Raquel refreshed the chat.

God, how she missed her already.

To her horror, Raquel found moisture gathering in her eyes and discreetly wiped it off. She wouldn't get caught crying in front of Sergio. That would be like begging to be the subject of the next memo he sends out; weeping in front of your supervisor is against company policy. Please do not do it.

But Sergio didn't do as much as twitch a muscle, his eyes glued on his book. After a moment, he closed it and rose. Raquel watched him go talk to a gate attendant. Most likely, he wanted to triple-check that the flight had Wi-Fi. God forbid he would lose touch with the corporate for longer than a few hours.

For a precious few moments, Raquel was free to wallow in her misery in peace.

In an hour, Raquel and the others had made their way inside the plane wherein she discovered the conditions she would be spending the next six hours in. She was seated between a mother with a crying toddler and a teenager blasting heavy metal music so loud in her headphones that even people sitting three rows behind had to be able to mouth along with the words. Besides that, the person sitting on the row before had reclined their middle seat so far back that Raquel would have to remove her ribcage in order to be comfortable.

It all seemed so natural to Raquel that she did not even blink. What else could she expect? She simply started putting her luggage away when a stewardess tapped her on her shoulder.

"Señora Murillo? It looks like you have been bumped to first class. Follow me please."

Raquel stared at the flight attendant in a wide-eyed surprise for a moment, before snapping out of it and instantaneously grabbing her bag before the woman could change her mind. This seemed like a perk who would go to the highest-ranking person of their little group, but Raquel wasn't going to question why she had been singled out. Far from it. "Sure."

She was guided to the front of the plane where she had her own large, comfortable seat and even a little TV. And after they were up in the air, someone poured her a glass of champagne.

Perhaps this trip wasn't off to such a bad start after all.

There was a business man eyeing her from the adjacent row. Flattered but uninterested, she looked away from him and directed her attention at the white-topped mountains in the window as they approached the very northernmost Europe. At the moment, she felt rather good about herself and her decision to come.

She was sure of it. She would finally get laid in Lapland.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wondering, should I do a twitter poll about what time I post these chapters? I am not sure what people think about the time I usually update.
> 
> I am really trying to find the time to answer comments, I just have to get my schoolwork out of the way first :') So happy to see so many people following the story!

The second Raquel stepped out of the airport doors in Kittilä, the cold air hit her face like a slap.

She had never felt such coldness before. It seemed to course through her bones into her very soul. Her fingertips were already tingling strangely and she cursed at her choice of fingerless gloves.

"I can feel my eyelashes," panicked Ágata while Silene stared at the breath clouding in front of her like it was an evil spirit.

"What is the temperature here?" asked Andrés who looked like he was very much regretting his choice of a fashionable, light coat. 

"You don't want to know," answered his husband.

"Hey look," exclaimed Daniel, standing in front of some informational sign. "We are in the northernmost 4% of the planet. How cool is that?"

"Cariño, I love you but please stop talking," whispered his wife while hugging herself.

"You can change into warmer gear later. We have to get the cars now if we want to arrive at the appointed rendezvous point in time," said Sergio. "Let's go."

Absolutely no one listened to him. Instead, they all returned to the airport lobby where they opened up their suitcases and changed on their warmest clothes all the while Sergio stared at his watch as if every second that passed sucked ten years out of him.

"We are 20 minutes behind the schedule," he announced as everyone poured back outside, and the cool air assaulted them once again. _Oh god, what had she done?_ Raquel thought as the cool air surrounded her like a herd of angry bees. How had she ever arrived at the decision to leave the warmth of Madrid? The warmth of Helsinki for that matter. They had changed planes there and even that place had felt womblike compared to this.

"So?" Said Ágata, looking very much like she was contemplating shoving that watch of his into his mouth. "Just give us the keys and we'll- Wait, where is the third car?"

There had been three cars waiting for them outside before they had gone back in to change, but one of them was conspicuously missing, along with one of the three keys. The conclusion about its whereabouts was quickly drawn when they noticed Silene and her boyfriend were nowhere to be seen.

"I can't believe they took one of the cars for themselves! There are 10 of us, now the rest has to pack into two cars."

Considering Silene's distaste for speed limits and Raquel's desire to stay alive, she was silently very happy the possibility of ending up in the same car with her was no longer viable. "It's fine, we can do four in each and still be comfortable," she said, already fantasizing about car seat warmers.

"Raquel, come with us," Ágata said and drew her toward her and Bogotá. Raquel offered her a weak smile in return. She was not particularly looking forward to being subjected to their newly-engaged bliss but it was better than any other options. 

"Not so fast," said Andrés all of a sudden. Everyone turned to look at him.

" _Hermanito_ , I think there is something you need to reveal about the nature of this trip before anyone makes any arrangements," he said glibly, glancing at his brother who suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

For a moment Sergio said nothing, staring at the ground as if he either wished for it to swallow him up or more preferably, his brother. But soon he drew up to his full, rather imposing height (It was loathsome how tall he was, she hated rising to her tiptoes in order to argue with him) and began:

"The corporate has made some... team-building guidelines for this trip."

Everyone groaned. No one liked team building exercises, though they were pretty much given on a trip like this. It was not truly free, nothing was. The cost of it was merely their dignity. Who decided that forcing adults to play same games as children starting preschool somehow made them form mature working relationships?

But if she had a hot cup of cocoa in her hands while sitting in front of a fireplace by the end of the night, she could survive whatever Sergio wanted them to do right now. Trust falls? Two lies and a truth? She could manage both with only minor physical and/or mental damage. She just really, really wished whatever it was wouldn't take long because she was pretty sure she was turning into a human xylophone with how intensely her bones were rattling.

"What do you want us to do?" she asked, her breath steaming out of her lips. Sergio turned to look at her and stared at her for a disconcerting amount of time, looking almost apologetic before regaining his speech faculties.

"They want us to spend at least an hour a day with a person they have determined we should improve our relationship with. So that would mean Andrés and Silene, Ágata and Daniel and.... señora Murillo and I. 

A silence descended on the snowy parking lot as everyone stared at Sergio in stupefied horror. 

Raquel felt the sudden need to laugh as her initial urge to run into the woods never to be seen again faded. No wonder this was only revealed to them now. No one would have signed up for the trip if they had known beforehand. Silene and Andrés were more often planning to get each other fired than actually civilly working while Ágata had cited Daniel's laugh as one of the reason she had applied for migraine-induced sick leave. They would have rather paid out of their own pocket to be back at work than spend an hour with each other at a vacation.

No wonder Sergio had not wanted her to come to this trip. He must have known what was ahead for him and her. For once in her life, she should have listened to him.

She did not know what to feel about the fact that even corporate had recognize the animosity they had for each other. Sergio did not even try to conceal it, after all, she was the only employee he couldn't even stomach to call by her first name, but she had at least hoped she had presented herself better. So what if she every once in a while sketched comical pictures him into the margins of her meeting agendas and made drunken imitations of him at the company Christmas party? All that could have been seen as affectionate.

"Excuse me?! You want us to do what??" rang out the first protest and soon everyone else burst into cacophony of disgruntlement. Raquel remained silent, her mouth drawn into a taut line. She was determined not to voice her displeasure. She would not do that before him. That would mean losing a battle of sorts, and she wanted her suffering to be more dignified than his.

He tried to cut through the noise. "Hey, I don't like this either-"

_Ha, no kidding!_

"But we don't have an option. The corporate won't look kindly to us if we shirk from the one stipulation of this trip. I think it is better if do what my brother seemed to imply and just get it out of the way and spend an hour with our assigned person during the car trip."

"It is unfair Andrés doesn't have to do the same. Silene already left," Ágata huffed in frustration.

There was a brief, faint smile on Andrés' lips which made Raquel suspect Andrés had told Silene about the whole thing beforehand so she could sneak out and evade the punishment. She was starting to wish she had went with Silene after all.

"It is either this or you have to spend an hour with your designated companion at the cabin before you can do anything else. That means you, Andrés," Sergio warned and the smile quickly disappeared from his brother's face. 

People came to the conclusion that this was a more preferable fate to suffering at the cabin and organized the carpools accordingly. Unfortunately, this meant that Raquel would have to spend an hour or two in the car with Sergio, Andrés and his husband who she now knew was called Martín. If she had compiled a bingo sheet of everything she thought least likely to happen on this trip, she would surely win just by climbing into the car with these three. 

Still, it was better than sitting in silence with Sergio for an hour. She knew he would have nothing to say to him, and she would comply by not uttering a word to him in return. An hour long staring game she would surely win. At least in the car she could look at the scenery instead of counting his eyelashes.

Her mood was dark as they started packing the car with their luggage. It was not helped by the sheer futility of trying to pull her wheeled duffel after her in these conditions. The snow clumped around its wheels, crippling its mobility so that Raquel ended up trying (and failing) to haul dead weight with one hand.

She halted for a moment to ponder an Archimedean lever sort of solution to get the suitcase to the trunk of the car when something wholly unexpected happened. Sergio stopped by her side, and without a word, took the grip of her suitcase from her hand. A small gasp tumbled from her lips as she felt his fingers brush against her in the process. 

The sensation was surprisingly unsettling. She felt suddenly wobbly all over but acted quickly to hide it and directed her attention to what the hell Sergio was doing instead.

He did not even do as much as look at her. He simply lifted the piece of luggage in the air and placed it carefully into the trunk of the car. The whole time he had an absent look in his eyes as if he was working in automation. Only when he turned and saw Raquel gawking at him with her wide brown eyes did some sort of awareness flash in his gaze. He looked around him and saw that the others had stopped what they were doing and were now staring at him in amused fashion. They must have never thought they would see it with their own eyes - Sergio Marquina helping Raquel Murillo with her luggage. 

Something almost akin to panic then crossed his face. He quickly turned to approach Martín and Andrés, reaching for their luggage. Martín yanked his bag away from Sergio, shooting him a confused glare while Andrés declined the help too, eyeing Sergio suspiciously as any brother would. After all, courtesy like this between siblings usually involved some sort of a gross substance Andrés might fear Sergio would smear all over his bag.

But Raquel knew better. This had been some sort of an act of psychological warfare Sergio was trying to mask by offering to help the others as well. The only problem was that Raquel was not quite sure what he was trying to achieve with it. Was he trying to make her look weak in front of the others? Was he trying to pretend to be nice to her only to put her off her guard? There was no definite answer but she had to stay alert in any case.

There was a squabble about who would drive that was quickly resolved after Raquel sternly announced she would hitchhike if the men wouldn't come to a decision soon. Andrés would take the wheel with his husband by his side and Sergio would sit in the back seat with Raquel.

When she climbed in, there was already a large bag placed between them in the middle seat like a barricade. She took offense. It was as if he thought that without it, Raquel would want to sit buttock to buttock with him. She almost wanted to sit in his lap in retaliation just to see what his face would look like before realizing she had taken her bag inside for the very same purpose as Sergio. 

Lord, Sergio really brought forth her immature side. She really hoped she wouldn't regress into some preschool version of herself by the end of these two weeks.

They set off around 45 minutes behind schedule. Less than two kilometers from the airport, Andrés and his husband already started arguing about what direction to take. Raquel swallowed down a sigh and closed her eyes. She was determined to take a nap so time would move as fast as possible.

An undetermined time later, she stirred. Andrés and Martín were no longer bickering and it was pleasantly silent. The snowy trees flashing past them were beautiful, and she felt drowsily comfortable. She was huddled in a nice, warm blanket she must have unconsciously drawn over herself while she had been asleep. That had truly been a perfect nap.

"Are we soon there?" she asked sleepily.

"Still around 100 kilometers to go."

Well, _almost_ perfect.

Raquel thought about going back to sleep but there was something about the mirthful look in Andrés' eyes in the rear view mirror that made her unable to relax again.

"So... _hermanito_ ," he drawled, the tone instantly sending Sergio to fight or flight mode by the looks of it. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him sit up sharply.

"You and Raquel are the only single people on this trip."

Oh lord, she hoped this wasn't going where she thought it was going. In an instant, her cheeks were engulfed in flames. She directed all her attention to her cuticles like their condition was the most riveting thing in the whole world.

"Two lonely souls on a romantic winter getaway..." he continued with a wistful voice.

"Andrés," interrupted Martín with a warning tone. "If you are planning to get yourself fired I would prefer it to be during the last day. I really need this vacation."

"I am simply saying that love is a wonderful thing, and I hope both of them find someone during this trip. Not everyone is as lucky as we are," he said with a honeyed voice which seemed to appease Martín.

A silence fell upon them again, but Raquel did not trust it to last one bit. And just as she had expected, it was soon shattered by Andrés' final addition.

"Nothing would delight be more than seeing you two crazy kids make up on this trip. And who knows, perhaps you will find that special someone in the progress."

As Raquel contemplated the pros and cons of jumping out of a moving car, Andrés phone screen lit up with a new message in the little holster he had put it in next to the wheel. But instead of reading it, he addressed his husband.

"Could you read that aloud for me? Safety first."

Martín rolled his eyes but took the phone anyway and read the text aloud.

"It is from your brother. 'Shut the fuck up,' it reads," he announced unceremoniously.

Andrés tsk-tsked at this. "Oh Sergio, you wound me."

"Might I remind you that I just need to make one phone call to eradicate your position?" Sergio said, pale, looking very much like he wanted to reach out and throttle his brother from behind. Oh boy, he really didn't want to be associated with Raquel in that manner. If her feelings toward them both weren't murderous right now, she might have commended Andrés for finding that special sore spot to torture his brother. The ultimate victory when it came to sibling relations.

"Alright, alright. I just wanted to throw what we all had to be thinking out there."

Sergio balked. "What— None of us has ever—"

"Oh dear god, why are we still even talking about this?" Raquel interrupted with a shrill voice, holding her hands at her temples like trying to keep her head from exploding. "Sergio, your brother is just messing with you. Stop giving him ammunition. And if it gives you any comfort, you are the very last man in the _world_ I would think about in that manner! So. Rest. Easy."

Her last words echoed in the car for an uncomfortable amount of time. The following silence was beyond awkward. Martín was glaring at his husband, Andrés had directed every ounce of his concentration onto the road and Sergio was staring in front of him with unfocused eyes.

For a moment, Raquel wondered whether she had been too harsh with him. There was a twinge of guilt rolling in her guts. 

This feeling lasted for quite a while up until the moment they stopped at a gas station for a toilet break. As she was making her way back to the car, someone materialized behind her.

"I know," Sergio whispered in a barely audible voice, startling her. She turned and saw him standing there, a grim look on his face. However, there were snowflakes stuck to his dark hair which significantly worked against his imposingness. 

"What do you mean?" Raquel asked, despite the fact that she knew perfectly well what he was referring to.

"I just wanted to say that I know what you think of me," he said hoarsely. Then something that resembled uncertainty flashed in his eyes, but it was gone as quick as it had come. "And that I.... feel the same way."

"Oh, you have certainly made that clear," she scoffed.

This was the first time they had stated it aloud. They hated each other. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about it being out there in the open. It certainly wouldn't make this trip any easier, that was for sure.

Sergio was silent for a long while, looking at her with an indescribable expression on his face before offering her his simple, weak answer.

"Good."

He then turned away from her and walked off, leaving Raquel staring after him with a strangely rueful feeling at the pit of her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Historically, the lowest temperature Kittilä has ever hit is -51,5 °C. I will give our dear characters some mercy though, I think Spaniards will be plenty uncomfortable in only -20 °C haha.
> 
> In the next chapter, Raquel will find out just who she will be sharing a room with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally supposed to reveal what had happened to Ángel in this one, but after my rewrite of one section in this chapter ended up unexpectedly long I had to move it to the next one. You will find out soon!

It had been snowing only a little while they had been driving, but now that they were fast approaching their destination, the little town of Kuusitunturi, all Raquel could see from the window was a flurry of white flakes that piled on the ground and trees that were already adorned by gleaming caps of snow.

She had never seen this much snow in her life. It was strangely beautiful. She felt like she was entering a whole new world where heaps and heaps of snow was such an integral part of the landscape that she and any other human was an intruder in this white kingdom.

Andrés was less impressed by it all, cursing at every single snowflake that smacked against the windshield which manifested as a nonstop stream of cussing.

"There better be some sort of a heat-radiating snow repellant machine by the cabin," he muttered as they swerved down to the right road. "I do not care for this white nuisance."

He couldn't have been more wrong. They were at the right address, but where there should have been a cabin was a giant pile of snow. Or so it seemed in the darkness. However, when the lights of the porch turned on they saw it was a pile of snow shaped like a cabin with the entrance and some windows barely in view. There was such a heavy layer of snow on top of the roof that it felt like the house was stooping under its weight.

"Your company certainly spared no expense. We are going to be living in an igloo," said Martín dryly.

"Maybe it will look better in daylight. If only the sun would rise soon..." muttered Daniel, studying an icicle hanging from the edge of the roof by standing directly underneath it.

"It already did," said Ágata as Mónica quickly pulled his husband away from certain death.

"Wait, what?"

"The sun rose and set while you were asleep in the car."

"You mean I slept the entire day?" asked Daniel, suddenly looking unsure whether the car trip had lasted for an hour or twelve hours.

"Daytime lasts here approximately... 45 minutes," said Martín, looking at his phone.

"45 MINUTES?!"

This gave rise to animated conversation which Raquel did not participate in. For once, she did not sink into the existential horror that their new arctic life elicited. She simply stood there, admiring their lodgings. It was a log cabin made out of reddish wood and it was actually kind of charming in its quaintness. So was the view from behind it: miles and miles of snow-covered forest and in the distance, the arctic mountain where the ski resort was located.

The cool air nipped at her cheeks as she stood in awe of the view. Snowflakes landed on her lashes and nose and she let out a small laugh. It was as if this place was determined to cover her in snow just like everything else all around them.

When she turned around again, she saw that Sergio was watching her. She probably looked ridiculous, but she did not care. She simply flashed him a defiant smile, caught a snowflake on her tongue and turned to walk farther away to appreciate the landscape.

She walked on until she could no longer sense his gaze on her which took surprisingly long.

* * *

By the time she got back, others had already settled into the cabin. Her cheeks had to be flaming red from the cold and her hair a snowflake-bedecked mess, but luckily no one was around as she finally stepped inside.

She suddenly recalled that her luggage must still be in the car, but at that very second she saw it placed near the doorway. Someone had kindly grabbed it for her. She would try to remember to thank Ágata later. She had probably been the one.

The cabin was bigger than she'd assumed looking at the outside. There was a rustic kitchen and a living room with a fireplace that was already gloriously ablaze, and bedrooms both in downstairs and upstairs. You could see down into the common room area from upstairs, but no one had noticed Raquel come in from there. Judging by all the noise, people were busy unpacking their stuff and arguing about who got the rooms closest to the bathrooms.

Raquel did not care where she stayed. She was only one person, they could give her the most cramped and awkwardly located room of the whole cabin and she wouldn't mind. All she wanted was a place to change into more comfortable clothes and take a proper nap lying down. 

The only room that did not seem to be occupied already was the one at the end of the hallway downstairs. She dragged her duffel bag there, opened the door and let it thud onto the floor. She was too tired to unpack it. 

There were two beds in the room pushed together to make a king-sized bed. A weary smile crossed her face as she looked at it. Perfect. 

The exhaustions of travel were starting to hit her and she wouldn't wait a second longer. She fell face-first into the bed like a body shot dead mid-air, laid there for a while before ripping the blanket off and crawling underneath it. Here she would hibernate until the end of the world.

"What do you think you are doing?" asked a steely voice, startling her out of the slumberland she had sunk into in less than a second. But in that fraction of a second, she had already forgotten where she was.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" she cried out and scrambled back from underneath the covers like a fish that had been caught in a net. For one terrifying moment she thought was going to get axe-murdered right there and then until she remembered. She was in a cabin with her coworkers. The only way she was going to get axe-murdered was if she reminded their supervisor of that joint report they were supposed to send out before leaving.

When her senses sharpened again, she recognized who was standing at the doorway with an austere expression on his face.

"Sergio! What are you doing in my room?" Raquel asked, pursing the blanket against her chest like a scandalized Victorian lady even though she was fully dressed. 

"What do you mean _your_ room?"

Jesus, she was too tired to argue over rooming with Sergio out of all things. It really did not matter where she slept, but it was a dick move for him to expect her to haul her ass out just because he wanted this room.

"That is my bag right there," she said, pointing at her wheeled duffel bag by the door. Just then, she saw another partly opened suitcase right next to it, one she had not seen before. "Oh."

"Did my brother put you up to this?" Sergio asked with an almost grief-stricken expression, looking at her and the covers she was holding onto like she was carrying black plague and was determined to smear it into as many bedclothes as humanly possible.

"No, of course not," Raquel scoffed, not understanding what Andrés would possibly have to do with her mistaking this room as unoccupied. "I thought there was no one staying in this room. As hard as it might be to believe, I am not making your life more difficult on purpose."

She awkwardly rose from the bed as Sergio looked like he was making rapid calculations in his head about something. 

"I am just going to find myself another one. Upstairs maybe."

"The two rooms upstairs are taken by Daniel and his wife and by my brother and his husband," Sergio said, some dreadful realization dawning on his face.

"How about downstairs?" Raquel asked, that same terror slowly taking over her too.

"There are three rooms. Silene is sharing the first one with her boyfriend, Ágata and Bogotá have the second room and this third one..." he said, his voice slowly fading away as the words became too painful to utter out loud.

_Oh, you got to be kidding me._

For a moment they stared at each other as their brains processed the cruelty of their fate.

"No, no, I am not doing it," she said, backing away from him and perhaps more pressingly, from the bed. "They cannot force us to stay together. I am a woman and you- you are a man!"

This was probably the first time Raquel had ever acknowledged aloud that Sergio was a gendered being, and the realization made her uncomfortable. She did not want to think of him as a man who did male things and had male parts underneath his clothes, and she certainly did not want to think about his masculinity in relation to her own feminity, but now she was forced to, and she felt like she would combust into atoms if he came even a millimeter closer.

"There must have been a mix-up. You were supposed to share a room with Ágata but she brought in a plus one at the last minute." Sergio's face hardened. This is why you need to respect the form!"

"If the intention was for me to share a room with her, then I will share a room with her," Raquel said stubbornly and marched off the room without sparing one last look at Sergio. 

This yielded no results. Ágata was not willing to part from her new fiance and was puzzled why Raquel couldn't just stay with Sergio. They were both adults and it was not like they were forced to share one bed, they could just pull those two beds apart.

"I know you might not see him that way, but he is actually very gentlemanlike. He is not going to jump your bones in the middle of the night if that is what you are afraid of," Ágata attempted to comfort. 

Raquel could have done very well without that mental image. Her stomach did a disconcerting somersault and she felt the sudden urge to quit at the spot and walk home so that she would never have to look him in the eye again.

"Oh god, that is the furthest thing I was worried about," she stammered out. "It's just- it's _Sergio_!"

"I have had worse roommates during university. Who knows, maybe this will bring you two closer!"

That was sympathetic as Ágata could be to her plight. She tried to talk to the others about her situation, but she gave up after telling Andrés and making him laugh so hard his husband had to repeatedly slap his back in order to get him to breathe normally again. Her colleagues would be of no help to her.

When she returned to the room, Sergio was gathering up his few belongings with military precision. His clothes from the closet were neatly folded back into his suitcase. It was so systematic that it mesmerized Raquel for a moment, but soon enough she woke up from her trance and confronted him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," he answered calmly as if the matter had already been decided.

"Don't be ridiculous. You'll be up all night when Daniel runs back and forth between the toilet and his room."

That did not deter Sergio. He continued packing, his mouth stuck in a grimace.

"You already.... scented up the beds. I can't sleep here."

Raquel looked at him incredulously.

"Are you telling me that I _stink_?"

Sergio shook his head with a pained expression on his face but left his answer at that. Raquel scoffed and walked over to the bed to slam his suitcase shut.

"You are not going to spend two weeks on a couch. We are going to find a solution for this like two adults."

Sergio looked at him with thin-stretched patience. "The only other solution is that I stay. Tell me, señora Murillo, do you really want to spend two weeks sleeping in the same room with me?"

Again with the señora Murillo. Raquel was going to one day whack him for that.

Her answer was frosty. "Honestly? No."

"Thought so," he said darkly, opened up his suitcase and resumed packing.

"But why does that mean you automatically have to sacrifice your comfort? Why don't you make me sleep on the couch?" she said, slamming his suitcase shut once again. "Is it because I am a woman?"

"No, it's because you are... _you_ ," he sighed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" her brain was steaming as she searched for the hidden insult.

"It means that I am sleeping on the couch. Enjoy the room."

He quickly stuffed the rest of his stuff into his bag and stalked out of the room. Raquel followed right at his tail, taking her luggage with her. She wouldn't let him win this easily.

Before he could make it to the living room, she skittered past him and leaped onto the couch. She then set her luggage down onto the floor, planted her ass onto the cushion, crossed her arms and stared at him challengingly. The message was clear as day. _I am taking the couch and you cannot do anything about it._

She really did not want to ruin her back by sleeping here, but it was a matter of principle now. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of martyrizing himself.

Sergio looked at her like he was considering just picking her up and carrying her back to the room like a ragdoll, but eventually decided against it. He utilized a different tactic, beautiful in its simplicity. He sat down at the other end of the couch and crossed his arms. He wouldn't budge either.

This was like a staring match but with higher stakes. Raquel was glad to take on the challenge.

* * *

After an hour or so, Raquel was starting to come the realization that Sergio really wasn't going to give up anytime soon. He had picked up a book from his bag and was now reading it like Raquel did not even exist. Others that walked past the living room and saw them sitting together smiled like it was adorable that they were spending time together. Raquel wished they could see that this was cold-blooded war, not some cute moment of bonding.

It was time to switch tactics. She stared at her duffel bag, an idea worming its way to her brain. It was a risque one, but the only one she could see plausibly working.

So she zipped her back open and delved into its contents. Sergio soon cast a curious glance at her.

"Are you giving up?"

"No," Raquel said sweetly, lifting a soft sweater into his view. "I'm simply changing into something more comfortable."

Her wide-eyed companion gaped at her as Raquel started slowly unbuttoning her cardigan.

"This is the living room. People- people can see you," he stammered out, mostly referring to himself if Raquel had to guess.

"I am aware, and that is the reality I have to accept now that I am staying here," Raquel said and drew the cardigan off her. 

Next up was the shirt underneath. Raquel grabbed at it by the hem and looked at Sergio. _Yes, I am really going to do this._

With only a tiny nervous flicker inside her making her heart beat fast, she slowly pulled it off her.

She was now only in her bra, feeling a strange thrill in her stomach. She turned to look at Sergio, but to her disappointment, the man had closed his eyes and turned his face away.

_Coward._

Next went her jeans and she made sure to unzip them as loudly as she could. But Sergio did not react, though she could have sworn his fist had clenched for a fraction of a second. 

Just as she kicked the garment off her legs, she heard a door opening upstairs. Martín walked out, looked down, saw Raquel sitting in her bra and pantyhose on the couch next to Sergio who was keeping his eyes shut like his life depended on it, looked back up, turned on his heel and walked back inside his room. She would have some explaining to do later. But for the time being she would focus on Sergio and only Sergio.

She put on the sweater and drew on a pair of slacks before Silene could see her in this state (that would be like diving into shark-infested waters while bleeding). Raquel sighed. That had been such a good strategy in her head based on how he'd reacted the time she'd worn a yoga top to work. He was clearly determined to make this very hard for her.

Raquel yawned. She really needed a nap, but she couldn't do anything about that as long as she was competing with Sergio.

Or could she?

Another idea struck her. If she pursued it, she wouldn't be technically doing anything wrong. This couch was where she had to sleep after all.

Sergio still had his eyes shut as she grabbed the nearest throw pillow, but they flew open as she proceeded to drop it in his lap.

"What are you-"

He did not have time to finish his sentence before Raquel had brought her idea to its conclusion and lay down, placing her head on the pillow.

He stayed deathly silent for a moment, staring at Raquel who was staring back at him with her head resting essentially on his lap. It felt funny to be so close to him, but Raquel would progress all the strange sensations this had elicited later when she had clinched victory.

"-doing?" he was able to choke out after the longest time.

"I'm taking a nap on my bed. I'd appreciate it if you went to your own room to give me some peace and quiet," she murmured and closed her eyes.

Sergio remained still for a good while, making her think that he was nowhere near giving up, but when she shifted a little to assume a better position, his resolve unraveled like a ball of yarn.

He pushed Raquel away and scrambled up with the speed of someone who had accidentally sat on a burning hot stove.

Without saying a word, he scurried to the hallway and grabbed his coat. He then opened the door, and within seconds, he was gone. The sound of the door slamming behind him echoed in the room uncomfortably loudly.

Raquel rose up, bewildered by the suddenness of everything that had just happened.

_Had she won?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The town of Kuusitunturi is fictional and located in the "arm" of Finland. It is modelled after Saariselkä that is in Eastern Lapland, but Kuusitunturi is a bit smaller. You will learn more about it in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for skipping an update day! That day I had the most awful migraine and I could barely even lift my head. There was no way I was getting this chapter out. Then yesterday I decided it was better to post early today to get back into the rhythm of posting on odd-numbered days. This also gave me time to work on the next chapters in advance. I hope you understand.

When he still hadn't come back after two hours, Raquel started to wonder. Not worry per se, she just felt... slightly discontented. It was hard not to take this as a sign she had crossed a line of sorts. It wasn't exactly condemned in the company policy, but taking a nap on your boss wasn't exactly something that was going to win her the employee of the month award.

"I am sure he is fine," Mónica said with such sweetness and sympathy that Raquel felt her cheeks burn. She had immediately guessed who she had been thinking about which she did not feel exactly proud of.

"It has stopped snowing. At least the body will be easy to find," Martín said dryly, looking up at Raquel from the game of uno he had set up with Silene with the probable intention of luring his husband to join so that he'd fill up the time spent with Silene quota. This far, Andrés did not seem too interested and Martín was holding what had to be over 30 cards in his hand.

"Cariño, this is no time for jokes," said Andrés next to him in a low voice, smiling. "She is clearly worried about my brother."

"I am not wor...," Raquel began, but stopped with a sigh. What did it matter? Sergio was out there somewhere and whether she was worried or not was not the biggest issue here.

Not soon later Silene seemed to win the game, judging by Martín's sudden desire to slam his cards onto the floor and storm off. Raquel used the following silence to announce her plan.

"I think I might go looking for him."

"We should all go, we all certainly need to cool down a little," Silene said with a smile, addressing her words to Martín who seemed to have locked himself into the bathroom.

"That is a great idea, we can check out the town. Maybe get something to eat."

"I could use a drink, Ágata said with an absent, long-suffering look on her face.

Everyone started putting on their clothes and even Martín was persuaded to leave the bathroom and join them. Raquel watched in dread as everyone took the longest time possible to get ready, during which Sergio could have already fallen down a ravine or got hit by a car (Why is she even thinking about this stuff?). 

"No, this is not some fun outing, we need to see where he has gone to!" she exclaimed.

"Raquel," said Andrés uncharacteristically softly, laying a hand on her shoulder. "My brother is not stupid. He hasn't gone wandering alone into the woods. Most likely he is in a town, nursing a pint somewhere and sulking. We will find him there, and I will tell him how fretful you were which ought to warm his hard little heart."

"No, you will tell him no such thing," she said, brushing off his hand. "When we find him, I am gonna tell him myself how much of an ass he was, disappearing like that."

Andrés shrugged. "I just thought it would clear out some things for him, but suit yourself."

With that cryptic sentence left hanging in the air, he simply grabbed his jacket and tugged it on, smirking at her in his usual unfathomable manner.

"Hurry up now. We want to get to him before the wolves do, don't we?"

* * *

As loath it was to agree with Andrés, Raquel had to acknowledge that the town was the most plausible place to find Sergio. So she tagged along, purely as a precaution as their Spanish caravan meandered to the town of Kuusitunturi.

The outskirts of it was littered with snug little cabins, their windows lit like candles in the snowy darkness. As they walked on, the buildings started to look more urban but they never reached more than two stories. The small spa hotel with whopping three stories thus marked the very heart of Kuusitunturi around which everything else of importance was situated. There was a pub, a somewhat fancy restaurant, a small hamburger joint and several agencies advertising everything from reindeer rides to Northern Light tours. Finally, there were some souvenir shops where they sold handcrafted jewellery and decorative items made by the indigenous Sami people, a concerning amount of knifes and absolutely anything reindeer.

As fascinated as the others were about all this, their disappointment was clear on their face. This was no Swiss Alps.

"You know, in some places you can ski inside a shopping mall," Ágata said wistfully.

"But can you see Northern Lights there?" asked Daniel who was staring at the sky with gleaming eyes. "Do you think we'll see any tonight?"

"Not through all these clouds, we won't."

"Oh. I thought…"

"What did you think?"

"I don't know, that they were like fireworks? They are visible regardless if it is cloudy or clear.

"And who exactly would set them off?" Martín prompted with a sense of bored amusement.

"You know what? I haven't thought about it," Daniel said and burst into laughter.

"Please, let's just get something to eat before my head explodes," Ágata said, holding her temples.

They ended up picking the burger joint called Poro's as their destination. There they took up one huge table a with a view to a statue of a reindeer in the middle of the plaza. It was one of the few attractions of the place.

"This town is really big on reindeer, huh?" Bogotá said, nodding at the statue in the window while shoving the burger they had all ordered into his face like he was running against time.

"Yeah, I think even this burger was called was called 'reindeer special'," Silene noted with a chuckle.

They munched at their meals in companionable silence for a moment.

"Hey guys?" spoke up Ágata, suddenly looking doubtfully at her burger.

"Hmm?

"You don't think that… because it was called Reindeer special… it could mean that…"

"No, of course not!" they all insisted in unison.

But the suspicion had been instilled and their appetite had dwindled. Soon, one of them felt the need to approach the cook who, regrettably, confirmed what they all feared.

In the end, Daniel had been the only one who had not been able to come to terms with what they had just eaten, and he stooped over to try and retch into the nearest snowy bush at regular intervals as they continued their search of Sergio.

"Is everything alright, Raquel? You look like something is troubling you." asked Mónica with a worried head tilt.

"Still thinking about Sergio and this whole rooming business," Raquel said, tossing the wrapper of their little reindeer surprise into the bin. Reindeer or not, she had been starving and had finished the whole thing while others had fled the joint. She would pray Rudolf the Red-nosed reindeer for forgiveness later. 

"I think we can arrange something if you feel truly that strongly about it. If you feel unsafe with him…"

Raquel shook her head instantaneously at that.

What a ridiculous thought, feeling unsafe with Sergio. It was like fearing the rain. Sure, it was an annoying thing when it disrupted an otherwise beautiful day and she'd rather not get drenched by it, but it was a part of nature and there was no sense in fearing it. Just like Sergio was a part of her life.

And what she had with Sergio was comfortable in a way. She had never been able to bicker with her colleagues in the force like this without it leading to some ugly places. Still, without him her life would be much healthier. The only thing he was endangering was her blood pressure.

"Believe me, if I was in any way scared of him I wouldn't be able to hash it out to him as good as he gives me," she said simply and Mónica nodded, understanding.

"I have only been scared of him once," muttered Ágata.

Raquel's eyebrow leaped up. "When was that?"

Ágata looked around them conspiratorially, making sure the men were not in earshot. "You know, when I saw him with Ángel," she finally answered with a low voice.

_Ángel._

Raquel shrunk a little at the mention of that name.

Not only had been a sort of an ally at work for Raquel (if you ignored his massive and uncomfortable crush on her), he was also the reason she had to keep herself in check around Sergio. One day, he might finally get enough of her and sent her packing like Ángel. And it wouldn't be pretty.

She had not been there when everything had escalated, so what she knew about the lunch room incident was through second hand sources. The people who had been there to witness the whole thing knew the story by heart, but some details were still fuzzy. No one but Sergio or Ángel could fill them, and Raquel had not spoken to the latter since he'd left.

It had been just an ordinary day. Ángel was in the lunch room, leaning against the counter and sipping his usual gargantuan cup of coffee while Ágata and Silene had been nursing their lunches in a bored silence. That was when Sergio had walked in, in an even sourer mood than usual and Ángel had made the unwise decision of engaging him in a conversation. Only little of their talk had been overheard as neither Silene or Ágata had paid much attention, but it seemed to be a good-natured one on Ángel's side, concerning weekend plans. Sergio had given one worded answers while microwaving his meal. Ágata then remembered Ángel asking something unusual, something so out of place that it had to be code for something else. She couldn't recall exactly what expression had been used but it had been somehow related to groceries and that it had been bizarre. Sergio had given him a glare and that seemed to have been the end of the discussion.

But then Ángel had uttered a single sentence that had sealed his fate. That both Silene and Ágata could remember.

"Perhaps if the milk bottle wasn't so dented..."

And that was when Sergio had snapped.

In an instant, his face had gone from his usual irritability to pale with anger. The girls had described him as having had practically dragged Ángel out of the room. Strong words had been exchanged. Sergio had made it abundantly clear that he was fired, effective on the spot. In fact, he had shouted it. Raquel had only seen them for the first time when Sergio had followed Ángel to his desk and watched him pack. He had looked truly frightening then. The whole time, he had counted down the seconds as Ángel gathered his things. This had riled the man up to the extent where he'd almost took a swing at Sergio. That was when security had been called and Ángel had been escorted out of the building after nearly ten years of working there.

It was the only time she had seen Sergio act truly ruthless. Firing a man with family just like that. Only because of some good-natured, if weird conversation. That kind of cold-bloodedness must be hiding and simmering beneath the surface at all times. Perhaps she had to be more scared of him. It was only a matter of time before he would unleash it on her.

She really, really hoped she wasn't going to get fired today.

* * *

In the end, Sergio was nowhere to be found in the town. That was when Andrés was forced to give him a call and see whether he would give him any clue about his whereabouts. But no one picked up.

The group returned back to the cabin with mixed feelings about the fact that their boss might have been gobbled up by wolves or bears or perhaps even reindeer, as a sort of retaliation. Raquel spent the rest of the night with remorse hanging over her heart. Why did she had to always push his buttons so hard? Even if he was safe and sound, it did not mean good he had stayed away so long. He was truly mad and no wonder, she had essentially put on a strip tease show for him. And wasn't what she had done at the end sort of a lap dance?

Oh god, she was turning into Silene.

She was forced to contemplate all this on a steely couch that no human was clearly meant to sleep on, in a room that was quite possibly the draftiest place in the whole universe. All the while the perfectly warm and comfortable room at the end of the hallway remained empty.

It was such a waste to leave it unused for the night. Sergio didn't seem to be coming back - perhaps he had been affronted enough to leave the country - and Raquel was a good person who deserved a nice place to sleep. She wasn't quite sure why she had even fought so hard for the couch in the first place when the room was clearly the jackpot in this situation. But then Sergio had pulled that whole gentleman schtick...

She really needed to stop basing her decisions on what would annoy Sergio the most at any given moment.

In the end, she tiptoed to the room with her bag like a defeated little wimp. She made some accommodations in case Sergio returned, turned the radiator to its highest setting and finally, buried herself under not one, not two, but three blankets. Her warm Spanish blood (not helped by her very unwise choice of pyjamas) necessitated this. She really wanted to survive her first night here.

She wasn't allowed to get too comfortable before there was a knock on the door. Reluctantly she left her nest, wrapping a robe around her in case it was Silene and walked to the door.

Behind it appeared none other than the grim face of Sergio Marquina.

He looked like he had been dragged through hell backwards but that hardly mattered. He was safe and in one piece.

She flashed him a genuine, radiant smile. She was so overcome with relief for a moment that she did not realize she was standing in front of him with a very sloppily tied robe that hid underneath a cute, lace-edged top with matching itty-bitty sleeping shorts (in her defense, Ágata had filled her head with exotic handsome Viking men who she wouldn't want to showcase her regular threadbare pyjamas to, and no one had warned her just how cold it would be here!).

She hastily tightened the sash around her robe and focused on the man in front of her, tempering the delight in seeing him so it wouldn't radiate off her face.

"Where have you been?"

"Out," he said brusquely, brushing past her. "I am just here for my luggage. It's no longer where I left it, and I see that you have given up and taken the room so I am just gonna grab it and head to the couch-"

"No, I specifically took it here. Look," Raquel said, gesturing to the bed on top of which the suitcase was neatly placed. 

"I even changed the sheets. No trace of me, no harm done," she said, patting at the bed before realizing the reason she had been forced to change the sheets was because she had touched them in the first place. She quickly withdrew her hand.

Sergio's gaze drifted to Raquel's bed which she had pushed as far away from his as she had been able. His face twisted in a strange way.

"That was completely unnecessary. I am sleeping on the couch."

Raquel bit her lip. Lord, it was hard being nice to him at times. 

"You are not sleeping on the couch. No one is. It is rock-hard and you will freeze to death. Surely, you don't hate me so much that you'd be willing to suffer two weeks on that torture device?"

Sergio said nothing to that, just looked at her blankly which suggested that he did, indeed, hate her enough to do that. Raquel inwardly sighed.

"I told your brother to hose you with cold water if he caught you sleeping there. He was more than glad to."

This was a blatant lie, but did succeed in causing Sergio's shoulders to slump as he realized resistance was futile.

He looked at his bed, then at Raquel's, then back at his own as if mentally measuring the distance between them. He seemed to find it adequate in the end because he walked over to his suitcase and started unpacking it.

"I will sleep here, but only if you let me set some ground rules first," he said while methodically seperating his clothing.

"Alright," Raquel said, crossing her arms.

"First rule. You will not do what you did earlier today _ever_ again."

She nodded, a prick of guilt in her chest. "I'm sorry if I-"

"Second rule. You will never talk about what happened. This includes apologies."

She frowned. "If you say so."

"Third rule. You will stay two meters from me at all times."

"What if I have to hand you something? Do I just throw it like a baseball? Because I have seen how you perform at sports and-"

"Fourth rule. Don't be a smart ass," he growled, slamming his suitcase shut. 

Raquel rolled her eyes, biting back her stinging reply to that.

"Fifth rule. The only allowed topics of conversation are work, the weather...," he paused as if to think of something as banal as possible. "...The grammar of Mandarin Chinese and road maintenance in Northern Spain."

"What if I want to talk religion and politics in Mandarin? Would that be allowed?" Raquel asked sweetly.

"Now you are being a smart ass," he said darkly, taking a step closer to her. "What did I say about being a smart ass?"

Raquel found herself taking a step back as Sergio approached her, letting him back her against the wall. She had a cheeky comment prepared, but it died on her tongue as she saw the look in his eyes. It was like staring into an open hatch of a furnace.

He truly looked like he wanted to put his hands on her.

She swallowed, but that simple motion forced her to come into terms with the fact that she was actually intimated by him. There was nothing more loathsome than that thought, but the truth was what it was. Sergio Marquina was very well capable of being as imposing and powerful as he wanted.

She pushed that feeling quickly away though, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes with her own fiery gaze. "You might have mentioned something about it in your long litany of rules. But I have my own for you."

"Which are?"

"There is only one. You don't get to tell me what to do. But I also strongly recommend that you interact with me as little as humanly possible."

"That is all I want," he rasped out.

"Good."

"Good."

That said, he turned away from her, and at last, Raquel exhaled. She had been strangely breathless throughout the whole thing.

Feeling a sudden urge to give her hands something to do, Raquel started to fiddle with her own closet. This also gave her a good excuse to keep her head firmly turned away from him as she started hearing the sounds of undressing. The whole thing made her skin feel uncomfortably hot and the garments she was absently sorting almost slipped out of her hands as the result.

She still had that damn robe around her. Why had she even cared about Sergio seeing her in her pyjamas? There was no way he would leer at her, the very opposite in fact. 

She let the robe billow around her feet. If he found her the most repugnant being in the universe, that was his problem. Raquel would wear what she wanted. Hopefully the sight of her skin would burn him to a crisp.

After making sure Sergio had gotten a good look of her pyjama-clad body, she climbed onto her bed and turned her back to him, determined to ignore his presence.

* * *

Neither of them slept a wink that night, too aware of every sound and movement the other made.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a little longer than usual! Had an insanely busy day and tomorrow will be more of the same. Will try to get to your comments as soon as possible. So glad and amazed to see all the love for the story here and on twitter :)
> 
> Enjoy!

There was no better way to start a new day than have one of Bach's symphonies lambasting in your ear at the highest volume. 

_Was she in purgatory?_ she wondered for a moment as the music roared, every part of her body stiff and lethargic after a sleepless night.

She opened her rheum-filled eyes, rotated her head slowly and saw that the source of the ungodly noise was the laptop Sergio had put up on the cabinet. He himself was already up and combing his hair in front of the mirror. It looked like he wasn't going to let Raquel's presence disrupt his morning routine of rising at cockcrow and blasting classical music until the ears of everyone around him curled up and died.

She half-expected him to be wearing his usual professor-esque suit with patched elbows. But when he turned and she could see him better, she saw that he was wearing a sweater. A sweater on Sergio Marquina!

It was as bizarre as seeing Alberto ballet dancing. She stared at him for far longer than she was proud of. Did he have a mother that knitted him sweaters?

That was a far too humanizing thing to think about Sergio. She turned her head away and waited until he left the room. Only then did she dare to rise from the bed. She had changed her mind about how comfortable she was letting Sergio see her in her ridiculous pyjamas. What if he thought she had taken them with her because she thought she was going to spend a night with some vacation fling?

Well, she had taken them for that exact purpose, but she did not want him thinking that. Or seeing them. It was only meant for the eyes of hot vikings and no one else.

The very first thing she did was to turn the music off. It was coming from a 50-hour playlist titled 'Tunes for a fruitful mindset.' It was created by an user called 'ThePr0fessor' who could be no other than Sergio.

 _Professor_? She grinned. Dear god, he was going to regret leaving his computer open and letting her see that. He had just given her years of ammunition.

She resisted the urge to check his watch history on YouTube (100 fun facts about your favorite email management software? How to hide the fact that you're an alien: a beginner's tutorial?) and grabbed her towel. Luckily it was so early no one else would be up yet and thus wouldn't have the chance to look at her pyjamas. She wasn't 100% sure Silene's head wouldn't explode at the spot, so she better not take the risk.

But something from the corner of her eye caught her interest before she managed to step through the door. 

Sergio had laid on his bed a neatly folded pile of clothes. On closer inspection, they turned out to be his pyjamas. 

If Raquel had grinned while looking at his YouTube account, now she was beaming like the sun itself while sifting through the fabric with her fingers. These were the pyjamas of a grandpa. Or a librarian. He slept like a 80-year old librarian. This was so much better than she had expected. 

But what _had_ she expected?

The image of Sergio sleeping in his boxers crossed her mind, and she suddenly found her airways shrinking. She stopped caressing the clothes Sergio had slept in and took a step back, her skin burning. This was just proof that she'd had far too little sleep. It was making her do and think weird things.

She took a quick shower and dressed even quicker, feeling strangely flustered and unwilling to spend any more time naked and vulnerable than necessary. Luckily no one walked in while she was changing and she was able to shuffle into clean clothes in record time.

When she stepped out of her room again, she could hear voices coming from the kitchen. She could have sworn her name was mentioned. She slowed her pace down to a creep and proceeded with caution in order to hear what was being said.

"If I didn't know any better I would think she was doing this on purpose," said Sergio's voice.

"Torturing you?" asked a sleepy male voice. Raquel soon realized it was Andrés'.

"Yes! Torturing me, punishing me, I don't know. Whatever it is, it pierces my soul. God, I shouldn't have come. I should have followed my gut instinct when I saw she had signed up."

"Did you really wake me up at this ungodly hour just so you can bitch about her?" Andrés yawned. "You know what I think already."

Raquel pursed her hand into a fist. So this was why Sergio had played classical music. He didn't want her to overhear him talking shit about her to his brother. That bastard.

 _Torture? Punish? Pierce his soul?_ He sure was poetic with his hatred of her. Made one wonder what vigor he had left to describe a woman he loved. Probably none which was why he was still single.

She sprang to their view, petrifying Sergio and making Andrés choke on his coffee.

"I wasn't exactly pleased about you coming here either, but at least I have the courtesy to say it to your face," she spat out.

With her head thrown back, she marched back to her room.

She only heard one more thing before slamming the door shut behind her.

"On the bright side, there is no way you can make her like you even less than she already does, hermanito."

* * *

She seethed in her room until the sun rose and the others took it as a sign it was a humane enough time to get up. When she started hearing others pouring into the common area and there was no longer any danger of ending up alone with Sergio, she opened the door and joined them. About time, she was dying for some coffee. 

She did not lay a single look at him as she prepared herself a cup, and neither did he. Good. This arctic silence and refusal to acknowledge each other's presence was just the way she preferred it. 

From the windows they could see it was overcast, and Daniel reacted the same way to the news as a kid would to the cancellation of Christmas.

"Don't worry, I am sure the sky will clear tomorrow and will see the Northern Lights," Mónica comforted her husband.

Martín, looking up from the weather app on his phone shook his head to the rest of the group.

"Turn those frowns upside down. This is as fine as day as any to go skiing," Andrés exclaimed and smacked his ski equipment on the living room table like it was a kill he had dragged from the forest. He seemed to have come prepared with the finest set you could find in Madrid. Raquel would probably have take a second mortgage to afford it.

"Right. The corporate does want us to do some skiing together," Sergio piped up, brightening up at his favorite subject; pleasing his superiors. "They think it an excellent team building activity."

"I suppose that could be fun," Ágata pondered and others agreed with increasing excitement.

"But remember, we need to spend at least an hour in our designated pairs."

The excitement about the activity petered out palpably.

This was the first time Raquel and Sergio met each other's eyes. Her eyes were hard. She wasn't going to spend one second with him. 

_Very well,_ Sergio answered with his own gaze.

* * *

As they arrived at the ski resort, everyone became unpleasantly aware of how unprepared they truly were for spending a whole day in the cold air of Lapland, especially at the top of the fell, in even higher and more frostier conditions than they were in now. Luckily, the rental shop had warm skiing clothes for tourists just like them.

In the end, they ended up marching toward the ski lifts in matching red overalls like some criminal gang, or more plausibly, a hastily dressed group of kindergartners on their first snow day. 

Raquel saw more of the same red overalls in the practice slope where the people donning them kept falling down like bowling pins. She swallowed as she realized they were on their way to the biggest slope of the place, not this kiddie area. They would all die here.

Or perhaps not all. Sergio and Andrés jumped into the first available ski lift with surprising ease and elegance while the entire lift had to be stopped twice for the rest of them because Daniel fell out of his seat just ten seconds in and Silene chucked her helmet at a couple who stole her and Aníbal's ride.

Raquel managed to survive the trip, if only because she was holding onto her seat with her dear life. Up there, she could see Sergio and Andrés already glide down like a couple of professionals. Holy hell, they must have visited the Alps every Christmas vacation in their youth.

Meanwhile Raquel had only skied once in her life (if tumbling down a small-ish hill once and spending the rest of the day drinking cocoa at the resort cafe could be counted as skiing). Truth to be told, she didn't particularly like the activity. She liked to feel like she was in control of her own body, and on skis that was simply impossible. She felt like Bambi on ice with them on.

Finally at the top of the hill, she watched as the rest of the group began their careful descent while remaining unmoving herself. She would take her time gathering courage. Her only companion was Martín who seemed to have similar apprehensions, looking down the hill like it would lead over the edge of the world.

They took so long that Andrés and Sergio managed to come back up for their second descent before they had gone even the first time. Sergio set off without looking at her which strangely bothered her. Shouldn't he even pretend to enforce that 'one hour' rule?

"You coming, cariño?" called out Andrés to Martín.

"In a moment, I am going to take some pictures first," he answered with a nonchalant air.

"Alright, see you down there," Andrés said and was just about to go when Raquel stopped him.

"Shouldn't you be with Silene?"

He turned to look at him with a lopsided smirk. "What are you going to do? Tell Sergio?"

Raquel found herself unable to answer.

"I don't think you will do anything. You wouldn't tell him anything that could possibly benefit him. You are his cute little nemesis after all," he drawled.

She let out an outraged little noise, but Andrés was already gone before she could tell him just what she thought about that cutesy comment.

She turned to Martín, huffing and puffing. "Did you hear what he just said to me?" 

"I know, what a bastard. Can't believe I married him," he said with absent fondness before stooping down to loosen the strap of his skis.

Raquel tilted her head. "What are you doing?"

"Skedaddling the fuck out of here. I am not going down that death trap."

"What? But you came all the way here!"

"Only to show Andrés that I am willing to do stuff he likes. He doesn't need to know that I did not go down the hill the presumed way."

"But he is bound to discover your fraud eventually."

"Look, Raquel. We have been married for less than a year. I'd like to keep this honeymoon phase going. One day he will discover I hate skiing, but that day is not today."

He swung the skis over his shoulder and headed towards the hiking path down. "Good luck out there," he called out as he went.

For a moment, Raquel felt tempted to join him. But the possibility of Sergio seeing her surrender like that was too harrowing to bear. She had to ski this slope down. 

So she did. Kind of. 

Slowly, she managed to make it halfway down using a technique she liked to call 'diagonal skidding' before accidentally sliding into a pile of snow and getting stuck.

One ski had carved its way deep into the snow and it was impossible to get it out with only the pulling power of her leg. So she eased off her ski shoe from her foot (the straps were under the snow and impossible to reach) and started pulling at the ski with her hands, her woolly sock-clad foot on the snowy ground. 

She did manage to wrench it out, but as she did so, the whole thing slipped from her fingers and tumbled down onto the slope. From there, it dashed down with the speed of a lightning like an animal freed from its cage at last.

_Shit._

She tried to run to try and grab it, but moving with only one ski in her feet proved hazardous. She fell down on her ass.

There she stayed on the ground, hoping that it would start snowing and she would get buried so that no one could see her in this state.

"Everything alright?" asked a familiar voice.

Raquel opened her eyes and saw that the man hovering over her was Aníbal, Silene's new young boyfriend. She didn't know whether it was a good thing for her dignity or not that he was the person she least knew of the group. The fellow did not speak much.

"I'm perfectly alright," Raquel said, praying that the guy would go away at that.

"Oh, okay. It's just that we saw you lose your ski and then fall down and thought someone should check up on you."

"We?"

"Yeah, most of the group is up there, looking at us."

"I see. Mind slitting my throat with that ski pole?"

Aníbal's concern grew. "What?"

Raquel sighed. "Could you go down and get me that ski?"

"Will do."

But before Aníbal could leave, they heard an ominous sound that resembled awfully lot like "Señora Murillo!" from above them. She turned to look.

Oh joy, it was Sergio. Just what this clusterfuck was missing.

His eyes were zeroed on them both like a hawk, and he was by their side in no time. He braked so abruptly that snow showered over them. As if Raquel wasn't miserable enough.

In an instant, he threw off his ski poles and unstrapped his skis. He then kneeled by her side and, strangely enough, grabbed her foot in order to examine it. 

Sergio Marquina was holding her foot. She could feel his large, gloved hands around her ankle, and unless hallucinations had evolved enough to compass sensory information, this was truly happening. The situation was bizarre enough for her to feel the urge to laugh, but something she couldn't name kept the laughter hitched in her throat and pressed on her chest, obstructing her breathing.

He studied her foot with his eyebrows knotted together, pressing it in different spots and twisting it in various directions all the while Raquel stared at him like the village madman.

He finally let go, frowning. "You are not in pain."

"Now I am a little, after you manhandled my foot," she muttered.

The crease in his forehead only deepened. "But…. My brother said- that something had happened to your foot," he stammered, turning to look at it once more as if not quite believing her.

"Well yes, I am only wearing a soaking wet sock as you can see. And my ski is on its way down the slope, probably traveling at 80 kilometers an hour. I really hope some poor bastard is not going to get speared by it."

Some realization dawned on Sergio's face and he turned away to cuss rather violently under his breath. He did not seem too happy about the fact that his brother had implied something more serious had happened to her.

Raquel did not quite understand why Sergio would rush here just because Andrés had said what he had said. Would they dock his pay if one of his subordinates was injured during this trip?

That should certainly explain the brief look of relief that had crossed his face when he'd found her unharmed. There would be no consequences for him, then. 

What a prick. 

She was just about to ask him whether corporate would deem any psychological scars he would give her during this trip as something they'd hold him accountable for when he spoke up again with a stern voice.

"How is this even possible? Why would you ever take off your boot in the middle of the slope?"

"To spite you, of course," Raquel said indignantly.

His face hardened. "Being a smart-ass again, I see."

"Your very own," she smiled.

Sergio's features went through various expressions in a fraction of a second before settling on his usual humorlessness. "I am going to call a snowmobile for you. There is no way you can make it down like this."

"But Aníbal was going to get me my ski!" she tried to protest, but her words fell on deaf ears. Sergio had already walked away while tapping on his phone. She groaned.

Aníbal looked like he was physically itching to leave.

"Since your husband is on it, I guess I could just…" he began.

" _Husband_?"

Raquel almost choked on the word. Aníbal looked at her, confused.

"No, no, no. He is not my husband," she stammered, suddenly feeling very envious of that ski that had escaped from this situation.

The boy flushed beet red at that.

"Oh I am sorry, I thought- with the way he acts-"

"Please, please stop talking," Raquel said, her eyes clenched shut, mortified that there was a person on earth that could make this cursed assumption. She didn't think it humanly possible.

"I am so so sorry," the poor thing whimpered, shuffling along with his skis to get away as soon as possible. Raquel couldn't blame him, if she was him she would flee like his life was on the line after making a mistake like that.

She watched him dash down the slope, praying that he would not mention this to anyone. She certainly would bring what had just happened to her grave.

She and Sergio, married? She would laugh if the whole thought didn't make her want to bury her head in the snow and scream.

* * *

As the snowmobile driver was securing her into the seat next to him while Sergio and the rest of the slope gaped at her, there were only ugly thoughts on her mind.

She would show him.

She would show him even if it was the last thing she did.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You voted for me to update today and tomorrow in my twitter poll, and I shall do just so. It is still Saturday on some parts of the globe, right? :D 
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, turns out trying to edit and upload a chapter with the worst internet connection in the world is a slow damn progress. Luckily I am back home tomorrow where I can actually get ao3 to load in less than 30 seconds.
> 
> Thank you for Myra, Jo and Zee for their help with the Spanish in this chapter!

The first thing Raquel did after being released from the snowmobile was walk into the ski lodge and hire herself a ski instructor. By the end of these two weeks, she would so good at skiing that a _certain_ person could only watch and weep.  
  
There were several people available to teach her, but one man seemed especially interested in taking up the task as soon as he saw Raquel. She would be lying if she claimed he wasn't her first pick as an instructor as well.  
  
He was tall, blonde, blue-eyed and quite frankly, something ripped straight out of the annual Vikings calendar Ágata must have on her wall. Perhaps learning to ski wouldn't be such a necessary evil after all.  
  
He introduced himself as Mikael and as soon as he heard Raquel's name and that she was from Spain, he took her gloved hand and raised it to his lips.   
  
_"Buenas tardes, señorita. ¿Todas las mujeres de España son tan hermosas o sólo soy afortunado?"_ he said in Spanish.   
  
"Oh, aren't you a charmer," Raquel answered in English, withdrawing her hand. She had liked him more before he had opened his mouth and let all that charm drip from his tongue, but after the day she'd had she'd welcome any man looking at her like he wanted to spread her on a slice of bread. "And you know Spanish?"

"We get a lot of tourists and I have been able to pick up a few things," he said with an easy smile. "Come with me, señora. I will show you the ropes."  
  
He took her back to the slopes, this time to a smaller one where death didn't feel quite so near with every glance down. As luck would have it, the others had migrated there as well. Once again, they would get to witness her fall on her ass and absolutely fail at skiing and life and everything in between. Oh well, at least now she had a hot instructor to show off.  
  
Mónica's brow had leaped up when she had passed by Raquel and Mikael doing some drills at the side of the slope. After her had come Silene who had let out a shameless whistle. Finally, Ágata came and even stopped to give her the thumbs up. _Nice!_  
  
Raquel shooed her away with a wave of her hand, smiling. She turned to look at who was coming next. There was still one person she would like for to see her in Mikael's gentle care.  
  
But the first time Sergio came down, he did not seem to notice who Raquel was with. This left her feeling a tad disappointed. The thought distracted her enough for her to fall flat on her face.  
Luckily there was Mikael to help her up and wipe the snow off her lips.  
  
If only Sergio had been there to see that.  
  
The second time he came down, Sergio turned his head and did seem to see them but showed no other reaction than mild curiosity. Raquel was annoyed. Was it really too much trouble for his face to look even slightly perturbed by the fact that Raquel's day was turning much better than he might have hoped?  
  
For his third descent, she had a plan. She told Mikael she wanted to practice turning, and he obliged.   
  
"Hold onto my pole. Yes, just like that. Now make a tight loop. Don't worry, I will catch you if you stumble."  
  
That was precisely her plan. When Sergio was almost by their side, she made a clumsy dash straight toward Mikael. He instantly grabbed her in a firm bear hug to prevent her from wiping out.  
  
"Oopsie," he chuckled, holding tightly onto her. Raquel smiled strainedly at him before detaching herself.  
  
She turned around to see that Sergio had stopped to peer at them. Perfect.  
  
"Can I help you?" Mikael asked, cocking his eyebrow.  
  
"That is my boss, Sergio. He is probably just checking on me," Raquel said and flashed Sergio an infuriatingly bright smile.  
  
"Did you hire a ski instructor?" he asked in English, unfazed.  
  
Mikael cut in before Raquel could answer. "I am teaching her a bit of skiing, and she is helping me improve my Spanish in return."  
  
This made it sound a lot more like a cute, casual deal than money in exchange of a service arrangement as it truly was, but Raquel did not mind it at the moment. It was somehow very satisfying, showing Sergio that not all men found her as distasteful as he did.   
  
_"Vamos a oírlo,"_ Sergio said, asking him to prove his skills. He probably thought Raquel a poor teacher which was why he viewed the matter so suspiciously.  
  
_"¿Estás poniendo a prueba mi español? Te aseguro que la bella dama me ha enseñado bastante bien,_ " Mikael answered, his eyes as narrowed as Sergio's.

 _"Hablas bien,"_ Sergio was forced to acknowledge.  
  
"How about you? Do you speak Finnish?" Mikael asked with newfound cockiness.  
  
To both her and Mikael's surprise, Sergio opened his mouth and answered in Finnish.  
  
"Kulla, puhun vahan. Opetelin tata matka varten. Talla Kusitunnurissa on kaunista. Kaksi viikkoa on liian luhut aika vietta Kusitunnurissa."  
  
His voice was a little wobbly, as if he wasn't completely confident in his pronunciation, but he still spoke without stopping to hesitate. Raquel looked at him with wide eyes, impressed, while Mikael's face twisted as if Sergio had said something highly amusing, and he was trying to hold in his reaction. He was successful to the extent that Sergio did not notice a thing from where he was standing.  
  
Sergio then gestured towards Raquel and continued in Finnish. "Pida huva huoli hanesta. Han on paras tuontekijani."  
  
"Älä huoli, hän on hyvässä tallessa kanssani," Mikael answered in Finnish while Raquel looked curiously at them both, wondering what was being said.   
  
Sergio nodded, and with that, he was off again without as much as looking at Raquel. She frowned.  
  
When she turned back to Mikael, she saw he was barely holding in his laughter.  
  
"What are you laughing at?"  
  
"Let's just say his pronunciation was way off," he chuckled in an almost mean manner. Raquel found herself strangely peeved by it.   
  
"Oh well, I am impressed he made the effort to learn some of your language. It is only polite," she said, little indignantly.   
  
Mikael raised his hands in a surrendering gesture, smiling. When he guided her back to the practice area, he looked at her searchingly.  
  
"A bit protective that guy. A big brother type," he said with apparent nonchalance. "Or maybe I am wrong and there is something between…"  
  
Raquel shook her head violently. "We are _not_ together."  
  
The second person to make that mistake today. Lord, she was going to need a second therapist after this trip if this was going to be a frequent occurrence.  
  
"I more so thought that he might like you. He just seemed pretty bummed to see you with me, that is all."  
  
Raquel considered these words in a stupefied moment of silence. Then, inexplicably and unwillingly, she found herself furiously flushing.  
  
Just the thought of Sergio thinking about her in that manner was overwhelming and staggering in its absurdity and made her heart pump her face full of blood. The more she considered it, the more she blushed and the more she felt mortified and blushed even more as the result   
  
_God, get a hold of yourself! It is not like it is true!_ Raquel commanded herself.  
  
Luckily, to Mikael her blush had to be indistinguishable from chill-induced red cheeks, and soon she was able to calm down enough to answer in a complete, unwavering sentence.  
  
"I think I would have noticed if that was the case."  
  
Looking down, she saw Sergio depart from the rest of the group who were heading toward the lifts again. She watched him walk toward the ski lodge, dragging his skis sluggishly behind him.

Raquel found herself feeling a little troubled by the sight, but she did not pause to explore the feeling further.  
  
Not soon after, she started finding Mikael's flirting tiresome. It was cold and dark and she definitely didn't feel up for some playful banter anymore. Luckily he seemed to sense her weariness and concluded her ski education.  
  
"You know, I could give you some advanced lessons for free if you want," he said after complimenting Raquel for getting the hang of the basics so fast.  
  
"For free?" Raquel repeated skeptically.  
  
"You would only have to allow me to take you for drinks first," he smiled, leaning against his ski pole.  
  
_Why, of course._  
  
"Hmmm, let me think about it," she said noncommittally.  
  
"Do."  
  
With some reluctance, Raquel handed him her phone and he saved his number there with near-practiced nimbleness.   
  
Ignoring the calls of the others to join them in their pursuit of the black diamond slope (she wasn't as keen on the idea of returning to Spain in a body bag as perhaps the others were), Raquel headed toward the ski lodge. Sergio might still be there, she had been looking at the building the whole time and had not seen him leave. She wanted to make sure he had not slipped again on some idiotic solo adventure. It wouldn't be fun to have to explain to the corporate that their favorite little marionette had been trampled by a stray reindeer.  
  
She did not have to look for too long. The second she walked in, she saw him sitting alone at the lodge bar, nursing a single sad little beer. The sight almost made her feel a pang of sympathy until she remembered that he wouldn't care one bit if the roles were reserved.  
  
She made a beeline to him.  
  
"What has got you looking so gloomy?" she asked, startling him out of his reverie. "Did the corporate ghost you?"  
  
He turned to look her in that unfocused way that signaled he had been drinking before visibly closing himself off and lifting his glass back to his lips.  
  
"Your ski lesson end already?" he muttered absently.  
  
Raquel leaned against the counter so that he would be forced to face at least a part of her from the corner of his eye. "Yes, but he offered me a further lesson in exchange of a date."  
  
He turned to her, a dark look in his eyes. "Was that something that made you uncomfortable?  
  
Raquel stared at him, uncomprehending, until the realization hit her and she blinked. Sergio was asking whether she had felt harassed by Mikael.   
  
And judging by the sharp change in his posture, it seemed that he wouldn't simply shrug it off if the answer was yes.   
  
"No. I am thinking of taking up the offer," she said quickly.

Sergio stared at her for a moment, as if trying to determine whether she was telling the truth. She knew he was only cautious because his employee being harassed could give the company more complications than they would want, but still, it was strange to see him even pretend to care.  
  
"Hope you have fun," he finally said, his gaze turning absent again. For him, the conversation was over on this subject.  
  
Well, this exchange had not given her the satisfaction she thought it would. She was not exactly sure what she'd hoped he would say, but she knew this had not been in it.   
  
"Well, I am gonna head back to cabin," she announced. "Catch up on some reading."  
  
She turned to leave but was intercepted by Sergio.  
  
"Not so fast," he said abruptly, rising from his seat.   
  
Raquel halted as he came to stand in front of the way out, dwarfing her with his size. Damn him and his height. She wished he was at least a few inches shorter so she wouldn't have to look up at him. Merely that was a defeat of sorts.  
  
"We need to ski together for an hour."  
  
"What?" Raquel said, not quite sure if she had heard right.

Sergio did not repeat himself, simply stared at her unflinchingly. That drove the message home.

"You can't be ser- no!"  
  
"Either that or we spend an hour together at the cabin alone. I prefer the first option, but suit yourself."  
  
"Well, I am not doing either," Raquel said defiantly and began marching toward the stairway that lead to the equipment room. She found herself consumed with a burning need to get out of all this ski stuff as fast as she could.  
  
She heard Sergio follow her with a determined stride. "This is not a matter of what you _want_ to do. This is a part of your work. Refusing to do this is the same as as refusing to answer your emails or turn in your reports. Corporate wouldn't like it. There would be consequences."  
  
"I don't care."

If he had not fired her thus far, he was never going to fire her. Perhaps he enjoyed pushing her around too much to do that.  
  
Downstairs, she put away her skis and overalls as Sergio bored holes into her skull with his glare.  
  
"Alright, an hour together at the cabin it is," Sergio said after she was done. She only scoffed at that.  
  
She quickened her pace to a sprint and headed toward the door, hoping to shake him off if she was fast enough.  
  
The door she had picked did not lead to the desired escape from Sergio's company. Instead, she was faced with the back wall of a tiny supply closet full of broken and faulty ski equipment. But before she could turn around and find an alternate route, he followed her there, the door closing behind him.  
  
"I won't give you special treatment regardless of what you feel about me. You are not an exception to the rule," he rumbled, not even noticing how cramped the space they were in was. They were so close she could feel his contempt radiate off him and heat up her skin.  
  
"You and your goddamn rules," Raquel muttered, concentrating on her exit. Her leg had slipped between his and she felt a burning need to escape this poorly ventilated hole so she could breathe properly again. He took up all the space and oxygen here with his towering frame.  
  
"I would appreciate an ounce of respect for me as your superior. Even a dust particle's worth would be sufficient-"  
  
Sergio seemed to finally recognize their proximity as her thigh brushed against him and took an abrupt step back like he had been zapped. His back hit the door. He began fumbling with the doorknob, unable to look Raquel into the eye.  
  
He hissed out a curse as he did not manage to get the door open on his first try and he maneuvered around to seize the knob with both of his hands. Raquel dodged his elbow. But the door did not budge.  
  
"I think- I think the door locked behind me," he finally exhaled, raggedly, like a massive constrictor was squeezing at him.  
  
In the end, it seemed it was the universe rather than Sergio who would enforce the one hour rule on them.  
  
It was so her luck she did not bother to even fight it. It would be like contesting gravity. Of course she would get stuck with the one person in the universe she least wanted to spend time with, _of course._

She slid down against the wall to sit on the floor as Sergio started pounding his fists against the door and shouting.

"Hey! Someone! Let us out!" 

Sergio then checked his phone, found there was no service and started again.

After an excruciatingly long cycle of this Raquel let out a long groan. "We are in the basement. The only way someone is going to hear you is if you cut through at least a meter of concrete. And frankly, I don't think you have the lungs."

"I don't see you doing much about our predicament," Sergio muttered.

"That is because I am a realist. Since it is me, I know it is going to take at least three hours for someone to realize to let us out."

This made Sergio run some calculations in his head.

"There were over 100 people out there skiing by my approximation. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes for someone to come put away their equipment and let us out."

"I highly doubt that," Raquel said as Sergio leaned against the wall in a way that prevented him from being in any physical contact with Raquel but would also guarantee that his legs would quickly fall asleep, and he would suffer. 

"Are you going to be standing like that the whole three hours we are stuck here?" Raquel asked dryly.

"It is not going to be three hours."

"We shall see about that."

Around twenty minutes passed in silence. The whole time, Sergio leaned against the wall like a melting snowman. He looked beyond uncomfortable, and it was starting to frustrate Raquel.

"I'll take this corner, you take that. I promise not to infect you with my… Raquel-ness," she said, shuffling to the far right corner.

"That is my first name, by the way. Not señora," she added poignantly.

Slowly and reluctantly, Sergio slid down to a sitting position on the floor. With both of them hugging their knees against their chests, only the tips of their shoes were touching. It must look ridiculous, but they were both pretty ridiculous people, getting stuck here in the first place.  
  
"You know, if you weren't so insistent on us spending that hour together we wouldn't be stuck here for potentially more than an hour," she remarked.

Sergio just glared her at that.  
  
"How come you changed your mind about all that? With the way you dashed away from me at the slope, thought my company was the last thing you wanted today."  
  
"I decided that I shouldn't let my personal feelings undermine my authority," he answered, like it was the official statement corporate had sent into his brain. Raquel could almost hear the ping of incoming mail.  
  
"Personal feelings," Raquel said, clicking her tongue. "Ah yes, your deep burning hatred for me. How could I forget."

Sergio was quiet for a moment, looking almost bothered by what Raquel had just said. But then his face became a stony mask as always when she looked at him long enough.

Suddenly, he spoke up about something wholly unrelated in a completely colorless voice.  
  
"You know, if you want you can get your ski lessons covered by the corporate. I can send them the invoice, tell them it is part of the team building costs."

Raquel tilted her head, looking at him as if he had just grown a second head.  
  
"Why would you do that?"  
  
“Because I don't want you paying out of pocket for something that you could get for free from those bloodsuckers."  
  
"Those bloodsuckers? Is this Sergio Marquina I am speaking to?" Raquel chuckled.

Sergio said nothing, but there was a hint of a smile on the corner of his mouth. Just the smallest trace of it, something whose existence she couldn't completely vouch for. 

He really must be drunk then, pulling crazy stunts like being helpful to Raquel and almost smiling. Or perhaps he was just messing with her.  
  
Raquel narrowed her eyes.  
  
"I meant that why would you do something that nice to me?  
  
Sergio shrugged. "Why does a cold-hearted swamp monster like me do anything? Perhaps it is a part of my master plan to screw you over. Who knows."  
  
His words were a hint slurred, betraying how much alcohol he had truly consumed. That proved right one of Raquel's hypothesises.  
  
Still, she did not appreciate what he had just said. It was almost as if he was poking fun of what she thought about him.  
  
"Well, you certainly have never done anything like that to me before. I am suspicious for a reason."  
  
Again, there was that ghost of a smile on his face. "I suppose that is true."  
  
They sat in strained silence for a while, Raquel staring at the ceiling, feelings strangely bothered by this whole exchange while Sergio studied the ground, his smile fading.  
  
It was uncomfortable. Far more uncomfortable she was used to being with Sergio. Usually there was the undercurrent of animosity filling the air. Now there was nothing, just echoing emptiness.

She had to say something.  
  
"Never mind the ski lessons, they were not that expensive anyway. If you are suddenly on such a nice, helpful mood, I want you to pull your strings and get me on the first class on the way back. They put me there for some reason coming here and now I am spoiled for life. If the corporate can throw money on this team-building tomfoolery, they sure can do that for me. I am a member of the team after all, and my gears need some greasing. Put me in the first class."  
  
She was taunting him, certain that he would pull a face and say no as if this was the most audacious thing Raquel could ask for. Then Raquel would get to retort something back. It would be the beginning of a fun back and forth. It was one way to pass the time and fill in this suffocating silence.   
  
But what she never could have expected came next.  
  
Sergio let out a sound that was half-snort, half-scoff. "I don't how they would feel about me doing that two times in a row."  
  
The second he had let this out of his mouth, his expression changed from amusement to pale caution. It was as if regret of what he had just let out had instantaneously hit him. He sealed his mouth shut, looking away.   
  
But the realization had already struck her with the force of a freight train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sergio and Raquel's predicament of being stuck together will continue in the next chapter, coming tomorrow.
> 
> Translations for the lines in Spanish:
> 
> 1\. Good evening, ma'am. Are all women from Spain this beautiful or am I just lucky?  
> 2\. Let's hear it.  
> 3\. You want to test me on my Spanish? I assure you, the beautiful lady has taught me quite well.  
> 4\. You speak well.
> 
> The translation for the lines in Finnish will be provided in chapter 10 ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have seen some confusion about when this story will end. Good news (I guess?), it is not coming to an end on Christmas Day! This was originally supposed to be your ordinary advent calendar fic and last up until that day, but then I decided to update only every other day as the chapters were so long. So this fic will have 24 chapters and will last until January.

" _You_ put me in the first class?" she asked, the sheer bewilderment in her voice making it sound more strangulated than intended.

That must have been what he had requested from the flight attendant when he'd walked to the desk. And that possibility had not even flashed in her mind.

Sergio was petrified, in his eyes a look that could be only described as a warning, like something a bear staring down at a person coming too close its cubs would wear. But there was also a hint of something vulnerable, almost puppy-ish. Something that screamed _Please do not hurt me_. It was strange.

Sure, she was floored and her head was a frantic whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, but it was not as if this revelation was going to shoot her up on her feet and make her corner him like a perp caught red-handed.

Although she would have to do something if she didn't get this mental carousel in her head to cease.

_This didn't make any sense, this didn't make any sense, this didn't make any sense._

It was the only thing she could think about.

Him offering to help her with the cost of the ski lessons _sort of_ added up. Surprising as it was, it just made him a somewhat decent person. Your average human. She could just and just accept him as your average human if she spent some time mulling it over.

But this…

This was different.

The first class ticket should have gone to him as the manager. He had sacrificed his own comfort for her.

Not even Alberto would have done that for her on his best days. He would have simply smacked a kiss on her cheek and said "see you when we land" before dashing to his new seat without a second thought.

She couldn't imagine her other coworkers doing this to her either. Ágata was a friend, but if she was presented with a choice between an unlimited supply of free champagne and doing her this favor, Raquel did not stand a fighting chance.

So why of all people, would Sergio Marquina, her so-called nemesis, do this for her?

This did not fit the image of the brooding, rude and uncooperative man that dwelled in her head. Even if an alien impostor had taken over Sergio's body, they would have surely done enough research not to have him do something so extraordinarily uncharacteristic that his alien friends would have been forced to cancel the whole operation and flee for the risk of exposure.

It could be a part of his plan to trap her in a false sense of affinity (but now that he had brought up the whole concept of him having an evil masterplan, she felt foolish even considering it. Unless that was exactly his intention).

But shouldn't he have told her about what he had done in that case?

Perhaps, it could be just a whim. A blip in Sergio's otherwise impeccable processor that rejected the entire spectrum of human emotion. She had herself done things she couldn't understand, like sign up for this trip. She had to suppose it was the same for Sergio.

But then again, he had helped her with her luggage. He had tried to take the couch so she wouldn't have to. He had rushed to see if she was okay when she had lost her ski. He had gotten upset at the thought of Mikael being inappropriate with her.

It seemed to be more of a pattern than a single instance of whim. The realization was disconcerting. This was not the behavior of a man who hated her from the bottom of his heart, she had to admit, no matter how foreign thinking Sergio as anything else was. It was either how a very chivalrous man would act (which Sergio wasn't) or how a loving husband would (which Sergio _definitely_ wasn't). But perhaps, if one explored options between those two…

She inwardly shook her head. She wasn't going to allow her thoughts to stray even one bit into that direction. She wouldn't risk blushing in front of Sergio like she had blushed in front of Mikael, entertaining thoughts like that. It would be humiliating.

But then again, he had verbally affirmed to loathe her. And most of the time, he put up corresponding front too. The way he acted around her was akin to a performance of hatred, even.

That made her think.

"Why did you do that?" she asked after Sergio had not offered any sort of acknowledgement that she had said something.

"What does it matter? You got to travel in the first class," he grunted.

He was weirdly defensive about the whole thing. As if he had been caught red-handed doing something wicked which giving someone his seat in the first class was the very opposite of. It was bizarre and definitely something worth investigating. 

Sergio currently looked like a miserable bug forced under a microscope. Regretfully for the poor man, Raquel had to to resort to dirty tactics in order to extract the truth out of him. 

So she uncurled from her fetal-like position and crawled over to him, slamming her palms on the floor on each side of his body, caging him in. She saw his Adam's apple bop as he realized how close she was. But then his eyes hardened and his fingers clutched around the fabric of his pants.

"Tell me," she exhaled.

He said nothing, staring at her with the same gaze a soldier determined not to yield even a crumb of information to the enemy would hold. 

_Alright then._

"You know, I can make things very hard for you," she whispered.

He stared back at her with unwavering defiance.

She had no clue what she would actually do, but whatever it was, it probably wouldn't demand too much effort. Sergio was so appalled by her physical form that she could get him to break just by pretending to pluck an eyelash from his cheek.

She wasn't actually going to touch him, or do anything that would give HR anymore grief than Silene already did. No, she was simply going to stare at him this menacing manner until she got a better idea.

Raquel had certainly never been this close to his face before. This staring match was more challenging than usual, considering their proximity. She found herself more distracted by aspects of him than usual, like the faint scent of alcohol from his breath. Perhaps it had given him the boost he needed to hold out surprisingly long.

She wondered how many women he'd had staring at him like this before kissing him. Without knowing him, she would guess the number couldn't be small, but she wasn't so sure now after years of experience of him. He did not seem too interested in anyone.

It was a shame a nicer man did not have his face. His nose was quite pleasant-looking, if she thought about it. 

She leaned just a hint closer, causing her own nose to brush against his.

At this instant, Sergio's resolve shattered like a house of cards. He pushed her away. "Alright, alright!"

Holy Mary, mother of Jesus. She had actually successfully managed to blackmail someone with girl cooties? Was she back in preschool?

This reverie was interrupted by Sergio's hoarse confession.

"I saw you crying and I only wanted to bring you some comfort. It was _nothing_. I would have done it to _anyone_."

Well, that was an interesting revelation. 

She wasn't exactly thrilled about the fact that Sergio had seen her crying and felt sorry for her, but the fact that he had performed such a simple human action was a discovery that made the embarrassment currently churning in her gut worth it.

Could it be that he was an empathic being? A wild theory, but worth a shot.

If that was true, she could make a guess why he had felt the need to hide it.

She retreated back into her own corner and looked at Sergio with a faint, victorious smile he pretended not to notice.

"I think I know your secret," she finally whispered.

Sergio looked up, startled.

The weirdly scared look on his face gave her a pause, but she elaborated before too long.

"Deep down, you are a big softie, but you don't want anyone to know it. You put on an overtly harsh mask so you can appear as this respectable authority figure. But now I know it is just an act."

Sergio's face slackened a little. Perhaps he was relieved someone had finally stated this aloud.

"I am talking deep, deep, deep down," she emphasized before he could get too cocky about being a rounded human being.

"You are not a cold-blooded swamp monster. You are just a regular unremitting asshole who feels the need to hide his soft side under locks and barriers." 

"Why thank you," he said dryly.

Raquel couldn't tell if he was insulted by her calling him an asshole. His mask was back on and impenetrable. Still, she felt a little bad. 

That had been as close she could get to discovering something profound about his character. She supposed it was time to return to the basics, somewhere where they were both comfortable. Bickering.

"Now it is your turn."

"Huh?"

"For payback," Raquel said with an impatient smile, like the answer was obvious. "Call me a hurtful thing in return."

Sergio frowned.

"No."

"I am sure you have plenty of unflattering observations about me in mind. Go ahead, air one out. I did not hold back either."

"I am not going to do that."

How come his contempt was only tangible when she least wanted it to be? Now that she needed proof she wasn't just as bad as him, it was a no-show.

"I bet you are itching to."

"I am not."

"C'mon-"

"I am not a tool you use when you want to hurt yourself," he finally retorted.

The words made a violent landing in the bottom of her stomach. A silence descended. 

It was another deeply uncomfortable one, even more so than the last one. Raquel found herself withdrawing into her own shell and looking away from him. There was an unpleasant, suffocating feeling in her chest, and she didn't want him looking at her. His gaze was too piercing, too observant.

_God, why had no one come to let them out already?_

"You can't compliment me, and you can't insult me. What can you say about me?" she finally murmured, sounding annoyingly irate.

"Nothing. Trust me, it is better that way."

"Very well," Raquel huffed, shuffling into a better position that did not face Sergio quite so directly.

Some minutes passed in silence. Raquel could sense every breath he took, even discern the movements of his fingers against the floorboards.

"I will play the game alone then," she whispered, staring at the door instead of Sergio. "I have insulted you. Now I will compliment you. Feel free to join, unless you'd rather stay locked up in your own head."

She started with the first thing that was on her mind.

"It was very kind of you to give me your first class seat."

Sergio did not answer, but she did hear him move uncomfortably. 

"I remember thinking that you were nice. In the beginning," she continued.

That was true. When she'd first started, she did not have anything bad to say about him. He was just your ordinarily, if slightly dorky boss with a coffee mug that said 'There is whiskey in here'. He used to smile nervously whenever she came to drop off a report at his office, pushing his glasses up his nose every two seconds. Back then he'd called her señora Murillo as well, but the expectation had been that he'd eventually start calling her Raquel once he got to know her better. That had however, never happened.

She could actually pinpoint when his behavior toward her had changed. It had been after the first Christmas party where she had…

That memory was too embarrassing to recount, even in her own head.

Still, it seemed to have been one of the factors that had led him into resenting her. She wasn't quite sure why, but still, the mistake had been made and Sergio had balked at it, no matter how innocent the action had been.

There was small, sad, pathetic part of her brain that wished it had never happened. Maybe they could have become friends.

Maybe.

This remark had made Sergio squirm. Perhaps this was worse torture for him than the staring competition. This realization hardly goaded her to stop, however.

She turned to look at him, searching for another thing to compliment him about. His dark locks were a little mussed after he had taken his helmet off, but it did make him look unkempt. It was attractive, in a way. Especially matched with that ridiculous sweater.

 _You are handsome,_ she thought.

She quickly discarded the idea.

The purpose wasn't to inflate his ego that _much_.

Besides, it probably wasn't even the objective truth. Stuck here in this closet, sure, he was good-looking. After the drought she'd had, he might be even called handsome. But Sergio wouldn't appreciate her embellishing the truth like that just because she was desperate enough to consider _his_ appearance. So she kept her mouth shut. 

She went with something else instead.

"You are good at skiing."

His answer came instantaneously.

"Better than Mikael?"

Raquel's mouth slipped into a lopsided smirk. "Why does that matter?"

He let out a noncommittal shrug, but the look in his eyes was dark and intense. "It doesn't."

Another silence followed, but this one was of the loaded kind. It was heady in a way. Raquel felt herself almost begin to enjoy it the more it went on, like a sundae cone she did not want to stop licking.

Without any prompting, Sergio eventually added: "It doesn't take a lot to be better than him."

"Oh?" she grinned.

"For instance, the way he taught you," he said, sitting up now that he had something interesting to talk about. "He had you bending so low you were almost dragging your ass across the snow. It is a good position for someone who cares about aerodynamics, but you are a beginner, not Jean Vuarnet. You don't need to go that fast. And if you do it even slightly wrong, your skis will get all squirrelly and you will lose the control of them. You are only going to hurt yourself that way."

Raquel made a teasingly lazy shrug. "I dunno, it felt pretty good to me."

"With me it would feel much better," he drawled.

Raquel blinked. She wasn't sure what kind of game she was playing with Sergio at the moment, but one thing she knew was that it would be a loath stop.

"Prove it."

Sergio looked at her for a moment, intently, before slowly getting up. 

"Alright, I will show you."

"Sure," she said, standing up herself with an odd little spark in her stomach.

There was very little space in the closet for him to demonstrate anything which meant that Sergio had to stand right next to her. His hands kept brushing her no matter how hard he tried to clear a little leeway from the equipment lying on the floor.

She could feel him all around her, which made her more jittery than she was proud of, but she also felt strangely warm. 

"Bend your knees and lean forward slightly," he ordered.

Raquel did just so.

"Not that low," he said, instinctively correcting her position by putting his hand on his waist.

She was only able to breathe again when he finally removed his hand. Sergio did not remain unaffected either, squeezing his hand against his side and clearing his throat.

"Al- alright. Could move your legs a little bit more apart?"

This time, he did not touch her which was probably for the best. Raquel spread her legs.

"Keep your shoulders slightly more forward than your hips. Center your weight over your feet."

"Like this?" Raquel said, leaning forward. With this motion, she managed to knock down a broken ski pole who tumbled onto the ground with a loud thud.

She let out a high-pitched laugh. "God, this is ridiculous."

"Hey, correct ski posture is no laughing matter," Sergio said. This was the first time ever she had actually heard a good-natured, banter-y undertone in his voice.

This time he cupped her shoulder confidently and guided her into the right position. Raquel did not mind, in fact… this was quite nice. He seemed to know what he was doing and she derived assurance from his firm touch.

"Show me how you would turn."

"Hmm, sure," Raquel said, her voice an amused little thing.

She swiveled her upper body and was able to turn in a 25' degree, but before she could advance further, Sergio stopped her by putting his hands on her waist.

"You need to move your lower body. Keep your upper body relaxed," he said, his voice coming out raspier than she'd expected. "Now try again."

It took a moment for her to progress what he'd said (and to realize he had said something in the first place). When she finally rotated, the pressure of Sergio's hands prevented her from turning her upper body.

She made what had to be a successful swerve in the right position, but Sergio did not comment on it. Instead, he just kept his hands on her, his body unmoving, saying nothing. 

His hands were warm, rough and masculine around her. It was a pleasant sensation. She kept them there by not moving, not even making a sound. She simply held her breath and hoped it would all last just a moment longer.

Finally, she heard him swallow. As if it was a product of an intense concentration of willpower, he slowly removed his hands and stepped back.

"How did it feel?" he asked, his voice only a little unsteady.

"Ah, good," Raquel said, something uncomfortably hot slowly but surely consuming her body.

"So do you admit that my way is better?" 

Raquel couldn't help but tease him again in this regard.

"I am not sure. This was not the real thing so it is hard to compare."

Even though she could not see his face at the moment, she could just sense him frowning.

"The next time we go skiing I will be the one teaching you," he stated in a low voice.

"Alright."

"And if I am a better teacher than him, you will admit that to me. In a full sentence."

"Fine," Raquel agreed with a mischievous lilt in her voice, turning to look at him.

"And you will not seek out Mikael's services again. I will be the one to teach you from there on."

"Sure, _Profesor_."

It had been meant as a jab at his ridiculous Youtube username, but the man did not seem to take it that way. His pupils dilated and his breath caught in his throat.

The sight sent something in a sweeping, fluttery trajectory across her stomach.

 _What is this? What is this? What is this?_ steadily thrummed her heart as as they stared at each other, breathing hard.

Whatever it was, she really did not want to think about it too hard so that this intoxicating moment of senselessness would not end quite yet.

Sergio seemed to too soon snap out of it and parted his lips as if to make an excuse, put an end to this.

_Oh, don't you open your mouth now you bastard._

Raquel found herself grabbing at his lapels, and at once, stretching out into her full length and yanking him toward her.

Just then, the door swung open.

They were faced with a very confused looking cleaning lady who had just caught Raquel on her tiptoes, holding onto Sergio's sweater front, her face inches away from his.

Without bothering to give either of the other two an explanation about what had just come to pass, Raquel released his lapels and slowly backed away, before breaking into a run through the open door.

 _Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god,_ she thought as she clambered up the stairs.

_What the hell had she just been about to do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note the change of the rating for this chapter! This one… is definitely a bit more explicit than the others :D
> 
> I know I said you would find out what Mikael and Sergio said in Finnish in this chapter, but that scene got bumped into the next one in order for this chapter not to be overtly long. My apologies.

It took surprisingly long for Sergio to return to the cabin. The whole time Raquel had waited for him in their room, full of apprehension and fear. 

The chances of him having no idea she had been about to kiss him and the chances of her getting fired were 50/50. Either way, she was prepared. She had a defense speech for anything Sergio might let out of his mouth the second he walked through the door. She wasn't going to go down without a fight.

But when Sergio did finally step inside the room and see Raquel, he said nothing. He did not even react when she came to stand directly in front of him, the fact that she wanted to talk as clear as if it was plastered on her forehead with flickering neon letters. No, he simply diverted his gaze to the laptop on his bed and walked past Raquel like she was not even there.

She was dumbfounded. Not even a "Scram, I have an email about you to the corporate to draft"?

Perhaps he really had not understood what had happened. But his lack of curiosity was troubling. She had expected him to run after her and interrogate her about the incident until he found grounds for at least a written warning. Raquel had so many written warnings from Sergio she wouldn't have to buy toilet paper ever again if she carried them all home.

Perhaps if their relationship wasn't what it was, she would just be grateful he did not want to bring it up and go to sleep. But the atmosphere in the room was beyond uncomfortable. She couldn't bear two weeks of this. Hell, she couldn't even bear the 10 minutes he had already been in this room. She had to do something.

When he grabbed the stuff he needed and was clearly heading out to take a shower, Raquel stepped in front of the doorway, refusing his exit. 

"Could you move?" Sergio choked out, staring at her forehead.

"Gladly. As long as you acknowledge the reason you cannot look me in the eye right now."

"I can look you int the eye," he said, shifting her gaze from her forehead to her nose.

"Somehow, I doubt it."

His forehead knotted. "I am not going to even take a stab at interpreting what happened in that closet. I am sorry but I do not feel like having you laugh in my face today."

 _Her laughing at him?_ What the hell warranted her laughing at him? It should be the other way around.

"Right. Well, you don't have to. I'd like to just apologize. It was a mistake. I was not in my right mind, and… you know. It was a mistake."

"You already said that," Sergio replied somewhat tersely and tried to push past her. Raquel did not let him.

"Just accept my apology and we never have to talk about this again."

"Apology accepted," he grunted.

"Good."

She stepped aside, allowing him to leave and was just about to walk to her bed and scream into her pillow until she ran out of oxygen and blacked out for the sheer excruciation of this whole interaction, but then Sergio spoke up and made her halt.

"Don't worry. We never have to talk about it if you feel embarrassed."

The reassuring tone of his voice made her pause. Well, this wouldn't do. Sergio did not get to say what she felt ashamed about and what she did not.

She swung around, pointing a jabbing finger at him like a witness at a murder trial.

"Look. I haven't had sex in a really, really, really long time."

Sergio gaped back at her, his eyes bulging like a beached fish's.

That had perhaps been the wrong approach, ambushing him out of the left field with a statement like that. 

"What I am trying to say is that it has nothing do with you. _Nothing_. I would have made that same erroneous judgment if I had been stuck there with anyone else. My body is simply running on fumes, physical contact-wise, and I reacted accordingly to someone touching me."

"I get it, you don't have to-"

"I would not do it with you even if your cock could cure cancer," she felt the need to add as if to re-establish their comfortable state of animosity after the moment of confusion they had shared.

Sergio's face hardened.  
  
"What makes you think I would be interested in that?"

The look in his eyes made her reconsider her words. It was cool and dark, if only a hint faltering.

"I am not attracted to you enough to be even remotely tempted."

Out of all the things he could have said, this had the most staggering effect for a reason she could not understand. She stood there, staring at him, breathing hard like she had been smacked in the face. Then, her bewilderment was replaced with fury.

_Bastard!_

"Oh you would be so fucking lucky," she hissed out.

Sergio seemed to realize how inappropriate of a topic this was for a manager and his subordinate to discuss and quickly switched tracks.

"We don't need to continue further on this… theme. The point where we are both getting at it is that neither of us are interested in each other… in that manner. Which is good, ideal even. Let's leave it at that."

Raquel resisted the urge to fling a table at him. 

God, she hated him. She hated every inch of him from his stupid messy hair to his stupid glasses and stupid sweater and stupid, unfairly strong body.

She waited for Sergio to leave before gathering her things and marching out of the room, only barely able to suppress her bloodlust. After her shower, she briefly considered just sleeping in the tub so that she would not end up pressing a pillow over his face some time over the night, but decided against it. She did not want to be there and have to listen to Daniel take a piss every two hours, though it was a close call between that and sharing a room with Sergio tonight.

So she simply changed into her sleepwear and resigned to her fate.

She sensed his gaze following her when she walked from the door to the bed in her pyjamas. _What are you looking at, dipshit?_ she almost wanted to ask. It was not like she did anything for him.

He was still staring at her while she was riffling through her things which made her finally retort: "Glare all you want, I am not going to be sleeping in a burqa unless you go and buy me one."

This seemed to make him finally stop. Raquel turned around saw that he was lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, his hands pulled into fists by his sides. He was probably already contemplating on where in Lapland he could find a place that sold such garments.

She climbed into her own bed, that single, abominable sentence playing in her head like a broken record.

_I am not attracted to you enough to be even remotely tempted._

It was the last thought in her mind before sleep overtook her.

* * *

She didn't remember how she got here. 

The last thing she could recall was lying in her bed in Lapland, tossing and turning, but suddenly she was somewhere wholly else - a dark, empty office in her workplace. She could see the lights of downtown Madrid twinkling like the night sky from the window.

The fact that she had magically travelled more than 4,000 kilometers did not amaze her as much as the realization that she was not alone. She could feel a male body around her, radiating warmth, surrounding all her senses. She was sitting astride his lap on an office chair, and his granite-hard arms had her locked in place. 

She had no idea who he was, just that she was desperately, achingly turned on. The air around them was electrified. She soon became aware of the reason the tension was as taut as a bow string. He was straining against his trousers, and the hard bulge was pressing insistently against her thigh.

The realization made her feel heady and disoriented. She began looking around, trying to make sense of her surroundings, starting at the identity of her companion. Her eyes drifted to his face.

She gasped when she finally recognized the ever-familiar brown of his eyes.

_Sergio._

The raw desire in his eyes was enough to knock the air out of her lungs. She had never seen him like this. Instinctively, she tried to pull away, but he didn't let her. His grip on her hips only tightened and he simply studied her with an indulging gaze as her chest breathlessly heaved.

Then, the impossible happened and he brought his hand up to lovingly caress her cheek.

"You are _divine_ ," he whispered, like he actually, sincerely meant it.

"What are you doing?" she choked out, the impossibility of this all making her head spin. "I thought you didn't want me in this way."

He answered with four, earthmoving words.

_"And you believed me?"_

Raquel did not know how to react to this other than by squirming in his hold, trying to flee from his too-knowing eyes. But that only caused the friction on her throbbing cunt to heighten, and she ended up panting, now placed directly on top of his erection. 

He grabbed her by the wrists, keeping her in place. But he didn't have to do that anymore. She was practically clinging to him now, fighting against every instinct not to bear down and grind on him.

"You think it is such an ordeal, working for me," he murmured, his strong hands splaying her legs further apart. Raquel was powerless to defy, even if she had wanted to. "That every second spent in my presence is torture."

His hands slowly slid up her legs, caressing the bare skin like fine satin. Only when Sergio's fingers reached the hem of her sleep shorts did she realize she was only wearing her pyjamas as opposed to his suit.

"But you know absolutely nothing about true _torture_ ," he rasped out, holding onto her like something immeasurably precious. It made her shiver, more than she already was in breathless anticipation of what was to come.

At once, the adoring caress of her pyjama shorts turned into violent distaste. His fist bunched around the fabric and _yanked_.

This caused the lower half of Raquel's most expensive sleepwear to tear, and what was left of it was discarded to the ground like rubbish. But she did not care, far from it. All she could do was count her own frantic heartbeats as Sergio snaked his hand between their bodies.

Without warning, he cupped her cunt in the palm of his hand. The contact made her desperate, even more so as she felt him explore the wetness of her underwear with his thumb.

"For me?" he asked, pretending not to know.

Raquel did deign him with a response.

He moved on with his hand to study the lacy edge of her panties like an intriguing curiosity.

"My god, the wardrobe you have for this trip…," he drawled, sounding almost amazed. "Makes me wonder if it is all for me."

"Oh, you think highly of yourself," Raquel couldn't help but quip.

In response, he pulled at the fabric, making it tighten between her pussy lips. The friction against her already sensitive clit made her nearly see stars.

"Think again," he said, trailing his beautiful finger around the fabric. "Tell me the truth." 

While waiting for her answer, he began rubbing the pad of his thumb just around her most sensitive bundle of nerves until she felt like she was going to pass out.

"Tell me the truth," he urged, withholding the pleasure like a treat from a pet who had not done the trick yet.

She parted her lips, but before she even had time to give him her answer, he applied direct pressure on her clit and she nearly came right there and then from the sheer relief.

"Yes, yes, yes," she sobbed against his shoulder, clinging onto him with her dear life.

"Good girl," he murmured, almost soothingly, before slowly pulling her panties aside, exposing her to him. Raquel now pressed against him with abandon, aching with emptiness.

Then, the distinct, delicious sound of him unzipping his pants filled the room.

It was the last thing Raquel heard before jerking awake in her bed, soaked in sweat.

* * *

A ice cold shower was the very first thing on her agenda.

She had sprinted away like a frightened deer before Sergio could look her in the eye and now she was standing here, safely locked inside the bathroom, shivering under the freezing stream. The punishment was suitable for whatever part inside her controlled the topics of her dreams. 

Just thinking about what she had dreamed of made her burn like thousand suns.

First the almost kiss and now this. The reason she had not jumped from the roof yet for the mortification of it all was the tiny voice in the back of her head that was trying to rationalize it all and make her feel better. 

She had simply been without sex for far too long. Her lizard brain did not care that it was _Sergio_. It simply saw him as a big, delicious chunk of masculine meat whose hands it wanted all around her. She was sure that if she was forced to be in the proximity of any other male colleague, she would want to shove her tongue deep into their throats just as badly.

Perhaps not Daniel though. Nor Andrés. 

She sighed, defeated, stepping out of the shower with a persistent ache still between her legs. She was going to get hypothermia if she spent any longer in the shower trying to get rid of it.

The reason she was still on the edge was probably because that damn dream had ended too soon. 

Not that she had wanted that travesty to go on for any longer. 

She absolutely refused to touch herself. She wouldn't allow Sergio that kind of power, even if he wasn't aware of it. She repeated this sentiment to the reflection in her mirror several times as well just to drive the point properly in.

She reached for the rack on top of which she usually placed her towel, only to end up fumbling for nothing. She turned and saw the towel missing.

In her hurry to get to the shower as fast as humanly possible, she must have forgotten to grab it.

 _Fuck_.

She looked around frantically, trying to catch the sight of something that could get her from here back to the room. She could put her pyjamas back on, but since the fabric was light and white, she might as well waltz out completely naked because wearing those while drenched was as good as wearing nothing at all. 

Finally, she saw a hand towel. It was the size of a glorified napkin, but it would have to do. It at least covered her most critical bits.

So she pressed the hand towel against her chest and skittered back to her room with the speed of a human thunderbolt. 

Thankfully, no one had come across her in the hallway, and from the corner of her eye, she had not seen Sergio either as she had dashed to her own bed. He must be in the common area already.

But then she heard a sound that resembled frighteningly much like a strangled whimper.

She turned and saw Sergio sitting on the edge of his bed, frozen, staring into nothingness like he was the sole survivor of a plane crash.

He had most definitely just seen her entire uncovered backside. 

In reaction to this, she let out a sound that was so mortifyingly high-pitched that it would easily make the 'most embarrassing moments of her life' list if she hadn't already flashed him her bare ass and thus overthrown the whole list. She dove under the covers of her bed.

She stayed there until Sergio left the room and then for a few hours more, just to make sure her skin would not catch fire when exposed to the outside air. 

* * *

She dressed and went for a long walk before being able to face Sergio again. She feared she would combust from the sheer embarrassment if he even glanced at her before she was ready.

She felt relatively prepared by the time she came back, but even that evaporated when she saw what Sergio had put up in their room while she had been gone; A giant sheet hung from the ceiling to cover her side of the room. Most likely to ensure that what had happened in the morning would never, ever happen again. Or at least, that he wouldn't see it.

At first, she felt irritated. It was such an immature retaliation. She thought about flinging her underwear over to his side just get back at him before reconsidering the whole situation.

God, what if he thought she had done it on purpose?

He could have arrived at the conclusion that his denouncement of her attractiveness might have given rise to some weird competitive streak in her, and that she was now trying to make him take his words back by doing her everything to give him a boner.

It was humiliating. She picked up her phone to text him and assure him that no, she had not replaced their staring matches with some cockteasing challenge, but then she saw she had received a text from him instead.

_Since we spent approximately 1,5 hours locked in that closet together, I have deemed it acceptable for us to spend only half an hour together today. To make best use of this time, I have decided to have your performance evaluation today instead of January as usual. Report back to me at 18:00 and I'll conduct it in the presence of others._

A performance review? During a vacation? _In presence of others?_ What did he think, that she was going to lift her shirt up for him the second he walked through the doors?

Raquel saw red.

If he thought she was going to stick around to listen him detail all her shortcomings, he was sorely mistaken.

She went from her texts to her contacts and scrolled down to the letter 'M'.

It was time to put Sergio out of her mind once and for all and achieve the true purpose of this trip.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!

Mikael was extremely glad to hear from her. Almost too glad, which suggested her that the man had been struggling with a similar kind of problem as her for the past year. She supposed there were not too many pretty single women out here for him to try and charm. 

He was more than happy to get someone to cover his shift and take Raquel for drinks. Promising. But in case he wouldn't understand what she was after, she put on the most daring outfit she could piece together from the garments she had took with her. She did not have a black little dress like she might have imagined wearing while waltzing past Sergio and out of the door in, but she did have a pair of tight slacks and a lacy top that made her breasts look like two round baby bunnies desperate to free themselves from the confines of the fabric.

She did an experimental little jiggle. Perfect. If this outfit didn't do the trick, she didn't know what would. The fact that Sergio saw her as an androgynous blob of grey mass, no matter what she was wearing, didn't mean Mikael _would_.

After applying a thick layer of lipstick redder than sin and putting on her high heels, she left the room, confident in her ability to slay a man dead just by looking at him.

When she arrived in the living room, Daniel seemed to be holding some kind of a presentation on the elusive nature of the Northern Lights and how they had stay alert of any sudden weather changes in order to catch them. Sergio was already sitting on the kitchen table, his laptop placed neatly in front of him. He had probably been looking forward to this. Perhaps chances to berate Raquel were something he marked on the calendar like major holidays.

It was a shame to spoil his fun, but then again - it really wasn't. 

Without acknowledging her, she walked to the mirror in the hallway to not-so-subtly check the state of her hair. Silence descended on the room as others saw what she was wearing. She felt tempted to glance over her shoulder just to check how Sergio had reacted, but deemed it more dignified not to.

There was no need for that, however. The second she grabbed her coat Sergio was by her side, huffing and puffing.

"Where do you think you are going? Didn't you get my message?"

"I did," she said sweetly, turning around to face Sergio. He looked interestingly pale, his eyes lingering on her mouth. My my my, did he want the name of her lipstick? It was no use though, the color wouldn't suit him at all.

"And?" he said, his eyes shifting from her lips to the rest of her body. He seemed to turn even paler.

"I have to take a raincheck on that. I am going on a date."

"On a date," he repeated, tasting the word on his mouth like it was a piece of vocabulary in a foreign language. Raquel simply curled her red lips into a taunting smile in response and turned to check her appearance in the mirror one last time. 

"With who?" he added after Raquel had ignored his frowning and scowling too long for his liking.

"Didn't I tell you about that ski instructor asking me out?"

"Oh yes, Mateo," Sergio said, crossing his arms.

"Mikael."

"Something like that. Tell me, how does he have time for a date? Doesn't he have tourists to indoctrinate with his poor skiing methods?"

"He took a night off. People can do that, you know."

The crease in his forehead was now deep enough to hold dimes. "How easily someone takes a night off can tell you a lot about his character, you know." 

Raquel bit back a laugh. "I know you wouldn't take a night off for me, but Mikael, funnily enough, seems to be attracted to me enough to be tempted."

She could almost hear the vein in his head straining not to pop at that. There was a loud slurp audible in the room as Silene finished her fizzy drink while intently gaping at the two of them.

The others seemed just as interested about the interaction. Raquel gave them a quick glare. _This was between her and Sergio._

"Well, too bad he took a night off for nothing because you are going to have to cancel," Sergio said, snatching the coat off her hands.

She snatched it right back. "And why would I do that?"

"Because I already reserved this time with you."

"Oh you wouldn't want to make me miss a hot date because of a performance evaluation, would you?

The dark look in his eyes told her that was exactly what he wanted to do.

"This was the only day that worked for him, I can't just cancel," she lied.

Sergio took an intimidating step toward her. "What makes him more entitled to your time than me?"

"It is not a competition," she said cheekily, hoping to rile him up. 

"Indeed. It is not even a competition," he said with a low, gravelly voice.

This sent a dark chill down Raquel's spine. She didn't like this sensation one bit.

She put on the coat quickly, suddenly feeling self-conscious showing this much skin around Sergio. 

"Well, y- you can't stop me," she said, stammering a little.

Sergio let out a sigh. "No, I cannot."

Raquel pursed her lips in displeasure. It almost disappointed her how brief of a time he had fought her on this.

"I will have the evaluation when you are back. Don't stay out too late," he said said, turning around to walk back to his little work station.

Raquel smiled. "Sorry, but is very likely I will spend the night."

This made him freeze midway through. The sight of his shoulder muscles turning rigid was a joy.

"Ah, here he is," she smiled as she heard the sound of a honk outside. "Bye everyone, don't wait up!"

She skittered through the door outside where Mikael was already waiting outside his car. She stopped at the porch to wave at him.

But before she could step down onto the ground, the door opened behind her. Sergio stepped out and grabbed her by the sleeve as to either catch her attention or to keep her from leaving.

"Ah, the student of Finnish," Mikael commented, looking less than pleased about seeing him again. "Are you seeing her off, father with a shot-gun style?"

"This will only take a moment. You can start up the car already so she doesn't freeze," Sergio said with a frosty tone.

Mikael rolled his eyes but obeyed, climbing back inside the car to turn it on. He probably hadn't realized not to shut down the engine.

"What more do you want?" Raquel said sharply, turning to him.

Sergio stared at her intently for a moment before opening his mouth.

"Remember who you come to when it doesn't feel as good with him," he answered with a colorless voice.

He then let go of her sleeve and walked back inside, leaving the words hanging in the air.

Raquel felt uncomfortably shivery, probably because of the chill in the air. She twisted the coat tighter around her.

"You ready?" Mikael shouted from inside the car.

"Yeah," Raquel said, somewhat unsurely and dashed down to the car as if afraid she would change her mind if she stayed a moment longer.

* * *

Mikael was… 

Mikael was quite something.

The fact that he was able to tick off the majority of relationship red flags just during the first thirty minutes of their date was astonishing on its own, but what really won the pot was the fact that he had not asked even a single question from Raquel this far.

But it was alright. It was what he had in his pants she was interested in, not his less than stellar personality. After Alberto, her standards for men were low.

She just wished she could focus on what he was saying and at least pretend to be attentive and entertained so that he'd be more inclined to take her back to his apartment later. But her mind kept wandering.

All she could think about was Sergio and his words.

_Remember who you come to when it doesn't feel as good with him._

That had to be in reference to their conversation in the closet and how he was a better teacher than Mikael. But what did that have to do with her date?

 _When_ , not _if_. What was he trying to imply? That he just knew she was going to have a bad time?

Leaving that lingering in her mind had certainly been one way to sabotage her. That asshole, knowing just what to say to ruin her date in advance. He must have a sixth sense for just the right thing to do to render into a frustrated, jittery mess.

While pondering all this she was steadily demolishing the basket of fries Mikael had ordered to their table. 

"Ummm, should we order more?" he asked, making Raquel realize that he had not said anything in a while, and that she had emptied the basket all by herself.

She had committed the crucial first date mistake of revealing that she, as a woman, enjoyed food. She better make up for this by only daintily sipping at her cocktail for the rest of the night.

"Oh no, there is no need," she said, giggling. "Sorry, I must have been a little peckish."

 _Little peckish._ God, she wanted to kill herself. But that would have to wait until she had at least gotten laid.

"I insist," Mikael said and gestured to the waitress.

Ah, perhaps he wasn't such a twit after all. Raquel smiled brightly at him.

"It seems that something is on your mind. Care to divulge?" he then asked.

What a twist. First he had ordered her more food and now he was asking about her? Her low bar was surpassed by leaps and bounds. 

"It's just something my boss said before I left. It is bothering me a little."

"Oh?" he asked, sounding oddly irked.

"He wouldn't let me go on this date with you."

He frowned. "How is that any of his business?"

"Exactly!" Raquel exclaimed. "I have no idea what's up his ass today."

She proceeded with a rant about Sergio, detailing exactly what kind of a prick he had been through the years they had worked together, from the day after the Christmas party when his hostility had first started up to the way he had acted before she had left with Mikael.

Throughout all this, Mikael's expression had turned from curious to mildly suffering. It annoyed Raquel.   
He could tolerate her talking about herself for a while just this once. 

When she finally stopped to draw in a breath and reached for a fry in the new basket they had been delivered, she found the greasy treats cold and flabby. Weird.

She whipped her head around as she suddenly heard familiar laughter. Three new people had just arrived through the doors of the pub: Ágata, Silene and Mónica. 

They giggled and gave Raquel a little wave, not even trying to be subtle. Raquel watched with mild horror as the group took a booth with a direct view to her and Mikael's table. They had come to spy on her date. Crap, now she actually had to pretend she was having a good time.

"But enough about me," she said and laid a hand on Mikael's arm. This seemed to vastly improve his mood. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

This was the point Raquel was supposed to come up with some brilliant question that would both flatter him and also dazzle him with her insight. Too bad she was blanking.

There was one thing that had been nagging at her. She would ask that one before the silence stretched out uncomfortably long.

"What did my boss tell you in Finnish back at the slope?"

Mikael's face fell a little for a reason Raquel could not understand.

"It must have been something funny since you were so amused. Tell me, how did he bungle?" she added.

"Oh yes," Mikael said, now a little more attentive. "He bungled, all right.

Raquel leaned in closer.

"He told me that he had learned Finnish for this trip and that it was beautiful in this town, and how he wished he could stay for longer."

She quirked her eyebrow, waiting for the punchline.

"The funny bit was with the way he pronounced the name Kuusitunturi. He said something that sounded more like "Kusitynnyri" which means…" he grinned before revealing the answer. "A barrel of piss."

Raquel's eyes widened.

"So what he was really saying was that 'It is so beautiful here in a barrel of piss. Two weeks is too short a time to spend in a barrel of piss'."

Well, that was actually pretty funny. Raquel let out perhaps an exaggeratedly loud laugh, rubbing his arm. Hopefully the girls would see this.

"What did you talk about after that? Did you correct him on his mistake?" she asked.

"Ah, it would have been a crime to deny that amusement from every other Finnish person he says that name to," he chuckled.

Raquel frowned a little at that. Not correcting Sergio and letting him keep embarrassing himself was less funny.

"No, he simply asked me to take care of you because you were his best employee yadda yadda yadda. I promised him and then he was off. His vocabulary was fine and his grammar decent, but he really, really needs to work on his pronunciation-

Raquel's heart skipped a beat.

"Wait, what did he say?"

"He told me to take care of you."

"No, after that."

"Umm, that you were his best employee?"

Once again, her heart stopped beating just for a fraction of a second. Then, there was a weird, clutching sensation in her throat. After that, she began feeling itching behind her eyelids.

The next thing she knew, she had burst into tears right in front of Mikael.

He did not know what to say, he just stared at her speechlessly before quickly glancing around him as if looking for the camera filming this and trying to include him in some weird internet prank.

She knew she had screwed up. She knew she had to stop crying right now in order to salvage the situation. But she couldn't. The tears simply kept on coming like a years-old dam had come down.

In just a few seconds, Ágata, Silene and Mónica had leaped up from their seats and marched up to their table.

"What the hell did you say to her?" Ágata hissed.

"You and me, outside," Silene said, bunching the cuff of Mikael's shirt inside her fist.

"Wait, what? I didn't do anything," Mikael protested. 

Mónica had turned on her phone and was typing something on it.

"Should I call him like he asked-"

"Don't. We can handle this by ourselves," Silene said, just tightening her grip of Mikael while Ágata set her arm comfortingly around Raquel.

"It's okay, we'll take you away from him."

"No, he really did not do anything," Raquel sniffled. "It is just that-"

Her eyes filled with tears again and she choked on her words as a gaggle of new sobs rose within her.

God, she was pathetic. But years and years of not receiving a single word of validation from Sergio did this to a person. All along, she had genuinely thought that she was his lousiest employee. That everything she did was worthless in his eyes, no matter how well she thought she had done.

Not once had he told her the truth. That he actually consider her his best.

"Look, I'd rather not get mixed in with…. whatever this thing is between you and your boss," Mikael said, rising from the table. "All I wanted was to fool around a bit."

"Aren't you the gentleman," Ágata spat.

Mikael scowled at that. "I don't care what you think. I don't stick my dick in crazy."

"Good luck finding someone able to stand your narcissistic, patronizing drivel long enough to sleep with you," Raquel shot back. "Hope you make some reindeer very happy one day."

Mikael flashed them his middle finger before turning around to march out.

Blessedly, Silene was able to hit the back of his head with the basket of cold fries before he was able to step out.

* * *

Raquel ended up walking back to the cabin, manless, which took a painful amount of time considering that she was wearing high heels and there was at least three inches of snow on the ground. Luckily she had Ágata, Silene and Mónica to wrench her out whenever she got stuck, though these instances did not exactly help to improve the pathetic opinion she held of herself.

Finally back inside, she strongly considered just spending the night on the couch no matter how inhospitable it was designed to be. She couldn't bear the humiliation of slinking back to the room she shared with Sergio and reveal to him that Mikael did not find her fuckable either.

But when she walked over to the couch, it was already occupied. There was Sergio sleeping on it.

He was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing during the day and he had a phone clutched in his hand. It almost looked like he had fallen asleep while waiting for something.

"Look," Raquel chuckled, wiping the tears from her eyes and pointing him out to the girls. "I bet he fell asleep waiting for green light from the corporate to fire me. Me going on a date instead of watching his powerpoint presentation of my faults must have been the last straw."

The others did not laugh at the quip. 

"No, he fell asleep waiting for us to text him. I forgot to send him a message that everything was alright," Mónica explained, looking embarrassed at having kept him up.

"What?"

"While we were talking about your date and saying how curious we were about how it was going, he asked us to go check up on you and text him if everything looked normal. Or call him if we suspected that Mikael was not treating you well."

So it had been Sergio who had who had sent the others to spy on her. It made sense… expect that it didn't. Why did he care?

"Why would he want know the live status of my date? Surely he doesn't care _that_ much that I'd have a bad time," Raquel muttered, shedding off her coat. When she did that, he noticed that Sergio's own coat and shoes were placed right next to the couch as if in standby. The sight made her frown.

"I think he was just worried. He told us that if we called him, he would be there at once."

"But what for?"

Silene answered for Mónica. "To castrate him, of course."

"Silene!"

"What? It was not like he was just going to give him a stern scolding, we all know how Sergio feels about any guy who-"

Silene was silenced by a jab to her ribs by Ágata.

Lord, this was all giving her a headache. She ended up sitting on the footstool next to sleeping Sergio to regain her balance.

"But why would he want to do that?"

Mónica shrugged. "I don't know. The way he talked about him made me think he didn't trust him one bit but I have no idea why. He doesn't even know the guy."

This made Silene and Ágata share a knowing look Raquel did not even want to begin to decipher. She simply sniffled a little, tears once again welling up in her eyes. Not even watching Sergio feed Mikael his own testicles would have improved her wretched night.

"I'm sorry you had a bad date," Ágata said, rubbing at her shoulder soothingly.

"He was a tool anyway," Raquel muttered. "My only regret is that I did not manage to finish my fries. Those were some heavenly fries."

This made her bury her head in her hands and let out a sob.

"What does it tell about me that I weep more after some fries rather than a handsome guy who could have given me some well-earned attention?"

"It is only a good thing you did not stay with Mikael. That guy was an asshole," Ágata murmured.

"Yes, but what if this had happened during a date with some normal, nice guy? I would have still burst into tears when he'd told me what Sergio had said. "She paused to scowl. "God, he'd rather tell this total stranger that I am his best employee than say it to my face. What a bastard."

This made the girls gather around her and give her a tight hug. Raquel let out a snotty chuckle.

"It is okay. This is not the first nor the last time Sergio has made me cry."

"But that shouldn't happen in the first place!" Mónica protested and the others nodded.

"Impossible. He feeds on my misery," Raquel said, wiping her eyes with her knuckles.

"We could totally report him to HR for not acknowledging your input."

Raquel sighed. "Don't. I am not going to let him hear how much he makes me suffer, that would probably just put a smile on his face. This fight is between me and him,"

She laid her eyes on Sergio who was still asleep, not having stirred even a little during all this. 

"He is rather cute like this, lost to the world. Not glowering, not committing acts of emotional terrorism…" she said, smiling a sad little smile. 

"You should try giving him a kiss, see if he wakes up," Silene suggested cheekily.

"Oh yes, he would hate that. Though I doubt that he would wake up, and I am not going to risk him turning into some handsome prince right before our eyes. That would be hard to explain to the others," she chuckled.

That had given given her an idea, however. She reached into her purse, took out her red lipstick and walked over to Sergio. She kneeled in front of him and painted the shape of lips on his forehead.

"That will drive him absolutely nuts once he wakes up," she explained. "Some amusement for tomorrow."

Giggling, they said goodnight and left for their respective bedrooms.

* * *

What they didn't see was Sergio clambering up after they had gone, fully awake. On his face was the look of uttermost distress.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a struggle, not going to lie. I had to rework it according some feedback I got (if you are one of the people who expressed their issues, don't worry, everything should be addressed here) and it took longer than I thought. But on the positive side, this chapter is twice as long as usual!
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, should be back to the regular schedule now

Andrés was having some difficulty sleeping.

He and his husband had gone to the only good local restaurant to sample some Finnish wines and they had ended up indulging a bit too much, but this did not end up in a way he might have hoped. Martín had collapsed on the bed like a chopped tree trunk and fallen asleep before Andrés could do as much as kiss him.

Alcohol did not have such an effect on him so he ended up laying awake, listening to his husband snuffle, growing increasingly frustrated about his inability to join him. On top of that, there was annoying noise coming from the living room at a time no one had any right to make annoying noise in the living room.

Finally, he ended up leaping up from the bed and marching out of the room to see who was the cause for the commotion.

Not soon after, he detected it was his own brother. He was frantically looking for something in the living room, throwing down pillows from the couch and magazines from the table.

He let out a long, pained groan. What was it now?

Sergio had been relatively calm after Raquel had left for her date, an interesting air of smugness around him. It was like something a poker player would radiate just after his opponent had revealed his losing hand. When asked about his unusual mood, he simply answered that Mikael was an ass and that Raquel would surely be here by the end of the night and they would have their performance review.

But that had changed when Andrés had started trash-talking Mikael.

He had thought he was just boosting his little brother’s rare confidence by putting Mikael down. He had said that Mikael seemed just the kind of a guy who only pretended to be charming to get laid and that he probably taught Raquel the wrong posture on purpose so that he could get a nicer view of her ass. This did not comfort Sergio. The opposite happened, and he was suddenly agitated, muttering something about knowing Mikael was bad news and cursing at himself for letting Raquel go so easily. He ended up planting his ass on the couch with his face pale with worry, staring out of the window as if hoping for Raquel’s return any moment.

The girls were not of the similar sentiment at all, gossiping and giggling about the whole thing. Before long, they had started to discreetly put on their coats with the unmistakable intention to sneak out and go spy on Raquel. That was when Sergio had stirred from his odd trance and asked the girls to let him know if Raquel was doing okay. The trio had gawked at Sergio with knowing smiles which amused Andrés but did not seem to bring any sort of reaction out of Sergio. His face remained stiff and serious.

The girls had left and Sergio prepared himself as if for a sudden exit, lay down on the couch, and resumed glaring at the window. Andrés called him an idiot and reminded him that Raquel was a trained police officer to which Sergio answered that he knew and that he was not worried, while looking very worried.

That was when Andrés had given up. Sergio had slipped into the world of anxiety where no amount of logic or sense would put him at ease. He might as well let him do whatever made him feel useful.

He had gone back downstairs with Martín only fifteen minutes later after deciding to go to the restaurant. By that time, Sergio had already been snoring on the couch.

His tiredness had overridden his worry. He must have not gotten a wink of sleep staying in the same room as Raquel and now that she was finally out, it was lights out for his brother within minutes.

But now Sergio was awake again, agitated and full of desperate energy by the looks of it. It was strange, considering that Sergio must have woken up when the girls had come back and gotten his confirmation that Raquel was fine. They had made some unholy noise and even Andrés had snapped awake upstairs.

Andrés frowned while looking at Sergio. What was he going to do, go kick Mikael’s ass four hours after the fact? Or knowing his brother, it was more likely he would go make a formal complaint to Mikael’s boss.

Andrés decided to investigate. He descended the stairs to where Sergio was currently huffing and puffing trying to find something.

When Sergio lifted his head as he saw his brother approach, Andrés could see the mark on his forehead. It was as if he had been kissed there by someone wearing a particular shade of red on her lips. It made him instantly break out into a bright smile. Had Raquel been that touched that he had been such a worrywart?

He should use that tactic with Martín.

“You’ve got a little…” he chuckled, tapping at his own forehead.

Sergio glared at him in response and resumed his search.

“Where are you going at this hour? You do realize that duels typically start only at the break of dawn? That means you'll still have…" he checked his watch. "Eight hours before Mikael shows up. God I hate this place."

Sergio pretended not to hear him but Andrés was so satisfied with the little joke he'd come up with that he couldn't give up on it yet.

"Tell me, did he choose pistols or swords?"

"God, Andrés, are you just going to stand there talking shit or help me find the car keys?"

Andrés stooped down with a sigh and made a courtesy look under the couch. "What do you need the car for?"

"Fries."

"Fries?” Andrés repeated.

"Yes, I am going to get some fries from the pub. What is so hard to understand about that?"

“First of all, I am pretty sure everything closes at 9 in this place. And secondly, why would you want fries at 4 am? Are you pregnant or something?"

“It is none of your business.”

Andrés smirked. “So you are. Is Raquel the father? That would be awkward, given that whole nemesis thing you have going on — "

"Goddammit, I am just going to walk," Sergio said, shooting up to his feet. He instantly made true of his threat and started marching toward the door.

Andrés jogged after him, now wearing a frown.

“Are the fries for Raquel?” he asked carefully as soon as he caught up with his brother.

Sergio's expression flickered as always when he struck close to gold. Bingo.

"If she asks, they are not from me," he muttered and turned back toward the door. Andrés grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him right back.

"Is this one of those things you do for her without ever revealing it? You do realize that you are not some guardian angel of hers, right?"

“All I am saying is that if she asks—”

"If she asks I am gonna tell her that it was Sergio that got you to these fries at 4 am because he is a fucking a weirdo."

Sergio wrenched his hand away from his collar. Andrés responded by grabbing it instantly again.

So the two ended up engaging in a small brotherly wrestling match. It resulted in no more than a bruised ego from Andrés' part. For a little brother, Sergio was freakishly strong and he did not like that the more the years went by, more often he ended up winning.

"This is why mom always said you were gonna grow up to be a serial killer," Andrés murmured, stepping away to rub at his arm that Sergio had almost twisted out of its socket. "Doing shit like this for her… You are going to end up as a prime suspect if she ever goes missing."

"You are the only one who knows. What are you going to do, testify against me?" Sergio said, still swinging his fists in the air as expecting another attack from his brother.

" _ Only one _ who knows," Andrés chuckled, the rumbling sound coming deep down from his throat. "Oh Sergio, you sweet little lamb."

This resulted in Sergio charging at him which Andrés had prepared for. He ended up getting his hands around a fistful of Sergio's shirt.

"Tell. Her," he hissed right at his face, now serious, while holding him from his shirt front.

"Tell her what?" he asked, an unforgivingly hard look in his eyes.

It was useless. Andrés let out a deep sigh and released his brother. He staggered back a few steps before regaining his balance.

"Alright, alright. You go walk all the way to the town, bribe the pub owner to fry you some potatoes in the middle of the night, walk back here and plant those fries on her nightstand. In the end, the fries will be cold and soggy and she will be confused. I'll let you do all that if you tell me, what are these soggy fries going to help? How is that going to make her hate you any less?"

Sergio clearly had no good answer to give him.

"She was talking about fries when she came back and I _ — _ "

When his words faltered, he stared into nothingness for a moment as if not sure what he had even wanted to say in the first place. In the end, he ended up sliding down onto the couch like runny egg yolk.

"What else can I do for her?" he finally whispered.

Andrés blinked.

Sergio continued with a hollow voice. "She came back, crying because of me. I make her miserable and the only thing I can do for her… is get her some fries."

Andrés watched his brother bury his head in his hands, a weight suddenly pressing on his stomach.

It had not been fun, witnessing him like this for the past few years. And it was not fair either. It was not fair to either him or her what he was forcing himself to do. Andrés did not understand it, but then again, he wasn't sure what he would have done if faced with the choice his brother had had to make. Actually, he knew exactly what he would have chosen and that was to screw everything. In all senses of the word. But Sergio wasn't him and he wasn't Sergio. He made his own decisions in accordance with what he wanted to do with his life.

Andrés certainly had opinions about what his little brother had decided to do with his life, but he wasn't about to start that argument once again.

Instead, he simply sat next to him on the couch and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

There they sat together in silence for a while.

"I am not going to go get those fries," Sergio finally said.

"Good. I would have punched you if you had even tried," Andrés said with a smile.

Sergio then told him what he was going to do for her instead. Andrés found himself nodding along with the first part of the plan but scowling at the second one.

“This is probably the worst choice you will ever make, but I can’t stop you," he finally muttered, realizing that he would never succeed in changing his mind.

Sergio gave him a sad little look in response.

"No, it is the only choice I have."

* * *

The next morning, Raquel woke up before anyone else and sneaked out of the cabin. Sergio was no longer on the couch and she supposed he must have woken up sometime over the night and gone to sleep in his own bed. It was a good thing, she wouldn’t have to be extra careful while tiptoeing across the common area to the door.

It was absolutely imperative that no one realized she had gone or where exactly she was heading. She had no good explanation to give if suddenly confronted about it. She wasn’t sure whether they would even believe her if she told them.

The truth was that she was going to go skiing.

Voluntarily.

Practicing in secret was the only way she would ever become good enough to render Sergio speechless. She knew he would insist on teaching her the next time the group headed to the slopes and Raquel would show him. She would do the perfect descent in perfect form right in front of his eyes.

There would be absolutely no need for any waist touching and other bewildering things. That would never happen again, she would make sure of it.

She couldn't wait to see his face when she was finally able to follow him even to that one black diamond slope. She would simply have to train… a little bit first.

The only problem was that she wasn't exactly too keen on running into Mikael who was probably already up, teaching other tourists not to die. She only wanted to face him when she was good enough, and using a technique that was far from the one he had taught her while at it. Perhaps she would even ski past him with Sergio and do a little wave.

Yes, she had reached the point in her life where she was willing to cozy up to Sergio of all people in order to annoy someone she’d had a terrible date with. She wasn't sure if she should view it as a new low or simply another twist in her unnecessarily convoluted life.

There was one way to avoid Mikael and it was using a slope that was not "technically" in use. In her mind, it did not really matter what route she managed to come down as long as she managed to come down. Besides, if they didn't want her to use her, how come it was covered in smooth snow like the others?

So she practiced there, happy that there were no other people around to see her take a tumble every once in a while. After some hours, she had advanced enough to ski down two times without ending up face down, her mouth full of snow.

Perhaps tomorrow, she would be able to ski down two times while looking sexy. Or, as sexy as you could look in this sport.

She returned to the cabin with flushed cheeks and mussed hair, hoping that Sergio would think this was her first time coming back after her date. He most likely wouldn't, if he'd had enough sense to part the sheet and check whether Raquel was soundly asleep in her bed when he went back to his own. But a girl could dream.

But when she went to their room, she saw Sergio was not there. In fact, on closer inspection it seemed that he had not slept in his bed at all last night.

Another vanishing act from him. How fun.

Raquel changed her clothing and went to the kitchen where the others were already having breakfast, determined not to pay any mind to his disappearance this time.

It took two minutes and 11 seconds before she asked the others where they thought he had gone. None of them had any idea.

"So how was your date?" asked Daniel, changing the subject.

"Quite bad actually," Raquel said while munching on her cereal. "He turned out to be a prick."

Daniel's excited smile fell into a frown.

"Do you want us guys to pay him a visit?" he then asked, looking dead serious. Mónica rolled her eyes next to him.

Raquel smiled. "There is no need. I can take care of myself. And someone should tell that to Sergio too."

"Oh, he was so worried it was adorable," Bogotá chuckled which prompted everyone to recount the events of last night down to their most painstaking details.

Raquel felt like she was sitting on hot coals the whole time. There was some new information and listening to it made her feel weird so she repeatedly tried to steer the topic of conversation into a different direction. It was no use, Sergio expressed human emotions so rarely that when he did, it would cover all the topics of conversation for a whole week.

Finally, she had no choice but to excuse herself. She went back into her room, burrowed down under her covers and typed the familiar search word on youtube.

The thousandth viewing of her husband's arrest calmed her somewhat which was probably a very fucked-up sign about the state of her psyche. Her therapist would probably have something to say about the fact that she watched it every time she felt confused or lonely. But she'd rather postpone that conversation until later so she wouldn't have to let go of this handy coping mechanism quite yet.

"Hey Raquel, all of us are going to that spa hotel to see if they have any cheap treatments. Wanna come with?" Ágata asked, poking her head inside the room.

"I am a little tired," she answered absently, staring at the paused video on her phone.

Ágata did not seem to quite believe her. "Ring us if you decide to come after all."

She left her alone, and once she determined that the house was empty she proceeded to watch the video a few more times.

_ I hate you, _ Raquel whispered while staring at the confused face of Alberto as his colleagues approached him with handcuffs. But it felt like a lie. In truth, she no longer felt anything at all while she watched him. She might as well be watching the arrest of a stranger from a news broadcast.

It was a discontenting realization. Raquel put the phone away and turned to stare at the ceiling. She wondered what Alberto felt if his mind happened to drift to her right now.

He could feel nothing at all like her. Or he could hate her for testifying against him at the trial which must have added multiple months to his sentence. Or perhaps, most frighteningly, he still loved her. After all, she had felt his love in his words or his caress only moments after an act of violence.

Like the time he had swooped her in his arm, pointed at the night sky and asked her to pick one star he would go and fetch for her. This had been only half an hour after he slapped her after the events of that one Christmas party she would rather forget.

Raquel had always been afraid that Sergio had seen it even though it was impossible. The door had not completely closed after them when it had happened, and he had been standing nearby but he would have had to turn his head at the right hundredth fraction of a second to catch it. What made her wonder was the fact that he had never even feigned courtesy to Alberto after that. But it could only have been his response to the way Alberto treated him. Her husband had hated her boss' guts from the moment he had first shown up at her work to pick her up and had seen Sergio help her down the slippery stairs of the building.

“You do not deserve kindness,” he had simply spat when Raquel had spent half an hour in the car, trying to drill into his head that Sergio had just been trying to be kind.

Recalling all this made Raquel feel queasy. She better not dwell on these memories, that was for her therapy sessions.

Instead her mind decided to dwell on Mikael.

After her brain had convinced her that she would die alone, she decided that staying in this empty cabin was probably doing her more harm than good.

She called her daughter, after which she decided to walk to the spa and see if the others were still there.

But as she found her way to the town and saw the spa, she did not end up rushing to the doors. Instead, she walked right past it. She continued walking until the buildings got fewer and fewer and the road grew rockier and the altitude higher.

She would climb to the top of the fell, she had decided. Go the same route Martín had come down.

It was a long, arduous process but when she was finally up there, she was so glad she had chosen this over the spa treatments. The view was breathtaking.

To the left of her, the other arctic mountains rose from the ground as far as the eye could see, towering over the endless sea of snow-covered spruces. The world stretched out in front of her like the playground of an eagle. If she were to scream something at the top of her lungs, she felt it would be heard on the other side of the globe.

_ What are men to rocks and mountains _ , she remembered reading somewhere and it certainly struck a nerve in this very moment.

She lifted up her middle finger, directing it at Alberto. He would never climb here. He would never manage even a quarter of the things she would, trapped in that body of a miserable, hateful man he was.

She lifted up the middle finger of her other hand to Mikael and other failed romances. Screw them, screw love. She would be happy to live the rest of her life as a nun as long as she had a view like this.

She would no longer  _ fall _ in love, she decided. No, she would descend to it gracefully like an experienced skier  —  right when she wanted to, and just as she planned.

* * *

As she was walking back to the cabin, she became increasingly aware of a car driving slowly behind her.

It could be just someone driving carefully in the snowy roads or someone who had gotten lost on their way to the town. Still, Raquel wouldn’t take any chances. She stopped and turned to look at the car.

It had stopped as well, but some distance from her. It was hard to discern details about it amongst the snowflakes that had started swirling to the ground. When Raquel started walking again but with her eyes fixed on the vehicle, she saw it moving again.

It was just her luck to encounter the only rapist-slash-murderer in the sleepy town of Kuusitunturi. Unfortunately for the creep, he had probably picked the woman best equipped to deal with him in this whole region. She picked up a sharp, heavy rock from the side of the road. Hopefully she would be able to render him unconscious relatively quickly. She was rather cold and would love to use his car to warm up even if it meant she had to drive to the nearest police station with him tied up on the backseat.

As the car approached, she was able to just, and just, make out the appearance of the man on the driver’s seat. First, she could see a brown coat, then the dark fuzz of his hair and…

Oh, it was just Sergio. She let the rock fall out of her hand.

She was sure Sergio had, at times, wanted to kill her, but as long as he lived in a world where that would cost him his job he wasn’t going to do it. And as often as she fantasized about strangling him, she’d rather not go to the trouble either. Their relationship was the sort of lazy murderous passion.

Still, she wasn’t exactly eager to stick around and engage in any small talk. Her patience was too thin for him today. She quickened her pace, but that only resulted in Sergio stepping on the gas.

For fuck’s sake, what did he want now?

Briefly in her mind flashed a thought that he might see she was cold and wanted to offer her a ride. It was a bizarre sort of an intrusive thought and weeks ago she would have laughed it off. But today, it seemed a frighteningly sensible one. Sergio had been worried about her yesterday, and he had been doing all those nice things to her before that as well.

It was strange thinking about him in such a way. She almost wished she could go back to the blissful ignorance of thinking he was an alien with no redeemable qualities, and that he was only following her so that he could do the performance right here and now, while he was sitting in his heated seat and she was freezing her ass off. Not thinking of Sergio as a breathing, feeling human being was comforting in a way she couldn’t quite explain.

Perhaps it was because she was already in a rather miserable stage of her life. She’d rather that things stayed consistent.

She wasn’t sure whether she should keep walking, determined not to accept any help from her nemesis or just stop because it would be foolish to say no to a warm car. In the end, she ended up doing some combination of them both and stumbled like a drunkard in the snow. In no time, Sergio was by her side and was rolling down his window.

“You don’t have to—,” Raquel started but Sergio was faster.

"Could you stop moving?" he yelled, looking strangely agitated. Raquel saw he still had the lipstick mark on his forehead. He must not have looked in the mirror all day.

That certainly explained his uncombed hair and rumpled clothing as well.

She stopped moving, and Sergio proceeded to park the car as well as he could on this slippery road and stepped out of it.

Out of his mouth came the most unexpected and unsurprising thing at the same time.

“I need to do your performance review. It is long overdue.”

Oh fuck, she had hit the nail straight on the head with that one. Perhaps the world wasn’t such a scary new place after all.

"If you think we are doing this right now here of all places, you are out of your mind," she snapped.

In response, he seemed to take out his pocket something that looked like an evaluation form. Jesus. He was officially off his rocker.

"Section one. Expertise," he said, his gloveless hands trembling in the cold air as he held the paper.

Raquel bit back a sigh. "Sergio, with all due respect — "

"You know our customer base and software better than anyone in the entirety of the Madrid division and I strongly suspect the whole branch would go under if it weren't for you. Full points."

Raquel had frozen with her mouth open. It took some time to process his words, but even then, she was still flabbergasted. What was happening?

Sergio did not look up from his paper to gauge her reaction. "Section two. Quality of work. The way you handle everything from our biggest clients to the pettiest spreadsheets is so effortlessly smooth that it never ceases to amaze me. Your work is so good it forces me to improve my own. Full points."

Was she hallucinating all this? Had she collapsed because of hypothermia and was seeing and hearing things as a result?

"Section three. Dependability," Sergio went on as Raquel gaped at him. "You do not know this, but if I were to get incapacited, you are the one person I would put in charge. I would not even waste two seconds considering anyone else when your capability shines like a beam of light compared to candles. Full points.”

Raquel was starting to feel lightheaded. She felt the urge to get something solid underneath her, but there was nowhere to sit down. Sergio mercilessly drove on and she did not find the strength within herself to interrupt this dizzying flood of information.

"Section four. Attendance. Even when going through something no human should have to go through, when no one in your position should be expected to do so, even going against my wishes, you still showed to work every day and performed so well the corporate thought I was fudging the numbers to make you feel better. That was not me, that was just  _ you _ ."

Sergio had to take a little pause, as if to collect himself before continuing. "It is a mark of your incredible tenacity, and not just in this job which does not matter in the long run, but in life. Full points."

There was a lump rising menacingly in Raquel's throat. Oh god, what was he doing to her? How could she feel like this because of something  _ he  _ was saying to her?

"Sergio, what are you-"

But he went on without paying heed to her words.

"Final section. Punctuality. By my records, you have been only late twice. The latest incident was after your outfit had been soiled by a bird and you had to change. Yet, you were still able to carry out a flawless presentation that showcased exactly why you are my best employee."

He stopped to inhale, after having delivered the last section in one breathless rush.

"Full points on the last section. Overall, full points. This concludes the performance review."

A silence came down on them like a steel boot.

Raquel didn't have the faintest clue what to say. She was not even sure if her heart was still pumping blood into her veins and her lungs taking in oxygen.

Sergio had just told her everything she had needed to hear for years, but now that she finally knew what he truly thought about her work, she couldn't have been more bewildered and lost. Not to mention, emotional, despite the unforgivingly thick-skinned front she had always tried put on in front of him.

"Well, that took you long enough," she said, quickly sweeping her fingers past her eyes before crossing her arms again.

"As I said, it was long overdue," Sergio said while folding the form in his hands, his voice a deep and hoarse thing. "I have to apologize for not voicing these thoughts before. I thought… I thought that you recognized your worth because it was so obvious for everyone to see just good you were."

His sigh came out as a little cloud of smoke.

I now realize I was wrong. And I am so sorry."

Raquel would be lying if she claimed hearing this from  _ him  _ didn't feel as good as an orgasm. But she tried her hardest not to let it show. She blinked her eyes rapidly, chasing away the moisture and forced a triumphant smile on her face.

"So would you say I was the employee of the month?" she asked with a lilting voice.

Now she was only ribbing at him. There hadn't been an employee of the month since her first months working there. Sergio had stopped awarding it after detecting the resounding lack of enthusiasm for the title. Probably because the winner only got a gaudy medal. Raquel had certainly never wanted one, but what she really wanted was to hear it from Sergio's lips. The acknowledgment that she had truly been his best.

"You have been the employee of the month as long as I can remember," he breathed out.

Oh, she had been wrong. This felt so much better than an orgasm. She almost wanted to ask him to say that again, but refrained from doing so. She had to feign  _ some  _ humility.

"In fact, I have decided to resurrect the tradition," he said, turning back to the car and taking something from the front seat. It was a wide black velvet box. "The company never officially discontinued it so I am free to spend their money. So I would like to — "

God, she really hoped he wasn’t going to give her some tacky medal. That might just ruin the moment.

“I am not going to give you some tacky medal."

_ Ah _ .

"You have been the employee of the month most months since you have been with us. So I thought you deserved something more than plastic," he said, clearing his throat.

Raquel fully expected him to draw a bronze medal from the box, perhaps even a silver one, but instead, he spooled out a beautiful golden necklace with a small tear-shaped centerpiece.

"You can sell it if it is not to your taste," he said, gently placing the necklace into the bare palm of her hand. A tiny gasp tumbled from her lips. It had to because of the sensation of the gold metal against her skin.

_ It is perfect, _ she thought as her secret answer to his statement, looking down at it.

"I don't— I don't know if I can accept this," she protested, caressing the precious object in her hand.

"You can do whatever you want with it, but I am not taking it back."

Raquel lifted her gaze and looked at him, really looked at him.

_ Who was this strange man? Why did he do the things that he did? _

The more she stared at him with her piercing brown eyes, the more uncomfortable Sergio looked. This was the longest friendly-natured conversation they'd ever had and Sergio was clearly struggling with the novelty of the situation. He went from rubbing at the back of his neck to kicking snow with his foot.

"Do you want me to give you a ride back to the cabin?" he finally asked.

"No, that is alright. I am going to walk for a little while longer," she answered without thinking.

"If you are sure."

Raquel was not quite so sure as she watched him drive away, leaving her standing in the cold.

But in the end, being alone was a good thing.

This allowed her to curl her fingers around the necklace and press her hand against her chest, close her eyes and just  _ breathe  _ until her heart would stop racing like a wild animal.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long :(
> 
> The chapters are getting longer and more time is needed to get them ready for posting so I have decided to switch my update schedule from every two days to every three days. This should allow me to have some time to answer your comments too. I hope you understand. I am on twitter under @100blizzaurus if you want to see any announcements concerning this story or if you just want to have a chat about it!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

After arriving back at the cabin, Raquel dashed to her room before anyone could see the pleased flush of pink on her cheeks. Least of all Sergio.

The truth was that the performance review had boosted her spirits to the extent that she almost felt... warmth toward Sergio.

It was highly disturbing. She'd better dive under the privacy of her sheet-veiled half of the room before exposing the oddity that was her current frame of mind to the others.

But there she couldn't just stand still and let the disconcerting feeling pass. She kept fumbling with the necklace. The metal was warm and tinkling on her skin, almost inviting. She couldn't ignore it or put it away.

Before she even knew it, she had marched to the mirror and was holding the piece of jewelry in front of her, trying to see what it would look like on her.

Oh what the hell.

She unclasped the necklace and wound it around her neck. The golden teardrop came to rest below her collarbone. It was beautiful. 

Say what you want about him, Sergio Marquina had a really good taste. She looked at the necklace from different angles and always came to this same conclusion.

It must have been really expensive. Her other jewelry certainly paled in comparison and she knew the price tags of them down to the decimals. The company must have quite the budget for employee of the month recognition.

"Raquel! There is dinner!" Somebody called out through the door.

"Oh, coming!" she responded, already reaching for the clasp of the necklace. But then she reconsidered.

Why not keep it on? After all, it was hers and she could do what she wanted with it. It didn't matter what Sergio or the others thought. She had the right to wear something pretty without anyone questioning her.

Besides, it felt good to have it on. It was gorgeous and what it symbolized made her feel nice and warm inside. 

_She was his best._

So she left the necklace on and sauntered to the kitchen, wearing a smile brighter than the elusive sun of Lapland.

Sergio was standing up, holding a mug while most of the others were already sitting at the table. It looked like he had tried to furiously rub her lipstick out of his forehead, but there was still a smudge left. His eyes immediately shot to the necklace around her neck. Her smile grew only wider, and it looked his grip of the mug tightened in response.

 _What, am I not allowed to wear it?_ she asked with her mischievous gaze.

The others did not seem to notice necklace. They were more preoccupied with Raquel's high spirits to pay mind to her neck.

"What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing," Raquel said, smiling exactly like it was not nothing.

It took exactly four seconds for the others to investigate what was new about her and come to the conclusion that it was the beautiful golden necklace around her neck. What they hadn't been able to do yet was connect Sergio to it, but they soon would if he kept on gaping at Raquel and her neck like a cornered animal.

She couldn't help it. The opportunity to tease him was almost begging to be seized, and God knows, she deserved to have some fun with him.

"It's just that Sergio and I have finally cleared up some things," she said with a lilting voice, taking the necklace between her fingers for added effect. The eyes of the others started bulging out of their head. 

Then Raquel did something so nefarious that it could just be Sergio's supervillain origin story. She swept over to his side, rose on her tiptoes and, slowly, pressed her lips against his cheek.

The rough texture of his beard teased at her lower lip. It was a curious sensation, experiencing him in this way, and she would have liked it to last longer so she could examine just why kissing his cheek felt different than kissing anyone else's - but Sergio wouldn't have that. Less than a fraction of a second after her mouth had touched his skin, he wrenched himself away from her.

There was a dark flush mantling his cheeks. For a moment he just stared at the air in front of him, as if recovering from a punch someone had landed on his gut before the giggling of the group pricked at his consciousness. He glared at the others, turned to glare at Raquel and then glared at the whole cabin around him for good measure. Promptly, he stalked away from them with loud steps and slammed the door of their room shut with a loud bang.

What a wuss, Raquel thought. She had succeeded in teasing him like she had wanted, but she still found herself annoyed. And she'd thought she had leveled up to some new stage in their relationship where he wasn't such a prick. Was it really such torture, just receiving a kiss from her?

It was not as if he had a problem with physical contact, he had seen him let his brother wrap his hand around him plenty of times. She'd even once witnessed him hug Silene after she'd almost gotten herself fired (for the fourth time.)

So it was just Raquel he couldn't bear. 

The thought soiled her good mood. She stared after Sergio for the longest time, her hands at her hips much to the amusement of the others.

"Trouble in paradise?" quipped someone.

"I would more so describe this as thaw in hell, but I suppose it is over now," Raquel muttered.

"So did you guys finally..." began Silene and made a highly inappropriate gesture with her fingers.

Before Raquel could do as much as process what she was implying (her brain must have been protecting her from the inevitable psychological damage), Mónica intercepted.

"Silene!"

"What? We were all thinking about it! A guy does not give jewelry like that that to a girl he does not at least _want_ to-

"For the love of God, please stop talking," Raquel was finally able to choke out, her face now displaying a variety of garish colors. "I know what this must look like, but I assure you, this gift is as far from romantic as can be. He is simply finally recognizing me for my accomplishments."

"Why did he not get you something like a gift card then?"

Raquel decided to ignore the question.

"I would appreciate it if you never, ever talked about me and Sergio in that way again. I would like to get my food down without gagging, thank you very much."

"You are the only one here with that problem. Sergio is actually considered quite the catch around the office. Or did you not know that Ágata tried to get him to fertilize her eggs last Christmas?"

"I did not!" The woman protested, turning red.

When a skeptical silence followed, she added: "I was really, really drunk!"

Raquel decided her time was best used to going to her room and dragging Sergio back to dinner than listening to this. She wasn’t going to let him starve like a martyr, even if she had done something as reprehensible as kiss his cheek.

She found him pacing in the room, clearly regretting his decision to give her the necklace. Shame. It was too late now and she would wear it until the day she died if only to spite him.

The second she entered the room, his eyes shot up. He tightened his jaw and drew himself to his full length. Raquel inwardly scowled. Why did he always act like a threatened grizzly bear whenever she confronted him? Did he think she was going to body slam him just for the fun of it?

"What is your problem? I thought things were fine between us now," Raquel asked impatiently.

"Just because I think you are a good worker, does not mean that we are friends."

Ouch. 

Then again, what had she expected? Sergio was so closed off that every time he expressed his genuine feelings was like a solar eclipse. Now he had gone back to his shell and she wouldn't get him to say anything good about her again for at least 40 years. 

"We don't have to be friends for you not to flinch when I kiss your cheek. It is rude," she said, trying not to let her frustration shine out of her voice. 

So what if they were back at the starting point? It was good in a way. Predictable. Comfortable.

His gaze shifted to the necklace glimmering at her neck.

"You shouldn't be touching me like that," he answered with a low voice.

Raquel spread out her hands in a surrendering gesture.

"I will never touch you again as long as you tell me you would react like that to anyone. And be honest."

Sergio stared at the necklace for a good while before lifting his eyes to meet hers. This eye contact he held up until the moment Raquel started feeling he was boring into her very skull. It almost felt like he was trying to dig up an answer from her instead of himself. 

"It is just you," he finally breathed out. 

No beating around the bush then. Just a honest admittance that he found her revolting. 

"You have to be kidding me. How is it even possible that you can still hate me but be able to say all those nice things about me?" she huffed out, her mask of indifference starting to peel off. 

"Your skills and general admirability is the objective truth. My other feelings are subjective."

"So you are saying that I could shit gold nuggets and you would still hate me?"

Sergio said nothing to that, but his gaze told her everything she needed to know.

She took a step closer, crossing her arms. "Mind telling me why?"

He took a step back. "I do not owe you an explanation."

"And asshole things you say such as that are the exact reason why _I hate you_ ," she said jabbing a finger toward his chest. "And that is a valid reason, unlike yours."

Sergio closed his eyes for a moment, as if to absorb the impact of her words. Raquel took advantage of this strange reaction to take care of something that had been bothering her. It was hard to take Sergio seriously, with that lipstick stain still gleaming on his forehead.

When she walked to him, close enough for her to sense the heat of his skin, Sergio's fingers landed on her shoulder and tangled around the fabric of her shirt, trying to hold her back.

 _What are you doing?_ asked his gaze. He was breathing unevenly, staring at her mouth as if waiting for her answer.

"I am just trying to get my lipstick off you. Hold still," Raquel huffed out, licked at her thumb and rose on the tiptoes.

They were now nose to nose. She stared at him in the eye for a while, if only to unnerve him. She then parted her lips just a hint which caused Sergio's gaze to rapidly flicker as if in panic. His grip of her shirt tightened.

Raquel was almost amused by all this. What had he thought she was going to do?

It seemed that he was more afraid of her than revolted by her. But what was he so scared of? She was just a woman, no different than any of his other female employees or his short-term girlfriends she had heard gossip about.

She finally let him out of his misery and swept her thumb over the mark on his forehead. It was gone after a few rubs.

"There. All better now," she murmured and returned the soles of her feet back on the floor. She then turned from him, uneager to spend any more time in a room with this suffocating of an air.

"Don't think I won't find out what exactly your problem is with me," she turned to say to him with a low voice before walking out of the room. 

Sergio answered with a defiant gaze. Raquel narrowed her own eyes at him before scoffing and stepping out.

_It was on._

* * *

The next day, Sergio unceremoniously announced that the whole team was going dogsledding today. The corporate had decided it was the finest possible team building exercise because each sled took two people; the passenger of the sled had to be able to trust the driver of the sled in order not to lose their mind.

Raquel was not entirely sure why the corporate didn't just drop them in a fighting ring if they were that interested in seeing just how much harm they were truly willing to inflict on each other. 

"You are with me," Sergio said matter-of-factly before they had even walked out of the door.

"Anything else would have been too good to be true anyway," Raquel retorted.

She had not made much progress on finding out the true reason Sergio disliked her. She had asked Andrés why Sergio's feelings toward her had changed, but he'd simply asked her in turn whether she was sure they had ever changed, with one of his usual shit-eating smirks on his face. That had implied Sergio had hated her guts from the very beginning which she was not exactly encouraged about. 

This was why she was secretly glad she would spend some time alone with him tonight. Perhaps she would manage to get one or two answers out of him while he was was distracted by calculating how much of the company money he would get back if he stole the necklace back while she was sleeping and returned it.

Dog-sledding seemed to be one of the more popular tourist-y activities since there was a whole agency in the town dedicated for booking tours to the nearest husky kennel. They were able to get a time for the same day and were given directions to the place though they wouldn't have necessarily needed them. They could hear the dogs barking from kilometers away as they started driving up north.

"One person is sitting in the front and one person is standing up on the platform at the back and steering," one of the dog caretakers instructed as she showed them the group their sleds. Once again, they were all wearing red warm overalls. The locals clearly did not trust the tourists to dress warmly enough not to die in this environment.

Then again, She had seen Daniel take shorts with him to Lapland.

"These little buddies love nothing more than running," she said, gesturing to the dogs who were barking and wagging their tails like helicopter rotors, clearly about to piss themselves out of excitement. "So you are going to have to put the brakes down for them every once in a while. Make sure to push at the brake with your foot while going downhill and in any sudden curves, or if you just want to go slower. But the most important thing to remember is to keep your hands on the handlebars at all times so the dogs don't leave you behind."

She then showed Raquel and Sergio their own individual sled.

"Who is taking the reins?"

Both of them tried to step on the platform at the same time. They glared at each other, and an awkward silence fell.

"Uh, perhaps I will let you think about it for a moment first. I am going to go help the others in the meanwhile," the woman said, clearly less than enthusiastic to get in the middle of whatever Sergio and her were to each other.

Sergio, clearly disinterested in negotiating with Raquel, started walking away from her, perhaps to slip a bill into the caretaker's hand that would ensure his position as the driver.

"I have you pegged," she then said loudly.

Sergio turned slowly to look at her. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I know what you are like. You are the kind of a man who values control above anything else. You are going to keep your foot on the brake the whole ride just so that you can stay in command at every turn. Both the dogs and I will be bored out of our minds. That is why I should be the one steering. You are simply too fussy for that."

"Oh is that so?" Sergio said, approaching her. There was an interestingly dark look in his eyes.

She had not expected this reaction, but now that she thought about it, this had been the only thing she could have possibly said to properly rile up. It was something she was starting to discover about him. He was a little competitive, whether it came to the best way to teach Raquel how to ski or outsmarting others at a card game (she suspected Andrés hadn't said one word to his brother since his last night's humiliation. Then again, Sergio hadn't forced him to include his own wedding ring in the stakes.)

Even the fact that he had secured the sheet in their room in a way that predicted all the methods Raquel would later use to try to wrench it down told something about him. You noticed the funniest little details while living with someone, though Raquel wasn't exactly sure how to feel about the fact that she was getting to know him better and better.

She crossed her arms. "I said what I said."

"I wouldn't be so sure about the conclusions you draw about other people's characters," Sergio said said, his gaze sharpening. "You have a bad habit of doing that."

"All I am saying that it would be more fun if I was in charge. I could make you _scream_."

"And you are so sure I wouldn't be able to make you cry out?" he asked throatily, taking a step closer. Raquel found herself taking a hesitant step back. 

"I am sure," she said uncertainly. "In fact, If I let out one peep while you are steering, I will book you a room at the spa hotel so you can get at least any blissful night away from my detestable company. But if I keep silent, you will be the one paying."

She didn't have to make this a bet, but the words had left her mouth almost out of their own accord. Perhaps she was a little competitive too.

"Deal. Sit down," Sergio ordered.

Raquel found herself doing as told, feeling an unexplainaible sliver of excitement in her abdomen.

"Not only am I going to make you scream, I am going to give you the ride of your life," Sergio said with a voice audible only to her. Raquel gathered the furs of sled firmer around her, feeling a sudden chill in her skin.

Briefly, she was worried that she had bit more than she could chew. But when the dogs set off, and Sergio kept his feet firmly on the brake, she realized there was no cause for concern. She had pegged Sergio exactly right - unable to give up control even if it the gratifcation of the end result was greater than his momentary comfort.

It was pleasant with the dogs pulling the sleds, though not exactly thrilling. Sergio simply kept calmly bypassing the others as if having forgotten their wager completely just within minutes. She felt a twinge of disappointment.

Oh well, now she would at least have some time to grill him.

"So… about this whole vendetta you have against me," she began.

Sergio let out a grunt-like sound. It was good, a sign that he was not just ignoring her.

"Is it because my personality clashes with yours?"

"No."

"Is it because I used to be a cop?"

Sergio denied it.

Raquel sighed. "Is it because I am from the Basque country?

"I am from there too. Why would that even matter?"

Oh, that Raquel did not know.

"Where from there?"

"San Sebastian."

"Oh I lived there for a while!" Raquel exclaimed, suddenly delighted. "A year or two, before attending police academy in Madrid. It is a gorgeous place."

"Madrid has nothing on San Sebastian," Sergio said, a wistful hue in his voice.

"Funny that we never ran into each other," she said.

As she turned to look, she saw he seemed somewhat troubled by this statement. As if horrified by the prospect of having met her even before he'd been doomed to do so.

Perhaps this had been a far too normal, nice conversation for them to have. No wonder he was disturbed, he must think any niceness from her probably just meant that he would have fire ants waiting under his pillow when they came back to the cabin. Raquel switched back to interrograting.

"Is it because of the negative publicity my husband's arrest brought the company?"

"Of course not," he said, sounding almost disturbed that she had even suggested it.

Raquel was silent for a moment. There was only one question left to ask, but she wasn't sure if she had gathered enough courage to voice it. There was a sick feeling in her stomach whenever she even thought about the possibilty of that moment in particular being the reason for his hatred. 

But she had to know.

"Is it because of what happened at the Christmas party?" she finally asked with a frail voice.

Whereas he had been willing to answer her other questions immediately, now she was only met with a deep and harrowing silence. Not a good sign.

Raquel swallowed. A small part of her had always known that was the reason they no longer got along, but this silent confirmation of it only made her guilt hammer in her heart harder.

But then, his answer rang out.

"No."

Raquel found her world shifting out of its hinges _. What was it then?_ What other thing she could have possibly done to offend him enough for a grudge this size?

But before she could interrograte him further, Sergio bypassed the last dog sled. Immeditaly after, he wrapped his hands firmly around the handlebars and finally, lifted his foot from the brake. 

Nothing could have prepared Raquel for the speed she then experienced. 

She smashed against the back of the sled, her organs sliding out of their places. The dogs were going as fast as their little legs could manage, finally unburdened by the brake grinding into the snow and slowing them down. Their rush was almost manical, as if they would run to the edge of the earth now that they finally had the chance.

Sergio did not even push on the brake in curves of the trail, causing the sled to tilt against the snowbanks like a surfboard in a wave. When the sled snapped back upright, Raquel discovered her mouth open in a silent scream. Luckily no sound came out. She had forced it to stay lodged in her throat.

But it had been close.

She turned to look at Sergio. He looked completely calm, staring into the horizon with mild disinterest. He was in no way concerned about the death they would surely be facing in just a few moments if they kept going in this speed.

Oh god, perhaps this was the way he intended to off her. Murder-suicide by a overtly-excited dog sled. She would have applauded him for the masterfulness of that plan if she had been confident in her ability not to start screaming if her she opened her mouth.

Another, frighteningly steep curve on the path was fast approaching. Raquel closed her eyes, prepared for the sled toppling. But it didn't. She could feel the gravity shift once again as the sled slanted, but she did not fall off.

Upon opening her eyes again and looking back, she saw that Sergio was directing the sled expertly with his foot on the snow. He was not restricting the dogs by pushing on the brake, allowing them their breakneck speed, but he was still making sure that the sled would stay upright.

_That bastard. He must have done this before._

Raquel turned to glare at him. Sergio did not meet her gaze, but she could have sworn there was a smile flickering in his eyes. It made her want to grab a chunk of snow and launch it at his face.

She didn't even have time to visualize this action before Sergio started preparing for another tight turn, forcing Raquel to pinch her eyes and lips shut.

When they arrived at the rest spot that was in midway point of the route, Raquel's world was spinning. Even though they had come to a full stop, she was less than excited about the prospect of standing up. She was sure she would keel over if she even tried to put support on her noodle-like legs.

After one miserable failure to hoist herself up, she felt something wrap around her. Not long after, she was standing up, with strong male arms around her, stabilizing her. Her knees were wobbly, and they got even wobblier as she realized the man whose solid body she was taking support from was Sergio.

"You haven't got me pegged at all, señora Murillo" he whispered. Raquel could only let a shaky exhale in response.

Then he released her, leaving her alone to fend for herself against gravity.

Despite the murderous thoughts she was currenly entertaining about Sergio, she found herself strangely unable to wipe a smile from her face. It was bizarre, considering just how afraid she had just been.

But that hadn't been all fear, had it? It had been curiously exhilarating at times. 

Had she actually had… _fun_?

She watched as Sergio walked to the dogs that had been pulling them and stooped down to greet one of them. 

The dog let out a happy little bark and gave his face a lick. There was something that resembled a smile, something she could describe as fondness on his face. There was a small jolt in her stomach at the sight.

Oh god, what was happening to her?

* * *

She tried to reconcile with everything she was feeling as she stared at Sergio from across the campfire. He was drinking his hot cocoa, expressionless. Everyone else around them was chatting and laughing and telling endearing stories about stuff their dogs had done (if you counted a husky engaging in bowel movements mid-run as endearing).

She suddenly found herself feeling oddly lonely with the other pairs having fun and hanging out together. This whole animosity was starting to get tiring at times likes this. Sometimes she needed friends more than enemies.

Rather than stay there feeling sorry for herself, she rose and found her way to where Sergio was seated. She sat next to him and lifted her cocoa to her lips, not caring one bit what the man had to say about her newfound proximity.

Surprisingly, he said nothing. They simply sat together, drinking and staring into the horizon where everything was turning pink in the sunset.

It was actually quite pleasant. Perhaps the secret to a peaceable existence with him was not saying a word to him.

It was too bad she was such a loudmouth.

"You get one more try," she finally murmured.

"Hm?"

"You get one more try to make me shriek. It is only fair, this first run was barely a warm-up for these dogs," she said, trying to imitate as an indifferent tone of voice as possible.

Sergio answered nothing in return, but Raquel could sense his pleasedness. She smiled a little, but wiped the expression off as soon as he glanced her way.

* * *

Once again, Raquel seated herself down under the furs while Sergio stepped on the steering platform. This time, there was a spark of anticipation in the pit of her stomach. She would surely be scared for her life, perhaps even scream and lose the bet - but at least she would have a good time.

The caretaker of the dogs was loosening the leashes that kept the dogs still. "Just a second," Sergio said, removing one of his hands from the handlebars so he could stoop down and investigate the substance on his boot that looked suspiciously a lot like dogshit.

But he had been too late. The dogs were let loose at the moment he had said the words. In less than a second, the dogs were traveling full speed ahead and Sergio, who had only been holding on with one hand, was unable to keep his balance.

He flew on his back onto the ground as the dogs dashed dorward.

"Sergio!" Raquel screamed as she saw him collapse. The dogs slowed down a bit as they sensed something was wrong, and Raquel was able to leap out of the sled. She rushed to Sergio's side and kneeled down to see if he was alright.

Sergio, Sergio!" she kept shouting as she wiped snow from his features. His face was twisted in a strange way, suggesting that he was in pain. There was the cold fear of a serious injury swelling in her chest.

But soon she realized the reason his features were so distorted. He was not in pain, he was heaving a soundless laugh and his face was creaed into a smile.

"I made- I made you scream," he weakly bellowed. 

She couldn't help it. She started laughing too, a deep, relieved sound coming from the bottom of her stomach. She should be protesting, she should be insiting that this did not count - but for some reason, she did not mind.

It was the first time she'd ever heard him laugh. Hell, it was the first time she had ever seen him smile at her like that.

Just that awareness alone was able to make her whole being beam with happines.

The second Sergio seemed to realize just how close Raquel was as she was leaned over him, his laughter seemed to slowly die in his throat and his expression shifted.

He looked wary, as if by showing Raquel his smile he had given her the opportunity to snatch it and push it in her breast pocket as a sort of leverage. A weapon to use against him later.

But it wasn't like that. She wasn't going to use this against him.

No, she wanted to see more of him like this. She wanted this expression of delight to cross his face every time he looked at her.

Never mind why he hated her. In the long run, the reason for it did not matter because she was going to change his mind. She had just decided, stooped over in this snowy wilderness, to make Sergio her friend.

 _I am going to make you love me, Sergio Marquina,_ she thought, still beaming down at him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the sweet, wonderful comments you have left for the last chapter. I am sorry I was not able to answer all of them, but just know that I appreciate every single one of them and I am so grateful for the positive feedback you are giving me both here and on Twitter. It really keeps me going.
> 
> Enjoy!

The only injuries Sergio had sustained during his fall were some bruises on his arm which were discovered when he later rolled down his sleeve while sitting on the edge of his bed at the cabin.

Raquel, who had been procrastinating going to her own side of the sheet while discreetly watching him immediately took notice of this and rushed to his side.

"Oh no, that looks bad," she exclaimed and took his arm in the tender hold of her hands.

Sergio was so startled by the fact that she had touched him that she heard him draw in a sudden breath. That prompted a gentle smile out of her.

"Relax, I am just going to check that there is nothing wrong," she murmured and started carefully pressing on his hand, checking that he was not in any pain. Sergio grew tangibly more uncomfortable by the minute. Whether it was because of her touch or the fact that she was being kind so him, she wasn't sure. But she understood. She was herself not too accustomed to caring for him in this matter. Truthfully, sensing his firm muscles underneath her fingers freaked her out a little as well. 

However, she had now committed to her decision to improve her relationship with Sergio so she needed to do to him what she would do to any friend. And that included acknowledging the fact that he had a pair of strong arms and she would have to touch one of them in order to tend to it. 

He let out a little pained noise when Raquel brushed over one of the biggest bruises.

"There doesn't seem to be much swelling, but your skin is clearly tender. Let me get you some aloe vera for that."

"And it is surely aloe vera?" Sergio asked as Raquel turned to fetch the bottle from her bag. She rolled her eyes.

"I am not trying to poison you."

"Just checking," he muttered, fixing his eyes on the wall and clenching his jaw as if bracing himself when Raquel returned to his side.

Raquel began to spread the lotion on his skin with her fingertips. Sergio's flesh tensed like a steel spring under her touch. It was not exactly encouraging.

"I was thinking that we could turn a new page," she began, tentatively. "Be friendlier."

“Friends?” He asked, a crease forming on his forehead. "Señora Murillo, didn't I tell you that I am your boss and-"

Raquel frowned. “Friendlier. Let’s not jump all the way to the deep end of the pool."

"Friendlier," he repeated like a foreign word. 

"Yes. We are still going to be stuck together for a while. Wouldn't it be easier if we could, you know, exist without deliberately making each other's life more difficult?"

Sergio didn't answer, just looked at her like he had looked at his brother when he'd suggested implementing casual Friday.

Raquel did not let this faze her. Instead, she sat down next to him on the bed and smiled.

"We don't have to start making friendship bracelets. We can just be at peace with each other."

He expressed his opinion of this idea by moving farther away from her on the bed so their legs were not touching anymore. Raquel's insides deflated a little.

"How about this? I am going to book you that hotel room. You can spend one night there, and after you come back, we'll start over. Like we have just begun to work together."

She really hoped he would say yes. She wanted nothing more than a fresh start with him. After that Christmas party, she felt everything had just gone downhill in their relationship. And she couldn't help but wonder how things would look if she could somehow fix whatever she had done to him.

Sergio shook his head. “Don’t worry about that hotel room. You don't have to do that for me."

"How so? You rightfully won it-"

"I am not going to make you waste your money on a man you hate," he said weakly, an odd tinge in his voice and rose from the bed. He walked out of the room, leaving Raquel sitting alone on the bed. 

It seemed that he had not believed a word she'd said. She sighed.

This would be a long and painstaking process.

* * *

Demonstrating her willingness to be his friend by actions rather than words did not prove to be effective either. Sergio looked suspiciously at every cup of coffee she made him and only fled if she offered to spread more aloe vera on his arm. He assumed the habit of powerwalking everywhere after Raquel tried to keep him company a couple of times he went to the town. She tried complimenting his beard, laughing at his jokes and asking for book recommendations. Every time, he flushed as if mortified for her sake and either did not answer or made up an excuse to exit the conversation.

She even looked up how to make origamis after remembering he had those at his desk at the office. It had taken embarrassingly long to fold something that even resembled a boat. But there was a benefit in her little concoction looking like it was going to fall apart any moment now. It was made out of a paper on which Raquel had written a nice message for Sergio, and perhaps he could see the writing and open it.

But when she set it on his pillow and later spied on him as he entered the room, she only saw him freeze at the sight of it. He stared at it for a moment before picking it up carefully, too carefully, as if disposing nuclear waste, and put it on his nightstand. 

Hours later, it was still there, unopened. Raquel's heart sank a little.

“Are you aware of the amount of distress you have been causing my brother recently?” Andrés asked one day, sitting at the kitchen table with his hands steepled under his chin.

Raquel knotted her brow together. “How am I causing him distress?”

“By suddenly getting so chummy with him. He is treating that friendly origami note you gave him like a haunted object. I also have a suspicion he is going to hack off his arm if it means that you will stop checking it for swelling and running your graceful little fingers all over his skin. The tension headache this all is causing him will land him in hospital any day now.”

“Are you telling me to stop being nice to him?”

“No, on the contrary. Keep at it. I have never been more entertained in my life.”

Raquel rolled her eyes in an exasperated manner and marched away from Andrés. She refused to acknowledge the fact that he kind of, sort of, had a point. Sergio did not seem exactly thrilled about her newfound goodwill. Their relationship had never been nothing less than belligerent so he might interpret everything she was doing as some sort of an intricate scheme to frame him for murder.

But if she was persistent enough, then surely he had to see she only wanted to mend their relationship. Whatever she had done to injure him couldn’t be anything that a little friendly effort wouldn’t fix, right?

* * *

She decided the kindest thing she could do for him for the time being was to leave him be and simply be amenable from afar. She put her plan into action the next morning, smiling sweetly at him and sitting down at the very end of the breakfast table so he would get to read the news from his phone in peace. Sergio, however, did not seem to appreciate even friendliness this mild. He cast a frown at her and rushed out of the door without taking a bite to eat.

Raquel bit back a sigh.

Since there were no activities planned (Sergio really was distracted by her efforts if he had not managed to come up even a single torture method disguised as a team building exercise) Raquel and the others came up with their own. In the afternoon of that same day, they improvised a snowball fight in the front yard of the cabin. Only Martin refused to join, citing "being an adult" as his reason. His husband responded to this by hitting him with a snowball.

Raquel found herself being surprisingly good at this sport. By the time the sun had set, she had regressed into the snowball launching machine she had been as a little girl when she'd encountered even a little bit of snow. Her clothes were drenched and she couldn't exactly feel her feet anymore, but at least she had made a grown man cry by shoving his collar full of snow. 

This was how the team morale was truly lifted - opportunity to mercilessly ambush your coworkers they way you had only been able to fantasize about this far.

A little while later everyone except her and Ágata had given up, and Raquel saw Sergio walking along the road back to the cabin.

In her defense, the prestige of being the reigning snowball master of Plan P Marketing's Madrid division had gone to her head and was galvanizing her into actions she did not have the headspace to properly consider. So she flung a snowball at the man after less than two seconds of deliberation.

It landed straight in the middle of his chest. Sergio stared at the the stain of white substance for a moment, as if trying to compute the probability that his eyes were lying. Raquel did not even feel regretful about targeting her boss. So intoxicating was the rush of her winning streak. She smiled at him with her tongue poking out between her teeth.

For a hot second, Sergio stared at her expressionlessly. But then, something seemed to twist on his face. Before she could even process properly what was happening, he had dropped his bag and was rolling a gargantuan-sized snowball in his hands.

It hit Raquel's unsuspecting leg.

Soon after, another snowball followed. Then another. Then another. It was like getting caught under an air raid.

“Fuck Raquel, you unleashed a Rambo on us," Ágata squealed while she scrambled to safety behind one of the snowbanks. 

Raquel wasn't quite as terrified. She was laughing, rolling up new ammunition while dodging Sergio's blows. Finally, he was engaging her in something fun and friendly. She didn’t even care whether this would lead her to potentially perish from snowball-induced injuries.

She was so good at evading his longe-range attacks that he had no choice but go the way of a direct assault. When she was cowering behind a particularly large pile of snow, waiting for him to show his face, he surprised her by an ambush from behind her. It hit her squarely in the back, the surprising impact making her gasp.

It did not stop there. Another snowball hit her when she tried to frantically crawl to an escape. Then, Sergio grasped at her leg and sealed her fate. There was no getting away.

When he got her ensnared like a mouse in a trap, he kneeled, locking her torso between his knees. There were two snowballs clutched in his hands. His face was flushed red with triumph, his hair was a snow-covered mess and there was a smile itching to break out on his face.

He looked almost beautiful in this moment.

“Mercy!” she pleaded, but Sergio’s heart was cold and unforgiving. He bent down and shoved snow underneath her scarf.

Raquel half-shrieked, half-laughed as she writhed underneath him. This only resulted in him pressing her firmer to the ground. His body was warm and hard against hers, making her strangely unwilling to even try and escape.

Before she even could consider taking her revenge, both of their heads snapped up at the figure that had come to stand in front of them.

It was Ágata, staring at them with her eyes wide as saucers. It took a moment for Raquel to realize the reason for her dismay. But then she became aware of the almost… intimate position she and Sergio had ended up in.

Sergio appeared to realize this at the exact same second because suddenly, he was scampering up like his life depended on him being vertical at this very moment. After that, he did not seem to be able to choose who to face; Ágata or Raquel. In the end, he offered his hand to help Raquel off the ground only to coldly detach it and turn away the second she was back on her feet.

“That was unprofessional of me. Forgive me,” he muttered. Raquel frowned.

“It’s okay, we were just having fun—“

“You need to change. Your clothes look soaked through. I don’t want to have to explain to my superiors why one of my employees got hypothermia during a company retreat.”

He was once again back to his usual self. How she hated to see it.

“Take her back to the cabin,” he said, addressing Ágata this time with his back still firmly turned to them. “Put on some dry and warm clothes, both of you. And no more childish games like like this. The corporate wouldn’t like the image it gives off."

 _Says the man who just participated in the game,_ Raquel thought darkly.

“C’mon Raquel, let’s go before he writes us up,” Ágata said and turned to leave.

Raquel obeyed, partly because she was afraid she was going to say something nasty if she was going to stay here a moment longer, and partly because she did not want Sergio to see how flustered she still looked after realizing how close she had truly been to him.

But there was really no fear of the latter. When she glanced quickly over her shoulder, she saw Sergio's back was still turned to her. He was standing still, his breaths coming out unusually labored. She could see the depth of them by the way his shoulders sank and rose.

Raquel wondered whether she would ever be able to figure out even the half of what made him act like did.

* * *

Raquel was at the end of her rope. She was starting to suspect she was never going to get him to melt for her. It was like fighting the entire polar ice cap with a single blow-dryer.

She feared she had just made things worse with her attempts to warm him up to her. Sergio had barely even looked at her after the snowball incident and had even stopped enforcing the one-hour rule. 

That was a sign if any that there was something seriously wrong. What his superiors wanted of him was his law. If the corporate emailed instructions how to blow up the Finnish parliament, he would answer with an email asking whether they wanted it done by five or six. He didn't mind working overtime.

The less successful she was in her in her pursuit of Sergio, the more she started to find the notion of getting along with your boss overrated. Yes, she had wanted a friend in him. Yes, she wanted him to smile at her again like he had done after the dogsledding. But goddamit, he was making it hard to be nice to him.

When he walked into the living room that day, she hugged her knees against her chest and started radiating hostile energy that would hopefully signal to him that she was giving up on him.

Sergio responded by radiating his own special energy at her, communicating to her that he couldn't wait for that to happen.

Their little telepathic wrestling was interrupted when Silene marched into the room, her overcoat still on.

“Behold! Something to do!” she said, slamming a flyer on the table.

Raquel picked it up. It was an advertisement for a trivia night that would happen at the pub where Mikael had taken her to the date. The winning team would get free drinks for the entire night.

"We should all go!" exclaimed Ágata as she snatched the flyer from Raquel, more than excited about the prospect of free booze. "If we separate into two teams, we have a bigger chance at winning."

"I hope that you aware that it is just a scheme from the pub to lure people to spend their money on drinks while they play. The team they planted actually wins." Sergio said dryly.

That astonishing amount of killjoy energy in his answer set Raquel off.

"You know what, that is a great idea," she said, shooting up to her feet. "Let's go everyone."

People were tenfold more inclined to listen to her than Sergio, and so everyone started gathering their things and preparing to leave for the pub.

"Please make sure none of them throws up on anything company-issued," muttered Sergio from the kitchen table as Raquel walked past.

"You are not coming?" she asked, halting. "What is the matter? Are you afraid that you wouldn't know the answer to half of the questions?"

This made Sergio straighten his back. He narrowed his eyes. "Are you seriously suggesting that I wouldn't be able to handle a small town trivia night?"

Raquel shrugged. "How should I know? I have never seen you win one."

In the next moment, Sergio was tugging on his jacket and ordering the others to hurry so they'll be in time for the sign-ups.

Raquel grinned. Yes, she had shamelessly baited his competitive streak. Did she feel ashamed about such a dirty trick? No.

She didn't stop it just there. When they had arrived at the pub and were signing up for the quiz, she upped the stakes by suggesting that he and her would be on different teams. And that each time one team got a question right when the other team didn't, the losers would take a shot of liquor.

Sergio took less than two seconds to agree. Mónica, who seemed to have had a fight with her husband that morning, suggested that they would separate into teams of boys and girls. Daniel yielded, thought reluctantly, muttering something about the decency of wearing shoes in the company of the opposite sex.

So Raquel and the girls sat at one table while the guys picked the table next to it. Raquel and Sergio had a direct view to each other, and when the first question rang out, they offered each other one last sharp look.

Game on. 

Then they both dove down to their papers and started writing their answers with their pens steaming.

The battle ended up surprisingly even. When it came to obscure philosophers and minutiae of history, Sergio wiped the floor with her and she was forced to drink. However, as booksmart as Sergio was, when it came to popular culture he was completely clueless and Raquel was able to score a lot of points just by naming various films and albums Sergio did not seem to have even heard of. 

Against all expectations, Sergio was not upset by the lead he lost to Raquel every other turn. Neither was she. The opposite happened.

After the first shot, Sergio had wiped his mouth with his knuckles, a defiant look in his eyes. _You might have won this battle, but not the war._ Raquel smiled at him.

After the second shot, Sergio had seemed more impressed than frustrated at Raquel's victory. The alcohol in Raquel's system had also softened the blow of the next time Sergio got a question right.

After the third shot, Sergio had gotten noticeably more cheerful, even lifting his glass at her as a sign of respect. Raquel lifted her own glass as well, drinking even thought she had not even lost this round. The warm liquid was seeping into her veins, making the whole thing seem a lot more like a fun game than a teeth-gritting battle.

After the fourth shot, she put her hair up into a ponytail and pushed the pencil inside the bun to help her think. Sergio let out a loud, happy laugh when he saw her.

Raquel's spirit shot up the skies. He was smiling! He was laughing!

Yes, how did she not think of this? The last time he had been tipsy, they had had an actual conversation. Getting him drunk should have been her plan all along if she had wanted him to open up to her.

After the fifth shot, her plan to melt down the icy ulterior of Sergio Marquina had vanished from her head. Her plan to win this quiz was gone too. Her biggest priority at the moment was simply staring at Sergio and holding in her laughter as he tried to hold in his. 

After the final round was over and their answer forms were collected, a man appeared on the stage.

"Hello everyone! I am Erik, the owner of this pub."

“Hi Erik!” everyone yelled back.

"It looks like you have been having fun," he said, glancing for some reason at Sergio and Raquel who were currently mouthing taunting words at each other.

"We seem to have quite a large gathering of Spaniards here tonight," he continued.

Both of the teams hollered in response, Sergio and Raquel being the loudest.

"Welcome, welcome! As is the custom, we like to name a drink after every nationality that visits this pub. Unfortunately, there hasn't been any people from Spain this far who have put their suggestions forward. But since there are so many of you tonight, I am suggesting a little competition."

Both Raquel Sergio perked up a little at this.

"There should be slips of paper in every table now. Write down your favorite word in Spanish in them. I would ask it to keep it PG13 but since your average 13-year-old's mind is in the gutter anyway, there really is no use. Do your worst! Put your answers in this hat and I will choose the winner from them."

Ah, this was a task that required some imagination. Raquel put her pen down and started thinking. The girls at her table were already giggling and writing down their own answers.

She was sure they were enthustically writing down words akin to 'pene'. She disapproved. It wasn't exactly truthful. It had to be your favorite word and not the most vulgar one you knew, after all. Unless 'pene' really was something you enjoyed rolling on your tongue.

She giggled. Now that she thought about it, 'pene' really was a funny word.

Still, she had a hard time coming up with anything. She glanced at Sergio's table to see how the guys were faring and to her surprise, she saw all of them gathered around Sergio and staring at his slip of paper. Each of them gasped or laughed when he finished writing and the man himself smile like a schoolboy.

Oh wow, what he wrote had to be absolutely shameless.

Burning with curiosity, she gaped at him instead of thinking about her own answer. When the time was up, she snapped out of her trance and wrote down the first thing that came to her mind.

Erik came to gather all the answers and flipped through them on his way back to the stage.

"Many of these… certainly look exotic," he commented as the Spaniards in the room laughed and yelled. "I am not sure if one of these is even an actual word in Spanish. In any case, I will put them in safekeeping and choose the winner after a couple of days of deliberation. Be sure to visit the pub later and see what was chosen!"

After this, the team that had scored the most points in the quiz was announced. It was neither Raquel's or Sergio's. That might have to do with the amount of alcohol they had consumed throughout the game. At one point, Raquel wasn't sure if she had written or drawn down her answers.

But strangely enough, the defeat did not taste bitter at all. She bounced down to her feet and cheered for the winning Croatian team as much as she would have had it been her own group.

"I think it is the best if you go get some water," Mónica said when she tried to sit back down and gently pushed her toward the bar counter.

"Fine," Raquel muttered and staggered away. 

She leaned against the counter and waited for her turn to order when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned and saw it was Sergio.

"Good game," he said cheerfully, his voice slightly slurred and offered her his hand to shake. Raquel gladly took it.

"I could still win, you know. When we find out the results for the drink naming competition," she said.

"Oh, I highly doubt that."

"What did you write?" Raquel asked, trying not to let it show just how much she wanted to hear what he had come up with.

Sergio's face twisted into an actual, impish grin.

"You forget I am a gentleman, senora Murillo. I shouldn’t divulge such things to you."

_Ah, so it definitely was something dirty._

“You know, I think I quite like drunk Sergio," she said with a lilting, amused voice, imagining him writing something with a tongue in his cheek.

"I think I quite like drunk Sergio too," he answered, seating herself right next to her. Raquel's brow jumped in surprise. Just a few days ago he had shied away from her.

The magic of alcohol was truly a wondrous thing.

"What did you write?" he asked in turn.

Raquel deliberated for a moment.

" _Barril de pis_ , she finally answered, lying.

"A barrel of piss?" Sergio repeated, confused. "That is three words, not one. And not exactly pretty."

Raquel's lips curled into a sly smile. "In Finnish it is one word, so it counts."

"What is it in Finnish?"

"Kusitynnyri."

Sergio's frown only deepened. "No, that is the name of this town."

"No, that is Kuusitunturi. Kusitynnyri is the way you have been saying it."

Sergio stiffened for a moment, making Raquel think that maybe her little jest had not exactly been funny. Sergio might really be embarrassed by the way he had been mispronouncing the word, especially since he seemed to have been studying Finnish hard before the trip.

But then, his features smoothed and his eyes came alive. His lips parted in a laugh that quickly grew raucuous, and he collapsed against the counter with his shoulders shaking.

"Barrel of piss," he choked out, tears in his eyes. "I have been saying it to every single Finn I have encountered. Every single one!"

Raquel started giggling uncontrollably too, so infectious his laughter was. They laughed together for the longest time, practically holding onto each other so that they would not fall from their stools.

His eyes were shining with unabashed happiness. It made Raquel's heart beat faster.

This was it. This was why she had made all that effort to see him like this again.

* * *

Raquel never returned to the table with the girls. Instead, she stayed with Sergio, chatting and laughing together in a way that probably raised more concern than amusement in the others that were observing them. More than once, Martín had come to ask Sergio whether everything was alright, that neither of them had hit their heads or anything. Sergio had simply waved him away and turned back to Raquel. She would be lying if she claimed that him wanting to stay with her did not feel at least a bit nice.

“I like it when you wear that," Sergio then suddenly said, pointing at her necklace.

Raquel smiled, bringing her hand to her neck to touch the precious object. Well well, someone was rather proud of himself for picking a nice piece of jewelry.

“Lucky for you, I like wearing it."

Sergio's face slipped into a more confused, hesitant expression. “Why?”

“It is a nice necklace," Raquel answered. "What is there to it?"

"But it is from me. Just me…"

His voice trailed off and he seemed to momentarily fall into deep thought. Raquel's drunken mind felt too hazy to try and even begin to decipher the meaning of his words and closed-off expression. Instead, her attention focused on something completely else behind him.

There was a beautiful blonde woman gazing at Sergio ever so often at the end of the bar counter. She seemed to repeatedly try to catch his eye whenever he glanced in her direction.

The corner of Raquel's mouth twitched.

That was rather presumptous of her. After all, Sergio was chatting with her. She could very well be his wife or a girlfriend. Then again, they were not exactly sitting together in an intimate manner and neither of them wore a ring. 

Perhaps she was testing the ice with her meaningful looks, trying to see if Sergio was free and interested. _Sergio_ of all, people. She inwardly snorted.

Well, it was her mistake. She had no idea what kind of a pain in the ass he truly was, when he was not smiling and being charming and handsome and nice like this.

“There is a woman eyeing you,” she pointed out. “Don’t look.”

Sergio looked.

“Ah yes. We spoke briefly when I went to order you those fries," he commented and turned back to Raquel. "So as I was saying-"

"Seems like she is into you. What do you think?"

For a moment, Sergio did not seem to understand the question. He then glanced at her again, turned to Raquel and made an expression that seemed to signify complete indifference.

Raquel saw the woman leave her seat, probably encouraged by the fact that Sergio had looked at her once again, and was now approaching them. Raquel suddenly felt a burning need to leave so she wouldn't have to witness what happened next.

“I am gonna go for a cigarette,” she announced and grabbed her purse. Sergio looked at her, frowning.

"But it is cold outside."

Raquel smiled. "It is always cold here. Don't worry, I'll be back in a jiffy."

"Jiffy is enough time for one to freeze to death or be murdered in a back alley," Sergio grumbled, hoisting himself up. His ascent to an upright position was awkward at kindest.

"I feel like being eaten by a reindeer is more likely."

"Plenty of danger out there in any case. I shall be your bodyguard," Sergio said and made an exaggarated bow.

Raquel laughed. "I don't think I have ever seen a bodyguard with glasses."

She glanced over his shoulder where the woman seemed to have decided against coming over and was looking disappointed. Raquel felt a pang sympathy for her which soon morphed into confusion. Sergio had really just chosen her over a beautiful lonely viking lady. He must be really, really drunk or really, really disinterested in women. 

For the sake of the girlfriends he knew he'd had, she really hoped it was the former.

* * *

They found themselves under the light of the streetlamp, the only one of its kind near the back wall of the pub. They broke into fits of giggles after every second word that left their mouths which made it hard to remember what the conversation was about after a while.

"Sometimes I- I just want to tell them… to screw themselves, you know?" Sergio slurred, gesturing at something in the distance. "I am not their work mule."

"No you are not!" Raquel protested, offended on his behalf.

"No I am not!"

"You are not!

"No!"

They started giggling again. To any outsiders watching, they must look like a pair of madmen. But Raquel did not care. She was wasted in the way everything was happy and luminous and the fact that she was actually talking to Sergio like they were friends only added to her glee.

She dumped her cigarette in the bin by the streetlamp. This brought Sergio's attention to her hands.

"You are not wearing any gloves," he observed, a note of concern in his voice.

"It is hard to smoke with mittens on," Raquel answered. "I left them at the table."

“But your hands look cold."

"They are, but I can bear it for a little while longer," she murmured.

The truth was that she did not want this moment under the streetlamp to end. It was far too pleasant down here, and she did not want to break the magic by going back inside, even for a moment, no matter how numb her fingertips were.

"You do not take care of yourself," Sergio admonished and took her hands within his large ones. Raquel started.

"I will keep them warm. I will keep _you_ warm," he continued, massaging her hands with his thumb. After a moment, he lifted her hands near his lips and breathed a wisp of warm air into them.

Her knees almost gave out at that.

Her head was really spinning now. Sergio was being kind and thoughtful directly to her face and she did not know how to progress it. His touch was overwhelmingly gentle and warm and caring. God, why was he only nice and willing to touch her when he was drunk?

 _Focus_ , Raquel commanded herself after Sergio's continuous caress of her hands threatened to make her mind swim again.

“How come you didn’t go for that woman at the bar? She was so pretty." she found herself asking.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she felt the need to keep needling him about her. Part of her did not even want Sergio to talk about her, acknowledge her beauty or even her general existence. Yes, she was aware of how ridiculous it was to feel insecure about some stranger, but the fact that she wanted her antagonistic boss of all people to ignore this gorgeous stranger for her sake should tell you something about the new low she was in.

"That woman at the bar," Sergio began, his voice rising in a question. For a moment, it looked like he was not entirely sure what she was even talking about.

Then he let out a thoughful a grunt as he realized.

"Let me tell you something about my priorities," he began, assuming the stance of an university professor explaining something to a student who had posed a difficult question. It made her smile.

"Every day, I work and I work and I work. That takes most of my time. Then there are of course my hobbies. They get a sliver of my attention every now and then. Friends and loved ones get all the quiet moments, the ones that slip through the cracks and are there when you just… stop."

Raquel nodded, though she did not exactly understand where he was getting at.

"There is no space for anything frivolous. How could I pay even a moment’s notice to some stranger at a bar?"

"So work takes precedence over everything else? How am I not surprised," Raquel said, smirking, though there was a hint of sadness lingering at the back of her mind as she thought about it.

"Oh no. No. You see-, ah, I have approached this from a completely wrong angle," Sergio blubbered, squeezing her hands in his as if apologizing for not not being clearer. Raquel bit back a laugh.

"Let me start again. At the end of the day, when I close my eyes at night."

He demonstrated by pinching his eyes shut in a comical manner. Raquel snorted.

"Like this?" she said and closed her eyes too. 

The spent a moment giggling about how ridiculous they both were before Sergio was able to continue. 

"When I close my eyes..." he began again, his voice gently rattling with laughter because Raquel's eyes were still clenched shut.

"...the only thing I see is the woman that I love."

Her smile disappeared like the flame of a candle suddenly snuffed out. 

Raquel opened her eyes and was faced with the warm, soft look in his.

“What?” she croaked out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a day longer to post!

"What?"

Raquel's mind was overflowing with skittering thoughts and feelings that dripped all the way down to her chest where they swelled and swelled, until she could barely even breathe. That look in his eyes, the meaning behind his words… did she even dare to consider what he might imply? 

The heat on her face was spreading like a wildfire, having been born the second those words left his mouth. Her heart was thrashing so violently it was about to break out of her ribcage. But it couldn't be. It just couldn't be. It was impossible and laughable and unimaginable and- Oh, why couldn't Sergio just say something? 

There he still was, staring at Raquel with his impossibly brown eyes, not caring a bir about the storm that was rummaging inside her.

"What are you talking about?" she forced out of her mouth.

Sergio wrinkled his forehead, something akin to frustrated confusion crossing his face.

"I love someone. I do have a heart, despite what you might think," he murmured sadly.

 _Someone_.

Someone who is not not here, right now, he had to mean.

Oh god, for a moment she had thought… 

Her legs near bucked at the mortification of it. 

She was blushing and burning all over. She felt foolish - more than foolish. She was an idiot for arriving at that conclusion despite the fact that it was _Sergio_ and what he felt for her was more than clear. 

She was the luckiest woman in the world that Sergio was drunk right now and probably could not tell how much her skin had flared up. He probably wasn't even completely sure how many Raquels he was talking to.

Sergio looked down at her hands as he kept rubbing his thumb over her palm, suddenly self-conscious. 

"I cannot tell her. I cannot. But I think she suspects…"

He glanced up at her. "Do you think she knows?"

"I don't know," Raquel huffed out, starting to get increasingly restless about this whole situation. Sergio's touch was not helping the matter. "Why can't you just tell her?

"It would be a very bad thing for us both if the truth came out… I don't want to hurt her. I love her."

Great. Sergio had wrapped himself up in some tragic love affair while the only positive male attention she had gotten this past year was her boss chucking her a necklace so that she would not quit on him. Her life was truly sad. 

"I don’t know what you expect me to do with this information," she said, wrenching her hands free. 

Sergio's face crumpled. Her heart gave a pang at the sight, but her head was too much of a mess right now for her to offer him a shoulder to cry against. Hell, how had she even ended up in this situation? Sergio was not supposed to have feelings.

He was not supposed to fall in love.

Raquel was feeling suddenly sick at her stomach. God, how was it possible to be this cold and hot at the same time? She needed to get out of here, somewhere where her thoughts weren't so loud.

But before she could even think about leaving, she needed the answer to the question that was ringing in her head.

"Who is she?"

"It doesn't matter," he murmured, looking sad and confused. He was drooping against the streetlamp like a melting snowman.

"But it does!" Raquel exclaimed. "If you want me to help you, I need to know who she is."

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"I just told you…" he murmured. The sentence did not continue from there. Instead, Sergio closed his eyes and started gradually sliding lower and lower against the streetlamp. Raquel rushed to his side to prevent him from collapsing to the ground.

Just then, the door of the pub swung open and laughing men stepped out. Raquel soon recognized the voices of her male colleagues.

"Woah! Someone's has had a bit too much tonight," exlaimed Bogotá, noticing Raquel and Sergio.

That prompted the rest of the men to turn their heads too. A worried frown appeared on Andrés' face and he half-jogged to his brother.

When he saw that Sergio was drunk out of his mind rather than having a fit, he grinned.

"Everything alright there, buddy?"

Sergio mumbled something incomprehensible in response. 

"I'll take it from here," he said, taking Sergio's hand and wrapping it around his shoulder. "Let's go get some sleep."

He gestured to others and they quickly arrived to help drag the poor man home.

"You okay?" Andrés asked, turning to her one last time before leaving with Sergio.

"Yeah," Raquel lied. 

"The girls are still inside. Go to them, they'll get you home safely."

Raquel offered him a shaky nod and watched as the men set off on their journey back to the cabin, feeling oddly like she had said all the wrong things.

"I- I am sure she feels the same way," she called out after Sergio as her one last attempt to comfort him.

Sergio glanced at her over his shoulder.

His mouth slid into a thin smile. He then slowly, gently, shook his head.

* * *

Raquel did not remember how she got into the bed that night, but what she was painfully aware of was the fact that she had gotten little to no sleep.

When she groggily dragged herself out of the bed and wrenched the sheet aside, she saw Sergio still peacefully asleep under his covers. She stared at his sleeping form for a moment, trying to sort out her rattling thoughts in her aching skull. 

The memories came back to her in one unpleasant stream. She had gotten drunk. Way too drunk. There had been Sergio who had been nice to her and made her feel warm inside only to ruin it all by making her his unwilling confidante. 

She looked at his lashes gently fanning over his cheek a he slept. It disturbed her that she would never again see Sergio in the same way as before. How could she have missed this? How could something so tremendous as stone-hearted Sergio Marquina falling in love go unnoticed? 

Then again, she had never seen him give particular attention to any woman. The way he treated his female employees was normal in all acconts (if you deemed the somewhat stand-offish way he treated all people normal). The exception was, of course, herself, but she agitated him, not enthralled him.

She could only imagine the woman Sergio loved being the exact opposite of her. 

This thought bothered her somewhat. She let the sheet fall back so she wouldn't have to look at him anymore. She strongly considered going back to her bed, crawling under the covers and nesting there until her body decomposed. But by doing that, she would risk Sergio waking up and seeing her and trying to akwardly apologize for his unprofessionalism last night. She'd rather gnaw off her own arm than listen to that.

So she wrapped her blanket around her and waddled to the doorway. She halted there after seeing Mónica leaning against the wall and looking at her phone in the hallway.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at her, trying to zoom into every betraying factor in her appearance. Could she be Sergio's beloved? 

He might treat his employees normally, but what about the wives of employees? She had not seen them interact enough to judge. But there was certainly material there for a torrid, forbidden romance he could not tell anyone about.

Seemingly detecting her presence, Mónica looked up at her and started. The reason for that came apparent a second later as Raquel realized that with the way she was standing there in the doorway staring at her with the blanket around her, she must look like an suspicious, hungover burrito.

She cleared her throat. "Morning."

"Morning," Mónica smiled. "Morning to you too, Sergio."

Raquel flinched as she realized the man Mónica had addressed had materialized behind her.

"Morning," Sergio murmured, looking like he had been dragged behind a truck for several kilometers. "A word?" he then asked Raquel and before she had even let out her answer, he closed the door so that they would not be overheard.

Oh god. This was it. He was going to apologize and it would be embarrassing and they would both feel awkward and that was the last situation in the world Raquel was capable of dealing with right now. She just wanted to stand under an ice cold shower with her mouth open until the sun swallowed the earth.

"What happened last night…"

"It's okay. We are good," Raquel quickly muttered, looking for an espace route that was not the door Sergio was currently standing in front of. Was she too big to fit into an air duct?

"No, I am asking. What happened last night?"

Oh.

Oh.

Jesus, he had no clue what happened. She wasn't sure whether this was a blessing or a curse. Blessing probably because no she did not have to listen to any long apologies or explanations, and a curse because she herself had not been granted the gift of blissful forgetfulnesss. She would feel so much better if she did not have to think about Sergio mooning over some unattainable woman.

"Uh, nothing. We simply had too much to drink," she quickly explained, praying that he would leave it at that.

Sergio rubbed at his eyes that were still bloodshot. "Listen, if I did or said something that in any way made you uncomfortable…"

_Looks like she was going to have to listen to apologies after all._

"No, nothing at all," Raquel said and acted before Sergio could react. She pushed him (not an easy task, he was a big man) and opened the door and quickly skittered through it. She had made the split-second decision to refuse this judgment from the universe. She was hungover and probably still slightly drunk, she deserved to take the easy way out for once in her life.

When she arrived at the living room, she saw Daniel looking rather depressed while staring out of the window. It was still overcast. Mónica was next to him, rubbing his arm. The two seemed to have resolved their weird shoe-related argument. Raquel made her way to the coffee machine, determined to drain at least three cups of coffee before anyone was allowed to pay attention to her.

"What I am saying is that if we were to find an authentic Sami person…" Daniel began.

"I don't think they have any more control over the weather than we have," his wife said, frowning.

"No, but they must know all the secret spots were you can see them. They have been here longer than anyone else, they must have a trick or two."

Mónica sighed. "Cariño…

"For the love of god, Daniel, stop talking before I am going to have to send you into sensitivity training."

Daniel stopped his stumbling speech and turned to look at the source of the outburst along with the others. As they saw Sergio in the doorway, pressing his fingers against his temples, their expressions of bewilderment turned into pure, unadultarated glee in an instant.

"Good morning. Had fun last night?"

"How many shots was that again, Sergio?"

"Aren't you looking fresh this fine new day, boss."

Sergio, with dark circles under his eyes, his hair mussed and complexion pale and tired, looked anything but. Raquel was not looking much better either, but the benefit in having such a stick in the mud for boss was that when he finally got properly and devastatingly hammered, it was physically impossible to make fun of anything else for the rest of the decade.

Sergio pushed his glasses up his nose, his features stiffening into a solemn look. "What happened last night is a single, erronous instance that you shouldn't let define your image of-"

"Remember when you started singing 'Brown Eyed Girl' while we were dragging you home? I have a recording," interrupted Bogotá.

"Hey, give my poor brother some mercy. Everyone of us deserves a night off every once in a while," Andrés uncharacteristically said while tugging on his jacket.

"Thank you. To circle back to what I was saying- Wait, where are you going?"

"Just off on my daily walk. Might pop by the pub. Slide the owner some euros, see if that would encourage him to choose your name suggestion for that drink," Andrés drawled while casually sauntering toward the door. 

Sergio's eyes opened wide, as if in a sudden and horrible realization. 

"No you are not!" he exclaimed and launched at his brother. Andrés only cackled and shot out of the door like he had a bull at his tail. Sergio ran after him with only his pyjama pants and a half-buttoned shirt on.

"The family I married into, ladies and gentlemen," muttered Martín from the couch, already cradling a beer bottle at 11 o'clock in the morning.

"Do you want to hear the recording?" Bogotá offered, already handing her his phone. Raquel waved it away. She'd had enough of last night for a lifetime. She'd rather just let all the memories of it fade.

She poured the entire contents of the coffee pot into a thermos and took it to her room, hoping that Sergio would stay away as long as possible.

* * *

They successfully managed to avoid each other for the entire day. It seemed that Sergio was just as keen as her to spend time with each other, looking at her warily every time he came across her and hurrying out of her way. She couldn't have asked for more.

She spent the day practicing skiing at her secret slope, talking to Paula and reading e-books from her phone. Put together, she'd had interacted with Sergio only for two and a half minutes today. She was hoping to cut it down to only minutes tomorrow. It was good to set goals.

But lo and behold, when Sergio retired to their room that night, he could not just let her be. 

She was putting on her night lotion in front of the mirror on Sergio's side of the room when he walked in. He stared at her for a moment, making Raquel worry whether he was going to open his mouth and start on the subject she had been avoiding all night. 

But instead of the feared words "We need to talk about last night," he said something completely different.

"Why do you insist on wearing that thing?"

It took a moment for Raquel to realize what he was talking about until she managed to follow his gaze down to what was resting over her chest. The necklace. In an instant, the center in her brain that controlled her temper flared up like someone had pointed a laser at it.

"Last night you told me you liked seeing me wear it," she said and gave him the dirtiest look she could manage. It was so like him, finding fault in her every aspect - even things he had gifted her himself. The exception was when he was drunk and wanted to pat himself on the back.

"Did I?" he asked, looking confused. Raquel was not surprised, he must be thoroughly baffled he ever managed to force a kind word toward her from his mouth. 

"I was drunk," he then said as if it was a catch-all excuse.

Raquel scoffed.

"That much was clear."

The look in his eyes grew darker, but cleared again after he was able to wrench his eyes away from the necklace.

"Did I say anything else?" he asked, his voice strangely tremulous.

"Nothing that could possibly matter to me," she answered, wrenching the sheet aside and stepping behind it.

Raquel saw his silhuette follow her when she turned.

For a moment, it seemed that he was about to step into her side. To do what, she was not sure. In the end, however, he decided against it and Raquel saw his silhuette retreat.

She dropped down on her bed and pressed a pillow on her face, muffling her screams of frustration.

She hated him, she hated him, she hated him.

How she wished she could have the name of the woman he loved so she could warn how much of a prick Sergio was. And tell her never to accept any jewelry from him. The bastard probably won it from a vending machine anyway. 

With these thoughts in mind, she slowly fell into restless sleep.

* * *

The next time she became aware of her surroundings, she found herself looking into Sergio's eyes.

He was staring at her in the same intensely dark way as before. Or maybe not quite. His eyes were glassy and his breath was coming out on ragged bursts. The reason became apparent as she sensed his exhale on her naked, sweat-beaded skin.

She was on top of him, straddling him, with one hand planted on his chest and the other braced to the headboard. His hot palms were clutched at her hips, steadying her, trying to guide her onto….

Oh. 

Raquel smiled. _I will take my time_ , she said with her expression. But Sergio was not looking at her face. His eyes had drifted down to her chest.

She then saw the only thing she was wearing was the necklace he had given her.

The sensation made her tremble in the most delicious way possible.

"Beautiful, isn't?" she asked as she began slowly mounting him. Sergio's head tipped back and his breathing grew heavier, his dewy Adam's apple bobbing with each inhale. His hold of her hips only tightened and tightened, intensifying the pleasure when she finally sank all the way down.

A desperate sigh escaped her. He filled her whole, but still wasn't enough. 

She began rolling her hips, bracing both of her hands now on his broad chest. _Yes, perfect, just like this. But more._

As if having read her thoughts, he started bucking into her. His motions were rough and demanding, but so was hers. She was now riding him with wild abandon, the necklace rocking in the same rhythm as her hips...

An owl outside her window decided that this was the perfect time to start loudly hooting, shaking her awake from her already fragile dream.

 _Fuck. Not again_ , she thought as she felt her underwear clinging onto her skin. She rubbed her thighs desperately together. God, why couldn't that stupid owl open its stupid beak just a five minutes later? She wished she knew how to open the window so she could throw her slipper at the bird.

She was too aroused not to feel even embarrassed about having another sex dream about her boss. That would come later, first she needed her release. 

She bit her lip and turned to stare at the sheet on the other side of which Sergio lay on his bed. She then checked her clock. It was 4 in the morning. There was no chance in hell he wasn't soundly asleep at this very moment.

So she once again pushed her face into a pillow to muffle the sounds she was making and snaked her hand inside her soaked panties.

At first, her usual masturbation routine did not seem to work. Her clit did not seem to respond to the images of hot men she had saved up in the wank folder in her brain. She whimpered against her pillow. Not now of all times. Put up a fight anytime else but not now.

So she had to succumb. She brought back the memory of Sergio's arms around her as he helped her out of the sled, accompanied with his familiar dark glare.

Bingo. She was able to bring herself into a shattering climax within just a few seconds. She let out an assortment of a various throaty sounds, blocking most of them with the pillow - but probably not all. Hopefully Sergio just thought she was having a nightmare if he happened to be awake. 

Finally, her body deflated against the mattress.

 _Well, that might just be the most humiliating thing I have ever done_ , she thought as she brought her fingers back. It would be a proper process to learn to live with herself after that.

She turned to look at the sheet. No peep from Sergio. At least she did not have to go and set herself on fire or anything.

She burrowed under her blankets, hoping this whole trip was a bad dream she would wake up soon from.

***

Luckily for her, Sergio was gone when she woke up in the morning. She would not have to look him in the eye at least for a while.

But as it would turn out, she was not quite able to look the others in the eye either.

 _No, I did not touch myself while thinking about Sergio_ , she thought, every time anyone even glanced in her direction.

 _No, I am not having regular sex dreams about your brother_ , she protested in her mind when Andrés asked whether she wanted milk with her coffee.

 _No, no, no, I have definitely not seduced your secret lover in my subconscious_ , she panicked when Mónica handed her her phone that she had dropped like a slippery fish when she'd materialized behind her.

She couldn't take it anymore. She made up a quick excuse, put on her coat and marched into the town.

She would have to come up with the least sexual way to spend the day. She couldn't go skiing for obvious reasons (Sergio and his damn skiing lesson still lingered in her mind) nor dogsledding, and she couldn't go the spa to get a massage either with all those hands roaming over her body.

In the end, she opted for swimming in the small pool of the spa. The only people that seemed to be using it at this time of the day were older tourists and they posed no threat of stimulating any part of her.

So she bought herself a swimsuit from the gift shop (snowflake-themed) and got herself a pool ticket.

Her plan worked surprisingly well. Floating in the water had a numbing effect on her brain and soon all she could think about was how nice it would be to just stay here and keep looking up at the sky through the glass ceiling until her skin turned wrinkly like an old grape. 

Why was she so preoccupied with what had came to pass last night again? It was only human to feel sexual urges and at times she simply had no power over what kind of images her subconscious decided to create when influenced by those needs. She was sure that if she had spent just as much time with Alicia Sierra, she would be having dreams of her too, no matter how infuriating she found her in real life. 

And pleasuring yourself after a sexually-loaded dream? That was completely natural too. It was not as if she actually wanted Sergio to touch her. Fantasy Sergio and real Sergio were completely different people. 

For one thing, fantasy Sergio could not fire her for masturbating at him.

Raquel sighed, sensing that it was probably time to leave the pool. She had gotten what she had wanted by coming here, and people who used the pool for endurance swimming were starting to glare at her (it was not her fault the lanes were so poorly marked!)

She wrapped her bathrobe around her and glanced once more out of the window. The sky was as white as the snow covering the ground and the trees. It really was a shame it was so cloudy. The one time she visited this part of the earth… 

Oh well. It had been probably mere wishful thinking, predicting that something as beautiful as Northern Lights would happen on this trip.

She wandered back to the dressing rooms - or at least what she thought were the dressing rooms. The door she had opened led down to a long hallway and only after she had walked all the way to the end of it did she realize that she had no recollection of this place.

She opened one door, peeked in and saw treadmills. She must be in the gym part of this spa complex. 

It was logical to assume that these rooms would lead to dressing rooms as well. So Raquel walked in and tried the door inside the treadmill room. She opened it and walked in, only to be faced with a room full of exercise bikes.

Jesus, what kind of a maze was this?

There was some noise coming from behind one of the doors. That had to be where the other people were. They would know where the dressing rooms were.

But when she cracked the door slightly open, she saw only one person. The one person in the world she least needed to see right now.

There was a punching bag hanging from the ceiling and it was swaying from the force of the punches the man was laying on it. Sergio.

Strands of his hair were glued to his forehead. His whole body was glistening with sweat, and Raquel found it momentarily impossible to rip her eyes off the toned muscles of his arms. They tautened and relax in a rhythmic, strange dance. It was mesmerizing. 

He was only wearing a sleeveless boxing shirt that was soaked from the back. When he moved and Raquel saw the front of him, she immediately noticed the dark hair peeking out from underneath the neckline. 

_He has hair on his chest_ , Raquel found herself realizing. She was not sure what to do with this information, but it made her feel… strange things.

She was still rooted to her spot when Sergio finally stopped striking the bag. He leaned against it, clutching at the material for support. He rested his forehead against it, eyes clenched shut, breathing hard. The only word Raquel could describe him with at this moment was _tortured_.

She wondered whether this was the place he kept disappearing to.

She started to feel rather awkward, standing here and gawking at him without announcing herself so she did it the only way she knew how:

Taunting him.

"Is that me you are imagining?" she asked.

Sergio snapped his head around.

For a moment, it seemed as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes. Like it was more plausible that Raquel was an apparation of sorts than actually present in this room. But when she took a step closer, his eyes focused. In an instant, they grew two shades darker.

"What are you doing here?

He sounded genuinely furious. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to address him after all. It had just felt somehow dishonest to simply stare at him and sneak guiltily away. She had at least wanted him to know she had seen him. She had also entertained the possibility of getting to ask some questions about this particular hobby of his but she now saw there was no chance in hell of that happening.

She was also now painfully aware that she was standing in front of him while only wearing her bathrobe with the swimsuit underneath it. She better change into something more dignified before speaking to him.

"Sorry, I'll let you be," she said, rising her hands in a surrendering gesture. She turned back to the door and opened it, but before she could step out, Sergio moved swiftly to stop her.

"Oh no, you are not going anywhere," he said, pulling the door closed in front of her. By doing this, he forced Raquel into the corner of the door and the wall. He stopped there, face to face with her, blocking all escape ways.

Before Raquel could let as much as a sound of a protest at the manouver, Sergio moved again. He lifted his hand and carefully, slowly, rested it on her shoulder. Raquel looked at it, puzzled.

At once, he wrenched at the material of the robe so that her shoulder was exposed, along with the thin strap of her swimsuit. 

Sergio frowned, as if he was seeing something highly unexpected. 

"Hey!" Raquel exclaimed, reacting slightly too late. Her brain had been in a weird standby mode for a moment.

"You are not naked," he then said, confused, and it was probably the one sentence she least expected to hear from his mouth. 

"Of course I am not naked," Raquel scoffed. "Why would I be naked?"

Then the realization struck her, and her jaw dropped. 

"Did you think I came here to jump you?" she asked with a scandalized tone.

The deafening silence in the room along with the look in his eyes betrayed that was exactly what he had been thinking.

He was now so close that she could smell the perspiration from his skin. It was an oddly intriguing scent, coupled with the sensation of getting this close of a look of his body like she'd never seen it before.

She was starting to fear she was never able to imagine Sergio as a genderless blob made out of everything annoying in the world.

"Why would you ever think that-"

"Isn't it obvious?" he growled.

No, it most definitely was not. Raquel stared up at him, speechless.

"Honestly, I have no idea what you had in mind, but it seems to be designed to give me as much agony as humanly possible," he began, his voice fast and agitated. "What are you doing, Raquel? Why are you torturing me?"

"I am not torturing you," Raquel answered, confused. No more than usually, when they were ribbing at each other, at least.

"What else can you call what you have been doing this past week? You lay your head on my lap, you always seem to end up naked or near-naked in my presence, you keep touching me, you keep wearing that damn necklace. And last night…"

Raquel's heart stopped beating. Oh god, had he...

He paused to take in a deep breath, as if collecting himself before carefully pronouncing the next sentence. "And last night you made me _listen_."

Alright, time to set herself in fire then. Goodbye cruel world, it was miserable while it lasted.

Sergio's eyes seemed to communicate his desire to wrap his hands around her neck and she tried to communicate back that was it was perfectly alright, she'd rather prefer it if he at least rendered her unconscious for a blissful moment before her body literally collapsed into itself from mortification. But he cut through her thoughts with his next words.

"It as if you are punishing me for it," he said hoarsely.

Raquel briefly turned off her brain that was demanding her make a run for it and leave the country, and focused on what he was saying. She furrowed her brow. What the hell was he talking about?

His voice grew more and more desperate. "Do you _know_?"

She didn't have the faintest what was going on. Raquel felt the urge to shake her head but felt unable to do anything but stare into his black eyes.

"You must know. Otherwise, why would you be doing any of this?" 

He sighed, briefly looking down. "I am sorry, I really am, but I cannot just turn it off no matter how much you hate it. I wish I didn't have these feelings, believe me, I have wished so for the longest time and tried my hardest to get rid of them. But heart just doesn't work that way."

Heart. He must be talking about the woman he loved.

Did he think Raquel knew about her and was now tormenting him because of it?

Sergio had closed his eyes in anguish. "Can you please just… stop. It's already hard enough if those feelings are not answ-"

"I only know what you told me. Last night," Raquel finally answered.

Sergio opened his eyes and stared at her unflinchingly until she continued.

"You said that there is a woman that you love but cannot tell anyone, least of all her."

She paused briefly before continuing. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Sergio was looking more than confounded. She felt she better explain herself. 

"Look, I am not trying to tease you or blackmail you or undermine the relationship you have with her for shits and giggles. Or whatever you are accusing me of doing. I have genuinely just-"

 _-Been very, very unwittingly inappropriate with you._ Crap, this would be hard to explain to HR.

"What did I tell you last night?" he asked, interrupting her.

"Only that there was someone. You did not reveal her name, nothing."

His eyes narrowed, as if he did not quite believe her.

"You must have a guess."

Raquel let out a frustrated noise before starting her angry tirade.

"I do not know! How could I possibly know? I have never seen you even remotely captivated by any woman. I am not a fucking mindreader!"

Sergio looked thoughtful at this. After the longest time, he finally took a step back, giving her room to breathe.

"Good," he simply said, turning around. Raquel stared daggers at his back.

"Let's forget this conversation ever happened." He picked up his towel from the chair and dried his face with it. "You can go now," he muttered after sensing Raquel was still there, glaring at him.

She wasn't about to slink away that easily. He had gone on a full-on passionate rant about his love and was now simply expecting her to disappear and forget it all? After he had accused him of punishing him for his feelings? 

Why in the world did he think she cared about his love life enough to do that?

"Have you fucked her?" she then asked with a low, taunting voice.

The question seemed to fill the whole room. She herself felt its impact as she sensed how difficult the air got to breath all of a sudden. She couldn't justify to herself why she had just asked that, only that it was the only thing she knew would get a rise out of him.

As if in slow-motion, Sergio turned around to look at her. His eyes begged the question of 'what did you just ask me?'

Raquel felt compelled to explain herself. "Just wondering. Some of your behavior and reactions could be explained with the lack of sex."

Sergio began slowly approaching her again, his eyes narrowed into black slits. This almost made her regret opening her mouth. _Almost_.

"Is that an advice you are giving me? Go and fuck her?" he asked with a hoarse voice, stopping a feet from her. 

Raquel offered him a lazy shrug. "Do you want to?"

Sergio then shot her with a piercing look that seemed to say _Oh, you have no idea how much_.

She released a breath that seemed to have gotten stuck in her throat. 

"Could be anyone, really. Your situation seems to be pretty dire," she continued taunting, but with a much weaker and less resolute voice.

The way he then scanned her made her heartbeat pick up the pace. Suddenly, she became aware that her shoulder was still exposed.

"I- I am not offering," she then sputtered, drawing the bathrobe back over the bared skin.

"I did not ask if you were," he said with a deep voice. It pricked at her skin in a way she did not think even possible.

She scoffed, looking away from his smothering gaze. "I could sense you thinking about it."

" _I_ was thinking about it?"

These were the most dangerous tides their conversation had ever veered to. Raquel swallowed. What the hell was happening? And why did she feel like her feet were melting into the floor despite all her senses telling her to get out?

Sergio seemed to realize how perilous things were getting at the same time as her. His expression slowly turned from wound-up to troubled. He retreated a small step.

"This- this is really inappropriate," he began, his voice tremulous. "You should…"

"Yeah," she said, agreeing with him for once.

She reached for the doorknob, but he was still standing so close that when she opened the door, she ended up backing into him.

It would have been fine, had it just been that. Awkward collisions like this happened all the time. But something inside her made her stay a moment longer than she should. A moment during which she ended up being pressing just a tiny, astronomical amount closer against his solid body.

Really, it was just a silly mistake.

The next thing she knew, she was pushed against the wall with Sergio in front of her, holding her still, his face close enough for his breath to gust against her lips. A small gasp tumbled out of her mouth. 

Her first thought was that it had been years since a man had pressed her up against a wall. 

Her second one was that she wouldn't push him away, regardless of what he did next.

 _Oh god, she wouldn't push him away_ , she realized.

An eternity passed in a single heartbeat as they looked at each other. Something in her stomach swirled and billowed, demanding something to be done about this proximity and soon before it was set aflame. But nothing happened. They simply stared at it each other, breathlessly, as if they had both been hit with a sledgehammer to the chest at the same time.

"You… you have to stop doing that," he finally exhaled.

He then let go of her, stepped back before gazing up at the ceiling if asking heavens for mercy. Without laying one last look at her, he disappeared through the open door.

Raquel stayed in the room for a moment longer, if only to slowly try to snuff out the one thought that was still echoing in her mind.

_I wouldn't have pushed him away._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have received many questions about the timeline of this fic so I decided to clear it up here! 
> 
> The company retreat takes two weeks and they are now on day 9.
> 
> Chapter 3 & 4 & 5 & 6 & 7 - 1st day  
> Chapter 7 & 8 & 9 & 10 - 2nd day  
> Chapter 10 & 11 & 12 - 3rd day  
> Chapter 12 - 4th day  
> Chapter 13 - 4th to 5th day (dogsledding happens on day 5th)  
> Chapter 14 - 5th to 7th day (the pub quiz happens on day 7th)  
> Chapter 15 - 7th to 9th day (their encounter at the gym happens on day 9th)

After changing, she was escorted out by a security guard. As it turned out, they had voice-recording cameras in every room and when it looked like two people were about to engage in something that the room was definitely not designated for, the staff took action.

She would have a hard time explaining to her friends why exactly she had been temporarily banned the next time they wanted to go get treatments at the spa with her.

The whole thing was ridiculous. There was no way they were actually going to do anything. Sergio had been simply…

God, she had no idea what he had actually been planning on doing. However, she doubted it would have turned any more physical than that. Sergio might just feel the urge to touch her while feeling particularly passionate or frustrated about something just like his brother that time he had grabbed her shoulders while explaining the difference between 10 euro and 100 euro bottles of wine. She was sure that the mere thought of actual intimate knowledge of her body made his cock shrivel up. 

But had _she_ wanted things to proceed further? 

The question was uncomfortable all around. Just thinking about it made her want to crawl out of her skin, as if Sergio himself was staring at her with his dark and heavy gaze, demanding an answer. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of admitting, even in her private thoughts, that she was attracted to him.

Though he was a really, really attractive man. And she'd had two wet dreams about him after a little over a week spent in close quarters with him. And she wouldn't have pushed him away, even if he had moved his hands up to cup her face and leaned in…

Then again, he was an utter, unremitting asshole and she better cut this train of thought before she would rack up quite the phone bill, having to call her therapist all the way from here. _Was it normal to want to fuck a man who would probably smile if you got hit by a car? No? Thank you for telling me something I already knew._

The most pathetic part of this was probably the fact that even if Sergio wanted her as well, he would probably only picture the woman he loved during sex. 

She hugged herself while walking back to the cabin. She suddenly felt miserable, and the chilly air was not helping the matter one bit. She wished she was back in Madrid in that poorly-ventilated office space where it was usually too hot to even think about these matters without getting dehydrated.

When she finally arrived at her destination, Sergio was sitting on the snowy porch, waiting for her. Or at least, that is how it seemed, but what other reason he would have to stick around in this cold?

She had no idea what to say to him and contemplated briefly on just slipping away unnoticed. Sergio had not looked up so the plan was viable in theory. But that meant staying away from the warmth of indoors for god knows how long just in case he would give up soon. Which he wouldn't, she knew that much about his character. And it was not as if this tension between them would just dissolve by avoiding him. It was better to clear things up now.

"Did they ban you too?" she asked, approaching him with a casual air. "It's outrageous, everyone with a pair of functioning eyes could see that we were not actually going to-"

He spoke up before she could finish.

"I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you a long time ago."

His expression was grave, almost downcast. She waited for him to elaborate, but since there seemed to be no end to the silence in sight, she was forced to question him.

"And what would that be?" 

She wondered for a moment if there was something he wanted to say about the… interesting moment they had shared at the gym, but a part of her was certain that he would never say another word about it. Just as he had never said a word about what had happened at the Christmas party all those years ago.

Sergio drew in a deep breath and rose. He came face to face with her, and his anxiety-ridden features made Raquel reconsider what he might be about to say. Her heart started beating faster for a reason she could not understand.

"I…" he began, unable to look her directly in the eye. Raquel in turn stared unflinchingly at him, her brown eyes wide and curious.

He cleared his throat.

"While the rest of you go home, I am going to stay here. I am not going back."

Raquel furrowed her brow at the absurdity of that statement. How long had Sergio been sitting here in the cold again? Should she be concerned?

"What are you talking about?" 

Sergio looked down at his and Raquel's boots, as if taking a moment to collect himself, before finally lifting his gaze and uttering a single, staggering sentence with a stony expression.

"I'm transferring."

Something inside Raquel froze over.

"What?" she asked once more with a small voice.

"I'm leaving the Madrid branch and taking over the one in Helsinki. It has already been talked about, and I sent my confirmation just now."

Raquel's mind was a whirlwind. This did not make any sense. He had not once told anyone he wanted to leave. He had not even indicated it. And to Finland of all places, which was probably covered in snow in the summer as well and had a completely different language and was so very, very, very far away…

 _Oh god, he had been learning the language_ , she then remembered.

Out of her mouth came the most asinine question possible.

"But it is so cold here. Why would you want to stay?"

"This is hardly about the weather," he chuckled weakly.

Her thoughts were racing too fast in her head. She wished she could just press pause so she could take a moment, just one short moment to consider all this and be able to respond in a calm and level-headed manner-

"Is it because of me?" she found herself asking.

His expression hardened. "Señora Murillo…."

She pursed her hand into a small, frustrated fist. "I asked, is it because of me?"

He said nothing, just looked at her with a rare volume of emotion in his eyes. If she didn't know better, he almost looked grief-stricken.

But she knew better. The knowledge that he was leaving her behind should elicit nothing but joy in him. As the knowledge of never seeing him again elicited joy in _her_. The somberness that was radiating off them both was simply due to other reasons, one of them probably being the insufferably cold weather which was starting to make her feel sick in her stomach.

Then, after an eternity of staring at each other while holding their breaths, he finally opened his mouth.

"I cannot go on like this."

He might as well have punched an icy fist through her. 

"What, is working with me truly that agonizing?" she spat out, her insides twisting in an emotional frenzy.

The hard look in his eyes seemed to suggest so. 

"You always assume that everything is about you," he was finally able to choke out. "This position has a higher salary, better benefits, greater opportunities to advance…"

She was just about to demand him to cut the company-fed crap when he finally finished, revealing to her what she was itching to hear.

"But if you most know, my main incentive is that it takes me 4000 kilometers away from the source of my daily heartbreak," he uttered, his face pale and rigid.

She flushed, realizing the true reason for departure. It was love.

Goddammit, when had the world shifted so that Sergio Marquina was making decisions based on his heart? 

She was suddenly extremely and inexplicably angry. How could he just leave them in the lurch like that because of some woman? She'd had plenty of heartache in her life as well, but it had never prompted her to leave the whole country. And it was audacious for him to tell her only now, giving her only a few days to come to terms with the fact.

It was not fair. It was something akin to a betrayal, even.

"This is good news, actually," she muttered under her breath. "You have been nothing but a pain in the ass for me. Good riddance-"

But before she could continue telling him exactly what she thought about him and had always thought about him, Sergio interrupted her.

"This means my position will be vacant from January on. I have naturally given the corporate my recommendation of my successor."

Raquel blinked up at him. 

"Congratulations. You are promoted."

The small part of her that still thought that the performance review score he'd given her was some elaborate joke did not exactly help her process this information. It was hard enough to comprehend that Sergio was leaving, but to offer her his position?

 _Her_? The woman who he'd just interrupted spewing insults at him?

But so it seemed to be. He was looking at her solemnly like during the performance review. And it was more likely he was telling the truth, as impossible as it might be, than joking. She should know the man was physically incapable of it.

Promotion. It was something she had been manifesting for years by scribbling the word down on the margins of Sergio's meeting agendas. But now that it was an actual reality, she only felt hollow inside.

_No, not like this._

"I hope it comforts you, knowing that suffering all those years under me was worth something," he finally said, his voice betraying no particular unhappiness or joy. He then simply turned around and walked back inside the cabin.

Raquel was left behind, standing there in the snow, her mind reeling.

To go from the bewildering moment at the gym to this was too big of a whiplash to bear. One part of her wanted, strangely enough, to slide down onto the snow and just sit there and feel sorry for herself. The other part of her wanted to follow Sergio back inside and strangle him.

She decided to go with the option that most postponed facing the emotions that these news had given rise to. She marched inside after him.

When she stormed into their room, she saw Sergio sitting on the edge of his bed, reading something. It quickly turned out to be the message she had hidden inside her origami boat. He must have only realized to open it up now.

"No!" Raquel said, wrenching it off his hands.

She quickly crumpled it, praying that she had snatched it before Sergio had been able to read it. 

"You have forfeited your nice message privileges," she explained, shoving the paper ball inside her pocket. Hopefully, Sergio wouldn't be able to draw any conclusions about its contents based on the flush on her cheeks.

Sergio seemed like he was about to say something, but before he could, the words rushed out of Raquel's mouth. 

"You can't just leave us like this!"

Sergio let out a sigh, clearly not eager to continue on this topic. "I have complete trust in you. I am sure you will be fine."

"No, it's not about that," she said. She bit her tongue out of frustration of not being able to articulate her thoughts. "This is just- this is just dishonest. You should have told me."

She avoided his eyes, focusing instead on that garish sheet dividing the room into two halves. She suddenly decided she'd had enough of it.

"And you lost your right to this too."

She climbed on Sergio's nightstand, reached up and ripped the thing violently down. Sergio could only watch as the sheet floated down to the ground.

"You are not getting any small mercies from me after hiding something this big," she said, stepping down from the nightstand as gracefully as she could. 

She ended up stumbling only a little and continued being graceful by pretending ending up on her ass on the floor was her plan all along. Sergio offered her his hand and she instinctively grasped it, letting him draw her up. She only realized her mistake once she was face to face with him and far too close for comfort. She could detect the faint scent of oaky soap from him.

She retreated a step back, her hand still burning where he had touched her. _Shit, when had him doing something like that become normal in their relationship?_

This cabin had to be driving them both mad. It was the only explanation.

"From now on, we will be honest with each other," she continued with a tremulous voice. "And that includes what we truly feel for each other."

Sergio's eyes widened a fraction.

"I do not care if you withdraw my promotion. I am going to be completely open about my dislike for you and I expect you to do the same. For the remaining six days, brutal honesty is the only policy of our relationship."

His features relaxed somewhat again.

She prodded Sergio with one furious finger. "Say goodbye to that sheet. I will be the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before you fall asleep."

Sergio parted his lips as if to say something, but then closed them again.

"When you meet my eyes, I will scowl," she continued, keeping her eyes fixed on him. "If we touch, I will wash my hands hands twice. If you call me señora Murillo, I won't answer."

Sergio frowned as if this was the most unreasonable thing she could have possible said.

"I heard you call me Raquel back at the gym. I know you are capable," she pointed out.

It was a small victory, but one she hadn't been quite able to enjoy at the moment. The situation had been too strange and heated. Bringing attention to the fact might have just returned Sergio to his senses, and for some reason, she had not wanted that to happen.

Sergio offered no reaction to this, but the small twitch of the corner of his mouth revealed that her words had chafed him. He had made a mistake and was annoyed at himself. It brought a triumphant smile on Raquel's lips. 

"Say it. Say my name," she urged.

Just as she expected, Sergio remained silent.

Very well," she drawled, crossing her arms. "In that case, I will only be calling you señor Marquina from now on. Or would you prefer _Profesor_?"

The barely noticeable movement of his Adam's apple betrayed that he had swallowed. But then his eyes hardened again and he breathed out his answer, staring at her in that dark way, that special way he only seemed to reserve for her.

"You may call me whatever you wish, señora Murillo."

Raquel's face fell. 

There was nothing in the world she would have liked more than to curl her fingers around his neck until that look in his eyes faded away. She hated it. 

She hated _him_.

She did not know what she had been thinking earlier, considering such ridiculous things as whether she was attracted to him or not. Of course she wasn't. She loathed him, and if she sometimes felt the urge to touch him, it was only born out of her desire to snap his neck to stop him from talking and looking at her… like _that_.

God, why couldn't he just stop?

Without deigning to answer him, she stalked out of the room and headed straight to the front door. Somehow, only the cool environment of the outside world seemed suitable enough for her boiling-hot rage at the moment.

There she stood on the porch, not even a jacket on her, and stared into the dark, snowy horizon. Her breathing was shaky, almost disturbingly so, and it wouldn't even out no matter how hard she clenched her eyes shut and tried to calm herself down.

Only 6 days more, she thought. 6 days and she would forever be rid of him.

Only 6 days.

There was a lump insistently rising in her throat. She couldn't determine the origin of it and did not spare much thought for it, concentrating all her mental energy on pushing it down instead and thinking about how happy she would be in just a few days' time.

It did not help.

"Hey Raquel! How's it going?" called out someone, startling her out of her reverie. She then heard the sound of several footsteps. The others were coming back from wherever they had been while she had been swimming.

She quickly wiped off her angry tears with her knuckles before anyone could see and turned to face them with a noncommittal expression.

"Good, just thinking about building an effigy of my bastard of a boss and shooting it with a flaming arrow."

Aníbal, who had asked her this question, did not seem quite sure how to answer. He looked at the others and quickly received the assurance that this was something completely normal for Raquel to say and he shouldn't pay any special mind to it.

"Er, not that what you had in plans wouldn't be fun as well, but we were wondering whether you would like to party it up in the more traditional sense."

"What do you mean?" 

As his response, he lifted up a case of beer. The people behind him then showcased assortment of various other types of alcohol.

"We are throwing an office Christmas party here. It would be a crime to go without one just because we are not at our workplace in Madrid," Ágata explained.

Oh god, not today of all days. 

_Not that Sergio leaving wasn't a cause for celebration, it most certainly was_ , Raquel thought while desperately willing the lump in her throat to dissolve. The problem was that she had not been to a Christmas party since the one where _it_ had happened. 

Those kind of occasions blurred the line between professional relationships and other... affinities. They were never a good idea, and she was not sure why she had even gone that first time. She certainly wouldn't repeat that same mistake again.

"Can I opt out?" she said, her tone making it sound that there was only one answer she accepted.

"C'mon Raquel, it would be good for you," Ágata encouraged.

She very much liked to know who was the person that decided that everyone who had been gone through something major in their life simply needed some socialization to fix it all, just so that she could press their head under water and not let go until bubbles stopped forming.

The others started flowing past her inside, carrying bags brimming with various foodstuff and equipment.

 _Oh god, were those mistletoes?_ she thought, seeing something suspiciously green and red peeking out from one of the bags.

"It'll just be a small thing, with only our group and a couple of guests," Ágata assured.

"Just a couple?

"Yes, just a couple."

* * *

Upon further interrogation, it turned out it was more than a couple.

While her colleagues had been in the town, they had encountered other Spanish tourists and two Serbian men who knew Spanish and struck up an almost instantaneous friendship. This friendship was, however, in danger of ending quickly because the other group was leaving Kuusitunturi tomorrow. There had been absolutely no other option than to set up an impromptu party and invite the new acquaintances there.

"There are men, good-looking men," Ágata tried to nudge Raquel who was still less than enthusiastic about the prospect of the cabin filling with strangers. Tonight, she was simply not interested in flirting or even eyeing up anyone across the room, no matter how attractive they were.

She just wanted to go back home, though not the home that was waiting for her in Madrid. She wanted to go back to how everything was before this trip.

Everything was changing too fast and her mind couldn't keep up with it.

"I will only help you set up. I am not joining the party," Raquel stated, her expression indicating that this was her final decision.

Ágata pouted, but did not fight her. "I hope you change your mind."

Raquel left her to hang up the mistletoes (one very good reason to avoid the party tonight) and headed to the kitchen to see if there was something she could help with. She halted and hesitated however, when she saw Sergio there, looking rather miffed as he stared at the amount of alcohol that was piled on the table. It seemed that the others had not run this party plan past him, and he was less than pleased.

When he lifted his gaze, their eyes met.

Some kind of a current seemed to pass between them. Something that relayed the significance of them standing here, Christmas decorations all around them, just like _that_ night.

She felt an instantaneous stab of guilt in her heart. Now it was impossible to flee from the memories that kept on rushing into her head like waters through a cracked dam.

Looking at him now, in this lighting, she could almost see the tiny scar near his ear from when Alberto had crashed the plate against his temple.

The moment was broken a second later when Daniel dragged a large inflatable reindeer into the kitchen. Sergio dodged the creature and walked out, not sparing Raquel another look.

She followed him - To apologize for the hundredth time? To say something else, anything to dissolve this suffocating tension between them? She did not know.

But as she stepped into the living room, she found she couldn't have picked a worse timing.

"Everyone! I have an announcement to make," he called out.

Raquel froze. She considered turning back, but it was too late. She was forced to hear the news he had stunned her with earlier today once again.

He began by expressing his high regard for the people he had been managing for several years now. It was, of course, in the most concise and stiff way possible, but the group was still weirded out by this almost unprecedented amount of praise.

Before Sergio proceeded into his next part, his actual announcement, he exchanged sharp looks with his brother. Andrés's face was grim. It seemed that he was already aware of this all and did not approve. Raquel was almost heartened by it, knowing that there was someone else who condemned this senseless decision.

But despite Andrés' sour glare, Sergio went on and told everyone about his departure. The reactions were mixed, most of the others being as baffled as Raquel at first, but in the end, they simply moved to congratulate him and to form a polite word or two about his leadership.

Raquel couldn't bear to watch it. Where was the fight? Why was no one telling him how stupid of an idea this was? Even Andrés stayed quiet, despite his face revealing just how much he hated this.

"Excuse me," she muttered to no one in particular and escaped back to the kitchen.

There, she leaned against the counter with her arms crossed and eyes closed, trying to curb her desire to go and yell at Sergio. She didn't know what the topic of her angry tirade would be, there was so many things she was livid about, but she was sure she would think of something if she allowed herself to go back there.

She heard someone else come to the kitchen. It was not Sergio, she could recognize his gait anywhere. Still, she wasn't exactly sure she wouldn't be able to keep herself from yelling, no matter who the person was.

"What do you want?" she said, opening her eyes.

The man standing in front of her was, surprisingly enough, Andrés.

"Just wanted to let out some steam in peace," he explained himself in a low voice. His features were tired and sunken.

"Join the club," she huffed out.

He leaned against the counter as well, but stayed a meter's distance from her. Together, they simply breathed in and out. It was comforting in a way, to have someone else to seethe with.

"You should tell your brother how much of an idiot he is being," she finally uttered.

Andrés smiled sadly. "Believe me, I have already told him that too many times to count."

"It would be more helpful to try once more than stay here with me, wallowing in rage," Raquel said, her words inadvertently coming out as a scoff. Dammit, she was already taking her anger out on someone innocent. 

After somewhat successful attempted in calming herself down, she added:

"It's just that you have a bigger change getting through to him than me."

"Oh I am not angry," Andrés exhaled. "I am just sad. It is not easy, letting someone dear to us go."

"No it is not," Raquel agreed. "Especially when his reason for leaving is that idiotic-" 

Raquel clamped her mouth shut, realizing what she'd just said. Or rather, realizing what she'd just admitted by answering in the way that she'd had.

"I mean-" she began, but found herself unable to continue.

Andrés simply smiled sympathetically at her in response and stood up again, leaving her to her distressed thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is coming tomorrow!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad for not having time to answer your sweet and amazing and thoughtful comments. I think I might take one extra day before updating again so I can reply to each one of you. I appreciate hearing what you think so much and I need to show that somehow.
> 
> There is one character from another author's fic visiting in this chapter. Let me know in the comments if you recognized her :D

Goddammit, why couldn't Andrés keep his nose in his own business?

It was the topmost thing on her mind as she pondered over the exchange they'd just had. She was 70% sure he had only wanted to trick her into saying that to produce some amusement for himself. But then again, he had looked downcast, more downcast than she'd ever seen him. It was hard to imagine him being in the mood for any jesting.

In any case, she was angry at herself for letting something like that slip out of her mouth. When Andrés ' spirits rose again, Sergio would surely be the first person he marched to with this information. _Raquel said you are dear to her_ , he would announce and see how his brother reacted. Or if he wanted to be really evil, he would do this when Raquel was present so that she could see Sergio's eyes light up with triumph in real time.

 _Would_ they light up with triumph? She wasn't sure, she was starting to feel like Sergio was not too keen on battling her on anything anymore. He had not even put up a fight when she had ripped that sheet down.

She walked to the entryway of the kitchen and peeked out. The others were welcoming their guests that were steadily pouring inside the cabin. Sergio was sitting on an armchair, not looking too enthusiastic about the upcoming party. He looked almost ten years older, so tired and strained was his whole being. 

The sight caused a pang in her heart. Then she grew distressed again, realizing how seeing him sad had affected her. That was not how their antagonistic relationship worked. She was supposed to be dancing on the table and drinking champagne straight from the bottle now that she knew he was leaving.

And yet, she wasn't. Far from.

But there was no way Andrés had gotten her to voice the truth.

Sergio was not dear to her.

She was happy to see him go.

_Right?_

She tried to take out her phone from her pocket and see if anyone was available for some emergency reassurance that the only thing she felt for Sergio was ire of the deepest kind, but that is when her fingers brushed the paper wad in her pocket. She drew it out, opened it and saw once again the message she had written on Sergio's origami boat.

_I like your smile._

An innocent compliment, she tried to assert to herself and was just about to destroy all evidence of this message ever existing when she recalled something distressing.

The word she had suggested as the name of the drink.

Sonrisa.

_Smile._

She had written it down right after watching Sergio smile and laugh at the opposite table, too mesmerized by the sight to think of anything else before the paper slips were collected. And if that wasn't alarming enough, she had lied to him about what she had written later when he'd asked. 

But that didn't necessarily mean anything. Certainly not that….

She felt the sudden, irresistible urge to get alcohol, any alcohol into her system. Not to party, just to numb her thoughts for a little while. But this was not how the others perceived her rushing into the room and grabbing the nearest bottle of beer.

"Yay! Raquel has decided to join us!" Ágata cheered, and the rest of them cheered too, even though they probably didn't have the faintest idea who she was. 

Raquel flashed them half a smile, half a grimace and lifted the beer bottle to her lips.

But even the warm liquid seeping into her veins did not help. She simply felt even more overcome by her emotions and ended up hiding in the hallway amongst the jackets and coats while the rest of the cabin started quaking to the beat of the music. 

_Stop freaking out,_ she ordered herself as she freaked out.

A small, sensible voice in the back of her head tried to remind her that it was not the end of the world if she actually had some secret, tender feelings toward Sergio simmering inside her. 

Then a louder, more powerful voice crushed the tiny one and declared that she might as well check in at the nearest mental facility in case she even suspected that she wanted to hold his hand instead of clawing at his face.

The bottle of beer was trembling in her hands. She must look like a bobblehead doll going trough a mental breakdown.

"Well, well, who is hiding here?" asked an unfamiliar male voice.

The owner of the voice parted the coats, exposing Raquel from behind them. She was faced with a man with wavy brown hair and a mustache. His smile was warm and gentle.

Ah yes, this was just what she needed; a man. She liked men (that were not Sergio). He was good-looking too (in a way that did not resemble Sergio at all). It was perfect.

"Hi," she said, smiling coquettishly. She would flirt with this man all night, she'd decided. Women whose hearts were free did stuff like that, flirt and party with strangers without any thought to other, inappropriate objects of affection.

"You must be Raquel, right?" the man asked as she stepped into his full view.

"That is me," Raquel said, curious as to how he could have found out her name.

"Your colleagues have told me much about you."  
  
"Oh, have they now?" she answered, flattered.

"Yes." The man's expression then slowly twisted, as if he'd experienced a sudden twinge of pain. Raquel quirked her brow, but before she could ask if everything was alright, he had captured her in his embrace.

"I am glad to see you out here, having fun," he whispered against her shoulder. "It does get better, I promise. I remember when my dog Pamuk…"

It took no time at all for Raquel to realize what was going on. Her colleagues had decided to tell about her situation to this stranger.

Bloody fantastic. And she had been worried that they wouldn't say anything, forcing her to do the work of demolishing her sex appeal all by herself. She couldn't ask for better friends.

She had to stay for a moment longer as the unwilling target of the man's consolation before she was finally able to break free and test her hypothesis. She walked up to her next two targets, the two burly Serbian men.

However, before she had even properly reached them, their faces softened like they were being approached by a drenched kitten. At that very second, Raquel decided to make a U-turn.

The others had invited four men and two women, and not one of them seemed to be unaware of Raquel's entire life story. A scrawny, balding fellow named Benito rested a hand on Raquel's shoulder without any prompting and actually squeezed it; the long-legged woman called Julia offered to mix her a cocktail before Raquel had even introduced herself; and finally, a blonde woman with a perpetually wrinkled nose, as if there was something foul-smelling always in front of her, told Raquel that love was a game and the fact that she'd lost the first round just meant that she had to work on her strategy.

That woman was the first person Raquel had ever come infinitesimally close to slapping during the first five minutes of their acquaintance. Luckily, she was able to restrain herself and excused herself to the bathroom before doing something she'd later regret.

There, she threw some water on her face and tried organize her thoughts. 

Alright, she had been rendered into... whatever the opposite of a sexpot was. But she wouldn't let that bother her. It was not as if she was some young debutante at a ball who would check herself in to a nunnery if no one laid eyes on her. This was a company Christmas party - one she hadn't even wanted to attend in the first place. 

She stepped back into the common area to tell Ágata that she was going to bed already, but she changed her mind the second she laid eyes on what was happening. The unpleasant woman from earlier was talking to Sergio in the corner and touching his arm. 

The fact that _Sergio_ had more going on for him tonight than her was a devastating blow. She strongly considered going back to the bathroom, locking the door and trying to drown herself in the 10 centimeter deep sink bowl. But she couldn't bring herself to move.

Instead, she stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes fixed on Sergio. She tried to detect any marks of interest in him, but he remained stubbornly expressionless as always. 

Then she was forced to consider why exactly she was trying so desperately to see whether he was attracted to the woman he was talking to or not. It was a disquieting thing to contemplate, and she started to feel nauseous.

Oh god, why was this happening to her? Was there some god she had spited without knowing? Had someone up there taken what she had proclaimed about love and herself on top of the arctic mountain as some sort of a twisted challenge? 

She needed air.

At the same time as she moved toward the front door, Sergio began his own escape. He was not watching where he was going, so determined he was to keep his eyes on his companion to make sure she was not following him. He ended up bumping his shoulder against Raquel's.

"Can you not?" she snapped and tried to move away, but the route was quickly blocked by Daniel.

"Mistletoe! These two are standing under a mistletoe!" the man yelled out, like he had just seen the fucking moon fall from the sky. Raquel knew it was a mistake to let him live after he pointed out her jacket during that important meeting where she'd had her presentation.

The others quickly surrounded them. Even the guests seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of catching her and Sergio under the mistletoe. Was there anything the others had _not_ told them?

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" they started chanting.

"C'mon guys, you cannot seriously expect us to-" Raquel began, but her voice was drowned out by the loud chanting.

She turned to look at Sergio who seemed to have a hard time processing what was happening. He looked just as baffled as had he been suddenly beamed up to an alien spacecraft. 

At least he did not looked queasy which was probably the best case scenario. Perhaps they would get through this with only minor psychological injuries.

"Let's just get this over and done with. Lay a quick one on my forehead or something," Raquel whispered to him.

Her words seemed to finally make his gaze grow focused. He glanced at her lips, then at the others, then at her again. Raquel stood still, waiting for the inevitable. There was a small, nervous knot in her stomach she did not know how to explain away.

His jaw clenched. Raquel saw him flex his fingers by his side. _Just do it. The quicker you make a move, the quicker it is over._

He leaned a microscopical amount closer. Raquel closed her eyes.

But then, his voice rang out: "No."

Just a simple, cruel 'No'. Nothing else could have had a more crushing effect.

She opened her eyes to see him shaking his head, grimacing. He was turning around to leave the spotlight they were forced into. People were booing him as he went, but he did not seem to mind. He just pushed his way through the crowd and walked away.

The anger that was building inside her momentarily blinded her. It was ridiculous. She shouldn't have expected anything else to happen, but still, she was rendered into a quivering ball of rage.

She did not know what was more humiliating, Sergio leaving her like that or the shocked expression her face had stiffened into. 

Perhaps it was neither of those two. Perhaps instead, it was the sensation inside her that only she was aware of.

Rueful disappointment.

* * *

Little by little, the party started to die down, probably not helped by the disheartening moment by the mistletoe. Most of the people still full of vigor migrated to the kitchen where the remaining alcohol and snacks were. Raquel stayed behind on the couch, a bottle of lukewarm beer in her hands. Her only companion was one of the Serbian men who seemed to have crashed on the armchair with Christmas lights draped around his neck.

"I have had the worst night," she announced to him.

There was no answer, just a quiet snore indicating that he was still alive. What more did she need from an impromptu confidante?

"It is not enough, for the universe to doom me into a sexless existence. Apparently, I have to keep being reminded of my complete lack of sex appeal at every possible moment," she continued.

Just then, the blonde woman tried to step into the living room, but Raquel shot such a nasty glare in her direction that she skittered right back to the kitchen like some small, cowardly animal. She had been the only person who had smiled when Sergio had refused to kiss her.

 _Yes, you better scram, you weasel_ , she thought and resumed her conversation with the slumbering man.

"Every single person in this cabin sees me as a quivering, poor battered woman that might just burst into tears if they make any overture toward me. The only exceptions are you, because you seem very out of this world at the moment, and my asshole boss."

Raquel scowled at the memory from earlier.

"Not that the way my boss sees me is in any way preferable. Tonight, he actually made a face when he ended up under a mistletoe with me. A grimace. Like he'd rather kiss chipped wood."

She took a sip of her beer. It tasted like piss, but it was alcohol nonetheless, so she let it slide down her throat.

"Not that I expected him to do anything else but still…"

She sighed sadly.

"Doesn't exactly make one feel beautiful, does it?"

Even though no one was actually in the receiving end of her words, she started feeling self-conscious. She must look pathetic, writhing in self-pity in this dark room while everyone else was having fun in the kitchen. Still, she continued. 

"Though I am not sure what is worse, that or the other people avoiding me like I was a leper whenever I was in the vicinity of a mistletoe."

Almost as if answering her, the man's head nodded down. Well, that certainly did not help.

"What am I even blabbering about?" Raquel groaned. "Whining won't make me any more desirable. Probably makes me just look sadder than I already do, especially since I am doing it to a guy who is not even conscious."

She abandoned her beer bottle and leaned in closer.

"I do not even know your name," she murmured.

The man did not answer. She smiled a wistful little smile.

"I am just going to call you Helsinki. I wish I was there already, catching a flight back to Madrid."

With this said, she slumped back against the couch, feeling sorry for herself. She only lifted her head when she heard footsteps in the room. Then there was the sound of a door closing. She hadn't been able to see anyone in the darkness of the room, however. It made her wish that she had just imagined the noise and no one had heard her miserable little speech.

* * *

The party officially came to a close about an hour later. The guests left, jolting Helsinki the good listener awake and taking him with them to Raquel's regret. The party organizers who had been so full of energy half a day earlier now only made a half-hearted effort to clean everything up before giving up and leaving the mess for tomorrow.

Raquel lethargically zigzagged through the junk on the floor while gulping down her fifth glass of water. She was determined not to get hungover again. She did not want to add anything more to the misery she was sure to feel tomorrow morning.

 _Five days to go in the morning_ whispered a voice in the back of her mind. She quickly suffocated it and plodded to her and Sergio's room.

The man was not in his bed. Good, Raquel's eyes were already strained enough from glaring at him all night One last mean look thrown in his direction might just have popped the ligaments holding them in place.

Her intention was to simply drop herself back-first on her bed and pray for a quick release to the world of dreams, but she ended up pricking her shoulder on something as she did just so.

Ouch.

She turned around to see what exactly she had hurt herself with and was faced with a sharp origami crane whose neck she had just deformed. 

Since no one in this cabin was interested in something as geeky as origami, it was safe to say that Sergio had just left this on her bed and ended up stinging her. Typical of him.

She turned the paper bird in her hands. Was this supposed to mean something? She was too tired and pissed to decipher such things.

But just when she was about to put it away, she remembered her own message she had hidden in the folds of her origami boat. Feeling rather silly, she parted one of the folds of the crane and peeked in. 

Indeed, there was Sergio's handwriting inside, and Raquel did not even have to unwrap the whole bird to be able to read the single sentence written inside. 

_You deserve to feel beautiful._

Raquel stared at it. She then stared at it for some more, reading the message over and over again.

_Beautiful._

It did not take long for her vision to turn scarlet red.

She curled her fingers into a fist, almost crushing the bird into a mush as she did so. But she refrained from completely destroying the origami. She would find Sergio and when she did, she would shove its sharpest parts into his tiny eyes.

* * *

Raquel pushed head inside the kitchen and found him. He was doing dishes in the middle of the night while the people who had left the clutter and gunk behind were already snoring in their beds. _Of course._

She felt like punching him.

She stepped into the room without any bravado, simply announcing her presence with a loud "What the hell are you doing?"

Sergio started and turned around to look at her, a stack of plates in his hands. After registering Raquel's unthreatening presence, he looked down at them.

"Um, doing dishes?"

She so badly wanted to slam those plates from his hands but refrained from doing so. That would create a mess he would surely pay more attention to than to her.

"No, with shit like this," she said and flung the origami crane at him.

It ended up not making it even halfway to him before dropping down like a dead fly. She should have probably considered how effective this motion would be before doing it. Sergio looked down at his creation with a confused frown.

"If you don't like origami, you can just throw it in the trash."

Raquel pinched her eyes shut. "No, I do not mean the crane. I mean the message inside it. You keep doing stuff like this and I just- I don't understand."

Her voice broke halfway through out of frustration. Dammit, she was supposed to present a furious but determined front before him but that tiny part of her that kept clinging to the word _beautiful_ was sabotaging her. Sergio only looked more confused now.

She tried again, instilling more passionate fury in her voice.

"Either you are just screwing with me or you sincerely think, in that thick skull of yours, that things like that would fix everything you have done to me."

Some emotion crossed across his face that was not confusion nor his usual brutal indifference. Raquel took it as a sign she had caught his attention.

"Does it help you sleep at night if you occasionally bump me into first class or give me a necklace or hide a compliment inside some stupid paper bird? Explain it to me!"

Sergio did not answer.

Raquel let out a long and exasperated sigh, letting some of the burning steam inside her out. She then spoke, rapidly:

"I'd rather you just committed to making my life miserable instead of…"

_making me believe you feel something other than contempt for me._

She ignored that thought and continued her rant without missing a beat.

"Like the performance review… or this promotion you are suddenly offering me. It doesn't make up for the fact that you have been a complete bastard to me as long as I can remember!"

Sergio's face slackened, then tightened again. She had no idea what it meant, but even if he suddenly gave her the nastiest scowl he could manage, she would still keep going until everything that was weighing on her heart was out there.

"And then that moment under that mistletoe," she continued, suddenly recalling another good point to make. "I get it, you cannot possibly fathom a world where kissing me wouldn't make you throw up inside your mouth. So you walk off instead of offering me a quick, painless peck. Fine, that is your choice, but at least have the balls to stick to your decision and not later on shove me this and expect me to feel better."

She picked up the crane and wrenched the folds open so the message was displayed before his eyes.

 _"You deserve to feel beautiful._ Yes, I do! But you are certainly not helping the matter, embarrassing me and leaving me unkissed like that."

To add emphasis to her words, she tore up the piece of paper with a few violent motions.

They both watched the shreds slowly fall down to the floor between them.

"Next time, just be honest. It is all I am asking of you," she huffed out, finding herself suddenly breathless at the exertion of this all. "For the last few days we'll spend together, be that."

Sergio's face had petrified to his ever-so-familiar mask. The only thing she seemed to be accomplishing was fogging up his glasses with this maniacal tirade. 

She felt like throwing in the towel and just leaving, but found herself unable to do so without at least trying to sting him with her remaining venom one last time.

"You have no idea how _relieved_ I am that you will be gone," she breathed out. She then transformed her voice into a sneer.

"I won't miss you one bit, Sergio Marquina." 

With that said, she turned around and began marching away.

What she did not expect was Sergio actually saying something.

"Won't you let me answer, señora Murillo?" 

His voice was a deep and booming thing. It made her stagger.

"Not if you keep calling me that, _Profesor_ ," she quipped quickly, trying not to let any part of her betray how he'd startled her and resumed her exit.

"Señora Murillo!" he called out after her. There was the sound of clatter as he slammed down the pile of dishes from his hands.

"Nu-uh. I do not respond to that name," she answered.

Still, he tried. "Señora Murillo!"

Raquel ignored him and kept going. She heard Sergio follow her.

Finally, the most unexpected sound came from his lips.

"Raquel!" 

She smiled.

"There you go. That wasn't so hard, was it-"

She was about to turn around, perhaps to tell him to say it one more time as she looked him in the eye, but that motion was forced by Sergio's hand which grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him.

His hand glided higher to cup her shoulder. At first glance into his dark eyes, she thought he was going to explode into an angry rant in front of her.

But instead, he kissed her.

He ferociously, breathtakingly, her-body-suddenly-turning-lax, kissed her.

She only had the time of one heartbeat to consider what was happening, but even before that was up, her senses had already dissolved into a molten, hot blur. 

She had lifted her hand to his chest. She did not know why - perhaps to push him? Smack him?

If such plan had ever existed, it was quickly abandoned because in the next moment she found her arms slung around his neck and her feet arching, rising on the tip of her toes. Sergio responded by encircling an arm around her waist and drawing her even closer.

The lips that had always seemed so rough and harsh to her were surprisingly soft, but the force they were moving against hers was bruising. His mouth was moving with a heated urgency, like he was a parched man who had promised himself only one gulp of water but was unable to stop himself after the exhilarating first drop. He tasted like spicy apple cider, and it was the only thing she could think about, the only thing that grounded her while her heart raced hundred kilometers an hour, her skin burned under his touch and her stomach fell and fell and fell. 

She wished she could show even a modicum of restraint as she pressed against him, but it was all too perfect and she'd rather die than part now. The kiss had elicited a spark of hunger in her that she found unmatched in every memory of her previous kisses. Something inside her rolled and pulsed hotly. The sensations dismayed her (This was Sergio! _Sergio_!), and yet, she basked in them, closing her eyes and opening her mouth to him in pursuit of something that would feel even more glorious. A low sound rumbled from deep within him as he eagerly pushed forward.

The kiss was far from elegant. It was wet and clumsy and starving, but she did not care. Kissing him felt like the adrenaline rush of a chase, as electrifying as a strike of a lightning, as terrifying as being lost in dark woods. Much of it was like fighting, this push and pull at each other as if a winner would be crowned the second they parted for oxygen. But maybe there was no winner. Maybe they were both just two moths drawn toward the flame that would soon scorch them both.

Both of his arms were now around her, holding her against him as tight as he could. She let her hand slide down his arm, feeling the rock-solid muscle underneath her fingertips. Her breath was coming out in short, ragged bursts that he kept on swallowing with his lips. When she finally had to break free to gulp for air properly, the tiny part of her brain that had been processing this whole chain of events grabbed the wheel and forced her to confront what was happening.

She was kissing her boss, her sworn enemy.

But all that regained rationality soon vanished again as he leaned in to press one more kiss on her lips. Then another, then another. Raquel returned each of these small kisses, still just as greedy and unwilling to let this end as him.

But soon came the moment when they were both too breathless to give in anymore. Raquel looked up at him, blinking, begging for an explanation with the frantic flutter of her lashes.

Sergio was still holding her, his face so close his nose was poking the side of her cheek. He only had one answer to give her.

"You don't know what you ask of me, Raquel," he rasped out.

His wounded expression faded from the way of something unreadable.

He let go of her, turned and left the room without looking at her.

As she watched him go, Raquel brought her fingers up to touch her lips where he had branded her. Perhaps forever.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for taking so long. With the new school semester starting this week, I decided to prioritize getting this chapter up before answering comments or interacting much on twitter, but it still took me hell of a long time. Probably because the chapter is once again pretty long.... oops.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I know I am not much of a fic author, being unable to stick to a schedule or answer comments, but your support still means the world to me. Writing this story and hearing what people think about it brightens my day so much. I hope you like this one.

He had kissed her.

Sergio Marquina had kissed her.

Something like that was hard to recover from. Raquel ended up backing against the counter for support. She felt like she was still in free fall. Her body was hot liquid and she was fighting a losing battle against melting into a puddle on the floor. She knew she should be running after him to wrench out an explanation for this unprecedented moment of intimacy, but at the moment she was unable to do anything but try to catch her breath and dwell in the wonderful memory that had been his soft lips on hers.

It had felt so good, and she desperately wanted more, despite all her instincts telling her not to. A voice in her head was trying to convince her that she would feel this way about anyone, it had been so long since she'd last been kissed, but her heart knew better. The reason for her current state was the distinct fact it had been _him_.

The realization was disorienting, and she had to grab a firmer hold of the counter. She gave herself 60 seconds to panic about it.

Once that time was up, she pressed her hand against her chest in order to try and calm her racing heart and reflected on her situation. Her mood darkened as she thought about this new, strange world she found herself in. 

Why _him_? How great of a masochist was she truly?

This had given rise to a heap of new, uncomfortable problems for her, and she found a spark of anger growing inside her at the thought of the impending emotional burden, especially since the object of her affection was leaving her in just a few days. Why had he had to kiss her? Why couldn't he just have left her in her blissful ignorance of what her stupid heart wanted?

Once again, he'd made her life more difficult and if nothing else, she needed a very good justification for what had just taken place to make up for it. Any additional benefits - such as fighting with him reminding her of the deep distaste she felt for him and making her annoying feelings vanish in a puff - would be also welcomed. 

She stalked angrily to their room. She was just about to wrench open the door and yell at him (or harshly whisper in actuality, she did not want to wake up the others who already had had to suffer through too many of their spats at work), but she halted at the sight she could see through the narrowly ajar door. 

Sergio was inside, furiously pacing around the room in his pyjamas. Every so often he raked his fingers through his hair, leaving his dark locks in an increasing disarray. The look in his eyes was truly and well distressed. Raquel wouldn't be surprised to see he had left a trail in the shape of a circle on the floor. 

Could it be that he was freaking out just as she had been?

Probably for different reasons though. The man was probably worried about losing his job. As if Raquel had any right to tattle on him after all the ways she herself had traumatized him during this trip.

She continued observing him, up until the point he finally crumpled down on his bed and buried his head in his hands. There was something oddly heart-melting about the sight of him so worried. Raquel found her anger fading, but tried to grasp at it again at the last moment before it slipped from her fingers entirely. No, he did not get a free pass just because he was clearly regretting it.

Raquel drew herself to her full length and stepped into the room with her head held up high. Sergio snapped his head up and looked at her.

She halted in front of the door and stared back at him, waiting. She wouldn't be the one opening her mouth first. It was Sergio who had some explaining to do, and she wouldn't deign to even question him.

She ended up waiting for a long time. Sergio did not say anything, just gazed at her with thousands of thoughts and emotions flashing in his eyes. But he did not voice a single one of them. 

In the end, she grew frustrated at this and turned to her things. If this was how he wanted to play, so be it. He could keep his mouth shut all he wanted and pretend nothing had happened, but he would be a fool to expect her to acknowledge his presence in the meanwhile. From now on, he would be like air to her.

She changed into her pyjamas as if she was alone in the room. However, she did succumb to the temptation to see if Sergio was looking and glanced over her shoulder, but the man had climbed in his bed and now had his back turned to her. Raquel shot him a glare and lay down on her own bed.

They remained there in an uncomfortable, heavy silence. Raquel found it difficult to find a position to settle in, but she was also anxious not to cause too much noise. The atmosphere in the room was strange and just as she did not want to be aware of Sergio's presence, she did not want him to be too aware of _her_ either. As if just him thinking about her was kindling to something dangerous.

Eventually, she turned to face Sergio's side of the room to find him staring at her. His lips were slightly parted and the look in his eyes was deep and searching. Raquel answered his gaze, strange nervousness consuming her. It felt something had forever shifted between them, and that she would never be able to just look into his eyes again with perfect indifference. The tension between them was too palpable.

They continued staring at each other across the room. Sergio looked like he wanted to say something but lacked the courage to do so. So they simply remained, quiet and curious.

Eventually, Raquel made a decision. Not one she had thought very much about in advance, but she moved forward with it regardless. She rose from her bed and walked toward Sergio.

The man did not protest as she slowly settled down next to him, though he did move an inch farther away - because he was startled by her proximity or because he wanted to make her space, she did not know. But in the end, she was lying next to him, a few centimeters of air between them, though there might as well been none at all. It certainly felt like she was touching him all over, her skin heating up and her body tensing as if she was suddenly suspended in air, kilometers and kilometers from solid ground.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked, a hint of surprise in his voice. As if he had expected Raquel to rather land a smack on his face than do this.

"You seem more preoccupied with staring at me across the room than offering me an explanation about what just happened. I thought I would make it easier for you, in case that might loosen up your tongue," she answered.

Sergio's mask kept flickering on and off, not quite sure whether to take over his face or not.

 _This is inappropriate_ , his eyes said.

 _And what was your kiss then?_ she answered with her own.

Unable to offer an answer to that, he closed off, his gaze growing distant. He seemed no closer to answering her question, so Raquel finally had to be firm.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked.

It took a moment before he answered.

"I wanted to _show_ you."

"Show me what?"

He seemed to reconsider his words and moved swiftly to another topic.

"You wanted a kiss under the mistletoe."

Raquel scrunched up her face. "I did not _want_ a kiss under the mistletoe. I expected one as common courtesy. We were not under the mistletoe, we were in the kitchen surrounded by dirty dishes. And what I had in mind was more like a peck, and not…"

She let out an exhale at the skin-tingling memory. "…What ended up happening."

Sergio seemed to be thinking about the same thing, because his gaze darted to her lips. But before it could rest there for long he realized what he was doing and turned his eyes firmly to the ceiling.

"I am sorry. I do not know what came over me. I was tired and not thinking properly…. Though I know it is no excuse."

There was something familiar now on his face. It was the same look that had crossed his features when Raquel had pointed out that he had called her by her first name. She had no other word for it but 'sense of defeat'.

She smiled. As novel and strange this situation was, there was nothing that could bring her as much familiar satisfaction as besting Sergio at something. Or rather, his self-control.

It was a nice, intriguing thought. She rolled it in her mind, enjoying it, savoring it.

Sergio Marquina, the man who hated her guts still found her irresistible. It was the triumph of the century.

"You know, what I find funny is the fact you were able to look me in the eye and say that you don't find me attractive enough to be even remotely tempted, and yet, you kiss me like _that_ ," she said, the teasing words uttered in a wispy little breath.

Sergio's eyes hardened. 

"I remember you kissing me back quite passionately despite the fact that you told me you wouldn't do it with me if my cock could cure cancer," he answered after a moment.

Heat shot to Raquel's cheeks. He was not supposed to fire back at her, and whenever he did talk to her in this manner, she found herself completely flustered.

"That was about sex. Completely different thing," she objected.

"Is it?"

For a moment, all that was audible in the room was the sound of their breathing. Raquel found herself suddenly uncomfortable with this proximity, along with the topic of conversation. How come their chats always strayed to sex at some point?

Oh well, she might as well go straight to the point now that they were in these dangerous waters anyway.

"I think I may have finally figured out what is your problem," she murmured.

Sergio lifted his brow with lazy curiosity.

"You want me. And you _hate_ it."

He did not say anything, but the way he tensed betrayed as much as a simple 'You caught me.' Raquel continued.

"It would explain everything. From you refusing to touch me to that pained look you always have on your face when you look at my bare skin. Is that why you didn't want to share an elevator with me the day I had that wardrobe malfunction? Were you worried you wouldn't have been able to keep yourself from pushing me against the wall?"

She was only teasing him. That was at least what she told herself, but she had a feeling there was something powerful inside her urging her to say these words to him just to see how he would react - with the hope that the reaction would be a specific one.

"I have got you now, Sergio Marquina," she finished off huskily, nudging her knee against his. 

Thus far he had been determined to ignore her while she explained her theory, but that simple motion made him react. He reached for her leg and gently pushed it farther from him. Raquel held her breath as his fingers lingered on the hem of her pyjama shorts a little longer than they should.

"How are you always so sure your assumption is correct?" he finally asked in a low voice.

"Are you claiming that it is not?

"I am not claiming anything."

"That is the same as admittance," she cooed.

"No it is n-"

But before he could finish his objection, Raquel had wedged her knee between his legs.

For a second, the world was devoid of sound. They were not breathing, and even their hearts had stopped beating. They merely stared at each other and wondered why this simple contact felt so impossibly good. More than good. She wanted more of it, she wanted back in his arms and his hot skin against hers and-

Raquel swallowed. God, lusting after your boss was such a cliché, and if she was in her right mind, she would think any desire she felt for Sergio of all people was born out of some demon that had to be exorcised and quick, but she was not in her right mind and now she wanted nothing more than do something extremely stupid.

But she had no chance to do anything more before Sergio's dark eyes started showing more anger than anything else.

"You are only taunting me," he breathed out. "The fact that I got so lost in that kiss is amusing to you and now you are trying to provoke a reaction out of me. That won't happen. I am not your free entertainment."

With that said, he moved farther away, letting Raquel's knee fall on the mattress. Then he turned his back to her.

"Go back to your own bed," he muttered. "I am too tired for this."

 _Well, this is interesting_ she thought as she stared at his back. 

Could it be? Could Sergio really think so little of himself to believe that Raquel was only tormenting him? That this tension was only one-sided?

Could he really be that blind?

It was possible he might think that. Raquel herself had thought not too long ago that he detested her touch. But all this was starting to prove her wrong. Maybe, maybe she was right. 

He wanted her. He wanted her so bad that a simple favor of a kiss had turned into an inferno of passion.

Something warm swelled in her chest, making it hard to breathe. Yes, it was _Sergio_ but she had never wanted a man to touch her more. And he actually seemed to want it too. That kind of a coincidence was too rare and precious to go to waste, no matter how much she would regret this in the morning.

She had been suppressing herself for far too long. It was time to throw all caution to the wind.

She grasped his shoulder, coaxing him to turn back around. He did so to a small degree, just enough to be able look at her from the corner of his eye.

"I stand behind my theory," she stated. "And not because I want to tease you."

"Then why?" he asked, his voice a pained thing. She inched closer.

"Because I want it to be true," she whispered.

She leaned in to kiss him.

The second her lips touched his lips, she was melting again. He was the only man who made her feel like this, like she was made out of sparks flying around in an uncontrollable frenzy. It did not take Sergio long to answer her kiss, and soon she felt his thumb brush over her cheekbone. Suddenly, she was mad that she had not been doing this for every second of her adult life.

As the kiss continued, the energy between began to pulse more violently and their movements grew urgent. She shifted more of her body over his and his hand started to wander, moving down from her face to frantically skim her figure. The motion made her shiver. 

Soon, his burning hot hand was resting in the narrow space that was between the hem of her pyjama top and her shorts and she felt like she would die if he took it away, but at the same she wanted him to move it lower. _Please_.

She slipped her tongue in his mouth and soon they were kissing like the sun was about to swallow the earth. Sergio's mouth on her was desperate and his other hand clutched at her like he was afraid she was about to run away any minute now, but his other hand kept frustratingly still on her lower back. 

Sergio ended up being the first to break free and gasp for air. She'd felt like she had been running out of oxygen for a good while now so she accepted this pause gladly, panting. But in a devastating turn of events, Sergio then removed his hand from her skin. The loss was profound.

"You don't know what you are doing," he whispered.

"Don't patronize me," Raquel said and leaned in for another kiss. But Sergio evaded her.

His next words came out in one weak exhale.

"I can't."

Raquel froze.

This gave him time to withdraw the rest of him from her, sitting up and moving to the other side of the bed. But since the bed was so narrow, he was still close enough for Raquel to be able to sense his ragged breaths against her skin.

It was only then she comprehended what was happening.

Rejection.

She wished it took her mind longer to arrive at a possible reason for it. She wished it was more complicated than that, if only for the sake of her heart.

But the truth was ugly and merciless.

"Because of her?" she asked weakly.

Sergio did not say anything, looking down with his eyes clouded with pain. But even that was enough for her to draw her own conclusion.

She did not know what was worse, the stinging hot embarrassment that followed or the fast-spreading, bottomless hollowness in her chest. 

She suddenly couldn't be farther away from him. She clambered up from the bed as fast as she could, even the thought of his body brushing against hers now disgusting her.

She could feel Sergio's gaze on her back. She hated it. She did not want him to look at her. She did not want him to look at her and feel even a semblance of moral superiority for pushing her away. He had been the one to start this with his kiss. 

He turned to look at him, forcing all of the ire she now felt into her gaze.

"I would say I am sorry I am not her, but I really am not," she then said frostily.

With that said and the look of anguish on Sergio's face absorbed, she went to her own bed.

She spent the rest of the night with her back turned to Sergio and the covers drawn over like a shield. Her heart felt like it was held together by a single strip of tape.

 _I do not care,_ she kept insisting to herself whenever the thought of Sergio and his love wandered to her head. 

_I do not care._

* * *

She was not entirely surprised to see Sergio's bed empty and his stuff gone when she woke up the next morning. It was only natural continuation to the sad farce that was this company retreat.

On his bed was left a message for her.

_I think it is best if I spend the remaining nights at a hotel. Please do not tell anyone about what happened._

After processing these words, Raquel had to decide between two ways to deal with the ensuing, crushing emotions; whether to dedicate a good chunk of her morning to crying in the shower or bottle up those feelings and transform them into contempt.

As exhausting as loathing Sergio was, it was familiar, almost comforting. She knew how to deal with it. It was safer than the other option, and would perhaps make the transition into Sergio-less life easier.

The note certainly warranted some anger too. _Please do not tell anyone about what happened._

She hated the thought of being someone's dirty little secret, especially his. Then again, she wouldn't have told anyone anyway. Her own reputation was at stake here and…

She just couldn't do that to him. She owed him that much after the Christmas party.

Still, it was insulting of him to have to ask.

She crumbled up the note in her hands, flung it furiously to the other side of the room and marched out.

In the kitchen, people seemed to be already discussing Sergio's departure. She stopped to listen.

"So where is he exactly?"

"I am not sure. But he will be back later to check up on us," Andrés answered.

So he would be back. Raquel would have to face him sooner or later. Her hands wound around the door knob painfully tight. At this moment, she wasn't so sure how well she would manage that. 

"Good. He cannot just bail on us. He is our supervisor, he has to make sure we are not spending our time destroying the company name and that we are making friends with our assigned victims and all."

Someone else piped in.

"He has some nerve telling us to befriend each other when each minute he spends with Raquel is just making them both want to murder each other more. Either that, or they are going to end up f-"

That was when Raquel stepped in, letting everyone in on her presence.

"If you want to know where Sergio is, he is over at the hotel where I cannot distract him from weeping over that great unattainable love of his."

Her words came out a bit too much as a bitter scoff. Raquel pinched her mouth shut and walked up to the coffee machine with as casual of an air as possible.

"What are you talking about?" Daniel asked. 

Only then Raquel realized not everyone knew as much about Sergio's love life as her. She regretted opening her mouth, especially seeing that Daniel, extremely curious now, was leaning so forward in his chair that he was going to topple to the floor any moment now. 

"There is just this woman he loves," she said noncommittally. "He told me while he was drunk out of his mind."

Daniel grinned. "Sergio in love with someone? Well that would be a sight to see!"

"Gee, I wonder who she is," Andrés said dryly to Daniel and lifted his coffee mug to his lips. 

Raquel snapped her head to Andrés's direction quick enough to almost give herself a whiplash. _Wait, did he know?_

"You must know, you are his brother. Is there anything you can say?" she urged.

Andrés shook his head with a small smirk playing on his lips. "No. That secret is known only to a carefully curated group of people. And Erik."

 _Who the hell is Erik?_ Raquel thought.

"I have a theory," Silene then announced.

Now Raquel whipped her head to her. "You do?"

Silene leaned toward her with a conspirational smile on her face.

"Fasten your seatbelt, baby, because it is going to blow your fucking mind."

She then mimicked her brain blowing apart with her hands, her eyes widening almost comically large as she did so. There was a mocking quality in her voice that Raquel did not appreciate. She frowned.

"Oh stop bullying her, Silene," Mónica sighed.

"What? Sometimes people need some gentle bullying to knock some sense into them."

Raquel was getting frustrated. "Just tell me your theory."

"My theory is this…." Silene began, and then started drumming her fingers against the table to build up the anticipation. It was close Raquel did not take a swing at her with her coffee mug.

When the drumroll finally ended and Silene offered her answer in the form of a simple gesture. She pointed at Raquel.

Mónica grabbed Silene's hand and lowered it back again. 

"It is just that we suspect… that his feelings for you might not be entirely professional," she explained.

_We? Jesus._

"I get what you are trying to say," Raquel said, rolling her eyes. "Haha, very funny. Sergio is only pulling at my ponytail because he _likes_ me."

Everyone began nodding and smiling at this which only made Raquel angrier.

"First of all, that is a theory only the mothers of preschoolers think plausible, and second of all, you are doing Sergio disservice by believing him to be this immature and inadept. That is simply not how an adult man would act. If there is one thing we are all aware of, is that Sergio is by far the most grown-up person here."

The others were silent now, perhaps absorbing her words and realizing how foolish their assumptions had been. Raquel waited with her arms crossed for them to finally voice their agreement.

But instead of them somberly acknowledging their mistake and apologizing, they all broke into huge grins.

"Look at Raquel defending him. I think she _lurrves_ him back."

This made them all break into raucous laughter that made the whole kitchen shake.

 _Lord help me, I am surrounded by actual children,_ Raquel thought.

She slammed her coffee mug down at the counter. "Let me know when you have matured a decade or two and I'll come enjoy breakfast with you."

This only made them laugh harder. Raquel decided enough was enough and marched out of the room.

"She is even wearing the necklace he gave her," Aníbal pointed out, and it was the last thing she heard before leaving.

That made Raquel glance down. Indeed, she was wearing the necklace once again. She must have instinctively put it on. After all, she had worn it every day after he'd given it to her.

The realization upset her, and she found her way to her room in order to take it off. As she unclasped it, she angrily wondered why Sergio had given her something this pretty in the first place. After seeing this necklace at the jeweler's, she shouldn't have been the woman that came in his mind first. He should have just gotten her some tacky medal and bought this for his special someone.

Unless, of course, he couldn't give it to her because of whatever was standing between them. So he'd defaulted to gifting Raquel this necklace in hopes that it would buy her contentment in her position, all the while imagining what it would actually look like on the neck of the woman he loved.

She suddenly couldn't stand the sight of it. She threw it on her bed. 

She would no longer wear it, she decided. She wouldn't give Sergio the satisfaction of thinking that she accepted it and thought it a suitable reward for years of torment. 

Actually, she would get rid of it altogether. If she kept it, it would only be a painful reminder of Sergio and the years spent working under him. 

She thought about pawning it, but that seemed inauthentic. She would still get to enjoy Sergio's gift, but in the form of money this time. She did not want to enjoy anything he'd given her. She no longer wanted him to affect her life in any way. So the necklace would have to be completely rejected.

After a moment of googling, she found out there was only one jeweler's within a 100 kilometer radius; a small boutique in Kittilä. That had to be place where he had gotten it.

* * *

So she drove to Kittilä. The others had been puzzled to see her go, some even apologizing for the way they had joked around earlier, but that had only made her more determined to leave. She didn't want the ludicrous notion of her being Sergio's love even mentioned, and would gladly spend the majority of the day away if it meant the conversation on the topic would completely die down.

She had better things to do than listen to her colleagues make up her relationship with Sergio to be something straight out of a Jane Austen novel - focusing on real life, for example. That meant returning the necklace, going back to the cabin, being an emotionless, functional adult in presence of Sergio and ironing out the details of her promotion. That was something she would just have to manage.

At the jeweler's, the clerk behind the counter was not too cooperative.

"If you don't have a receipt-"

"I am telling you, a man named Sergio Marquina picked this up here a couple of days ago. I am sure you remember. I do not even want the money for myself, I just want it refunded it to the account he had used," Raquel told her in English.

The woman smiled apologetically. "I do remember the necklace and the man buying it, but it is our store's policy not to make any refunds without a receipt. Especially for pieces of jewelry that expensive."

"Surely it can't be that expensive-"

"It was 950 euros, ma'am."

Raquel's words died down on her tongue.

Oh wow, he had really went all in. She did not exactly know how to feel about the fact. It was company's money, but still, she felt heat rising up to her cheeks. A _nd she'd thought he'd gotten the cheapest one possible._

"Just a second," she said and ducked outside. She had just gotten an idea about one place she could call and get the information needed.

Within half a minute, someone picked up.

"Plan P Human Resources, how can I help?" asked a perky male voice.

"This is Raquel Murillo from the Madrid division. I am calling about the employee of the month program," Raquel said, squeezing the necklace into her fist. "I'd like to return the prize I got but I… have not been able to get a hold of my boss in order to access the receipt."

She'd deemed it best not to reveal that she'd rather walk in front of a train than ask Sergio for the receipt. That probably wouldn't sound too professional.

"I was wondering whether you had it up there on the computer somewhere? Since this is out of company's pocket, after all-"

The man cut her off, his voice almost aggressively cheerful. "I am sorry, señora Murillo, but the employee of the month program was discontinued years ago. The records are no longer available, and the stores are probably not accepting the medals back either."

Raquel pinched her eyes shut. Did this fellow really think she was dumb enough to try to return some plastic piece of crap medal years after the fact? This was exactly why calling HR had been her last resort.

"I know it was discontinued, but my boss decided to start it up again," she said with utmost patience forced into her voice. "I am sure you will be able to find proof of the transaction somewhere, if only to get back those 950 euros my boss spent."

It was silent on other end of the line. Raquel wondered if she needed to give him more information.

"It is a golden necklace bought from a jeweler's called… er… Kello ja korukamari," she said, glancing at the plague and trying her best at pronouncing the foreign words. "From the town of Kittilä. The clerk wouldn't give me the purchase number but I think-"

"Señora Murillo, every transaction your manager makes with his company credit card is carefully recorded, and I am not seeing anything here. If he has bought you a 1 000 euro necklace, it must have been with his own money. Which is something we should probably discuss."

Raquel heard the man click his ballpoint pen open. He then asked her a question or two, but Raquel could not decipher a single word. All she could focus on was the loud buzzing sound that had taken over her head.

No, that couldn't be right.

There was no way he would have used his own money for a necklace for _her_.

"Are- are you sure?" she croaked out, interrupting the HR guy in the middle of his flood of questions.

"Yes, there is nothing here, and he would have had to contact his supervisor in order to even clear a purchase this large," he answered.

Once again, Raquel tuned out his voice when her own thoughts got too loud for her to hear anything else. This just didn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he have used company money for her prize? Even if the program was discontinued, he could have surely convinced his boss to spare some money into an acknowledgement of her efforts. 

That is, if the prize had been just a medal or a cheap piece of jewelry. Not _this_.

She looked at the necklace in her hand. Sergio had made the conscious decision to give her something this fine and expensive. But _why_?

For some reason, the only thing she could imagine was Sergio slowly drawing the chain over her neck and whispering " _Because I wanted you to have it"_ into her ear.

Instantly, she flushed beet red.

"Señora Murillo, are you still there?" said a voice from her phone.

"Oh, yeah," Raquel said, snapping herself out of her trance."What were you talking about again?"

"I am looking at your boss' HR file right now. There is something else related to you here I would like to talk about."

She pinched her eyes shut. She really hoped this wasn't what she thought it was.

"This is what the file says about the dismissal of one employee from your team…" the man began.

Alright, this definitely wasn't what she thought it was. In fact, she had no idea how she had anything to do with someone getting fired.

"Your supervisor Sergio Marquina fired someone a year ago, citing 'degrading language toward a fellow employee' as the reason.  
In the notes here it reads that the employee was you."

"Wait, who are we talking about?" Raquel asked, confused. 

"A man called Ángel Rubio."

Raquel blinked.

"In regards to this necklace and the dismissal of Rubio, can you say whether-" 

"No, you have got it wrong. Ángel never said a bad word about me," Raquel rushed to explain.

"It says here that Rubio had a habit of talking in code about the female employees of the workplace. He had assigned each one of them a different food and often talked about grocery shopping in order to discuss them without their knowing. Your boss is quoted here as having said that it was "a disgusting pattern of behavior he engaged in order to bond with his male coworkers." He seems to have issued multiple warnings about this to him."

Raquel knotted her brow. "Is that why he got fired?"

Sure, it was disgusting and primitive, but she doubted Sergio's first instinct was to explode like the way he had after hearing Ángel call someone a lettuce. 

"No, not because of that alone. It seems that they key incident was when he modified the nickname he had given you.  
I am sorry if this upsets you, but it seems that he used the word 'bottle of milk' when referring to you."

"Modified?" Raquel asked with a small voice, a realization dawning on her.

There was a moment of silence as the man read on. Then he finally spoke up, his voice now uncertain.

"I must apologize. This seems to be a sensitive subject and I am not sure if you want to hea-"

"Yes I do. Go on," she said firmly.

After a moment of consideration, he continued: "During the period of your… ex husband's trial, Rubio tried to engage Marquina in a break room discussion. The subject was you. Rubio seemed keen on knowing what exactly Marquina thought about you, and was quite insistent on questioning him. When he did not answer Rubio's question whether he was interested in you or not, Rubio was quoted as having joked "Perhaps if the milk bottle wasn't so dented."

There was a pause as the man cleared his throat.

"This seems to be in refence of… what you are a survivor of. It says here Rubio was fired on the spot."

Raquel thought back to that day, and the look on Sergio's face as he forced Ángel to pack up his things. She had never seen him like that. She had never seen him that furious with anyone, not even her. For a moment she had even thought he would do something worse to Ángel than fire him.

But it couldn't be. It couldn't be because of her.

"No, that cannot be the reason," Raquel protested. "Sure, that joke was in extremely poor taste, but there has to be another reason for firing him. Something big, something that would warrant my boss to react like that."

"I don't know what to tell you. This incident is cited as the exact reason," the man answered.

Raquel couldn't breathe. Her mind was too frantic to take the time to make sure oxygen was being supplied into her lungs. 

"I am sorry for having to ask you this, señora Murillo, but could it be possible that your boss has feelings for you?"

"No," Raquel said quickly, her answer coming out in one rush of a breath. "No, absolutely not."

No, it definitely wasn't true.

Any boss would have fired Ángel for that, she tried to convince herself. Any boss would have made it effective on the spot. Any boss could have gotten just as angry and made personally sure that the offender was out of the building as fast as possible.

Right?

But the HR representative persisted. "When exactly did your boss give you the necklace? 

_Shit_ Raquel realized. She had just spent half an hour blabbering to HR and had probably gotten Sergio in hell of a trouble despite the fact that he had not even done anything damning.

…Outside of firing Ángel for her and giving her the necklace. And that kiss.

She lifted her hand to her mouth, her heart starting to beat rapidly. _Oh god, what if…_

No, no, no. It did not mean anything. She had to focus and untangle this mess.

"Let me think," she said carefully, trying to buy time. She was desperately fumbling with the necklace in her hand. That ended up giving her an idea.

"Oh what? What is happening?" she said, forcing amazement into her voice. "It is coming off!"

"What is coming off?" asked the man, bewildered.

"The gold wrapping. My necklace! It is chocolate!" she exclaimed, scratching her nails against the sleeve her jacket in order to create the sound of rustling. 

She then feigned delighted laughter. "Oh my god, my boss gave me a chocolate necklace and tried to pass it off as an expensive golden necklace. That jokester!"

Before the man could get a word in, Raquel continued.

"What a fun, morale-boosting prank. Sorry, I must go, I have to think of what to do to retaliate!"

"Oh alright," the HR rep said, unsure. "But you need to advise your boss not to give such presents even as a joke-"

She had already hung up before he could finish the sentence.

She quickly shoved the phone in her pocket, the surface of it burning her fingertips. She ended up quickly shuffling to her car before her distressed features garnered some concerned looks from passers-by. There she slid down to her seat, the necklace still clutched in her hand. Although now there was the danger of people spotting her hyperventilating in the car and being alarmed. She better calm herself down before anyone would feel the temptation to the break the glass like she was a dog who had been left inside a hot car without water.

 _This does not necessarily mean anything_ , she repeated once again to herself. 

The only problem was that it all sure as hell seemed like it meant _something_.

But it was Sergio. He hated her. That was a fact of life, as resolute as the law of gravity or the changing of the tides.

Who knows, perhaps he had hated her long enough to grow fond of her. Perhaps it was "no one is allowed to be mean to her but me" kind of a situation. That could explain Ángel.

But it did not explain the necklace. Or him bumping her up to first class after catching her crying. Or rushing to her when he thought she was injured. Or leaving her a note that she deserved to feel beautiful. It did not did not even explain something as small as him helping her with her luggage.

Maybe all these acts of kindness just rounded him up as a person. Nothing you felt toward another person was completely black and white. He might hate her only 50% of the time, lust after her for the 0.05%, and the rest of the time he… well, had a heart.

Though he was oddly reluctant to show it. He was only nice to her in secret. Or when he was drunk.

And he was not even completely nice then. He would confess to her that there was someone he loved but refuse to tell anything else about the matter.

"Why can't you just tell her?

"It would be a very bad thing for us both if the truth came out… I don't want to hurt her. I love her."

_"Who is she?"_

_"It doesn't matter."_

_"But it does! If you want me to help you, I need to know who she is."_

_"I can't tell you."_

_"Why not?"_

_"I just told you…"_

Her insides froze as she reconsidered that conversation.

_I just told you._

Oh.

_Oh._

She stared into her frost-covered windshield, her eyes glazed over. For a moment, her head was completely empty except for one thought. Image, rather.

The way Sergio alway looked at her. With an inexplicable, soft quality hidden in the depth of his brown eyes.

Right at this second, she also remembered who Erik, the man Andrés had mentioned, was. She turned on the ignition. 

She drove and drove and drove, faster than was probably allowed on these snowy roads. But she did not care. All that mattered was getting to the place she had in mind as fast as possible.

The second she was there, she leaped up from the car, almost leaving the door hanging open. She rushed inside the pub.

"Erik!" she called out as she shot through the doors.

The man behind the counter turned to look at her with a confounded expression.

"Where are the suggestions for the name of the drink contest?" she exhaled while jogging to him. She could see the few customers the pub had staring at her, but their attention was the furthest concern in her mind.

"Sorry lady, I have not made my decision yet. But I am sure that by Friday-"

"No, I just want to see the slips of papers. Please, let me see them."

The man knotted his brow, but after a moment of deliberation, he lifted a box from behind the counter into her view.

"I mean, I don't see why not-" he began, but Raquel snatched the box from his hands before he could finish.

She quickly shuffled through the papers. There were not many of them, but it still seemed to take forever to find what she was looking for. 

There was hers. _Sonrisa_. The word she considered the most beautiful of them all. Her favorite.

She discarded it. It was not what she wanted.

Finally, there was only one piece of paper left. She paused, drew in a deep breath and then slowly, carefully, turned it over.

There it read, in Sergio's familiar handwriting.

 _Raquel_.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first part of a section that majorly differs from the rest of the story. This was originally supposed to be only one chapter, but because of its storyline, it ended up so long I had to split into two. This will probably increase the total amount of chapters in this fic by one. 
> 
> Trigger warning for those who might need it: there are allusions to domestic violence in this chapter.

_8 years ago_

"Have you checked out the new girl?"

Sergio took a painstaking amount of time lifting his eyes from his computer where the crucial report he was working on still desperately needed some tweaking. His brother answered his gaze innocently, as if he was blissfully ignorant about all the times Sergio had told him not to come sit in his office to distract him every five seconds.

He forced his voice to be as dry as possible to make his brother get the hint.

"I have read her file. Also, she is a grown woman. We do not employ child labor." 

Andrés rolled his eyes at the answer.

"Checking her out is not the same as reading what kind of spreadsheets she can make. Have you actually looked her in the eye today? Determined for yourself that she is, indeed, a _woman_?"

The emphasis he placed on the last word could mean either of two things; Andrés had been instantly bewitched by her and was planning to make her his ex-wife number 6, or this was one of these instances where he was trying his hardest to throw a woman, any woman in Sergio's way and hope he would show even a semblance of interest. It was a brotherly duty he, frustratingly enough, never seemed to want to give up. Either way, Sergio was not going to rise to the bait.

"Please do not propose to her. If you propose to my new employee, I am finally going to fire you. So don't do it," he muttered, shifting his gaze back to the computer screen. "Do I have to remind you of my no personal relationships policy?"

Andrés let out a scoff. 

"It is going fine with me and Tatiana. All I am saying is that _you_ should take a look. Just a look could not possibly violate your silly little policy."

"I am sure I will see her eventually when I am having my entrance interview with her," Sergio said, tapping away at his keyboard. His brother sighed. 

"You know, your lack of curiosity will ensure your life will be the most boring one ever lived. I weep for you."

Something smile-like crossed Sergio's face, but did not consume it wholly. 

"I would not have it any other way."

* * *

As always, Sergio went down to the cafeteria to have his lunch instead of staying in the break room with his subordinates. Sure, the food there was more expensive than a home-packed meal, but Sergio preferred the peace and quiet the place gave him. He always went at a time when it was the least crowded and picked the most isolated table in the corner where he could get some work done without anyone disturbing him.

He sometimes got instructions from the corporate to spend more time with the team he was supervising in order to build up morale. Then again, the corporate also wanted him to keep everything running smoothly and hike up the profits. To do that, he would have to continue doing what he had been doing the decade already spent working here - keep his distance and focus on work.

He downed his last cup of coffee, picked up his paperwork and started wandering toward the elevators while leafing through it. He had a feeling he was missing something and had to check everything extra carefully. There was no way he would ever advance in his career if he let even a tiny mistake slip past him.

His eyes glued to the forms, he fumbled for the elevator button and managed to press it. He only lifted his gaze when he heard the familiar 'ping' of the elevator doors opening.

And just like that, everything changed.

Instead of being faced with his own tired reflection from the mirrored elevator wall, he saw another person. A beautiful, brown-haired woman deep in thought, looking down at her notepad while chewing her pen.

This sight of her was so extraordinarily striking that his world came to a screeching halt. He froze, unable to do little else than to study the way her dark lashes fluttered gently in a fan as she read over her writing and the way her red lips parted to form words that were not audible to him.

But these delicate details that made something warm billow in his chest were nothing compared to what he felt when she at last, lifted her gaze and her brown eyes met his for the first time. 

The pounding of his heart slowed down along with the flow of time as they gazed at each other.

She seemed to stiffen as well, something strange and powerful taking a hold of them both. They could only look at each other, something exquisite but fervent making his blood rush in his veins. Sergio felt the sudden, burning urge to somehow force the earth to stop turning on its axis just so that he could stay in this moment with her for a little while longer.

But then the world around him started moving again. This time, it rotated in reverse with a maddening speed. He did not have time to even react before the elevator doors started mercilessly closing after no one had stepped in.

Before she was forever lost to him, however, she quickly shoved her notepad between the doors, causing them to jerk open again.

"Whoops, I got a little lost in thought there," she said as her way of apologizing for not reacting sooner to let him in.

"That is alright," Sergio answered, breathlessly. He had gotten a little lost in thought as well for a reason he could not understand. 

_What had just happened?_

She smiled a little at him and stepped aside to give him more space. Sergio did settle as far from her as he could, feeling inexplicably wary of her proximity. he could possibly get stuck in a single moment of time once again if stood even an inch closer to her, and the notion of that was off-putting enough to keep her at an arm's length.

 _The paperwork_ , he reminded himself and turned to look at his forms.

But it was hard to focus on anything with her in the elevator with him. She took up so much space even though she was a small woman. The air he breathed was saturated with her, and every small noise she made caused his heart to jump. He could also sense her glancing at him every once in a while, but he couldn't be sure. He tried to keep his gaze firmly fixed on his papers.

His already feeble concentration was broken when she suddenly underlined something on her notepad, causing a loud, scratching noise to fill the elevator.

She looked up and saw him looking at her, startled. She smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, just preparing for something and my nerves are starting to get the better of me."

Sergio couldn't help but glance at what she'd underlined. It was the word 'dependable' with three fat strokes underneath it. 

"This is my first day. Hopefully. I could still be showed the door, it all depends on this interview." 

As if having anticipated his confusion, she quickly added: "My new boss insists on something called an entrance interview."

She shook her head, irritated. "Entrance interview... who even does that?"

Sergio was starting to get a feeling he knew who this woman was. 

"A very careful person who wants to make sure the new hire fits will into the team," he answered noncommittally, wondering why he felt so strangely uneasy that just _she_ was going to be his new employee. 

"Ah, I know the type. An office despot, I would describe him. He probably just wants to make sure I dance nicely to his tune," the woman muttered. "I was already afraid he was going to be a "per my last e-mail" type of a person, and then my new coworkers just aggravated my fears by calling him a stick in the mud. He is going to be such a pain in the ass, isn't he?"

When Sergio did not answer, she turned to him with a small sigh.

"I am sorry. Here I am, just rambling away about my anxieties to a complete stranger."

"It's okay," Sergio lied, feeling a little irked.

"But we don't have to be strangers, do we?" she said and offered him her hand. "I am Raquel."

 _A beautiful name_ , he found himself thinking. He had not really paid attention to her first name while reading her file, but now hearing it from her lips, he found it had the most pleasant sound.

But before he could introduce himself to her in turn and break her illusion about who exactly she was talking to. The elevator doors dinged open.

"This is me," she said and stepped out. Then at the last second, she turned to glance at him as if hesitant to leave. "What floor do you work in?"

Sergio answered by stepping out right after her. In reaction, Raquel smiled brighter than the sun. His heart jumped a little at this, but he was determined to ignore it.

"Looks like we are going to be working together," she said as they walked to the office together. "Where is your desk-"

Instead of setting his papers on any desk in the office space, however, he made a beeline straight to his office.

"I will see you in half an hour for your entrance exam, señora Murillo," he uttered simply before closing the door behind him.

Through the blinds, he could see the woman stare after him with her face pale and eyes as wide as saucers.

* * *

After half an hour, Raquel entered his office carefully, as if even the slightest of disturbances would set him off. Sergio stopped working and turned to look at her.

Her face pinched and she was nervously wringing her hands.

"I have three very good reasons why you should not immediately fire me," she immediately began, not giving him a chance to even greet her.

As much as he would love to start off the entrance interview properly and in his usual no nonsense manner, he felt inclined to hear her out. He stiffly nodded, allowing her to continue.

"Number one: despite what you might think, I am actually an excellent worker. You wouldn't have hired me otherwise, and the fact that I have a big mouth actually indicates that I will say exactly what I think instead of sucking up to you. To me, you seem like a man hates nothing more than a sycophant. People like me are actually a valuable asset in the modern workplace."

Sergio fought against smiling, keeping his face a stern and emotionless mask. 

"Number two: In my defense, you do not look like the man I imagined by boss to be like." 

"What do I look like then?" he asked.

Raquel struggled to find the words to answer him. If his eyes or the lighting in his office did not lie, he could almost detect a shade of pink adorn her cheeks.

"Just… different," she finally answered, before clearing her thoughts and finishing her plea. "Number three: I am very, very sorry."

He could see from her face how much he truly meant her words. It made his stony ulterior melt a little. But only a little.

"Truthfully, señora Murillo, this interview is only a formality. I am not going to fire you after less than an hour into our working relationship. You were hired for a reason, and anything you might think about me at first glance does not really matter if you do your job well."

"Oh, alright," Raquel said, her shoulders noticeably slumping in relief.

He clicked her file open on his computer. "I think we will first go over your employment history-"

"You said what I think about does not matter, but I still would like to state my opinion now that I have actually met you," she interrupted quickly. "I think you are great."

Sergio found himself suddenly unable to look her in the eye. He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Hmm, very well then."

She nailed the subsequent interview, making Sergio's opinion of her grow. He felt simultaneously glad about the new hire and nervous. There was a suspicion at the back of his mind that Raquel Murillo might prove to be a very problematic individual for him.

"Welcome to the team, señora Murillo," he ended the interview with, and offered her his hand. She wrapped her fingers around it and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Even longer after, he could still feel his skin tingling from where she'd touched him. Strange.

* * *

Raquel turned out to be… a very distracting person. There was no other word for it.

She was not the kind of a person who kept quiet at meetings, simply counting down the time to when she could leave. No, she had an opinion about every point. They mostly supplemented his ideas, making him wonder at times whether it would be easier to just have her running the meeting alongside him. (But that wouldn't do - there was simply no such thing as a co-manager).

Also, when Sergio made his daily productivity check-up and stopped by everyone's table to see what they were doing, he could hear her humming. The noise rustled in his ears, making it impossible to focus on pointing out to Silene that aggressively responding to negative reviews of their company on Yelp was not a part of her job description. And when he finally stopped by her desk, she smiled at him. It made him actually consider enforcing some sort of a rule against extravagant facial expressions on the workplace. 

Worst of all, she actually talked to _him_. When he came to check up on her work or when they ended up in the same space together, she chattered and chattered, asking about his day and going over the projects they were working on. Even his brother knew to try to engage Sergio in a conversation only occasionally, and the rest of his subordinates had long since stopped bothering after all the one-worded answers and long silences. But Raquel did not seem stymied by them. On the contrary, she only tried harder the more reluctant Sergio seemed. In the end, he locked himself up in his office and only left when the coast was clear. 

Others seemed to find her just as distracting, though, probably in a more positive sense. Everyone made quick friends with her, and often abandoned their work stations to go and talk to her. Sergio would have gone and reprimanded them for wasting company time, were he not determined to stay in his office until Raquel went to the bathroom and he was free to go down to the cafeteria for lunch without her following and trying to join him.

For a reason he could not understand, just the thought of being alone with her made him nervous.

The worst offender was probably Ángel who found an excuse to go and talk to her twice an hour. He seemed very interested in the ring in Raquel's hand, and if Sergio happened to look at the two through his blinds, it was more probably the man was looking at it than her eyes.

He himself was also aware of the ring, but for him it was a source of relief. It created even thicker, nicer barrier between him and her than their boss-subordinate relationship already did. He was very comfortable with those walls around him. He simply needed to solidify them a bit more so that bits would not crumble away every time her brown eyes flickered to him.

Despite infuriating him more often than not, he had to admit she was an enchanting creature. It was better for him to fight the temptation to befriend her and keep his distance, however. Anything else would interfere with his work and the comfortable little life he had carved for himself.

He managed to cut down the time he was with her to the few minutes he spent by her desk each day. Actually, it was less than a minute. He simply laid a cursory look on the work she was doing (which was always excellent) and told her 'good job' before leaving. This resulted in her smile often turning into a frown and her eyes staying fixed on his back as he walked back to his office. He was not sure why. He himself would have been only glad that his boss was not keeping him from his work.

Another peculiar thing about Raquel Murillo was the fact that the second the clock struck 5, she was up from her desk no matter how immersed she seemed to have been in her work just moments ago. She also refused any offers of overtime on a consistent basis. It was odd, though Sergio supposed it was in her right. Perhaps she simply wanted to spend as much time with her husband as possible.

One time, she was in such great of a rush to get out of the office after doing ten minutes of overtime that she ended up accidentally grabbing Sergio's jacket that was virtually identical to hers, except for being twice as big. She only realized her mistake once she found herself swallowed up by the garment like a doll that someone had mistakenly dressed in human-sized clothing.

That was when Sergio had faltered. Despite weeks and weeks spent cultivating his hard exterior, something akin to a smile managed to crack through the barrier.

He could see Raquel take note of it. Her eyes glimmered in mirth as she handed his jacket back and put on her own.

He'd thought that nothing more could come out of it than this brief lapse of judgment, but he'd been wrong.

The next day, Raquel grabbed his jacket once again, but this time, the action seemed to be deliberate. She looked at him as she wrapped it around him before turning around and walking to the elevators. Bewildered, Sergio snatched her jacket and followed after her.

He approached her as she waited for the elevator with an unreadable expression on her face.

"You- you took the wrong jacket," he managed to say, but Raquel did not react to the garment he tried to hand to her.

"So it looks like. Let's switch them downstairs, it is easier that way than in the elevator" she said with a smile just as the elevator doors opened. 

Sergio stared at her helplessly for a moment before realizing he had no other choice but to follow her to the elevator. He had not shared one with her since the day he'd first met her and for a good reason. The elevator was too small for him to think properly with Raquel in it and it was inevitable that his mind would fill with her and her only.

Raquel broke the silence the second they were alone.

"How come you never say more than two words to me?" she asked.

Sergio turned to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"It is always 'good job' and nothing more. It makes me feel very unremarkable, especially since you have always something to say to the others. Or perhaps you think I am doing a poor job and your uncommunicativeness is your way to convey that."

Sergio blinked. It had not even crossed his mind Raquel might think that.

"But you are doing a good job," he said honestly. 

Raquel cast a confused glance at him. The look pained him a little. He did not want her to think she was unappreciated.

"I linger with the others because there is always something to point out. Not with you."

"Oh," she said with a small voice.

Just then, the elevator doors opened. They stepped out together, and Raquel flashed him an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry for stealing your jacket. I figured it was the only way I would manage to get you to hang around me long enough to talk."

She took the jacket off and handed it over while Sergio pondered how to feel about the fact that she had taken his jacket as a hostage.

"So the less you say to me, the better work I am doing. I will keep that in mind," she said, tugging on her own jacket with a grin. Sergio did not answer this, but did turn to speak to her one more time before she stepped out of the doors. 

"Goodbye, señora Murillo."

She looked pleased, as if this was better than she would have expected. It probably was. He had not said goodbye personally to any other employee before.

Somehow, Raquel felt like a natural exception.

* * *

Their relationship evolved into an interesting direction after that. Raquel grew even more involved in meetings, their dialogue sometimes turning into a heated debate while the rest of his subordinates just watched. She also began pretending she was not doing work at all whenever he came to check up on her, having anything from mine sweeper to a google search on how to do corporate espionage open. She was clearly teasing him in order to get him to say something, but he always ignored whatever bait she had laid before his eyes and asked her to show him what she was actually working on. When she eventually did just so, he simply smiled at her with his eyes and said "Good work". She smiled back at him, something in her expression telling him that she was nowhere close to giving up.

She also began stealing his jacket with an increasing frequency, usually on days she wanted to talk about something. So Sergio obediently followed her to the elevators and they talked until they were at the front doors and Raquel finally relinquished his jacket.

"Goodbye, señora Murillo," he would always say at the end of it. 

"Please, call me Raquel. And haven't I told you it is okay to use _tu_?" she would often respond with.

"Maybe next time, I will remember," he answered.

He never did call her Raquel, but his señora Murillo grew fonder and fonder each time he used it. Raquel was simply too beautiful of a name. It would be hard to hide the warmth in his voice if he pronounced it, and a part of him did not want her to know just how much he enjoyed seeing her off to the front doors and saying goodbye to her. 

She would think him a silly and lonely man if she knew.

But as the weather got warmer, the need for outer garments steadily decreased. In the end, it was so hot that even thinking about putting a jacket on became unbearable.

The first time he arrived into work without one that summer, she looked visibly disappointed. Yes, it couldn't have been anything other than disappointment crossing her face in that moment which made him feel oddly light inside. 

That same afternoon, he bought himself a hat, and the day after that, he came with it to work and hung it up on their shared coat rack.

Just as he had hoped, at the end of the work day, Raquel hurried to the rack before he could and shamelessly put the hat on her own head.

The repeated occurrence of this caused endless amusement on his brother's part. 

"Let me get this straight," Andrés said one day after storming into his office.

"Not only did you get yourself a hat that makes you look like scrawny Al Capone, you specifically bought it just so she could steal it," he claimed, his face beaming with amusement.

"I bought it because it was stylish," Sergio grunted, not lifting his eyes from his meeting notes. "And on sale," he added.

Andrés grinned.

"You don't need to convince me of anything. This is actually the most I have ever liked you, hermanito."

Sergio pushed him away before he could smack a prideful kiss on his forehead.

* * *

Their little routine went on for the longest time, and the weather started growing cold again. One time when frost had covered the steps to the entrance and made them slippery, Sergio helped her descend them instead of leaving her by the front doors.

Her husband was waiting for her down on the street in his car. When Sergio lifted his gaze to look at him, he gave him a rather nasty glare in return. 

He did not seem a very pleasant man. His features were harsh and sunken, as if his face was born for scowling. Sergio did not let his hostility to bother him, he very rarely cared whether someone disliked him, and lifted his hand in a greeting. He did not answer.

He said goodbye to Raquel and watched him disappear into her husband's car. Something made him stare after them as he drove away with her. Only later he'd realized he'd felt the urge to watch over her. He was not sure why though.

After this incident, Raquel's spirits seemed to lower at work despite the fact that her husband started sending her an enormous bouquet of flowers almost daily. It made it even difficult to go and talk to her because the flowers surrounded her desk like a wall. But she seemed hardly cheered up by them and simply looked at every new present wearily.

One night, despite having never done so before, Raquel stayed behind to work late. Sergio did not ask any questions, but he had feeling she was not keen on going home that night.

The only trouble with her decision was the fact that the heating of the office space would be turned off for the night. It would get chilly, especially during this cold of a November.

So he did the only thing he could possibly do and wrapped his jacket tenderly around her shoulders as she stared at her computer screen.

Raquel started and turned her head.

"What are you doing?"

"Just helping you out with your thievery," he said, attempting to insert some humor in his voice and failing. He only sounded like his usual stiff self, making Raquel probably think he was just chastising her for always taking his jacket. 

He sighed inwardly and was just about to lift his hands from her jacket when she suddenly looked up at him, beaming, and covered his hand on her shoulder with hers. 

"Thank you," she whispered.

Her hand lingered on his for a moment longer than it should, and yet too short a while. Their eyes remained fixed on each other even after she eventually withdrew her hand quickly, realizing how long their fingers had been touching. Sergio was filled with strange thoughts, most troubling of which was the urge to entwine their fingers properly and just stay there, holding her hand.

"Aren't you going to need your jacket to walk back to your car?" she then asked.

"No," he lied. 

She looked at him suspiciously but did not interrogate him further, letting him leave.

"Goodbye, señora Murillo," he turned to say just before leaving.

"Goodbye, Sergio," she answered back with an impossible amount of affection in her voice.

The air outside was unusually frosty and the way to his parking spot long, but he could hardly feel a thing. He was kept warm by the way Raquel had said his name.

* * *

The next day, she called in sick.

It was hard to concentrate on anything after that. He ended up signing some contracts with her name instead of his and had to spend fifteen minutes making new copies. Instead of working on his lunch break as he usually did, he just ended up staring into the distance, lost in thought. He only took two bites of his sandwich before throwing it away.

When half of the day had passed without him getting any work done, he realized he might have to come into terms with the fact that he was worried about her. It was a strange thing, he had never before batted even an eyelash when one of his subordinates had called in sick because of vague flu symptoms. Most of the time they were faking, but he was not bothered by it. As long as they got their work done, he did not mind them taking a personal day every now and then. He would not investigate.

But today, he felt the need to do that. He did not know what cause for concern he had, but something told him that this was not simply a flu.

Before he'd even realized what he was doing, he'd ended up dialing her number.

Raquel picked up on the second ring.

"Hello, Sergio. Is this your obligatory 'let's see if you are really sick' call? Or perhaps you are inquiring after the jacket. No worries, I have not thrown it into an incarcerator. Yet."

There was some mirth in her voice, but it felt forced. As if she was pretending things were better than they actually were. 

"I am just calling to see if you are okay," he said with a low voice.

It was silent for a long time on the other end of the line. It almost sounded like she was holding her breath, surprised at the words that had left Sergio's mouth.

"I… it's just that…," she began.

Sergio interjected. "You don't have to justify anything. I just want to know if you are okay."

It took a moment before she answered again. It was probably odd, having her boss give her such a personal call. But their relationship was odd anyway. It was a strange mixture of quiet cognizance and affection that he did not want to examine too closely in case it would make the whole thing unravel.

"I am alright," she finally said.

The three words were tender and comforting. He did not completely believe her, but he did not want to press. He already felt like he had crossed a line of sorts by calling her like this.

"It is good to hear your voice," she breathed out after a pause.

"Yours too."

This exchange was probably the most intimate they had ever had. There was the acknowledgement that one was capable of making the other feel better, and the recognition that something had formed between them that was more profound than a typical bond between a boss and a employee. Sergio did not know what to think about it.

Still, it was hard not to feel like when they were saying 'it is good to hear your voice', they were saying something completely else to each other.

* * *

Raquel came back to work the next Monday, looking tired but as radiant as ever. Sergio could almost sense when she entered the office because everything got somehow brighter. He felt something compelling drawing him out of his office just to see her properly, not just through the blinds of his office. By midday, he finally succumbed and stepped out. 

There she was at her desk, a pen stuck through a bun in her hair as always when she was in focus mode. The sight made him feel weak in a manner he could not describe. He ended up leaning against the doorframe, just gazing at her.

She soon sensed his eyes on her and looked up from her work. Her lips then curved into a joyful smile. _Hey you_ , it seemed to say. 

The smile was a special one, He had never seen her smile like that to anyone else and desperately wished this knowledge did not make him want to shut himself in his office to do a little dance quite so bad.

That would be inappropriate, just as gazing at her like this was. His wrenched his eyes off her and let them slide to Ángel who was sitting near her. He was glaring at him.

The fact that Ángel was starting to view him as a threat was a development he was less than happy about.

Sergio quickly retreated into his office and drew his blinds so he could concentrate in peace without anyone seeing him. But once he was back sitting on his chair and the figures on his computer screen were swimming in his field of view, he realized how futile the whole pursuit was. 

Concentration. What a ridiculous thing to attempt it had become recently. With _her_ sitting less than ten meters from his office, how could he think about anything else?

It was all very troubling: the fact that she was the last person he thought about before falling asleep, the fact that the whiff of her perfume that stuck to his jacket every time she wore it was becoming his favorite scent in the world, and most damningly, the fact that he had googled the name of her husband more than once over the weekend to see what kind of a man he was.

He was almost certain that the shadow that sometimes submerged her features was caused by that man. The problem was that her happiness in her marriage should be the least of his day-to-day concerns. He should not care as long as Raquel was able to do her job well. 

But he cared. He cared so much.

His heart burned when she was near. It was starting to dawn on him that there was no other explanation for it than the most terrifying one.

Nearly 35 years. He had managed to go through life nearly 35 years without ever letting his heart's wishes distract him.

Of course it had to happen when he was on the fast track to becoming the CFO of this company someday. Of course it had to be his subordinate. His _married_ _subordinate_.

His witty, beautiful and utterly enchanting married subordinate.

He proceeded to use the next 5 minutes thumping his head repeatedly against his computer screen in vain hope it would knock some sense into him.

However, the only thing he succeeded in by doing this was embarrassing himself when his door opened and none other than Raquel stepped in.

"Everything alright?" she asked, puzzled.

Sergio yanked his head up. "Oh, yeah." He nudged his glasses up his nose nervously. "Just taking a little productive deliberation pause."

"I see," Raquel said, a small smile in her voice. "Just here to drop off those reports you asked for."

"Ah. Thank you, señora Murillo," he said and took the papers from her hand, careful not to brush his fingers against hers. He knew nothing good could come out of even the briefest of touches from her.

"Raquel," she corrected as always with some fondness. She turned to leave, and Sergio was embarrassed to admit that he ended up staring at the door she had disappeared though far longer than was considered professional.

He swept his fingers through his hair with a small sigh and tried his hardest to focus on the text in front of him. 

Raquel had filled out the report meticulously as expected. His eyes drifted down to the section where she had to write her signature, the date and the name of her supervisor down. He would add his signature below that last line. He had started demanding such a handwritten section to be added after he had caught Silene sending her mistake-riddled reports straight to the corporate, and claiming that they had been Andrés' after she had been reprimanded.

Something in those scribbles made him pause, however, despite everything seemingly being in order.

He brought the paper closer to his eyes, squinting.

Could it be?

No, his eyes had to be playing tricks on him.

There was no way those were actually little hearts instead of dots above the i's in his name.

He looked at the way she had written down his name so long that his eyes became strained. He had to put down the paper before he went mad.

Perhaps he was already mad, thinking that something that could be just a misshapen ink smudge was be a heart. 

Though, there had been two of them…

He resisted the urge to crumple the paper in his hands just so that he would not have to look at it anymore. Instead, he rose from his desk and went to look through the window. 

Even if those hearts did mean something, and his feelings were reciprocated, he still did not stand a chance, he firmly asserted to himself while staring down at the people walking down the street, blissfully ignorant of the existence of Raquel Murillo.

He couldn't just one day while seeing her off to the front doors ask her to leave her husband for him. _Him_ , the man who had no real experience in long-term romantic relationships and whose only method of impressing women was putting together a nice-looking powerpoint presentation or folding an origami crane in less than 30 seconds. 

He had nothing to offer her. The only way forward was to keep pushing down his feelings until one day he would be able to look at her without anguish.

* * *

He was not sure why, for the first time in his working life, he decided to attend the company Christmas party.

Perhaps it was some weird form of masochism. He would have to endure the whole night of his employees staring at him like an exotic animal as he stood awkwardly in the corner with a cake plate in his hands. It was either that or his brother taking it as his life's mission to get him hammered. 

He wasn't about to do that, however. His boss Prieto was going to drop by at some point and he needed to present himself as the pinnacle of professionalism even at a company party. That would always count positively toward his worth in the eyes of the corporate.

Prieto's approval was as good of an incentive to come here as any. He had certainly not been motivated by anything else, especially not the 'I hope you are coming' that had left Raquel's lips earlier that day.

But she was not here yet and Sergio was already miserable. He couldn't feel more out of place. He was still wearing his work clothes, for god's sake, and he did not recognize a single song from the music selection.

He had just decided getting some alcohol into his system wasn't such a bad idea after all and grabbed a beer when Raquel stepped out of the doors, her eyes full of astonishment at the beautiful decorations.

She was wearing a red cocktail dress, her lips wearing a matching color. The sight of her in it with the Christmas lights illuminating was breathtaking. Sergio's throat ran dry.

But then her husband followed right after her and wound his arm around her waist, looking sourly around him. 

Just then, Sergio decided that coming to this party was perhaps the worst decision he had ever made. 

This feeling was only intensified as Raquel caught the sight of him and waved. Alberto give him one, surly look and seemingly refused to budge as Raquel tried to get him to move toward Sergio, perhaps to introduce the two.

Sergio decided to make her life easier and walked away. He ducked inside his office with the bottle of beer and the plate of cake still in his hands.

He might as well get some work done if he was here. He wasn't about to spend an evening watching Raquel with her husband. There were more preferable options to that, such as swallowing a liter of nails.

So as the music roared and the laughter of his employee rang out, he stayed in his office, exchanging emails in the cold light of his computer. It was never easier to get a hold of the other branch managers because it was still daytime in most offices he needed to contact. He supposed he should be happy he managed to turn this time into something productive, but it felt everything but.

Eventually, the party started winding down, judging by the diminishing amount of ruckus coming from outside. He briefly worried whether he had completely missed Prieto, but then came to the conclusion that the man was probably just satisfied to see him use this frivolous occasion to work.

 _You are a gift to the company,_ he always said when Sergio made a sacrifice such as this.

Then, just as he was deep in these thoughts, the door creaked open. 

"Has anyone told you how utterly adorable you look when you knot your brow like that?" asked a familiar voice.

He jerked his head up, startled, and saw Raquel. She was standing in the doorway with his long coat on, wearing a teasing smirk.

 _What was she doing here?_  
  
"I accidentally took your jacket and almost walked out of the door with it on. Such shame there was no one there to point my mistake out to me," she said with a mock sigh, slowly drawing the jacket off her shoulders like it was a shame to part from it.

"Sorry I was not more attentive. Swamped with work," he explained, fighting a smile from spreading to his lips as Raquel folded the coat on a chair next to the door.

Raquel crossed her arms. "On the night of the Christmas party? Do you ever let your hair down?"

"I have no time for such a luxury."

She crossed the room to go and look at his computer, forcing Sergio to quickly move his mouse to get rid of the screensaver that had been on for the last ten minutes.

"What are you doing now?" she asked, looking quizzically at his email inbox.

"Just waiting for the head of the Ottawa branch to answer me."

She smiled. "That means you _do_ have a little while."

Sergio shook his head. No, he will respond in 5 minutes, tops."

"Five minutes is more than long enough to let your hair down."

To place emphasis on her words, she sank her fingers into her own hair, removing her hair tie. Her hair tumbled down on her shoulders in soft brown curls as she smiled through the veil of them. Sergio could only watch, breathless.

"I am gonna give you your full Christmas party experience in five minutes," she said, grabbing his hands and drawing him up from the chair. Sergio could only helplessly follow along.

"First we toast," she said and lifted an imaginary glass in front of her. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," he said in turn, lifting his own imaginary glass. Raquel grinned.

"Then we engage in some awkward small talk. It is an office party after all," she continued and then turned her back to him. She jammed along to the quiet music that was still streaming from outside before backing up against Sergio. 

She feigned to have been surprised by this collision and turned to look at him. He almost laughed at how ridiculous this whole scene looked.

"Hello, señor Marquina," she greeted as this was her first time seeing him tonight.

"Hello, señora Murillo," Sergio said, playing along. "How are you?"

"Fine, just fine. And how are you?"

"Very well. What a nice party we are having."

"Indeed."

There was pause, and they stared at each other, more joyful than they probably would be if this was an actual awkward conversation.

"Always default to the weather next," she advised. "When do you think it will snow in Madrid, never or never?"

Sergio inwardly smiled.

"Let's give it a 10 years, see what happens."

Raquel let out a doubtful little noise, smirking. She then gave him the thumbs-up as the sign of a successful awkward coworker interaction.

Next, she walked over to his desk and looked at his cake plate.

"Then, we will find our way to the free food and nibble at it for the lack of anything better to do. Alcohol is crucial in this part too."

She swept her finger over the frosting and stuck the sweet treat she managed to gather into her mouth. Sergio watched, the warmth that had lit up inside him the second she had walked through the door steadily growing something that more so resembled a scorching blaze.

She then seized the bottle of the beer Sergio had set down on his table. She took a small gulp, and the sight of her lips touching the brim his lips had touched moments before made him feel electric inside.

"Now you," she said, and offered him the bottle. Sergio lifted it to his mouth and drank right at the spot that was stained by her lipstick. Raquel noticed this and looked at him for a second, her eyes dark and wide. He answered her gaze intently, something dangerous taking a hold of him.

The silence lasted for a moment before Raquel woke up from her trance and proceeded with the next step of their mini party.

"And then when we are pleasantly tipsy," she began, slowly approaching him. "We will find our way back, suddenly more than glad to be with each other. And with the music playing, what happens next is only natural."

Sergio looked at her confused. Her mouth slid into a tender smile. She then showed him what she meant, taking his hand and moving it slowly to rest on the small of her back. 

Sergio's heart stopped beating.

His other hand she entwined with hers, and when they were in the correct position, she began to gently sway to the music.

"I do not think-" he began to protest, but Raquel cut him off by hushing him.

"It is a party. Let us do what they do at parties," she said and continued slowly moving with him.

Sergio could count with only one hand how many times he had ever danced with someone, and the last time had been years ago. Luckily, this seemed to be something a man as unskilled as he could do and required nothing more than being quiet and gentle.

But even that was a hardship, because it was _her_. He was closer to her than ever before, and the sheer knowledge of that was petrifying, not to mention the sweet pressure of her hand on his shoulder, or the sensation of the soft fabric of her dress against his palm. It could have all been easily able to completely overpower him, but for her sake - in order to give her this dance she might not have gotten earlier tonight, he held himself still and kept his touch featherlight.

They swayed together for a long time, long enough for Sergio to almost forget how they had ended up here. But the voice reminding that this was just a fragile little moment held together by half-pretense stayed stubbornly on the back of his mind.

Raquel was only doing this because she felt bad he had worked all night. There was nothing more to it, and he should be happy about the mere fact that she had wanted to do this for him in the first place.

He was happy, but it more had to do with the fact that he simply got to be with her.

"Is there a final step?" he found himself asking as he heard the music from outside fade.

Raquel considered her answer for a moment.

"Yes," she finally whispered. "We stay like this and hope tomorrow never comes."

After these words were out, she closed her eyes and only clung tighter to him. The small action knocked the breath out of his lungs.

 _Stop giving me hope_ , he pleaded desperately in his mind. _You do not know what hope does to a person._

But how could she know? He had never given her even the slightest indication of how much he felt for her. 

She deserved to know, he realized at that moment. She deserved to know before this could go on for any longer. If she knew how this affected him, she would surely never do something like this again.

"I need to tell you something," he began, and Raquel's brown eyes opened and looked up at him. The sight alone made his chest convulse.

Goddammit, if he had known this was the day he was going to get his heart broken, he would have stocked up his liquor cabinet for when he eventually returned home, alone and rejected.

"What is it?" she murmured.

"I…."

The words got stuck in his throat, but she did not seem to mind, she just continued looking at him with that impossibly warm gaze, her nose bumping against his. His breath hitched.

He felt the sudden urge to cup her cheek. If only to see if she would let him.

But just before he was able to utter those fateful words or perhaps do even something more dangerous, the door to his office swung open.

"I am sorry for storming out like that earlier, _patito_. Are you hiding in here?" asked Alberto, marching in. In less than a second, his gaze had found Sergio holding Raquel in his arms in the corner of the room. His eyes widened.

Time froze.

 _There is a way to explain this_ , Sergio thought. _I just need to find it and fast._

But all his coherent thoughts evaporated as he saw the look in Raquel's eyes as she stared at her husband. 

In the fraction of a second the whole word seemed to be stuck in, her eyes had filled with an emotion he had never seen on her face before. Complete, paralyzing fear. 

Then time dashed forward again, and everything that came next happened so fast he wasn't able to comprehend it.

Raquel untangled herself from him and jumped back like something had bit her. Her next words came out in one desperate rush.

"He tried to kiss me!"

Nothing she could have said could have been more shocking. The words hit him like a hammer to the gut.

In the next moment, Alberto directed his inscrutable face from his wife to Sergio. He found himself taking an involuntary step back.

He looked at Raquel in the hope for any sort of an explanation for what had just happened, but she could only transmit panic and deep, deep shame in return. He had no time to decode it further before he found his collar being clutched inside a first. He started.

"I fucking knew it," Alberto hissed, grabbing Sergio's cake plate from his desk. "You slimy bastard!"

The next Sergio knew, something hard and sharp swung against his temple.

The pain was searing, and he was pretty sure he was bleeding, but the impact seemed to have only sharpened his senses instead of dulling them. He was acutely aware of everything was going on around him; the smell of cake that had dropped down on his shirt front, the sound of Raquel screaming and the clatter of the shards of the plate as people treaded on them, and finally, the sight of her furiously wrenching at the clothes of her husband.

She was eventually able to rip him fully off Sergio. Alberto was still spouting curses, but he was starting to become more and more cooperative with his wife's desire to get him as far away from Sergio as possible. That might had to do with the fact that the remaining party guests were starting to get alarmed by the commotion.

Sergio clambered up an upright position, holding his palm against the gash. The bleeding was not too bad, but he'd probably need a stitch or two.

"That ought to teach you not touch another man's wife," Alberto spat out before Raquel was able to push him out of the door. She then turned to look at Sergio, one last time, scanning all of his injuries. 

Her eyes flooded with devastating regret at the end of her survey and finally, unable to look at him any longer, she stepped out of the room and left Sergio alone in the dark office, stupefied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now you know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was glad to see so much discussion about the last chapter on twitter. These matters are important to talk about, and I am heartened by all the compassion for Raquel. She is a fictional character, but the issues she faced are real. I hope you understand why I have decided not to gloss over her past even though this fic is supposed to be just a light little romantic story. It is an important part of her.
> 
> Trigger warning for this one: allusions and mentions of domestic abuse, but no detailed description.
> 
> This chapter probably the saddest one in the whole fic. Don't tell me I did not warn you!

It took a moment for Sergio to process what had just happened and try come into terms with it. A precious moment during which he could hear the door to the office space open. Raquel and her husband were leaving.

In an instant, he straightened himself and dashed out - rather clumsily as he had no time to actually ensure his legs were in working order. Blood was still running down his face, and yet, he staggered out to catch her before she left.

He couldn't let her go. Not without her telling him why she'd looked so scared.

He had the most troubling feeling that it was related to what had prompted her to let out the words "he tried to kiss me." 

Storming out of his office, he saw Raquel and her husband in the doorway. But before he could call out her name, another person attracted his attention. 

"Hey Sergio, what happened to your face?" shouted one of the partygoers, causing Sergio's head swing to the opposite direction.

He waved his hand dismissively at the person who had asked this and turned back to the door that was now rapidly closing. He was only able to catch a sliver of what was happening on the other side. Raquel's husband had reached out for her - to comfort her? To do something else?

Before he could determine what was happening, the door closed with a definite click. He was not able to wrench it back open with his left hand as quickly as he would have had with his right (that was still pressed against his wound), so he ended up in a frustratingly long struggle with it.

When he was finally able to step out, Raquel and her husband were already gone.

* * *

He was not able to catch up with them even after running to the elevators. By the time he made it out the lobby, there was no trace of them. 

Even if Sergio had wanted to do a more thorough search, he wasn't able to. The second the security guard spotted the state he was in, a cab that would whisk him away to the company's private clinic was quickly called. Sergio tried to protest, but the man was adamant to have the gaping gash in his forehead treated. 

The guard was on the phone with someone while they waited for the cab. That could only mean one thing: the whole corporate would become aware of this incident in less than thirty minutes. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

He should have never allowed himself to hold Raquel like that. He should have known nothing good could ever come out of it. The results were almost comically unshocking; he was bleeding like a leaking bucket, anticipating his boss to call him and hand his ass back to him any moment now, and she was on her way home, forced to explain to her husband what had just happened.

Suddenly, Sergio wanted nothing more than to shake off this guard, call himself his own cab and try and chase Raquel and her husband down. He did not want her alone with him. Not after the look he'd seen in her eyes. Not after the way she'd been forced to lie.

He couldn't help it. He feared the worst. It was impossible not to do so. He cared too much about her to let himself be lulled by any other explanation.

In the cab to the clinic, he considered e-mailing her. He was not sure what to say, though. What could he say?

_Do not go home with him. I do not trust him._

_What happened in the foyer?_

_You can stay with me or my brother for a couple of days. Or as long as you'd like. I will make it happen._

That would most certainly be crossing some sort of a line. But his head was pounding like a jackhammer, and he did not know what else to do. He had to do _something_.

In case, of course, what he suspected was true. But what was also possible was that…. Raquel had not been forced to lie. She'd only voiced what she'd thought he might have done next. And hadn't he considered kissing her, even if it was just that small, selfish part of him he could not control?

Who was he to claim she had not seen the intention from his gaze and gotten scared?

Sergio let his phone slip from his hands and closed his eyes.

The truth was that they never should have been that intimate in the first place. It was wrong, just as it was wrong for him to develop feelings for her. And it was wrong for him to try and pretend it was not happening.

She must think the worst of him, and that thought pained him more than any physical injury he'd sustained today.

* * *

While he had been getting stitches, Raquel had sent him several long emails. He grabbed his phone with shaking hands and read them all.

She was apologizing. Over and over again, for over 1 000 words' worth. She explained that her husband got easily jealous. Told him that it was all her fault for being alone with a man she knew he did not like. Repeated again and again how sorry she was for throwing him under the bus and how much she regretted that snap decision. He had done nothing wrong and did not deserve any of what had happened. She would pay any medical bills in full and then some and submit to any punishment he seemed fit.

Not once did she explain why she had said what she had said.

It was troubling.

After a long moment of deliberation, Sergio sent her an e-mail back, containing only two sentences.

_I know I am only your boss, but you need to tell me if something is wrong. I can help you._

She did not reply. He checked his phone often to see if she had done so until the early hours of the morning. But he only thing that arrived in his inbox at 7 am was an email from his boss, Prieto.

_Meeting today. 11 am at your office._

_You know what this concerns._

Sergio clenched his eyes shut, biting back a sigh.

* * *

It was 10 past 11 and Sergio was locked out of his office. Prieto had occupied it an hour ago and drawn the blinds shut so that no one could see what was going on or who he was talking to, but Sergio had an inkling. The rest of the office was enveloped in harrowing silence, with the other employees staring at the office like it was the mouth of a beast.

His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Raquel slink out of the office, looking pale and downtrodden. When she noticed Sergio looking at him, his forehead freshly stitched, she started looking even more ill and changed tracks so that she would walk as far past him as possible.

"Marquina," Prieto then called out, asking him to come in next. Sergio ignored him, choosing to follow after Raquel instead.

She noticed this and picked up her pace, but his legs were longer and he was able to reach her by the copier.

"You didn't answer my email," he breathed out insistently.

Thousands of emotions chased each other across her face. Her lips were parted, but no words came out. Sergio half-expected her to make a run for it rather than answer his question, but then finally, she spoke up, her features grey and stiff.

"I am sorry about what I did Sergio, I really am-," she began, not looking up to face him. But then the look in her eyes hardened and she lifted her gaze, now steely. "But my personal life is _none_ of your business."

The words were so forceful they made him flinch.

He had crossed a line, but still, he could not will any remorse into his gaze as he continued staring at her. The determination in her expression wavered the more he longer into her eyes, but she kept still in her defiant stance, her back straightened, chin held up high and arms crossed.

His furiously moving train of thought was stopped by Prieto who was now yelling his name.

"Marquina!"

Sergio turned from her, allowing her to slip away in just fraction of a second. He laid one more glance at her over his shoulder as he walked to his office. She had went to her desk and was now sitting there, her shoulders slumped.

 _What can't you tell me?_ he wondered in his head. 

He stepped inside the office. Prieto got straight to the point, barely even waiting for the door to thud shut behind Sergio. 

"Murillo explained what happened and it seems that the kiss her husband get raving about to me on the phone this morning was fabricated. Congratulations. Looks like I don't have to send you into sexual harassment training after all."

The part of him that had been strained and prepared to try to articulate what exactly had happened since last night, deflated like a popped balloon of stress. But then came a sentence that tensed him up again.

"Tell why she should not be immediately fired," Prieto demanded.

He had steepled his hands over Sergio's desk, looking like a vindictive storm cloud.

"Fired?" Sergio was finally able to choke out after the longest pause.

"Yes, fired," Prieto said, practically hissing out the word. "Not only did she come onto her supervisor, she made up a false claim about you to cover it up which resulted in her husband physically assaulting you. And that husband represents an institution one of our biggest clients is dependent on. Could you imagine the kind of a hit our company would take if Alberto Vicuña called up his superiors and asked them to drop their surveillance supplier? They would find out it was because of our fuck-up in less than an hour and boycott the hell out of us. We would become Chernobyl-esque pile of radioactive shit no one would ever want to touch."

"She did not come onto me," was the only thing Sergio deigned to answer to this. It was true that their company could face major repercussions because of what had happened, but he resented the fact that a single angry police officer could have this much power.

"That leaves me the option of either firing you to please him, or firing her and playing the husband the recording of her confession so he drops his vendetta against the company. Now Sergio, what should it be?"

"You cannot play him that," he answered quickly, cold dread filling him. If he was right, he could not even imagine what would happen to Raquel if that recording was ever heard by her husband.

Prieto's eyes widened. This was the last answer he'd expected to come out of his mouth.

"And why not?"

Sergio let out a deep sigh, preparing himself to voice his darkest fears for the first time. 

"I have reason to suspect she only did this to protect herself. Her husband… I think he might hurt her if you told him the truth. You absolutely cannot do that," he choked out desperately.

Prieto quirked his brow. "And do you have any evidence for this?"

Sergio was forced to shake his head.

"So her husband has a temper," Prieto began, stretching his arms behind his back. "Doesn't prove that he is doing anything to his wife. As much as you would love him to be some piece of shit so you could sweep her to yourself, reality just doesn't bend itself to your will like that."

Sergio was dismayed his words.

"I am not protecting her because I want her for myself," he said, incredulous. "I am saying this because I am a human being with a functioning sense of compassion-"

"Then tell me exactly what you were doing with her alone in that office," Prieto shot back. 

Sergio stared at him, his throat suddenly dry. He swallowed and looked down.

_Was it that plain to see what he felt for her?_

"This will not happen again. Never. I promise," he muttered.

"It definitely will not, if I fire her," Prieto said and rose, as if he considered the meeting thus ended. Sergio shot up with him, his features darkening.

"No, you won't," he said, menacing. "You know as well as me how excellent of an employee she is. You have read what I have to say about her and her potential as my successor. You cannot afford to lose her. And you cannot prevent her husband from throwing a fit even if you do play him that recording. He might go against the company twice as hard for firing his wife. As you said, the man has a temper. And a man with a temper is rarely rational."

Prieto bit the inside of his cheek, contemplative. _He had got to him_. There was nothing upper management feared more than a lawsuit. Even if it was just the risk of it.

Sergio fought against his body betraying how relieved he felt.

Finally, Prieto sighed. "Will you vouch for her? 

"Yes, I will," Sergio said solemnly. 

In response, Prieto rubbed his face like he chasing away an impending migraine.

"I ought to fire you both for this mess you have created. And don't think I won't, if anything like this ever happens again," he threatened.

In the next moment, he slumped back to the desk, going from intimidating to looking completely defeated. "What am I supposed to do here, Marquina? They expect me to fix this, and I have no idea what do about that raving lunatic of a man."

"Suspend me without pay." Sergio offered. "Send me into that sexual harassment training. Make me the bad guy like he thinks I am, and offer Raquel my salary for this month as compensation. If he sees that I am being punished, he will be happy. Trust me, there is nothing more than that man wants in the world than to see me suffer."

Prieto nodded, liking his idea. But the look in his eyes was incredulous.

"You would really be willing to do all that to protect her?" 

Sergio did not answer, but his face must have betrayed his feelings on the matter. Prieto shook his head slowly, as if making a show of feeling sorry for him.

He then rose again. "Fine. I will do what you suggested, but remember that it was all your idea."

"And delete the recording," Sergio added. "I am only doing this if I see you delete it."

Prieto rolled his eyes, but did agree to do it while Sergio watched. Only then he could feel truly at ease. They then went over the details what Sergio would expect (sexual harassment training resources would not be wasted on him, but he would be suspended). 

After Prieto had gone, Sergio remained in his office, thinking hard. 

Finally, he reached his sorrowful conclusion. 

He had to kill his feelings for her. And if that did not work, he would have to hide them as well as he could. He would make sure to keep his distance and remain professional. Confessing would have only made things worse, he realized now. Not only could it have distressed her, it might have also reached the ears of her husband. It was better for him to step back and cut the time he spent with her. 

It was what would protect her. Nothing else was as important as that. 

He did not know whether her husband was abusive or not, and he would not investigate further unless she responded to his email. Any interference she did not consent to could only make her life harder, make her husband more suspicious and vindictive, and he had already put her in a position that had caused her to be panicked enough to lie. He would not let that happen again.

He would not be the reason Raquel ever had to be afraid again.

* * *

He was suspended for two weeks after that day. It gave him some time to reflect on the mistakes he had made and work on his game plan moving forward.

No more speaking to her anymore than necessary. No more being alone with her. No more gazing at her. No more thinking about her. No more of her in general.

He discovered that she had sent a couple of angry and confused e-mails about his suspension to the corporate. Not wanting her to tell her husband the truth that Sergio's suspension was only symbolic, Prieto must have told her that the blame for their digression lay solely on Sergio's shoulders as her supervisor because soon Raquel was e-mailing him as well, trying to take the full responsibility and asking him to speak to the corporate on her behalf.

He never replied.

When he returned to work after those two weeks, everything was different. Instead of Raquel smiling at him as always when she saw him enter, she merely guiltily glanced at him before lowering her head back to her work. Her features were tired and her skin ashen. It made Sergio want to stop by her desk and say something, anything that would bring little lightness and joy back on her face.

But he wouldn't. It was precisely against what he'd vowed to do, for the sake of both himself and her. 

So he went into his office and worked. And when it was the time to go check up on his employees, he was not surprised to see nothing that strayed from stiff professionalism on Raquel's monitor. She herself had not lifted her eyes from the computer. It was as if he wasn't even there.

"Good work," he said quietly and walked away. 

He stayed late at the office that day to catch up with the work that had accumulated during his absence. Some part of him made him open the blinds of his office, however, as the others began leaving at 5 o'clock. He saw Raquel go to take her jacket off the rack. Then her eyes strayed and she looked sadly at his jacket for a moment, just for a moment, before she joined the stream of others pouring out of the doors.

His jacket was left hanging alone in the rack.

And so it went on. He did not see her to the front entrance again, nor did as much as share an elevator with her. The only times they talked was when Raquel brought him something, or when he came to check up on her. In the end, he even stopped doing the latter altogether. What his employees achieved told him more than what they were doing at that specific moment he chose to visit them. Besides, stopping by Raquel's desk and seeing her face grow wearier and wearier pained him so much that he was not able to focus on anything else after seeing her.

She was clearly unhappy, and each day she seemed more so. He was beyond miserable whenever he even thought about the fact that he did not remember when he'd last seen her smile. Despite knowing that he was the last man on earth capable of giving her comfort, he felt compelled to do something, _anything_.

So he did little things to make her life easier; made no sure no one piled their duties on her at the last minute so she could leave in time like she liked to; provided a spare umbrella by the rack because she always forgot her own; let her take as many paid days off as she needed when her little daughter was sick, disregarding company policy.

He tried to justify it by telling himself he would have done it for any other employee. Perhaps he would have, but no one else could have made him feel as content just by looking like a little weight had been taken off their shoulders. 

He did not go into great lengths to hide what he had done, but he did not advertise it either. He simply did what he could and did not spare much thought about Raquel ever finding out it was him.

That was, until the day it happened.

Raquel had seemed more stressed out than usual that week, showing up to work several times with wrinkled blouse and uncombed hair. Judging by the snippets of conversations he had caught with her and the others, her husband was away on a trip, her mother was in the hospital and there was a measles outbreak in her daughter's kindergarten. Raquel was currently juggling her from one sitter to another. 

She seemed more distracted and forgetful than usual because of it all which Sergio could not really blame her for. He hated seeing her like this, especially knowing that he could not do much to help, so he simply took as much from everyone's plate as possible and stayed in his office, furiously working, trying not to think about her (which was more or less, his usual routine).

But even that frail sense of detachment he was able to muster within himself came crashing down the next morning when he encountered Raquel sobbing at her desk as Ágata comforted her.

The sight froze the blood in his veins and all he could do for a moment was stare at her, his heart so full of overpowering emotion it was cracking at the seams.

"What- what is going on?" he was eventually able to choke out.

Ágata answered for Raquel. "Remember those very, very important contracts that were supposed to get shipped to Barcelona on Monday?"

"Of course."

"Raquel forgot to send them, and they were supposed to be there today. But it is not her fault! It is no fucking wonder she was distracted, with everything going in her life, so remember that before you go all _Sergio_ on her, Sergio."

Sergio shook his head in attempt to express he was not going to do that. But this was taken by Raquel and Ágata as disbelief.

"I am so sorry, Sergio," Raquel sniffled, trying to get a hold of herself. "This will never happen again, I promise. I will make up for it, I will work extra-"

"Where is the envelope with the contracts?" he asked, interrupting her.

"In the mailroom. I don't- I don't think it will make it there until next week. I know it was absolutely vital that they'd be there by Friday and I take full responsibility, even it means that I lose my job."

"Don't say that," Ágata admonished, then whipped her head to Sergio. "Sergio, don't let her lose her-"

But he had already briskly walked away.

"A masterclass in sensitivity," Ágata muttered after him, but Sergio did not mind. He knew exactly what he had to do, and that did not entail wasting one more second. 

He made his way to the mailroom, took the envelope and promptly cleared his schedule.

Today would be solely reserved for driving to Barcelona and back. If that is what it took to make Raquel keep her job, that is what he would do.

* * *

When his brother asked later that weekend why he had gone all that way for her, Sergio hadn't known how to answer. It was the biggest thing he'd done for her this far and there was no way he could be able to hide why he had done it, but still, he did not say a word. It did not feel right, like sharing only a portion of what he felt for her was treachery of sorts.

"Is there anything you wouldn't do for her?" Andrés had laughed in the phone, finding this whole situation as amusing as he had when he'd first found out Sergio was somewhere in Zaragoza instead of at his desk on Friday.

"No, not really," Sergio had replied weakly.

This made Andrés laughter die down and after a moment, he offered him something Sergio never thought he would need before that day: compassionate words on how love was not always fair.

* * *

The Monday he came to work, he was late. It was the first time ever, during his long career. He dearly hoped no one would notice because he had no excuse planned in his head other than the truth; that weekend had been so emotionally draining that he'd not wanted to leave the bed.

This all was just getting harder and harder to bear, and he did not know how much longer he could do it. 

He was lucky. The office was aflutter with conversation, and no one even twitched a muscle when he arrived nearly 15 minutes late. He frowned. Is this what went on while he was not present?

Ágata and Silene had surrounded Raquel by her desk. The latter was smiling, even blushing, and Sergio could not resist the temptation to step just an inch closer to hear what they were talking about.

"I'm telling you, there is only one person who could have possibly done that," Ágata asserted.

"It can't be, I thought he hated me," Raquel said, covering her mouth with her hands as if not quite believing the conversation she was having.

"Hello, he was gone from his office for rest of the day and the Barcelona division then magically got the contracts just before the deadline. Who else could it have been?"

Sergio cleared his throat, suddenly very eager to put a stop to this assembly. 

The two women leaning against Raquel's desk jerked up like a pair of frightened mongoose.

"May I remind you that any chatting that does not have to do with work should be reserved for breakroom and breakroom only," he said.

"Yes, of course," Ágata and Silene and scattered away, but did not forget to cast some sly glances at Raquel over their shoulders as they did so. Impossibly enough, Raquel seemed to turn only pinker at this.

"Uhm, hope you had a good weekend," he said, engaging in the rare act of actually saying something to her. He felt like he had to say something casual in order to at least pretend he had not heard an ear-burning portion of their conversation.

"I had the most wonderful weekend," she answered, her smile as bright as the sun itself. It was her special smile, reserved only for him. He had not seen it in months. The sight of it grabbed a hold of Sergio's heart and squeezed until he could not breathe.

"Ah, I am glad to hear that," he said quickly when he was finally able to get words out of his mouth again. 

He then escaped into his office and stayed there until he was able to slow down his heart to a reasonable pace.

 _Alright, she suspected it was him. What now?_ his brain contemplated feverishly.

But when he thought about the whole thing, especially the way she had smiled at him, he became less and less sure whether he even should do anything. What harm was there really, if she knew he had done this to help her?

It was not as if she was angry about it. Far from. She was smiley and happy and blushing, and that was a good thing. So Sergio decided, and spent the rest of the day doing abysmally poor work while thinking just how good of a thing it truly was.

When it was time to leave for the day and he walked to the rack to take his jacket, he was greeted by something peculiar.

There was a small teddy bear fastened inside the jacket in a way that made it look like it was wearing it. Sergio removed it and took a closer look at it.

The bear had soft brown fur and was holding a heart in its paws that said 'You are a sweetheart'. Below the text was scribbled - R. M. with a black marker. On top of that, there was a small note attached to the paw of the bear. 

_Drinks tomorrow? Let's make amends._

Sergio stared at the note approximately for an eternity while holding the bear plushie in his other hand. Any passers-by would have thought him a lunatic, especially if they noticed the overpowering smile that was fast spreading across his entire face.

She thought he was a sweetheart. And now she wanted to spend time with him.

 _No, I shouldn't_ commanded the voice of rationality in his head.

 _But perhaps I should,_ countered the voice of all things selfish.

Would it really be that bad to meet up with her? Her husband was out of town and would surely not find out. And It was she who suggested it which was the brightest green light of them all. They could talk, really talk and she would maybe smile some more and he would get to enjoy those smiles. He could also try and ask about those hearts that had been on his report - and this one the bear was holding. Only to tease her, of course. It had to be just a funny coincidence.

All in all, it would be just an innocent meeting between two friends.

 _Friends_.

Even only that made him happier than anything in a long time. 

He missed her.

And perhaps, just perhaps there had been some real affection between them. Perhaps she missed him too. Perhaps this could be the start of something wonderful.

* * *

The next day, he constantly turned to look at his reflection on his computer monitor and made sure that there was not a hair out of place. He slicked his curls back, felt ridiculous, and then mussed up his hair again. It was silly, thinking that Raquel would even notice how his hair was today. But still, if only to make sure, he slicked it back again. 

The time seemed to move at a snail's pace today. It was only 2 o'clock despite the fact that he felt like he had been cooped up in his office for an eternity.

Perhaps he could kill some time and make a quick visit to everyone's desk. He had thought about starting that practice up again. Not for any particular reason, other than it was good to communicate with his employees. 

He rose, already thinking about what he might say to Raquel. But as he turned his gaze, he started.

There was a man standing in his doorway.

Prieto.

"What in god's name were you just doing?" he asked with a harsh voice, making Sergio wonder just how long he had been standing there. 

Sergio frowned. "I think the more relevant question is what _you_ are doing here."

"Oh, you know very well why I am here."

"I do?"

He made a long stride to the desk and slammed something down on it. "See for yourself."

It was a photograph of a man handing an envelope to a courier in a parking lot. But it was not just any man. It was Sergio.

"Caught red-fucking-handed," Prieto hissed out. "You vouched for her, and yet she is not competent enough in her job to send these in time. Instead, she gets you to deliver these for _her_."

Sergio hardened his face into an expressionless veneer as he turned to look at his boss. He needed to remain completely calm and composed in order to salvage this.

"It was just one mistake," he said with a steady voice. "Her work has otherwise been immaculate and I-"

Prieto immediately interjected him, his voice growing even louder and angrier.

"What concerns me more than this fuck-up is the fact that she has you wrapped so tight around her little finger to make you drive six hours to Barcelona to fix up her mess. Is she sleeping with you? Is that what this is about?"

"No, of course not," Sergio balked. 

"And why should I believe you instead of starting up the paperwork to get her fired?"

 _Fired_.

Prieto couldn't do that Raquel. Not now. Not when Raquel had an ailing mother in the hospital and a small daughter in expensive care. And not now when she was with a husband who could use this as an excuse to force her to stay home. 

"You cannot fire her," he answered, his voice cracking just a hint. 

"Perhaps she should have thought about that before trying to seduce her boss," he muttered, digging up his phone and starting to type something on it.

Without hesitating, Sergio wrenched it out of his hand. Prieto looked up at him, dismayed that he would do something like that.

Sergio began, his voice now equally as harsh and loud as Prieto's.

"She has done no such thing. There is nothing between us, and I do not appreciate you talking about one of my employees in this manner."

If there was one thing he would not take from his boss, it was baseless slander against his employees. Especially if it was Raquel, and especially because Prieto seemed to have something personal against her, never having given up his belief that she'd made advances toward Sergio and bewitched him in some way no matter how many times he was told otherwise.

Prieto stared back at him, his nostrils flaring. Then he began, with a low voice:

"She is my employee as well, and I am only looking out for the company. I will not let her create another mess."

"Then trust me when I say she had nothing to do with me delivering those contracts. I did it without her asking because I am not going to lose my best employee because of something like this!"

After Sergio had finished with his rant, they both simply stared at each other, breathing hard. Then Prieto simply let out a scoff and turned on his heel.

"I will be watching you," he warned one last time as he walked to the door.

Sergio let out an inaudible sigh of relief. Raquel's job was saved. At least for the time being, but he would use that time to convince Prieto that she was not the man-eating liability he thought she was.

But just before Prieto could walk out of the door, he stopped. He was staring at something, and when Sergio saw what, his heartbeat turned frantic.

It was the bear holding a heart that said 'you are a sweetheart'. Sergio had placed it on the chair by the door.

"Should I even bother to guess who this is from?" Prieto then asked with a low, threatening voice.

When Sergio answered nothing in return, Prieto violently grabbed the plushie and turned around.

"You lied!" he accused, shaking the bear violently in his hands.

"No, I didn't," Sergio said, his thoughts furiously racing, trying to come up with an explanation. Prieto would never believe the truth that she had not known about his intentions. He held too much against her. 

"You are lying right now! She asked you to deliver that envelope to cover up for her and she gave you this to show her gratitude. I cannot believe she had the nerve-"

"No, that is not what happened!" Sergio desperately tried.

"It is, because I cannot fathom any other reason why there would be this ridiculous bear in your office with her initials written on it!"

But there was. There was another explanation for it, and Sergio had just come up with it.

"It is a joke!"

Prieto froze, confused.

Sergio grabbed the bear from his hands before he shook the poor thing into tatters. "It is a joke because- I am anything but a sweetheart. You know that. You have seen the way I manage people."

"Then why-"

"This is what she does when she is displeased with something I have done. She needles at me. I found this in my office after my lunch break. It had to be in reference to the way I criticized her in the morning."

The look in Prieto's eyes was no less incredulous than before. "Would she really be petty enough to buy you a damn teddy bear just to get back at you?"

"You said it for yourself. She does not like me. In fact, she hates me," Sergio explained. "There is no way she could have had anything to do with me delivering that envelope for her. She thinks it more plausible for me to throw her paperwork into trash than help her in any way."

It was a blatant lie. Raquel did not hate him any more than any of his other employees did, but anything would be better than what Prieto currently believed of her. He would not hesitate to fire a woman who tried to sleep with her boss. But maybe, he would care less about a woman that simply hated her boss like Prieto must at times hate the people sitting on one rung of the ladder above him.

There was a look in Prieto's eyes that told Sergio that he believed him to some degree. Or at least wanted to believe him. Raquel disliking him was a far smaller problem than her having seduced him. 

"That would explain why she falsely accused you at the Christmas party," Prieto said, looking complentative. 

"No, I already tried to tell you that she probably did it only to protect herself," Sergio protested. 

"Or simply to see her husband throw a punch at your face," Prieto said, a slow grin forming on his face. "Women's minds are such diabolical little things."

Sergio's face darkened. Was what had happened during the Christmas Party somehow _amusing_ to him?

"C'mon, I am only horsing around with you," he chuckled at Sergio's surly expression. "You better keep it under control, though. Make her respect you. Otherwise you have to give her a good talking-to. Like she was your little wife."

Indeed, Prieto seemed to find the concept of Raquel hating Sergio extremely amusing. Sergio did know whether to feel disgusted by the whole thing or grateful that Prieto had completely forgotten about his burning desire to save the company from people like Raquel. He opted for both.

"It does not affect her work performance," Sergio said with a barely hidden scowl.

"Well good. Just make sure that she does her job and does it well."

Then Prieto's face was briefly taken over my skepticism. 

"And that is - in case any of what have just told me is true. It would be damn funny if it was, but I have to be wary to protect the company. So if I ever find out you are lying, I am going to fire you both."

Sergio did not react to this, willing his body turn into stone which Prieto did not like.

"Yes, you heard me," he said, taking one menacing step closer to Sergio. "If she does as much as smiles at you, I will find out. If she writes down your name in her diary, I will know. And if i get even a whiff that there is something going on, I will make sure neither of you works on this field _ever_ again."

Sergio merely stared back at him with defiant iciness, wiping off the droplet of spit that had hit his face during Prieto's rant. He had the sense to look momentarily embarrassed about his outburst.

"Look," he said, his features slackening. "It is not as if I don't trust you, Sergio. You are one of our gems, truly. I am just warning you. You know that we need to protect this company at all cost."

Sergio nodded tightly at this, not revealing to him than something else might have taken the spot on the top of his priority list above the company. 

"Remember that next time," Prieto warned. "But in this case, I am willing to believe you. If only because of what I have witnessed first hand."

Sergio lifted one curious eyebrow. Prieto continued with a shrug.

"I was at the Christmas party. I watched her do impressions of you. It was just... brutal. That woman does not like you."

With that said, Prieto decided he had wasted too much time on this whole debacle and marched out of the door, leaving Sergio to dwell on what had just been said.

_I watched her do impressions of you._

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he could not explain away. They were just impressions. Everyone did those of their boss at one point of their career. They did not tell you anything about what the person actually felt about their boss.

Besides, he did not know what kind of impressions they were. They could be affectionate, they could be teasing in a good-natured way, they could be…

He clenched his eyes shut. Who was he kidding? He knew what kind of a caricature came first in mind about him. And Prieto had described it as brutal too. He could guess precisely what it had been like.

The realization teared at his chest. He had to sit down before the crushing weight of his emotions made him stagger. There, he drew in deep breath and tried to compose himself.

 _Why did one cruel impersonation even matter?_ asked a voice in his head. He was used to them by now, and they had never stymied him before.

But the answer was painfully clear, whether he liked it or not.

He desperately, achingly, wanted Raquel to actually _like_ him.

There was some proof for it. She smiled at him in a way she never smiled at anyone else. She'd joked around with him with the jacket and whatever she'd decided to put on her computer monitor when he came to see her. She had given him that whole mini-party in his office. She'd been radiant after discovering he had helped her with those contracts. 

But did none of that really tell him how she felt about him? How he did know it was not simply wishful thinking? He might not see clearly simply because…

Because of love. He swallowed. Or whatever it was that he felt for her.

Countless of times, he had heard that love clouded one's thinking. It could be the case here as well. Perhaps it was only amusement he saw in her eyes whenever she looked at him. Something that recognized how ridiculous of a being he was and made her keep in mind all the details that she could joke about later. The jacket and the computer were simply pranks she enjoyed doing to liven up her work day. And their own Christmas party… It could have just been a product of pity. Or guilty conscience, after mocking him to her coworkers.

His mind fought against these conclusions. It did not want to even consider it, if only to prevent his heart from shattering. He tried to think of those little hearts she had written in his name, but it only made things worse. That could also be a mere a joke, a test how he would react. Same with the teddybear.

He tried to move his mind onto other matters. He grabbed some reports from his table and began the process of signing them. He better get at least something done today. Thinking about Raquel was poison to his productivity.

First, he checked the tip of his marker to make sure it was the right color of black. Only then he lowered it onto the paper.

But the marker ended up only hovering above the page in his grip, unmoving. All the muscles in his body had shut down as the realization had struck him.

The reason he always checked his marker nibs was because someone had kept changing their caps repeatedly a few months ago. Right around the time Raquel had first started here.

_Who else could it be?_

He put the marker down, infinite sadness consuming him.

It had all been for entertainment.

He clenched his eyes shut, feeling foolish. He couldn't believe that he'd let himself fall for someone who at best, found him absurd - or at worst, had disliked him from the start. Who could have guessed that what he had been spouting to Prieto would have actually turned out to be true.

And he'd actually thought there could be a possibility that she…

The thought was too painful to dwell on. He needed to banish it from his mind before it became too crushing. He would not allow something as frivolous as heartbreak to debilitate him at work. He still had his duties.

He picked the marker back up again and got to work, forcing the lump in his throat to stay down. He had no right to feel devastated. This was on him and his falseful projection of his feelings. He should have violently suppressed them from the start. He only had himself to blame.

The biggest problem was his hand that could not stop from shaking. Dammit. He couldn't get any signatures done this way.

He abandoned the task and buried his face in his hands instead.

Why did it matter, whether she liked him or not?

She was not here to reciprocate his feelings. She was here to work, and no part of her contract required her to actually like her boss. She was well within her right to make fun of him when he was not present and Sergio could even look past some minor pranks before starting to write anyone up.

But god, why did it have to be just _her_? 

He would have been able to bear this from anyone else other than her.

After roughly ten minutes spent wallowing in sorrow, he became angry at himself again. What was this whining that he wouldn't be able to endure this? He had suffered through worse than some minor heartache. And he should see this as a blessing instead. Raquel not liking him protected her from her husband and her job from Prieto, and her wellbeing was what, in the end, mattered the most. He would simply have to make sure that she would keep on hating him. 

It would be better that way. He needed all the hope that was still left in his system to be squashed and stomped down to death. 

He turned on the intercom and asked Raquel to come down to his office.

"Of course," she said in her cheerful voice.

Even just hearing that gave him anguish, and he had to close his eyes.

 _Soon it would be over,_ he tried to remind himself. _Soon_.

"You asked to see me," she said while waltzing into her office, a gentle smile on her face.

"Yes," said, rubbing at his face. How to even start?

As it turned out, he did not have to say anything to nudge Raquel into the correct atmosphere. Standing right in front of his desk, she had a direct view to the insides of his trashcan. There lay the little teddybear she had gifted him. Her features were overcome by shock, then confusion. 

Sergio began with a hoarse, leveled voice.

"I am going to have to ask you to refrain from tampering with my jacket. It is extremely unprofessional, and your time is better used actually working. If it continues, I am going to start keeping my jacket in my office and write you a warning. Same goes with my daily check-ups that I am going to reinstate. I recall you had a habit of doing anything in the world except work every time I visited your desk. That better not happen again."

Raquel's eyes were as wide as saucers. She looked like she wanted to say something, but in the end, could not force anything out. She simply stared at him numbly as if she could not believe what was happening.

"And regarding your invitation," Sergio said and picked up the message she had left him. "I do not think there is anything for us to make amends about. As far as I see, everything has been resolved a long time ago."

Raquel watched him, speechless, as he ripped the paper in two parts and deposited them in the same trashcan with the bear.

"That is all," he then said and swiveled his chair around to the window in order to avoid looking at her. He did not enjoy being harsh with her, far from. But it was a necessary evil.

But instead of Raquel leaving and granting him the mercy of solitude, she did the very opposite. She rounded his table and came to stand in front of him, her face pale with anger. "No, that is not all."

"Excuse me?"

"You never complained about the jacket or my check-ups before. Why now?" she demanded.

When Sergio could not immediately answer, too taken aback, she put her hands on her hips and parted her lips. Out came a rapid-fire speech of defense.

"I only did those things to make you like me. You had such a vendetta against me right from the start. You avoided me and hardly said anything to me. You even pulled a face whenever you saw me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to start working somewhere new and the boss immediately dislikes you? I did what I had to do to build a rapport between us, but all of a sudden you are claiming that I was being unprofessional? If these are your true feelings, how come you saw me off to the doors every single day?"

Sergio took his glasses calmly off and began polishing them with a cloth he dug out his pocket. Doing this, he bought himself time to think of what to say and also recover from what she'd revealed.

She'd thought he had hated her.

 _That works perfectly in my favor,_ he tried to convince himself. _I just need to keep her under the same impression._

Finally, he answered with an icy voice:

"I could see that you were doing your best to charm me. But I am done humoring you. You raise in ranks by doing a good job, not by rubbing shoulders with your boss. It was unfair of me to let you believe that for so long and I apologize. I called you here to correct my mistake."

Raquel's face moved from anger to an emotion he did know how to describe. The expression was subtle, as if she was trying not to let too much of it show, but still, Sergio could see the despair in her eyes. If he didn't know better, he would have called it a heartbreak, but he did. It had to be something else.

"I thought we…" she began, halted and swallowed. She attempted to transmorph her voice into something steadier and harsher.

"I thought we were starting to become friends," she finally said, half a retort, half a sigh.

Sergio concentrated all the acrimony he had the cabability for to deliver his next line. Hopefully, it would be the final strike and she would leave him be.

"We are not friends. We _were_ never friends and we _will_ never be friends. I am your boss and you are my subordinate. That is the relationship we have."

He let the words hang in the air like the echoing boom of ominious bells. He then lifted his gaze in order to properly face her. See for the first time what she truly felt for him.

He was not disappointed. What he saw in her eyes was hatred of the deepest kind.

 _Finally_ , she was being honest.

"Is that clear?" he enunciated at the end, his eyes as narrowed as hers.

Raquel nodded tightly, her eyes never leaving his. She then turned her back to him and began marching out of the office as if she couldn't be gone fast enough.

But just before walking out, she turned to ask him one more thing with a hollow voice.

"You only delivered those contracts to save your branch from scrutiny, didn't you?" 

" _If_ I had delivered those, that would have been the precise reason," Sergio answered with a colorless voice, already turning back to his work. "Goo-," he caught himself before finishing, and said what he'd meant to say instead. "Close the door behind you."

Raquel did just so - slammed it shut in fact. A silence descended in the office.

It was over.

He should be relieved.

But for some reason, he couldn't get it out of his mind that he had instinctively began to say "Goodbye, señora Murillo" as he had always said when parting from her. "Goodbye, Sergio," she would say in return. 

But that would never happen again. 

He ignored the agonizing squeezing of his heart and concentrated on his work, just as what what was expected of him.

* * *

Raquel Murillo made a formidable enemy.

If she had been troublesome in the beginning, over the years she grew into a sight to behold. She seemed to have taken it as her life's mission to best him by any means necessary; she challenged his points at every meeting, dedicated a significant portion of her time to coming up with ideas far better than his, completed any duties she shared with him in record time and made a show of announcing to the entire office whenever her department surpassed the amount of sales that had been his personal best when he'd still worked in Raquel's position. 

He did not know whether it all made him want to strangle her or commend her for extraordinarily good work.

She also perfected the scowl she had for him to an almost impressive degree. Sergio could sense it in the back of his head whenever he walked into a room. It made him cultivate his own glare until they both had signature glowers for each other. It was not uncommon from others to catch them in the middle of a hostile staring competition across the room. This happened many times a day because he had moved his desk outside to the office space with the others so he could observe his employees better (and limit the places he would have to be alone with her in).

Even if they were not even looking at each other, people could still _feel_ the antagonism radiating off them. It was enough to weird out even Prieto who had been suspicious of the animosity in the first place. He went as far to suggest that one of them could be transferred to another branch before they murder each other. Sergio always refused. For him, this was a test of character. He would not err as long as Raquel was there, watching his every move.

Besides, it helped to see a reminder of her hatred every day. It convinced him not allow any space for thoughts that were not equally as belligerent toward her, and it worked. As the years went by, he was almost completely convinced he had never felt anything special for her.

But sometimes, he slipped. In the dark of the night, he dreamed of pushing her against the wall, hitching up her pretty little pencil skirt and doing unspeakable things with her. The next day, he could never look her in the eye, knowing that he desired the one person he had no right to desire. 

His embarrassment about having fantasies about her, however, were nothing compared to the more damning sin his subconscious committed; his hatred toward her husband. Every time he even heard his name, something red-hot inside him flared up. He still did not know what was going on between Raquel and her husband, but still, he hated him more than anything just because of his suspicions.

It might be proof of the fact that deep down, his heart was still not his own. 

But his continuing need to protect her did not necessarily prove anything, just that he had a conscience. And if he felt immense relief when Raquel eventually started mentioning the word divorce more and more to her coworkers, it was only because her being freed from an unhappy marriage meant she would be able to do even better work going forward.

But then came the day the footage leaked.

* * *

The company that made security cameras for the police force had been a client he had scored during his early days working in this place. This meant he had, in a way, helped the bastard get arrested. But it did not make him feel any better. 

It certainly did not stop him from considering everything he could possibly have done to help her more. He should have pressed her more, dug the truth out of her, talked to their neighbors, _anything_.

Raquel had never answered his e-mail and shown no willingness to do so. He knew she was the kind of a woman who wouldn't have told anyone or asked for help, least of all him, but still, he felt utterly wretched for not having done more.

He still tried to keep as tight of a hold of his denial as he possibly could, but in the end, it turned out to be impossible. The day he fired Ángel, he realized that nothing meant more to him than her. 

He loved her. He had loved her from the moment he had first seen her, and he would love her until the moment he was laid to rest.

Seven years. Seven years, and there had only been her. The woman that hated him. It would have been ridiculous in a funny way if it wasn't so damn depressing.

But he couldn't do anything about it. She would only laugh at his face if he told him. Perhaps even spit. Those were both the worst case scenarios, but in the end, It did not matter what she did in reaction. It would all lead to the same; the assurance that she did not return his feelings.

So he kept silent and treated her in his usual, detached manner. Raquel seemed grateful for it, after everyone else in the office had completely changed their attitude toward her. Competition with him also gifted her precious distraction and sometimes she would even smile while writing down some biting remarks for the next meetings. He supposed he was able to bring her at least some comfort by just being himself, but still did not feel enough.

Once again, he started doing little things to help her, but this time, he did them with uttermost secrecy. He discreetly extended everyone's deadlines on days she felt stressed about her ex-husband's trial. He negotiated to get all the department heads parking just by the building so that she did not have to walk to her car after a long day. He started a monthly bring you daughter to work day so that Raquel could spend as much time with her daughter as possible during this difficult time. 

Months went by, and she slowly recovered. They settled back into their comfortable routine of bantering with each other and after a full year, she was mostly back to her old self, bragging about a dartboard she had with a picture of his face pinned on it and whistling while making herself a cup of coffee. It made Sergio smile, but he was carefully to wipe it off his face the second she looked his way. 

He was content with this existence, he really was. He even thought he could be able to do this as long they would work together. He had long ago stopped feeling miserable over the fact that she would never look him in the same way he looked at her. Nowadays, the hardly mattered. What gave him comfort was seeing her a little bit happier every day, and he couldn't have asked for more.

The only current bane in his existence was the upcoming company retreat. The corporate insisted that some office relationships had to worked on during the trip. That included him and Raquel in case she signed up. It was a thought he was less than comfortable about.

If he thought rationally, however, he knew it would be fine. His love for her was a quiet thing, kept firmly under the surface. He only occasionally felt sad about it, and hardly ever anymore felt like his skin was boiling when she touched him. Her company wouldn't be anything unbearable, surely.

What could she possibly do, anyway? Drive his heart so mad or miserable that he ended up accepting that Helsinki transfer the corporate offered him just to get away from her?

No, that would not happen. He had everything under complete control.

It was useless to even think about this stuff, anyway. Raquel wouldn't be coming. It was already 23:58 and the deadline to submit your participation form for the trip was in two minutes.

Sergio lifted his cup of tea to his lips, waiting for the clock to strike twelve.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Times like these when it takes me frustratingly long to update, I hope school and work wasn't a thing. I should be able to get the next chapter up sooner than this one though, so no need to kidnap into some remote cabin so I can finish this fic.
> 
> I hope not too many people are disappointed how angsty this fic got in the last few chapters (and in this one too, kinda). It is hard for me not to write some drama after a long bout of fluff haha.
> 
> Forever thankful for everyone reading!

Ever since Raquel had gotten her hands on that piece of paper with her name neatly written on it, nothing had been the same. She found herself more lost in thought than usually, more bewildered and generally distressed. It was as if she was wading through thick mist, and there was no way out back to the world of clarity in sight.

Nothing made sense anymore. Whenever she thought about Sergio, she couldn't envision how he saw her anymore. It was troubling because getting inside his head was how she prepared herself for facing him. _This man loathes you. Behave accordingly._

But that aspect might no longer be true, even if it terrified her to acknowledge it.

She wouldn't be able to come up with explanations for everything he'd ever done for her, even if she started putting up post-it notes and photographs on a wall and attaching them together with red strings like some conspiracy nut, but she was painfully aware of one thing - and that one thing changed everything.

He did not hate her. Quite the opposite, in fact. Very, very, very opposite if she was correct in her suspicions.

Raquel swallowed as she sat on the living room armchair, pondering over all this with a cup of tea in her hands. The answer was clear, but she still did not want to fully accept it, or even think about it much. It made her heart beat too fast, turned her throat dry and muddled her thoughts. 

But most of all, it made her angry. So viscerally angry that she could just feel the blood turn hotter in her veins at the thought of him and his actions. He had no right to care about her as much as he appeared to after spending nearly a decade scowling at her. What was his problem, had he hardened himself to such a degree that he thought any expression of affection something he should hide? Or had he grown so attached to her that he had started confuse his hatred with other, equally strong emotions?

Raquel rubbed at her temples, the impending tension headache lurking just around the corner. 

She should just ignore all this. Let that stupid man stay behind in Finland with his stupid feelings and never spare a second thought for him. That is what he deserved, after deciding to just go and leave her without even warning her, without apologizing for the bullheaded jerk he has been, without ever, ever, ever telling her that he might see her as something other than a source of irritation, without as much as...

Without as much as asking her whether she would like him to stay.

Raquel clenched her fingers so hard around her cup it hurt. Why was she spending so much time agonizing over this man? He could give her the moon and stars but that still would not make him any worthy of her compassion. Even if he came to her right now, kneeled in front of this chair and told her that he was sorry for giving her hell and that he did not hate her, not at all - she would stay firm. She wasn't about to give scraps to a man pretending not to be hungry.

There was a knock on the door, and all the chatter around her died. It had started snowing heavily an hour ago which had been a prelude to the snowstorm that was currently raging outside. Getting any visitors here was already odd, but at this time it was beyond perplexing. 

But then Andrés shot up, on his face that familiar smugness that suggested that the others were startled for nothing. He went to the door and came back with none other than Sergio, whose overcoat was completely caked with snow.

Raquel froze like a deer in front of headlights at the sight of him.

"Why hello, if it isn't my favorite brother in law. I thought you had left us forever," Martín said dryly.

Sergio gave him a glare. "I made it very clear I wasn't about to desert any of you. I only had to... think some things through. But now I am here to check up on your progress with your teammates."

Everyone let out a simultaneous groan.

Sergio's eyes wandered from one person to another in one stern and steady motion, as if he was a teacher inspecting his class after the summer vacation. Eventually his gaze landed on Raquel who was still gaping at him with wide, startled eyes. Faster than a lightning could strike, he turned his head, unable to bear the eye contact for longer than just that short moment.

They had not talked since that night they had kissed. Things were understandably awkward, and the situation also had a different hue for Raquel. She was momentarily terrified that he could see right though her and discover what she now knew.

Then she realized she did not care. Sergio could slowly suffocate from his suppressed emotions for all she cared. She would not ask, and hopefully he would not tell. It was better that way. Made things relatively painless until this trip was over and she would never see him again.

So she hardened her expression and stared at her tea mug like it had personally offended her. Sergio appeared to have turned his attention to someone else and soon the quiet sound of him speaking streamed to her ears. She tried to tune it out.

She tried to tune it out all night, but no matter what she did, evidence of Sergio's presence was impossible to ignore. There was his voice, the low and raspy quality of it that she could hear as clearly as if he was whispering his words directly into her ear. There were the fleeting looks he directed in her direction she could just feel graze her skin and leave a burning feeling behind. And of course, there was the fact that every time he came near, even if it was just him passing by her seat, her heart convulsed like anticipating an attack.

For what it was worth, she had to at least try and pretend she wasn't paying attention to every move he made. She rose up and went to her room to go get her book. It was some trashy thriller she had found in the bookcase of the cabin, and told the tale of a serial killer who decapitated his victims and put their severed heads on top of snowmen. It was as far from romantic as it could get which was all she wanted. 

She vaguely remembered the book falling to the floor from the foot of her bed as she had furiously clambered under her covers last night. But she did not find it there. Instead, she was faced with the sight of it neatly placed on her nightstand. One of her hair ribbons had been inserted between the pages as a bookmark.

There was only one person who could have done it.

Even in the middle of packing and rushing to get away, Sergio had taken the time to pick up her book, mark her page and set it gently onto the nightstand. This knowledge made Raquel tremble with some unidentifiable emotion, and she felt a lump forming in her throat.

As soon as she realized what was happening, she put an end to it. She wasn't going to have an emotional breakdown over something as minor as this. That would be just embarrassing. Besides, it would greatly undermine her efforts to seethe with anger at Sergio. 

Still, it was such a beautiful thing to do…

She pinched her eyes shut, forcibly stopping her track of thoughts.

He would have done the same for anyone. It was just a book, for god's sake.

Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her in any way pleased by something he had done, she waltzed back to the others without the book. Sergio did not react nor even look her way. Typical.

She settled back into her seat, but without the book to occupy by her mind, she started considering things she definitely should not consider. Such as other little things he might have done to make her life more comfortable without her knowing.

She eventually began to wonder whether it had been Sergio who had drawn the blanket over her when she had fallen asleep on the car trip here.

The thought made her feel oddly warm and light in the bottom of her stomach. She quickly stifled the feeling and tried to focus on something else, anything else - but the masochistic part of her that wanted to dig deeper into Sergio's psyche remained victorious.

"Does anyone think it is a bit cold in here?" she asked with a quivering voice and rubbed at her arms for added effect.

"Nope," answered Andrés who was wearing a thick, warm sweater and nursing a cup of hot cocoa. The sweater seemed to be of the same kind Sergio had worn. Perhaps they did have a mother who knitted for them, after all.

Once again, Sergio remained emotionless. But not long after she'd voiced her thoughts, Andrés leaped out from his seat on the couch as if he had been zapped, muttering curses under his breath. "Alright, alright, I will start up the fire," he hissed.

The words seemed to be directed at his brother whose eyes had grown just a little bit harder. They glared at each other for a moment before Andrés finally turned around and walked to the fireplace, rubbing at his arm that had turned strangely red.

Had Sergio dug his nails into his arm?

Raquel did not know how to feel about it, but one thing was painfully clear - the case of Raquel being something special for him was only getting stronger and stronger.

As Andrés managed to get the fire going, Raquel suddenly became aware that what she had mistaken as total disinterest on Sergio's part was not quite what it seemed. His face might remain stony, but when he glanced at Raquel, she could see a flicker of what she could only call concern in his eyes. It was soon replaced by contentment at the sight of Raquel enjoying the warmth.

It was so clear in his gaze that her breath caught in her throat.

He had always looked at her in a strange manner, one she could never really decipher. But it could just be that before today she hadn't been able to match the face of someone indifferent to her with the eyes of someone who...

Someone who...

She could not finish the sentence. She could not. This territory was too uncharted, too frightening, too life-changing. 

She had the urge to run into the snowstorm if only to flee from these overpowering thoughts and emotions. But at the same time, she was both unable and unwilling to move, her limbs like warm liquid. 

It had been so long since any man had looked at her in this way.

Sergio had shifted his attention from her to his phone on which he was typing something with his usual rapid-fire speed. Raquel suddenly found herself desperate for him to turn his gaze back to her and look at her in that same way again. Unabashedly, this time. She wanted him to sling away that phone and come to her and smile at her and take her hands like the night of the pub quiz and remind her that he would keep her warm now and forever and-

God, her mind was turning to mush. It had been a bad decision to stay in the common area with him, it seemed to have an extremely detrimental effect on her rational thinking.

So she leaped up to her feet, intent on going to her room and spending the rest of the night there trying not to think about Sergio. But this swift upward moment caused her to became aware of the unpleasant smell hanging in the topmost part of the room. 

It was the reek of smoke.

"Is the damper not open?" she asked, sniffing the air.

Andrés, who did not seem to even recognize the word 'damper' just looked at her with a blank, if a little irritated expression. "How about a thank you for getting the fire going before you complain about anything?"

Raquel's eyes shifted to the fireplace and saw that the lever of the damper definitely was not in the right position. Jesus. If she hadn't come along for this trip this whole lot would be dead within a day. 

"I am not going to thank you for almost giving me a carbon monoxide poisoning," she said and rushed to the fireplace. "Someone, open a window."

At the same time as Aníbal nudged the window open, causing cold air and snow immediately blast inside the room, Raquel set her hand on the lever.

A loud curse emerged out of her lips at the contact with the scorching hot metal. She yanked her hand away, her skin burning.

In an instant, Sergio was by her side. With his sleeve wrapped around his fist, he grabbed the lever and wrenched open. In the next second, he had her hand in his. 

_Are you okay?_ his eyes seemed to say, full of worry.

Any words Raquel could have possibly offered in return suffocated in her throat. Despite the fact that Sergio had had the fabric to protect his skin, his hand still looked red and irritated which concerned Raquel even thought it did not seem to be anything serious. But instead of paying any mind to it, he had taken some snow that had blown down to the couch from the open window and was now rubbing it against Raquel's palm.

He turned to the others, hissing something angry at them. He was probably giving them hell for not knowing how to actually use a fireplace, but Raquel was not sure. She could not hear a word. All she could focus on was the tender, circular motion of his thumb against her palm.

Round and round it went, even long after the small chunk of snow had melted. Sergio did not seem to be even aware of the soothing motion he was still doing, so preoccupied he was with berating the others.

Not once did he reach out to the snow to relieve his own minor ache, his thumb insistently moving on her skin.

 _He loves me,_ Raquel told herself for the first time right then and there. 

And at once, her world simultaneously brightened and descended into chaos. 

The most unsettling part of the realization was that she had already known. She had known from the moment she had read her name on that slip of paper - perhaps even longer than that because she had always, deep down, trusted him. That even despite their rivalry, he wanted nothing more than to keep her from harm.

As Raquel became aware of her heart melting and dripping down to the bottom of her abdomen, she snapped herself back into alertness. No, no, no. She could not let this happen. It was Sergio. _Sergio_.

He had forfeited the right to make her feel this way a long time ago.

She wrenched her hand away, alerting him to the fact that he had still been stroking it. He looked at her sheepishly for a moment before his face tensed into its rigid severity, and he looked away as if nothing had even happened.

And that was the exact reason why she wasn't going to allow him to do this to her. 

Sergio directed his attention to the others and harshly highlighted the fact that no one had realized to close the window yet. While he oversaw the cleaning of the mess this whole incident had caused, Raquel stalked to the corridor and grabbed her jacket. Sergio only noticed what she was doing after she already had tugged it on, along with her beanie, scarf and mittens.

"What are you doing?" he asked, whipping his head around to her so fast one could think he'd just caught her juggling knives.

"I need some air," Raquel said curtly. "The smoke is making my head hurt."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, his words sounding oddly anxious. "You saw what the weather was like outside."

"It probably should tell you something that I'd rather be there than here," she answered with a a venomous tone. Sergio's expression changed, but she did not have the chance to see what it morphed into before she had already opened the door and walked into the storm.

She had no clear aim other than getting away from Sergio in mind. Only after she had walked a good fifteen minutes with the wind smacking her in the face like a snowy whip did she consider whether it would have been just as effective of a plan to simply lock herself in the bathroom.

Regardless, it was too late to turn back down. Returning with her tail between her legs, acknowledging that Sergio had been right about the weather would just be humiliating. She'd rather just toughen up and walk to the town where she would kill time in the pub until the storm passed.

If only she could make out where the road was. All she could see was whirling whiteness and swaying snow-covered trees stretching in every direction around her.

 _You have gone through worse than a little snowstorm,_ she reminded herself and pulled the hood off her jacket further down. _Finland has nothing on you._

She did not get to enjoy this grand feeling of perseverance for long before a familiar voice rang out from somewhere behind her.

"Señora Murillo!"

 _Shit_.

She tightened her pace, leaping in the deep snow like a long-legged frog. She was fairly confident she looked absolutely ridiculous and that she was probably heading into entirely wrong direction, but at the moment, the only thing that mattered was keeping him from catching up with her.

"Señora Murillo," he called out again. 

Raquel glanced around her shoulder and saw Sergio wading in the snow with a determined stride. He looked like the terminator pursuing his next victim.

God, she hated him. 

"Why don't you go and bully someone your own size," she retorted and duck under the branches of a spruce tree. There, she would hide and catch her breath without the snow beating down on her, and hopefully gather her energy before sprinting away from him. She needed to gain some momentum to lose him.

But she stayed under the tree far too long, enjoying the shelter it gave her. Before she was able to slip out, Sergio wrenched the branches aside and stepped inside, his expression thunderous. Raquel tried to retreat, but her back hit against the tree trunk before she could take even a half-step further from him. 

The cover the spruce tree gave them had such a narrow radius that he only had to take one small step in order to surround all her senses. Raquel swallowed. She had a feeling any attempt of escape would result in him caging her in with his hands the same way he had done at the gym.

She did not want to consider why the idea of that made her so nervous.

"Señora Murillo…," he began, undoubtedly to scold her at length for leaving the cabin and a litany of other crimes she must have committed by making him come after her. But she wasn't about to give him the chance.

"So now it is señora Murillo again," she said, cutting through his words. "Funny how your preference tends to shift. Usually it is señora Murillo, but then suddenly it is Raquel when you are kissing me or thinking of your favorite word to write down."

She had caught him off guard. Sergio's face went from exasperation to slack-jawed shock. _Oh yes,_ she wanted to say. _I know. And there is nothing you can say to undo it._

She continued. "Raquel is not an actual Spanish word, by the way. It is a name. So I took the freedom to remove it from the competition."

She dug up the piece of paper from the pocket of her jacket and let it drop down to the snowy ground. The proof. Sergio stared at it like a hand grenade she'd just pulled the pin off from. 

"How did you-," he finally began, weakly. Raquel answered quickly, knowing what he wanted to ask. 

"Your brother. He just cannot keep his mouth shut," she said, recalling the way he had hinted at Erik knowing. Now that she thought about it, there were so many other hints the man had kept dropping. It was almost like his second job. "I cannot blame him, this is some top quality humor. The man who hates me writing down my name as his favorite word in the entire world. Inside, I am roaring with laughter."

That was a prompt for him to prove to her that it was not what she thought it was. He could explain the slip of paper away as a witticism, a practical joke. Sarcasm at its sharpest - writing down Raquel's name was the most hilarious thing he could have possibly have done at that moment, and the guys certainly had laughed their asses off. 

She half-wanted him to do that, tell her that it was just a cruel barb. It would make everything so much simpler, and make it possible for her to come up with explanations for the other stuff too.

But he kept his mouth drawn into a thin, mute line. It made the rest of Raquel's accusations spurt out of her in one hot, desperate stream as if holding them in for one second longer was too heavy a burden on her chest.

"That is not the only thing I have been enlightened about. I know about the necklace, and I know why you fired Ángel. Who knows, I might not have even uncovered the tip of the iceberg of everything you have done for me."

There had been so many things that worked out in her favor over the years. So many things he could have plausibly have done for her. She held her breath as she waited for Sergio to answer, tell her whether everything she suspected was true or not.

But he still hadn't said a word. He was looking down and breathing hard, and Raquel could just sense how fervently the gears in his brains were turning. So many thoughts she wasn't privy to. Was he trying to come up with an excuse, something that lifted this unbearable tension from between them and made things go back to normal?

When he still had not offered a reply after a moment, Raquel spoke up again angrily.

"Aren't you going to say something? I am waiting for a damn good explanation."

Why couldn't he just deflect? This was as good a fodder for one of their usual sparring matches as any. All he had to do was to tell her that there was a good reason for all of this. Even a bad reason would do, anything other than what she had realized earlier, that simple sentence that was burning a hole in her heart.

"Goddamn, just tell me why," she spat out.

She had gone into her usual fighting stance, her shoulders squared and fingers pursed into fists. But instead of Sergio matching her posture, he kept perfectly still - until he didn't. 

Slowly, he lifted his gaze. Instead of seeing the fire burning them as always when they argued, she was faced with something completely different. Sergio looked tired and utterly defeated.

"Why do you think I have done all that, Raquel?"

Despite his weariness, there was a soft quality to his words, especially wrapped around her name. This was a man who had no desire to fight. No, he wanted to do something completely different, something that made it only natural for his voice to sound almost like a caress right now.

_No, no, no, no._

This is not what she'd intended, not in this cold forest in the middle of a snowstorm. Not ever.

But Sergio proceeded in spite of the desperate objections in her mind. He let out a deep sigh before locking his eyes with hers. The look in them was arresting.

"I have struggled for so long against this. _Years_. Eight, to be precise."

And just like that, she was thrown back into alertness. 

_Eight_.

Raquel's stomach dropped.

"But it's no use," he continued. "Trying to keep this hidden is like forcing myself through the eye of a needle. I can't keep lying to you. I have to tell you how I really feel."

"No, don't you dare," Raquel immediately protested. Her mind was still chanting _eight eight eight eight eight eight eight eight_ , and she had no idea what would happen if more was piled on top of that, those dangerous words that would send her mind into further disarray and cause her heart to trash even more violently. She wasn't sure she could bear it. 

He looked at her sadly in response but kept going nevertheless.

"Raquel, I…." 

Raquel pointed one angry and shaking finger at him. "No! You don't get to say it after the way you have acted with me for all these years."

And yet, he did, with his eyes brimming with emotion, looking more vulnerable than he'd ever done before. 

"Raquel, I love you."

How it was possible for three simple words to wreak such havoc within a person, she did not know. She was powerless against the onslaught of feelings that immediately followed, her only defense tactic being closing her eyes and trying not to think about how this changed _everything_ , from past to present to far into the future.

Her knee-jerk reaction to these words after she'd been able to absorb most of the emotional blow was to slap him. But slapping Sergio with her thick mitten on would be as useful as smacking him with a small pillow, and it would only confuse him more than anything.

Still, she lifted her hand if only to demonstrate how furious she was at how he'd just capsized her life. Sergio seemed to instantly understand what she was flailing to do and captured her wrist in his hand, stopping her. 

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he breathed out shakily, gripping at her hand.

Each word should feel like a knife twisted inside her, but terrifyingly enough, they didn't. Instead of feeling searing pain, something light and elusive consumed her body, making her knees buckle and skin flush.

Oh god, this was the exact reason she did not want him to say it. 

She tried to will her insides to calming down, but it was as futile as trying to shove the insides of a toothpaste tube back after emptying it.

After a moment of Sergio gazing at her, trying to read her expression that had to be an impressive concoction of conflicting emotions, he let out a shuddery breath and spoke up again.

"I know you do not reciprocate. And I know this is the last thing you wanted. Believe me, I tried to kill it. I am a rational man, you know I am, Raquel. You were everything I was not used to, and you were married and my employee and you had it out for me- Falling for you was a death wish. But what I thought was impossible still happened. My heart overwhelmed my better judgment."

Raquel frowned, her previous feelings of distress being replaced by mild irritation. Unaware of this, Sergio went on.

" I tried so hard, but this trip - this trip has been pure torture. I cannot bear to be in the same room with you. Every touch, every look from you is painful. I cannot come back from the wreck I have turned into. That is why I accepted the transfer to Finland. You were the sole reason for it."

In a way, Sergio had just done her a favor. Being furious at him was far easier than any of those other complicated emotions she had felt just moments earlier. And he'd certainly given her enough reason to see red.

"How do you expect me to respond to that?" she hissed, her pride aching like a wounded animal. "Should I apologize for being such an exertion to love? Jesus, you are moving 4 000 kilometers away just because you cannot stand liking me."

Raquel took advantage of the brief moment Sergio looked completely flabbergasted and backed off, detaching herself from him. 

"If you wanted to insult me I am sure there are less needlessly elaborate ways than this," she retorted.

But Sergio bridged the distance between them once again, now distressed. "No, no, no. You are getting it all wrong."

Raquel halted and crossed her arms, as if asking _How should I be getting it?_ with her posture.

"Falling in love with you was the easiest thing in the world," he answered in one breathless rush.

Ignoring the strange bubbling sensation this caused in her chest, she held onto her anger.

"Then you should be able to snap out of it just as easily! All those objections you mentioned should help you out in the process." 

Suddenly being reminded of just how cold it was by some snow whirling inside their makeshift shelter, she added: "And the freezing temperature of this country ought to help you cool that passion down."

Sergio seemed at loss for how to answer to this, visibly withdrawing into his shell. He had started this whole thing with the expectation that she would reject him, but only now did he look truly rejected. Raquel did not know how to feel about this. She turned around, rounding the tree so that she would not have to look at him.

"I am sorry to have caused you pain, but I did not plan for this to happen despite what you might think," she murmured as she did this.

Sergio did not allow her to escape from facing him, stepping in front of her once again. His face had grown a little harder, a little more frustrated. He was almost starting to resemble his usual grouchy self which Raquel was mildly relieved by. 

"Raquel, I just confessed my love for you! That is as far from some dig at you than it can get. Why are you acting like I am attacking you?"

"You just told me you loved me against your will. If that is not an excuse to be a little rude, I don't know what is," she countered.

"I did not mean to-"

Raquel released a deep, angry sigh, cutting him off.

"I have no idea why you are so surprised that I am furious at you. Did you expect me to pat your head and express my sincerest apologies for all the pain my existence caused to your little heart?"

Her cutting tone of voice did not faze him. Instead, he drew himself to his full height and spoke up calmly, wearing as diplomatic of an expression as he could muster.

"I am sorry if I voiced my feelings in a way that offended you. This is the first time I have ever done this. But don't let any of that distract you from what I am trying to say."

 _What if I want to be distracted from what you are trying to say?_ one half of Raquel thought, while the other half was occupied with the stirring notion that she was the first person he'd ever confessed his love to.

She brought her focus back to how outraged she'd felt when she'd first realized what he might feel for her and used that vitriol to fire back.

"The presentation of this love confession - or whatever you want to call it, is only the first item on the long list of the reasons why this might just be the most audacious stunt you have ever pulled on me."

"Tell me those reasons," he demanded.

Well, if he _insisted_.

"It took you nearly eight years to say something nice to me, and the majority of that time you acted like you'd rather pass kidney stones than be around me. And now you are telling me that you love me! If this is the way you treat the people you love, I feel sorry for your family and the women unfortunate enough to have dated you."

There were more things she'd wanted to say, but these first words had flowed out of her so rapidly that she needed a moment to catch her breath and try to cool herself down. She was so infuriated she would not be surprised to feel snow melt under her touch.

Sergio looked hurt just as she'd expected - but it was a different brand of hurt than what she'd imagined. He looked more regretful than irked by her words.

"It was precisely because I cared so much about you that I had to treat you coolly," he then murmured, his voice so soft she could only just and just hear him.

Raquel let out an angry little scoff. "Are you seriously claiming that-" she began, but then thought better of it. There was something else she could say, something that could land close to the truth and finally free her heart from the constraints of having to wonder about his motivations.

"I think I know what happened," she snarled. "They said that you would lose your job if you hooked up with one of your employees. What a great and terrible struggle it must have been, having to choose between me and your precious position. Oh, but perhaps struggle is a wrong word. The decision must have taken a whole fraction of a second." 

There was a painful thrumming in her chest that only seemed to get stronger by each second. God, what was she doing? She did not want to the answer to this, not truly. But it was too late, the question had been raised and would have to bear the truth, whatever it was.  
  
But then Sergio ended up doing something so wholly unexpected that it stole her breath.

He took her mitten-covered hand in his, gently, so gently that for a moment, she thought she was in a dream. But it was true despite how it bewildered her.

Sergio had never been this soft with her before.

Or perhaps, he had not allowed himself to be.

Raquel was so overwhelmed by this simple action that she hardly even heard him begin to speak again with a low, pained voice. 

"The decision that _was_ forced on me was easy. Choosing between your safety and the suppression of my feelings. I do not deny how little anything but your wellbeing mattered to me, and I would make the same decision again."

Raquel was confused.

"What-"

Anticipating what she wanted to ask, he continued.

"Prieto thought that you planned on seducing me for benefits because of what happened at the Christmas party and how friendly you were with me. The only way I was able to save your job was to cool things down between us, make him see it was nothing like that. And your husband… how could I have remained close you with good conscience when I knew you might have to pay the price?"

The last part was uttered with such anguish in his voice that Raquel was momentarily speechless.

"You knew," she stated quietly.

"I only suspected," he said weakly. "I should have investigated. Perhaps then I could have done more to help you."

"How could you guess?" she asked, still stunned by this piece of news.

She couldn't believe it. No one else at her workplace had ever even suspected. She had taken such pains to cover up how difficult her personal life was during that period. Sergio would have been the last person she would have thought to figure it out.

But that was when she'd also thought he did not care about her.

"Did you think I didn't understand why you lied at the Christmas party?"

_He had understood, all this time._

The realization was staggering. There was so much shame attached to that particular memory, and now that all that shame was suddenly groundless, she did not know what do with it. At the same time, she felt relieved - and more embarrassed than ever.

"Yes! For years I thought you didn't!" Raquel could not help but snap.

Sergio looked genuinely surprised by this which made her feel tired down to her bones. How couldn't he have realized how much his understanding would have meant for her at the time?

"I thought you held it against me," she continued. "That you would never be able to forgive me for getting suspended and reprimanded for something you did not do. What other reason there could have possibly been for you to suddenly turn against me?"

Pain flashed in Sergio's eyes, resulting in him squeezing Raquel's fingers tighter. She felt the urge to yank her hand away, but felt strangely unwilling to do so. She felt like she would flounder like a child learning to swim without it giving her support.

Sergio Marquina being her anchor - a strange sentiment indeed, after all these years. 

"I felt so guilty for so long," she breathed out, looking up at where the branches were wavering in the wind. "I still do. It was an awful thing to do, and I hate Alberto so much for making me react that way."

She clenched her eyes shut. Enough of that bastard. Just thinking about him was like regurgitating some disgusting, moldy food. She decided she would not give him the privilege of letting her mind dwell on him for more than two seconds and directed her gaze at Sergio, giving him her full focus.  
  
"I never held it against you," Sergio answered, his voice catching a little. " _Never_."

"Nice of you to tell me now," she said, a sarcastic tinge in her voice.

It was imperative to remain nonchalant and not to show him just how good that _never_ had sounded from his lips. That might just reveal to him just how grateful she truly felt for what he'd just told her which would be an unwise move at the moment. Time for that would come later, when she was not teetering at the cusp of dangerous sort of intimacy with him.

Sergio's features were still tensed with sadness and concern. She hated to see it.

"Raquel, if I had known…" he began. Raquel quickly interrupted him.

"I don't want to talk about it. This is not about him and I, this is about you and I."

She was mostly recovered from the whole thing, but she'd rather not start poking at any ugly memories in case she got any more emotional than she already was. She wouldn't let Sergio Marquina of all people see her as a blubbering mess. He was still her nemesis, though it was getting harder and harder to grasp what that concept even meant anymore.

"So excuse me if it's little hard for me to accept that you loved me instead of hated me all this time," she said, bridging the topic back his objectionable confession.

"I thought you might have suspected..." he began, hesitantly.

"How could I have?" she scoffed. "You treated me like I was your mortal enemy."

"I already told you why I had to do it."

"Had to? Did someone force your hand? Pressed a gun to your head?" she asked harshly, though the effect of her words might have been more poignant if she wasn't still holding his hand. She wrenched it away, a little too late.

"No, but I-"

"You could have just ignored me. Treated me like I was air."

Sergio shook his head, frustrated.

"That is mainly what I tried to do, but you were so… so…"

Interestingly enough, Raquel felt a weak smirk rising to her lips. "Infuriating? Maddening?"

The look on Sergio's eyes suggested that she had hit the nail straight on the head.

"Just as combative as you are?" she continued to prod. "Admit it, you could not help but take up arms against me."

"You said it yourself," Sergio answered, his features tight. "Your antagonism was hard not to respond to. It was like ignoring a typhoon."

"You started it!" Raquel protested.

"Did I? Long before the Christmas party, you were already pulling pranks on me," he shot back.

_Oh, he knew about those._

Raquel flushed, trying to sputter out an explanation. "You know how it is at a new workplace. The easiest way to fit in is to rib at your boss."

That was only a half-truth. She had not cared as much about fitting in as getting his attention during that time.

She continued, worrying that she had not sounded too convincing. 

"And you were such a pain in the ass at times, I just wanted to-"

"Pain in the ass," he repeated, an odd color in his voice. "Is that what you thought of me?"

When Raquel did not answer, he swiftly continued. "You know, that is how you first described me before we had even met. Looks like I was right. You _never_ liked me. "

 _That is not true_ , she protested, but only quietly in her mind.

"It hardly matters what I thought about you then," she said, feeling a desperate urge to deflect. "You should be more occupied with the fact that I hate you now."

She did hate him. Despite of what he might have felt all this time, he had still acted in a way that could only inspire the deepest kind of loathing in her, and she wasn't about to change her mind about him. Not now, not ever. But still, those last words she directed to him sounded unnervingly hollow and inauthentic.

But Sergio did not seem to notice. 

"I am very well aware what you feel towards me" he said, not meeting her eyes. His voice was a bitter, weak thing. 

"I am glad we are on the same page."

"Me too." 

"Good."

"Good." 

Just then, a particularly strong gust of wind shook the tree and made it shed snow over them. Raquel became painfully aware of how cold she truly felt alongside with Sergio who released a shuddery breath that rose up as smoke. He began looking around him, frowning.

"We need to find proper shelter," he muttered.

"You do realize that these are the kind of conditions you will be moving into?" she tried to quip, but it might have come off only as something like _brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_ because Sergio suddenly looked very concerned.

" _Fuck_ ", he muttered, and Raquel was so amused to hear him curse that she barely even realized what was happening before he had already drawn her into his arms.

He seemed to be attempting to warm her up by holding her close and rubbing at her shoulders. Raquel allowed him do that for a moment, feeling a strange way about their proximity. So strange in fact that a distracting joke just forced its way out of her mouth.

"Oh man, this must be killing you."

Sergio looked down to glare at her. "Are you already using what I just told you as ammunition?" 

"You know it," she murmured, feeling surprisingly inclined to stay huddled in his arms. 

Sergio opted to ignore this and laid a new set of worried glances at the storm raging outside.

"We need to go to the town. It is closer than the cabin and we need to get somewhere warm and quick."

"Theree is the pub..."

Sergio shook his head. "No, it is not open. Everything is closed because of the snowstorm. Everything except the hotel."

"I was banned from there," Raquel grumpily reminded him. 

"So I was I, but I was able to buy myself admission with a hefty sum of money. But I had to... promise I would not bring you there."

She was lucky it was so cold here that her cheeks were already garishly red. Otherwise Sergio might have seen her flush at the memory of why exactly they were banned.

Stupid security guards. It was not as if they were actually going to do something.

"But that is nothing we cannot overcome," Sergio said, determined." I can easily smuggle you into my room and keep you hidden there until this storm dies down. It will probably do so in the morning, according to the broadcasts."

"I am not staying the night in your room," Raquel immediately objected.

God, someone up there must have gotten their hands on her diary and was intent on fullfilling each one of her current nightmares one by one like checking off items on a list. Being forced to be in close quarters with him once again had to be at the top of her list.

"It might surprise you to hear this, but I am not exactly keen on the idea either," Sergio answered with a chock-full of dryness in his voice. "Let's get moving."

Raquel reluctantly allowed him to usher her out of their shelter and stayed snugly under his arm as they marched back into the storm. Perhaps too snugly.

"If I had known it was such a pain for you to take me in, I would have packed my sexy little pyjamas with me. Made it worth your while," she joked one again, feeling the need to relieve the tension insistently clinging to her chest.

For a moment, Sergio looked like he wanted to either curse at her or tell her to keep her mouth shut (or perhaps both), but then thought better off it. Finally, he spoke up, a rare hint of cheek in his voice. 

"You know, some may consider the way you keep badgering me an expression of affection. Perhaps you feel the same way after all." 

Raquel halted like something had snatched her by the ankle. "I do not!"

Sergio did not answer, looking simply satisfied that his remark had gotten under her skin. She would not have that.

With an odd sort of panic rising within her, she detached herself from him. She then rose to her tiptoes, tilted her jaw up, looked at him with her eyes blazing and gave him her definite, final opinion of him. "You are the most loathsome and infuriating man I have ever met and nothing sort of a god-ordained miracle could ever make me love you back."

She stared unflinchingly into his eyes as she said this, prepared to face anything from shock to dejection to anger in his gaze. But what she could never have anticipated was for his mouth to curve upward.

First, she was flabbergasted at the reaction, then angry. It was a sad smile he had on his face, but still, a smile. Nothing could have enraged her more. _Was he making fun of her?_

"You are not supposed to smile when a woman tells you something like that!" she snarled and smacked her mitten against his chest. This did very little to make his smile fade.

"I am just glad we had this conversation," he finally said with a sigh. "I know now the truth and there is a… certain comfort in hearing that it changed nothing. You hate me and you have always hated me. It frees me of certain doubts in my mind. Some what-ifs hanging in my head."

Only then she recognized the emotion that was radiating off him. It was relief.

She took a moment to once more consider what he had just told her, and then finally, she understood. 

She had just given him the gift of denying him all hope. He would no longer have to agonize over the fact that she might feel the same way, but he still couldn't be with her. And no more nights would be spent hung up on things he could have done differently to have her. She was completely out of his reach, and no other knowledge could have comforted him more. He was free to love her quietly without any fear of further heartache beyond what longing from afar already brought him. Even that would dull with time which was probably his greatest hope right now as he gazed at her with sad sort of contentment.

"So thank you for that," he said before turning around. "C'mon now, we need to get out of here before we both freeze to death."

But Raquel stood still for a moment, not immediately following after him. She pursed her fingers into a fist.

_It is easy for you to tread like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You do not know the whole truth._

She held in a secret that could shatter his newfound serenity. It also involved the true reason she was so furious at him, just the acknowledgement of which brought her more pain than anything.

He was too _late_.

It was not just desire for friendship she'd felt for her handsome, kind, soft-spoken boss eight long years ago. This fact she rarely if ever wanted to acknowledge, not allowing herself to even think about it, but still, it was there and impossible to forget. And those feelings had not been fleeting and frail. Far from, despite how desperately she would like to rewrite the more embarrassing parts of her past.

Raquel gazed at the back of the man who had once been the subject of her most guilty daydreams.

There was one thing she could have answered him with that would have destroyed him. It would be the ultimate move she could pull to win this war between them once and for all. Just seven little words that would hurt him more than anything she could possibly say to him.

_I would have left him for you._

But she would hold the truth in. For now. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm throws another wrench into their plans. Raquel is conflicted about her feelings. Sergio picks up on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still cannot believe how many people there are still faithfully following this story despite my erratic update schedule. You are truly gems! And the people who leave me such long, insightful comments... I wish I could hug all of you. Every single comment and message fills me with so much joy and inspiration for this story. You have no idea how many times I have read them all (I am going to refrain from telling you, that would just be embarrassing haha). 
> 
> I have my winter break coming up which hopefully allows me to update sooner and reply to your comments. Keep your fingers crossed.

“I think the coast is clear,” Sergio muttered, gazing through the window to the lobby of the hotel. The receptionist seemed to just have vacated her station.

About time. Raquel had already spent far too much time than she was comfortable with in this storm, and the state of her clothing was starting to convince her that she had never experienced such things as warmth and dryness.

Sergio gave a gentle push to her back.

“Go, go, go!“

He did not need to tell her twice. The next second, she had slammed the door open and was racing through the lobby with all the might she had. Sergio was right behind her, whirling his head wildly about him to check if anyone had detected them.

What they’d just had to do was so ridiculous that by the time they had made it to the elevators, Raquel was halfway convinced that she had just been dropped into the set of a slapstick cartoon. Never had she ever expected to be ushered inside a hotel like a mistress of some high state official — though in the most unsophisticated manner possible.

She slammed at the elevator button quickly, but before the doors could open, she was alerted to the sound of footsteps in the lobby. The receptionist had to be returning. Then there was the life-saving ding, and Sergio practically shoved her in. She reacted lightning-fast, punching the ‘close the doors’ buttons the second her partner in crime was inside with her.

Only when the doors had closed behind them, Raquel became aware of the near-hysterical state she was in. She was both breathless from the adrenaline and choking on peals of laughter. Glancing up and taking in Sergio’s face just made it worse. Now she was properly laughing with tears in her eyes and could see a smile dawning on Sergio’s face in reaction.

_What a beautiful smile it truly was._

Soon he started laughing too, and they both were briefly immersed in the world where hijinks like this between them were something normal and delightful.

But that reprieve lasted for far too short a time. Another glance at Sergio reminded her of how things had been between them nearly a decade ago, and the laughter died down on her lips.

A lifetime ago, she had been laughing in an elevator like this with him — making fun of the new hat he’d bought or something along those lines, she could no longer quite remember. Her heart squeezed painfully, and she turned to look away from him, unable to bear his gaze.

She shouldn’t even let herself remember such things. It was too painful, and she had worked too hard to suppress the memories of just how much she had liked him for them to spring back up stubbornly like flowers after a long winter.

 _But shouldn’t things be different now that you know how he feels for you?_ whispered a treacherous voice in the back of her head.

 _No, no, no,_ argued another voice. _We are not going to think about that._

Sergio had stopped laughing as well, and soon a suffocating silence filled the elevator. The tension between them was a familiar friend, and Raquel found herself oddly comforted by it. As long as it would be hard to breathe when he was near, she was safe from her emotional turmoil taking up that mental space.

* * *

They piled their soaked outer garments to dry in the bathtub. Raquel was so happy to be out of them that for a moment, she forgot about Sergio’s presence, turning around to giddily seek out the nearest warm blanket only to collide with Sergio who was standing in the doorway.

After recovering this startling proximity with him, she awkwardly removed her hand that had been caught between their bodies. _God, this was going to be one uncomfortable stay._

She cleared her throat.

“I think it would be for the best if we ignored each others’ presence as much possible to get through tonight,” she suggested, not looking him in the eye.

“Agreed,” he said with a low voice.

Finally, he stepped aside so she could zip past him like some skittish woodland animal to the living space. He followed right after her.

Sergio and Raquel halted, both staring at the single, queen-sized bed in front of them with something akin to surprised confusion, then dread. For a blissful few moments, neither of them had been aware that this would be awaiting them in the room.

“You can take the bed,” they then both said at the same time.

They both turned to look at each other, frowned, and so ensued a round of their most customary bickering.

”I am the _intruder_ here,” she insisted once again after they had already been at it for a good 10 minutes. “We are in this situation because of me which is why I am going to take the armchair.”

She took a definite step toward the object in question but was blocked by Sergio coming to stand in her way with a serious look on his face.

“It is my fault you got banned from here in the first place and cannot get your own room. It is only right you sleep in the more comfortable place,” he asserted and turned to approach the chair, probably plant his ass there until Raquel gave up and took the bed.

This whole conversation was giving her a massive déjà vu.

“Let’s not have this fight again,” she sighed. “The last time ended up with me stripping naked in front of you, but I am not going to make arguing with me about stuff like this something you should pursue.”

The quip left her lips without her own volition. Only after it was out there, hanging in the air, did Raquel realize that implying that Sergio wanted to see her naked just made her more conscious of the fact that he probably did want to see her naked. And that he had felt this way every time she had shown him a little more skin than it was strictly professional.

She flushed.

She really needed to stop with these jokes, and not only because it led her to think about all the ways Sergio wanted her. It was also cruel, considering how tender his feelings toward her seemed to be. But it was so hard to stop in absence of any other coping mechanism for this unfathomable situation that left her emotionally floundering. If she did not tease him about all this, she might actually be forced to think about all this seriously and face the weight of eight years that came along with it.

For eight years she had been wrong about him. For eight years…

Her throat was suddenly very dry, and there was considerable pressure on her chest. She evaded Sergio’s strangely dark and studying gaze and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I should probably stop joking about that.”

“Don’t be,” Sergio answered with a low voice. “You teasing me upholds a sort of… veneer of normalcy between us. Without it, things would be just unbearable.”

The corner of his mouth then quirked up sheepishly, if only half a centimeter or even less.

“Besides, your wit is one of the reasons why I love you.”

With that said, he began walking toward the armchair again, leaving Raquel standing there, feeling like someone had just knocked the wind out of her.

She couldn’t believe he had just told her that again, so casually, as if commenting on the weather outside. With no regard for how it rocked her world.

 _You are the one to talk about what is unbearable and what is not_ , she thought with some anguish.

She was so shaken by this that she did not even try and stop him as he began to make himself comfortable by the armchair, placing a blanket and a pillow on it. She only stirred into action as he returned to take something out of his suitcase.

“Hey, this conversation is not ov-“

But just then, the wind that had been roaring inside intensified to a deafening blast in a split second, followed by an equally loud crash. Raquel did not get to see what happened, so fast had Sergio moved in front of her like a protective shield.

Only when she peeked over his shoulder, she saw what the source of the commotion had been. A thick and heavy branch had crashed through the glass of the window, probably after the wind had ripped it off the nearest tree.

Her first thought was that the branch had been seconds away from striking Sergio. Her second thought was that Sergio had not even hesitated to step in front of her and the wreckage.

 _But why,_ she found herself once again thinking, just as she had secretly wondered the same when Sergio had told her how much he loved her.

Her third thought was that it had suddenly gotten very cold, with the wind pushing viciously in like a battering ram through the broken window. She released a breath she had been holding and saw it rise to the air as a wisp of smoke.

Sergio cursed something under his breath, surveying the damage. The glass had not split into too many, tiny shards, but the front of the window was still a mess. Their most pressing problem, however, was the fast-dropping temperature.

“I am going to the lobby to get some help. Take this blanket and go wait in the bathroom in the meanwhile. I won’t be long.”

Sergio handed her the closest blanket he could reach and Raquel accepted it gratefully. There was something about a little emergency like this that made her completely forget about all the events leading up to this.

At the moment, they were just a spooked man and a woman with no prior history.

* * *

She hid in the bathroom as Sergio returned to the room with several hotel employees. She could hear a lot of shuffling and clatter, and some vacuuming as the smaller shards of the glass were removed. Finally, there were a lot of apologetic voices, and murmurs of consolation from Sergio.

She only dared to come out, the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, as she heard the door slam shut and Sergio let out a sigh, a sigh stemming deep from his belly he wouldn’t have let out in the presence of strangers.

She saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, looking toward the window with a grim expression. Raquel looked too and saw that the window had been boarded up with cardboard. It did not insulate the room from the outside cold too efficiently.

“They are not able to change the glass until the storm dies down and the repairman is able to get to the town,” Sergio explained, noting the worried look on Raquel’s face.

“Can’t you get another room?” she asked, draping the blanket tighter around her. It was still rather chilly.

“The hotel is all booked up. They offered to reimburse my whole stay because of this, but I refused. This is no one’s fault.”

Sergio looked up at her as he spoke his next, hoarse words.

“My only regret is that I am not able to provide even the basic amount of comfort for you despite taking you under my care.”

Once again, Raquel felt a stab in her chest. It almost felt as if Sergio had taken as his life’s mission to slice her open with each look, word, and action he directed to her. Why did he insist on being so good to her? Why couldn’t he just hate her and let her hate him, and allow this all to pass like it was supposed to, for the sake of her heart?

Raquel said nothing, just stared at him with her wide brown eyes. If he was able to detect the vulnerability radiating off her, he did not indicate it and slapped the pile of blankets next to him instead.

“They gave me these. Also a spa card in case I want to use the sauna to warm up. They are going to keep it running all night for my private use.”

He took a couple of the blankets and rose, taking a step toward the armchair. Something hot and fiery burst inside Raquel at the sight.

“Are you an actual lunatic? You cannot sleep by the window now!”

“I was going to drag the armchair away from it,” Sergio said defiantly as if that helped one bit.

She grabbed at this arm, yanking him toward her.

“I don’t think so.”

Sergio helplessly let her lead him toward the bed.

“If you think _I_ am going to let you take the armchair—“ he began, but was quickly interrupted by Raquel.

“We can share the bed,” she said breathlessly.

For a moment, it felt like someone had drawn the air between them taut, making them both unable to move.

Sergio looked down at her with foggy eyes, clearly still desperately trying to progress what had just been said. Raquel swallowed under the weight of his gaze.

“It’ll be a bit warmer for us both that way,” she explained. “We can share the blankets instead of dividing them up and... body heat is a thing.”

When Sergio did not immediately answer, Raquel turned to look at him. “You must see that this is the only option that allows us to get through the night in reasonable comfort.”

He did not seem to understand that she wanted this just as little as he did, but it was their only choice. He looked like he was being punished by someone which irritated her. This was not her fault.

Sergio stared at her, then at the bed, then at her again. Then he let out one, determined word.

“No.”

A groan escaped her.

“What is the matter now? Do you fear that I am going to off you during the night?“

Sergio’s eyes swept over her as if evaluating her lethality. Then he clenched his jaw.

“Something like that,” he murmured.

“Well, I will try my hardest not to,” she said, rolling her eyes.

She climbed onto the bed and turned to look at him, expecting him to follow. Sergio’s features seemed to grow only more and more rigid the longer she stared at him.

Finally, he spoke up in a hoarse voice.

“I know you are only willing to do this because you are kind and considerate. But I know that you truly do not want me to lie next to you. So I am not going to. And it would be... Improper.”

Raquel immediately objected.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We are two mature adults, not blushing Victorian gentlefolk. There is nothing illicit about us sharing the bed.”

Then, in an instant, the memory of the last time they had been on the same bed together flashed in her mind. Her climbing on his bed in the dark of the night, their hot breaths mingling, her lips wetly pressed against his, his hands on her body, her feeling like she was going to burst if her need was not sated—

A heat shot up to her chest and cheeks.

The same thought seemed to cross his mind because the next few breaths he drew in seemed labored, and his gaze was dark.

”...Just this once, as long as we don’t tell anyone about it,” she added.

Sergio’s brow jumped and Raquel had to quickly correct herself.

“Not that this wouldn’t be wholly innocent and that we would have something to hide. It’s just... you know how the others are. They already think all sorts of things, about us. But they’d be wrong and there is no way _anything_ is going to happen.”

The tension in the room was still too thick for her liking, and she had to say something to chase it away so she could breathe again.

“I mean, can you imagine?” she tried to joke once again, trying to extract humor from something as ridiculous as her and Sergio...

“Yes,” he said with a low voice, smothering the quip on her tongue.

 _Fuck,_ now they were both imagining it.

Visualizing it should make her shiver with horror, but she found herself shivering for quite a different reason.

No, she was not going to entertain these thoughts, especially about the last man on earth she should allow to affect her like that.

Let tonight be the final trial for her. If she was able to survive the night with her nemesis in the bed with her, she would never doubt her fortitude again.

Sergio seemed have taken her silence as hesitation to allow the man who had just a few hours ago expressed his most passionate feelings for her into her bed, so he began looking longingly at the armchair again. Raquel wouldn’t have that. She might loathe him, but that did not mean she wanted him to suffer for her sake.

“If you do not come here, I am going to go back to the storm and walk to the cabin where there’ll be a bed for me. I am not going to be the reason you freeze to death.”

Sergio snapped his head around, alarmed. “You can’t do that.”

“Try me,” Raquel pronounced slowly, menacingly.

Sergio gave her a glare, but there was something wary in his eyes. Perhaps, after all these years, he had come to realize that Raquel was stubborn enough to do something like that just to spite him.

He did not answer her, and more or less completely ignored her for the next 15 minutes as he shuffled around the hotel room. In the end, he emerged out of the bathroom wearing a sweatshirt (Sergio in a sweatshirt!) and comfortable slacks. He seemed to have deemed his librarian’s pyjamas too flimsy for tonight’s conditions.

The sight of him in such casual clothes, his glasses gone and his hair tousled was so astonishing that Raquel had to blink a couple of times to determine whether what she was seeing was true.

Raquel herself was wearing just the clothes she’d arrived in. Her sweater was not the most comfortable thing to sleep in, but it would do, and under no circumstances would she borrow clothes from Sergio. That would just be... distracting for them both.

She spoke up when she saw him approach.

“So have you decided, should I start gearing up for a trip home or not—“

The rest of the sentence dissolved abruptly as Sergio parted the covers and settled himself right next to her.

Not a single warning had been issued beforehand. No, she was forced to adjust to the reality where Sergio Marquina was laying just a few centimeters away from her just as mercilessly as to being submerged into freezing cold water. The effects were certainly the same, she wasn’t sure if she was capable of breathing for a moment, and it felt like her entire body was pricked by a strange, tingling sensation.

Sergio seemed just as uncomfortable as her judging by the shallowness of his breaths which gave her some consolation. She was not alone in her agony.

Or was agony the right word? Surely, this night could not _be_ that bad. This was no different than sharing a bed with an inanimate object. Sergio was not even touching her, and she was only slightly hypersensitive to every soft breath he drew in. She would be able to tune it out in no time and get a good night’s sleep, despite everything.

_Besides, what was the worst thing that could happen?_

Just then, Sergio shifted in his position, and it happened to be at the same time as Raquel moved as well. As a result, they ended up face to face, their legs brushing.

_Okay, this could happen._

In a blink of an eye, they shuffled away from each other, directing their gazes firmly to the opposite walls and keeping their legs locked in a shrimp position.

Oh, why had she been stupid enough to leave the cabin in this storm? If she’d had some sense in her head, she would already be fast asleep in her warm room, far far far away from Sergio.

What had she gotten so mad about in the first place to prompt her to leave?

Her mind was flooded with vague memories of Sergio being kind and considerate with her, making her chest feel warm and swarm with butterflies. Getting mad about him being nice to her felt foolish at first, but then she reminded herself of why exactly she’d felt so angry and desperate to flee.

She wasn’t going to do this to herself again.

All those little ways he’d infuriated her with his assholery were nothing compared to the way he’d shattered her 8 years ago.

It had been so typical of her, becoming almost instantaneously fascinated by a man who did not seem to even like her that much. She’d done all sorts of silly little things to get a rise out of him like a schoolgirl with a crush. It had probably been a crush and a highly embarrassing one at that, but it paled in contrast with the way she’d felt when she’d discovered his soft, kind side.

She had been a complete mess. The simple act of his fingers brushing against hers would stick in her head for days, and just the ghost of a smile on his lips made her heart bloom. For the first time in her life, thinking about going to work filled her with joy, and not only because Alberto had no power over her there. Work meant seeing Sergio and getting to talk to him and enjoying his warm gaze.

At that time, she did not think a better man could exist. He was so unlike Alberto, so lovable in his shy but charming way. Before she’d had even known it, she was applying an extra layer of lipstick every time she’d thought she would see him and doodling hearts instead of dots over the ‘i’s in his name.

After particularly hard days, she fantasized about him showing up to her doorstep to kiss her senseless and whisk her and Paula away to a new, kinder life.

It had not been a good time for her. After leaving Alberto, she’d often wondered whether she would have fallen just as hard and fast for any man who’d treated her better than her ex-husband. It was comforting in a way, thinking that what she’d felt for Sergio was just desperation to be loved and not real enamourement. It had taken the edge off the pain she’d felt when he’d suddenly turned as cold as ice toward her.

She had been so depressed. Not only had her heart been broken, but she’d also lost a friend and the small amount of joy that still persisted in her life besides her daughter. And she had only been able to blame herself for callously throwing him in front of the bus after Alberto had caught them in a compromising position.

Over the years, the shame and regret lingered, but she’d started to draw some strength from the animosity that had grown between them. She had to admit, competing with Sergio was a perfect way to occupy her mind when her personal life was otherwise in tatters. It was nice being able to yell and stand up to herself at work when she couldn’t do that at home. And it certainly helped her cope, thinking Sergio as her enemy she needed to outsmart instead of a wonderful man she’d lost her chance with. In the end, memories of being in love with him were so suppressed that months could go by without her even recalling that they had once been something other than adversaries.

However, it did not matter how she’d felt in the past because now she completely and utterly hated him. And she had been perfectly content that way, even more so knowing that he felt the same.

But then he just had to have been secretly in love with her this whole time.

It was like someone ripping the carpet underneath her feet. Not only did she feel like an idiot for not seeing it, she felt betrayed. If Sergio had known how much it had hurt when he’d crushed her heart when she’d been at her lowest, he would surely have let her stay in the blissful ignorance of his love and covered his tracks better. She did not want him to love her, she wanted him to keep hating on her so she wouldn’t have to think about whether her love had just been desperate infatuation or something that matched Sergio’s feelings, and how different things would have been if they had both skipped that Christmas party.

These thoughts were painful, but it did not mean she wanted things to be different now. Her feelings were gone now. Years of bad treatment from him ought to make sure of that.

She couldn’t just forgive him in a snap of a finger even though he had a reason for his behavior. Regardless of his intentions, he’d hurt her and deceived her. Forgiving him would justify it to him that antagonizing her was the only possible route he could have taken to protect her (why couldn’t he have just told her about why he wanted to cool things down between them?), and it would also lead to letting her heart melt at the consideration of his love and everything he must have done for her. That again, would lead to her falling into his arms. She could not do that. Her heart would not survive it again in case he came to his senses and realized Raquel was not really worth that strong of devotion, or if he came up with another reason he needed to coolly keep his distance in order to satisfy his conscience.

No, she would not go down that route by even letting her mind dwell on those three heartstopping _I love you_ s that had left his lips. She would firmly keep Sergio as her enemy in her mind. What she needed was a nice and completely uncomplicated relationship with a nice and uncomplicated man and lead a perfectly nice and uncomplicated life with him without ever sparing Sergio Marquina another thought.

In her mind, she cursed at herself for not being as cool and indifferent as possible toward Sergio right after he’d rejected their budding friendship. Perhaps if she hadn’t been such a spitfire and let Sergio get under her skin, it would be easier to ignore him now and not be aware of every quiver of his whiskers as he lay there next to her.

That gave rise to an unpleasant question. Why exactly did she still let him affect him so much? It was understandable in the beginning, but even after eight years, she still was willing to jump off a bridge if only he commanded her not to.

_So much for maturing with age._

She squirmed a little at the memories of all the instances she had gone out of her way to provoke him. It was not only butting heads with him at meetings or leaving teasing, “anonymous” comments about him in the office suggestion box — it was also wearing the most figure-hugging pencil skirt she could find and leaving the top few buttons of her blouse open on days she knew he was particularly on an edge.

She remembered one time she’d felt particularly wicked and worn back seam stockings with garters to work, coupled with a pair of five inch black stilettos. When she’d gone to his office that day and he’d said something particularly irritating, she’d leaned over to pick up a pen that Sergio had accidentally dropped, granting him a peek of her garter as her skirt rode up. Sergio had been so distraught he had slammed down the receiver from his hand as hard as he could and risen up from his seat to personally usher her out before locking himself up in his office for the rest of the day.

What had she wanted to accomplish with all these provocations?

Make him smile? Make him see red? Make him hard?

In any case, it was not a good sign that she was still so addicted to teasing a reaction out of him. It could mean that _something_ from their early days had persisted in her system, causing her to fantasize about Sergio one day just losing it and grabbing her and—

 _No._ It meant nothing. If Sergio did not think anything else about this stuff other than that Raquel was simply an annoying little shit-weasel, so shouldn’t she.

That line of thought struck her with a realization.

Before today, she had thought everything Sergio had done meant nothing when the truth couldn’t be more different.

She knew now that all this time, he had loved her and wanted her. But what she hadn’t managed to comprehend was that not a single word, look or touch from him had been innocent. All the memories she’d had of their interactions had been cast in a new light; the time he’d commented on the little postcard on her cubicle, he had sincerely been charmed by it. The times his gaze had instantly shot up to her instead of anyone else was because she was the one that meant most to him. And that time he had shooed her from his office and locked the door behind her was because...

It was the only way he could keep himself from doing what he _really_ wanted to do to her.

Raquel swallowed, thinking about how dark the look in his eyes had been then. How dark it almost always seemed to be when he gazed at her. It had been like that too, just a short while ago as they had both imagined being together.

It would be so easy, shifting closer to him, so close she could smell his cologne, taking his hand and guiding it underneath her sweater, to her bare breast, and discover just how much he wanted her...

In an instant, Raquel was struck with a suffocating sort of disorientation.

What was she doing? What had she been thinking?

She couldn’t just lay next to a roaring inferno and expect not to be consumed by the fire as well.

_She couldn’t share a bed with this man._

Regardless of whether there were still some feelings lingering inside her, she was not going to test that fragile hypothesis by doing something this precarious.

So she shot up on the bed, wrenching the covers away and staggering up to her feet.

Sergio instantly propped himself up with his hand and looked at her, concern etched to his features.

Raquel hugged herself, feeling strangely naked underneath his gaze despite wearing more clothing than probably ever to her sleep.

“I am cold. I need to go to the sauna. Gimme the key card,” she said quickly.

Sergio looked at her for a long moment before finally assenting. “Alright.”

He rose slowly from the bed and walked right past Raquel to the bathroom. He came back with two towels and two bathrobes.

Before Raquel could ask what he meant by taking two of everything, he explained himself.

“I am coming with,” he said simply.

Raquel’s blood froze.

“What, why?” burst out of her lips. This had been her means of escape, not another way to make her suffer.

Sergio quirked his brow, perplexed by her distress.

“Firstly, I am cold as well, and secondly, you are my undisclosed guest. I would like to make sure your presence goes unnoticed instead of just hoping it will.”

So that is how much trust he had in her.

“You are unbelievable,” she retorted. She snatched the towel and bathrobe from Sergio’s hand and turned to march away, hoping that even a short distance from him would be enough to calm her racing heart.

However, she encountered her first obstacle already at the hotel room door. It refused to budge, no matter how vigorously or desperately she twisted at the doorknob.

Soon she could sense Sergio’s presence behind her, and her breathing halted. He reached out his hand and twisted the doorknob in the opposite direction. The door immediately bounced open. Raquel felt herself flush.

Not bearing to stand one more second with her almost pressed against his chest, she dashed forward to the hallway, leaving Sergio to stare after her with what had to be utter puzzlement.

* * *

She was blessed with the opportunity to part from Sergio after he managed to smuggle her into the spa entrance and they were faced with the gender-separated changing rooms. She slipped into hers as he went into his, and now she had precious few moments she could spend away from him and clear her mind. It had become so foggy and muddled ever since she’d entered the hotel with him.

But this new-found solitude also gave way for her to be completely consumed by unwelcome thoughts and feelings. At least when she’d been with Sergio, being tuned to his presence had eaten a good portion of her mental capacity. Now all of her was dedicated to mulling over exactly what she felt for him, and whether it went beyond physical lust.

She shouldn’t feel anything, she really shouldn’t. Not even desire. Even that made her feel thoroughly distressed.

But why was she so affected with him then? And why she’d briefly felt besotted with him during this trip if her feelings for him were dead and buried? And what about the way her heart burned when she thought about his love for her?

It was all insufferable.

One would think that after the chilliness of the room, she would want to take a long, hot shower. Instead, she found herself constantly cooling herself down under a stream of cold water. But even that did not seem to stop her insides from boiling.

Perhaps she really should talk with him. Just to stabilize things a bit between them. She might manage to get him to say something snarky to her which to her was something normal and soothing*.* Preferably nothing that started with _I_ and ended with _love you._

She wasn’t sure how she would find a way to speak to him here — but then she saw that there was an entrance to a unisex sauna around the corner that connected the two compartments. She wrapped a towel around herself and tentatively entered.

The sauna was just the right degree of hot, but she did not stop to bask in its warmth. She walked across the space to the other end where there was a glass door to the men’s section.

But before she could push the door open, the vision through the slightly fogged-up glass paralyzed her.

Sergio was there, standing in the shower, his hand propped against the tiles. His head was bent down as if he was suffering a great exertion. Water was streaming down his back all the way to his legs. Judging by the tension of his muscles, the water was freezing cold.

Raquel’s eyes traveled down from his strong arms to his toned back and... a bit lower from there.

_Oh._

Heat exploded on her face, and she suddenly found herself scrambling back. She shouldn’t look at him. It was wrong, not to mention extremely unwise. That single look was already enough to completely change how she viewed him.

How could she ever think about him again without recalling just how striking his naked backside had looked under that stream of water?

As she was retreating, she heard the shower turn off. _Shit._ Now he could hear her footsteps on the wet floor.

She halted, waiting for him to leave the shower room. But that never happened. Instead, the sound of his footsteps started growing louder and louder. He was approaching the sauna.

Raquel had no choice but to plant her ass down to the bench and pretend she had been here longer than she’d had actually been, just doing your regular sauna things. She wasn’t exactly sure what they were, but she had a guess that this ladle resting in a bucket was an integral part. She grabbed it, just as Sergio entered with his towel draped around his waist.

In a fraction of a second, her mind had taken in the sight of his wet chest dusted with dark hair and stored it away in her lasting memories.

Sergio looked a bit surprised to see her sitting here, holding the ladle awkwardly in her hands. She couldn’t really blame him for thinking she’d rather stay in a women-only sauna. Then again, she’d thought he would want to go a men-only sauna as well.

She supposed he’d hoped for a chance to talk to her just as she’d had, though she didn’t think it bode well that they had both been craving each others’ company.

She should probably leave.

But she stayed rooted to her spot as Sergio approached and settled a few feet from her. He reached out his hand, and Raquel soon understood he wanted the ladle. She handed it to him and watched him use it to scoop water from the bucket and throw it down to the sauna stove, causing a sizzling sound as the temperature rose. _Ah yes, that was what it was for._

Raquel firmly redirected her gaze from the droplets of sweat and water glimmering on his skin in the low lighting and stared at the opposite wall instead.

 _This had definitely been a bad idea,_ she thought as she sensed Sergio do a similar U-turn with his eyes when his gaze wandered to her bare skin. She didn’t think she’d ever shown him this much of her legs.

Well, she might as well use this opportunity where they both would refrain from looking at each other to tell him something she definitely did not dare to say face-to-face with him.

“I did not tell you this before but...”

She let out a small, pained sigh before continuing.

“I am so grateful for everything you have done for me. Saving my job, getting rid of Ángel, and all those little things on this trip.”

Sergio did not answer nor even look at her, but she could still feel an odd sort of energy emanating from him. It was as if he was holding his breath in guilty anticipation of her adding something to that list, and Raquel immediately realized what it was with a pang to her chest.

“But it wasn’t just this trip, was it?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“I did not intend you to notice,” Sergio murmured.

“But I did. I just didn’t realize it was _you_.”

Sometimes, it had definitely felt like someone had been watching over her. Lady Fortuna perhaps, or simply karma. But how could she ever have known before today that it was Sergio that had helped her out in all those small, precious ways?

 _Wish you could have just said something instead,_ she thought, hugging her legs against her chest.

“In any case, I am grateful,” she whispered. Sergio turned to look at her, and she managed to catch the sight of the look in his eyes. It was so frighteningly warm that her next words tumbled out of her lips without conscious decision.

“But that does not mean I don’t hate you at the same time.”

In response, he blew air through his nose. It sounded almost like a snort which Raquel did not like one bit.

“What now?”

Sergio flashed him one of his sorrow-tinged grins that she’d grown familiar with during the past few hours.

“I am just amused about the fact that you cannot say one nice thing about me without qualifying it with a reminder that you hate me. Relax, Raquel. I am not going to take it to mean that you feel the same way and kiss the wits out of you in this sauna.”

Raquel suddenly very hot despite the fact that Sergio had not thrown more water to the stove for a good while. She tightened the towel around her and shot him a glare.

“At least I say something nice to you instead of refusing to do so for 8 years.”

Sergio fell silent at that. _Touché_.

After a moment, however, he did speak up again.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was not to let it pour out just how perfect and brilliant I thought you were every time you wanted me to say something?“ he asked in an anguished voice. “Remaining silent was easier.”

Raquel stared at him, her heart gyrating furiously in her chest. Sergio turned to look back at her but could not bear the eye contact for long and quickly evaded her gaze. He sighed.

“Still, it is no excuse. I should have made you feel more appreciated, and I regret letting my weakness keep me from doing that.”

Raquel was not sure how to answer this, so she said nothing. Hell, she wasn’t even sure how to feel about Sergio admitting his shortcomings. Was this something she should let soothe her aching heart or not?

Sergio continued as she remained silent.

“Because I could not tell you, I did all those things for you. It was the only way I told myself I could love you.”

Not those three words again. Raquel released a shallow breath before pinching her lips shut. At the same time, she wanted him to see how much it affected her to hear that from him so he would stop doing it but also wanted to hide it in order to protect herself.

“Well, I appreciate it. But you shouldn’t. Not for my sake,” she said with a hoarse voice, hoping to change the subject, if only in a minor way.

”Like that necklace for example,” she continued. “It is beautiful, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever owned — but you are just asking for trouble with the HR for giving it to me. I am not worth that.”

Sergio’s face twisted and he looked like he wanted to say something, but she quickly cut him off.

“And I am certainly not gonna cover for you if someone starts asking about it. So good luck with that.”

Sergio blinked as if she had said something especially mind-boggling.

“You are lying,” he finally said after a long pause.

Raquel shot her head toward him. “What did you say?”

“You are lying. You already did cover for me. I received an email from the HR department earlier today, asking me to confirm whether I had given one of my subordinates a chocolate necklace as a prank. Are you telling me you had nothing to do with that?“ Sergio asked, an odd quality to his voice.

_Oh._

She looked away, biting her lip.

“I might have lied when they asked me about the necklace,” she eventually croaked out.

“You just told me you wouldn’t cover for me, even though you already had. Why would you protect me even though you hate me so much? And then try and hide it?” Sergio asked, his voice a mixture of frustration and bewilderment.

When Raquel did not answer, he let out a muffled groan. From the corner of her eye, she saw him drag his hand across his face.

“You know, that is not the only thing I don’t understand about you, Raquel,” he then began with a strangely agitated and rapid voice. He turned to stare at her, trying to get her to meet his gaze.

“For instance, you seem to always smile when you see me. It is not always a happy smile, but still, a smile. And there was a period on this trip where you were actually friendly, even flirtatious with me. You actually left me a note about liking my smile. I was convinced you were plotting to poison me. But then I told you about my transfer and you got so upset, almost as if...”

He paused, and she heard him swallow.

“Why were you so upset?” he then asked in a low voice which barely masked some strong, unidentifiable emotion boiling inside him.

That was precisely what she did not want to think about. And she knew for a fact Sergio did not want to hear the truth either, he’d specifically told her how content he was without hope. She shouldn’t give him any, not for the sake of him or herself. He was still leaving and their relationship was too messy to try and untangle.

She was doing him a favor, really.

“None of your business,” she simply answered, refusing to look at him. It was such a bullshit answer, but it was honestly the only one she could possibly come up with at this moment.

“Raquel...,” Sergio began gruffly, clearly not accepting her response. She switched tracks.

“Might have something to do with the fact that you have such a moronic reason to transfer.”

“I told you why I chose to do that, and I do not consider it in any way moronic. I love you, and that won’t change any time soon. It is better for us both if I am gone.”

Once again, Raquel’s heart was impaled by a thousand tiny knives. If she heard those words even once more after this she would probably unravel like a spool of yarn.

“You need to stop saying that to me,” she retorted, her voice a small, strangled thing.

”You are the one who wanted honesty between us. Remember? When you marched into our room and ripped that curtain down.”

She could just hear the frown in his voice. A silence descended as she considered her answer, but Sergio beat her to speaking.

“Of course, I will refrain from talking about my feelings if it makes you uncomfortable,” he said softly.

”No, I do want you to be honest,” Raquel quickly protested at that.

That was true. The lack of transparency was what had gotten them here in the first place.

“....but I only want you to be honest when I want you to be honest,” she continued.

”Meaning?”

”In case I have questions about your feelings for me... amongst various other things, and I want to ask you about them, I expect to hear the truth. The rest of the time, I want you to keep it in.”

Oh god, she was probably making no sense. Sergio must be looking at her like a lunatic.

But surprisingly enough, he seemed to accept all this. Raquel heard him make a sound of assent.

“You have some questions?” he then asked.

“Just some questions,” she answered, not clarifying herself any more than that.

“What if I have some questions as well? Can I expect you to be honest?” Sergio countered.

“I am no hypocrite.”

“Even if I ask—“

“That is still none of your business,” Raquel said swiftly, knowing that he wanted to ask once again about the reason she was so upset about him leaving. “That is the truth of that matter.”

Sergio frowned, and Raquel started to feel slightly hypocritical.

“You can ask me anything else in the world. No topic is off-limits. And you are free to pick your own ‘none of your business’ area.”

“So, is this a game of sorts?” Sergio asked, a timbre of amusement in his voice.

Raquel shrugged. “If you want. A game to help us be more honest with each other.”

“Sounds good. Can I start?”

Raquel nodded.

“Are you happy about your promotion?“

She narrowed her eyes at him. Was he trying to dig out the answer to the question he was not allowed to ask by asking this instead?

“I see what you are trying,” she said dryly. “I will only say that I am happy that you have finally recognized my worth.”

Sergio accepted his answer with some reluctance.

Raquel thought about her own question for a long moment, wondering what was something she could ask him that was both interesting but not too threatening to his ego for him to pull the ‘none of your business' card.

Then, she figured out the perfect question.

“Why did you not like Mikael?” she asked.

Sergio’s face immediately hardened in displeasure. _Oh, he really did not like hearing that name from her lips._

“What is there to like? I heard from the girls what kind of a man he was,” he finally said in a low voice.

“No, you did not like him even before you knew what he was like. I want to know why.”

He was silent for a long moment. Long enough for Raquel to suspect he was about to deny the answer from her.

But in the end, the question did not prove to be too trying for him.

“I am not going to pretend I am some perfect, highly evolved human specimen. There is a bit of caveman in all of us, and that day was when my primitive side got the better of my emotions. I hope that explains it.”

It was a long-winded, very Sergio way of telling her he had been jealous. For some reason, it caused a strangely pleasant, tingling sensation in her abdomen. She had liked hearing that. She liked being something Sergio had not been willing to share.

She cleared her throat, realizing that her thoughts had started wandering in a dangerous direction and needed straightening out. “Your turn.”

“Are you going to keep the necklace?”

Raquel considered it.

“The problem with returning it is that I don’t think you are ever going to allow me to do that. So I might as well keep it. Would be a shame to throw it into the airport trash bin just to spite you.”

She smiled a little as she said this, causing the corner of Sergio’s lip to quirk up as well. He stretched his arm out behind him, and Raquel’s eyes followed the motion of his muscles. She crossed her legs.

This game was surprisingly fun. She was starting to feel she had been needlessly nervous about Sergio’s proximity. Just because their relationship was the clusterfuck it was at the moment, and she was anxious about what she felt for him did not mean that she could not just loosen up for a moment in his company and simply enjoy herself.

She rolled her next question on her tongue, wondering whether she should voice it. It was a bit daring, but Sergio probably would not mind her teasing him a little. Hell, he probably expected it from her.

“What would you like to see me wear the necklace with?” she murmured.

Sergio turned to look at the spot the pendant of the necklace would rest on if she was wearing it. She did not shy away, letting him look at her. She was the one who had asked this question, it would just be unfair not to let him have an appraising look. Besides, his gaze felt rather nice on her skin.

“Remember that night during your fourth year with the company when we had that fundraiser gala?” he asked in a low voice.

Raquel nodded.

“You were wearing that dark red dress with an open back.”

He did not go on from there, letting these words remain as his final answer. Raquel let out a slow exhale, imagining it — and imagining Sergio imagine it.

It really was hot and sultry in this sauna, but Raquel would hate to let the game end already. She gestured Sergio to present his next question.

“What games did you play at recess as a child?” he asked.

Raquel rolled her eyes. _Really?_

“I refuse to play if you keep asking such boring questions. C’mon, try something more... interesting,” she said, smirking.

“Alright,” Sergio said, turning to her. Raquel turned to him as well and scooted closer, a challenge in her eyes.

She expected him to think about it for a moment, really try and figure out a question that was just as fun as hers had been, but to her surprise, he spoke up almost immediately.

Almost as if there had been this one question waiting on the tip of his tongue all along.

“Who did you imagine that night when you touched yourself?”

A silence.

She could just feel the color draining from her face. She stiffened as if being as still as possible would somehow make her invisible to his eyes.

“What?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“You heard me,” he said, his gaze dark and cool.

“I—“

She swallowed up her words and looked down, heat rising to her cheeks. Or was it anger? She certainly felt like there was something vehement bubbling inside her.

He couldn’t just ask her that, it was not fair—

He had tricked her.

“Thought so,” Sergio said after a prolonged silence from her. Slowly, he rose up and walked to the door. It swung shut behind him at the same time as Raquel’s fury exploded inside her.

In no time, she was scurrying after him while desperately trying to keep her towel hitched up around her chest.

Sergio turned around, surprised as he saw Raquel follow him into the men’s shower department.

“You don't get to walk out of there, all smug and satisfied about that I fantasized about you when you are the one who has wanted me for nearly a decade,” she hissed out, one hand holding up her towel, the other’s index finger pointing accusingly at him.

Sergio did not answer, just looked at her with stony grimness.

“I have some questions for you in return,” she continued, taking a step closer.

“First question. What did _you_ consider doing when you listened to me pleasure myself?

Sergio released a shaky breath at this, his dark eyes widening at her forwardness. She drove mercilessly on.

Second question. The last time we were, you wanted to fuck me against the gym wall, didn’t you?

This time, she could actually see Sergio’s face grow a little red.

“Third question. Exactly how many times have you had to restrain yourself when I had been alone in your office, all up in your personal space?”

Sergio’s jaw tightened. It told her everything she needed to know.

She came even closer to him until she was standing right in front of him and barking out her words. “Fine, I imagined you _once_ , but _I_ could have you eating off the palm of my hand.”

“Is that so?” Sergio said, narrowing his eyes. “Always so competitive... did our friendly game turn into a race? Which one of us wants the other to a more embarrassing degree?”

”You are just as competitive,” Raquel said, something akin to a wry smile forming on her lips. “And the reason you burn for me is because you know I am your match. Admit it. You might have won the last round with that clever maneuver, but you are not going to win the next one.”

Sergio did not hesitate before firing up his immediate counterattack to prove her wrong.

“ _You_ tried to kiss me in that closet. _You_ touched yourself in my presence. _You_ climbed into my bed yesterday night, and I think we both know what would have happened if I had not rejected you.”

Raquel was so taken aback by this that a little, embarrassing gasp left her. She retreated a step but Sergio bridged the distance between them immediately, like a lion unwilling to let go of his prey.

With flushed cheeks, she let out the only accusation she could think of at the moment in a desperate bid to turn the tide in her favor.

“You love me!”

Sergio immediately countered. “And you lied about hating me. In some way, you care about me. I am not sure to what degree, but you do. Don’t even bother to deny it.”

“ _I_ lied? You lied about hating me for eight years!” She shot back, ignoring his other accusation.

“Eight damn years, and you could not even see it!”

“Neither could you!” she yelled.

Sergio’s face immediately contorted in shock. Only then did Raquel realize what she’d just let slip, and distress replaced the swirling, competitive passion keeping siege to her body and mind.

“What?” Sergio then pronounced slowly, his voice sandpaper rough.

Raquel’s mind was juggling between two options on how to proceed. In the end, the action that was easier, though rather dastardly won. She ran.

She dashed back to the unisex sauna before Sergio could react and disappeared inside. She raced through the hot and humid room to her own department, where she had a small hope of being safe from him.

What she hadn’t accounted for was that Sergio would probably follow her.

She did not get even ten seconds' worth of breathing room before Sergio was there, the door to the sauna swinging shut behind him. On his face was the most frantic expression.

“Tell me what that just now meant,” he asked with a slow but menacing voice while he approached her.

She swallowed, twisting and turning her head toward any possible escape route. But there was none, not unless she wanted to run to the lobby half-naked.

“Tell me, Raquel,” Sergio commanded once again, slowly but surely backing her toward a wall. Raquel did not even realize she’d been retreating until her back hit against the solid surface. _Fuck_ , why did she always make this so easy for him?

“Why does it matter?” she finally sighed, hoping he would just drop it. It was just a string of words she had not even thought through. They did not definitely prove anything, not to him and especially not to herself.

“Because we are supposed to be honest,” Sergio breathed out, agitated. “I cannot let you keep lying about what you really think about me.”

“You want to know how I really think about you?” Raquel murmured.

“Yes.”

She sharped her gaze into a glare.

“I think you are a coward.”

The way Sergio looked at her now made her shiver. Her knees were a second away from starting to buckle, and she hated it.

“A coward?” he asked incredulously, his nostrils flaring. This one he had not heard before.

Raquel began with an even, defiant voice.

“A coward for not telling me about your feelings because it was easier for you. A coward for rather putting thousands of kilometers of distance between us instead of dealing with me.”

God, why did it feel like she was directing a part of this at herself as well?

“And?” Sergio rasped out, his eyes darker than ever.

She paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. There was one thing that was so quintessentially Sergio she could still accuse him of in a desperate attempt to distract him from the original topic of discussion.

“You are standing in front of the woman who climbed into your bed, the woman who kissed you, the woman you _know_ wants you, and yet you hold yourself back as always. If that is not cowardly, I don’t know what—“

She had not even realized what was happening before Sergio had already crossed the scant distance between them, and the next thing she felt was his arms locked around her and his lips furiously pressed against hers.

Her last few words never got to be said.

The shock-tinged pleasure of his kiss was so intense she actually went weak in the knees like some old-timey maiden. He’d never kissed her this hard before. The room was spinning, and she felt like she was floating — wait, she actually was. Sergio had lifted her up in his strong arms, and she found her legs instinctively wrap around his waist. One of his hands was under her ass, helping her up, trying to desperately press her closer against him. Raquel let him.

Only then she realized.

Oh. _Oh._ The towel was gone.

Or more accurately, bundled at her waist, and the majority of the cloth bunched inside Sergio’s fist. He became aware of this in the next moment as well, his gaze darting to it when he parted for breath. He stared at her naked skin for a moment, breathless, stunned by the sight. Finally, his hesitant eyes met Raquel’s.

This gave her a brief window to reflect on what had just happened — and what was about to happen.

She had two choices. She could push Sergio away and flee...

Or she could just not _think_.

That second option seemed like the most appealing idea she’d ever had.

She had made up her in mind in less than a second, and her lips parted in soundless permission.

In the next moment, the towel was violently wrenched down to the floor and Sergio’s lips were on her neck, drinking the sweat drops from her skin. One of his hands was cupped around her breast, the other desperately roaming around her bared body, as if trying to feel all of her at once. She was gasping, her head thrown back, already overwrought with the stunning sensations only the touch of a man she had so long yearned to feel all around her, _inside her,_ could give rise to — along with the complete abandonment of her better judgment.

Two things were clear.

Firstly, Sergio Marquina was not a coward and was rather eager to prove her wrong on this.

Secondly, they would definitely, absolutely never be allowed into this hotel again after this.


End file.
